Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For those ladies who are wig wearers, or know others who are, I'd like to ask a few wriggly wig questions... I'm, uh, asking for a friend (not really, asking for me :) )

Exercise: wow, do I sweat when I exercise or what. I'm mostly into yoga and tennis. I was thinking of getting an exercise wig, one that I can swap for exercise time that can get utterly sodden and then swapped back again and washed that evening. Does that sound like a reasonable approach?

Swimming: not really a big swimmer but I really would like some thoughts about this. Swimming cap? It would look a bit dopey for a casual dip I'd imagine and I'm not really a lap swimmer anyway. I suppose wearing a wig in the pool or sea would be totally out of the question though.

"Real" hair cuts: so I still need to get my real hair cut to stop it poking out from underneath at the back and sides. At the moment I'll dress like a dude and pop over to the barber shop and get a quick short back and sides. At some point that probably won't be possible due to [boobs] but due to [the bald patch at the back] I wouldn't feel to comfortable going over to a hair salon. Thoughts? Suggestions?

At home: although I'm getting used to wearing the wig all day I can't wait to get it off the second I arrive home. I don't live with anyone so I feel OK about it since I don't have any "pretence" to keep up. Problem is, as soon as I do take it off I feel I don't look like me anymore. I even stop using "the voice". I wouldn't say I feel dysphoric but it sure jolts me out of myself. :/  Anyone else find this too? Coping mechanisms? For those that live with others (family, friends, lovers) do you keep it on in front of them too?

Amorous activities: I'm not in a relationship at the moment and don't intend on seeking one at least until I get my beard zapped and/or my GRS, but given that getting down to business usually involves a fair bit of hair play and/or unintentional hair tugging I doubt a wig would stay on straight, or at all, for very long. Better to take it off first? Wouldn't that spoil the "mood"/"sexy"?

Wig emergency: it's the "height" of slapstick comedy, the pompous lady loses her wig in some ensuing chaos, everyone gets to have a good laugh at the fact she's totally bald. For me that would be the ultimate humiliation. Obviously I can't carry a spare around with me everywhere but I am considering having a spare at work, but even that wouldn't be foolproof - especially if loss/damage/bird poop happened when I wasn't at work but on public transport or something. Strategies? Ideas?

Thanks! :)

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 13, 2014, 02:10:05 AM
Problem is, as soon as I do I feel I don't look like me any more. I even stop using "the voice". I wouldn't say I feel dysphoric but it sure jolts me out of myself. :/  Anyone else find this too? Coping mechanisms? For those that live with others (family, friends, lovers) do you keep it on in front of them too?

Ms Grace - let's try get some responses here, girl! 

While I wait for my hair to grow out I have exactly the same problem.    Hate going into "boy mode", which I need to do for work.   Are there any girls out there with advice on managing the split personality????

Thanks
J

I don't have the problem with exercise because I exercise at home - without my wig.

I don't swim at the moment but if I do take it up again I intend to wear a swim cap.  I would be doing lengths.

Real hair cuts:  I don't have a problem here either.  I sit down in the chair and whip my wig off.  The senior hair dresser runs the clippers over my head until I'm almost bald, which works best under a wig.  We chat about my experiences since I was last there, and about her sister who used to be her brother.  I don't care if anybody is looking.

At home: I live alone too but the wig is part of my clothes.  If I have clothes on - if I'm not in bed or on the way to or from bed - I'm wearing clothes and by definition I'm wearing my wig.  I'm also wearing jewelry even if I know I'm not going outside today.

I'm not in a relationship either.  I must admit I hadn't thought of that problem and I don't have any ideas.

I haven't thought of wig emergencies either.  Best I can say is that it hasn't happened in three years.

Thanks Mary!

As a cosplayer, I wear wigs. I find that having short hair does help. A big suggestion is to wear a wig cap. The wig cap does help. Another tip is to use bobbie pins to hold the wig to the cap better. This really helps because it is less likely to slip off. These are just things I learned as a cosplayer so I don't have to wear my wig all the time.

Reaver

For exercise, you might consider going with a hat/cap wig. It looks pretty odd without the cap, because it's a mostly bare cap with hair around the edges. You wear a baseball cap or hat with it. The top of your head stays cool or can perspire as needed.

You wouldn't feel comfortable going to a hair salon? I was going to hair salons for a decade before I ever wore a dress in public. Are you living in 1959? Men actually wear very long hair these days, too. Just grow your hair out and say goodby to barber shops. This may be a news flash, but once you decide you're transgender, you're really not one of the conservative blend-into-the-scenery people anymore. It's perfectly OK to look different if that's honestly who you are and I must say it feels pretty good.

As far as wig emergencies are concerned, there are a few things you can do. First, make sure your wig is perfectly fitted to your head. If you are concerned about it coming off, you can pin it to your own hair or even use wig tape at some of the edges to secure it to your skin. I've worn wigs in wind a lot, though, and never had this happen, though I might put my hand on my hair, just as anyone with long hair might do.

I'll leave your other issues to other folks.

~ Lyric ~

Because of the way my hair thins out across my temples (I have a very pronounced M-shape to my hair line) I can't do anything satisfying with my hair other than wear it long and straight and parted in/near the center, so I've been considering/preparing to shave it all off and go back to wearing the beautiful gorgeous wigs I wore when I first came out. I'm actually sort of looking forward to it, except for the cost: I've never had more beautiful hair than I did when I was wearing a wig, it's just very expensive to buy wigs enough to keep up with the wear and tear of all-day wear.

As a result, I have much of the same concerns that you do: I'm thinking that soon I will spend some real money and pay for a 500 dollar full-lace human hair wig from RPGShow. It's sort of my answer to most of the problems you mentioned: a full lace wig can be combination taped/glued to the head and will remain secure for 1-2 weeks at a time. You can swim with it, you can exercise with it, you can tie it up in a high ponytail, you can part it wherever, you can sleep with it (although it's recommended that you invest in a set of satin pillow cases and maybe sheets to reduce hair friction), and best of all, you can have sex with it on. If it gets tangly, stringy, or sweat-matted you can stand in the shower and very very gently pour some wig-shampoo/water mixture and wig-conditioner-water mixture over it, work them through (individual), and then very gently rinse. Don't try to style or brush the wig until it is mostly dry, however, or you will loosen hairs. There are videos on youtube that can help you with this (I can send you a link to one lady who has allopecia and who looks absolutely gorgeous in her long, 28 inch wigs (too long for me, but so lovely!)).

If you're not ready to invest 500-700 dollars in a wig yet, and are still working on finding something that works for you, I find that ordering a bunch of one style (or multiple if you'd like to have similarly colored but differently styled wigs for when you go out dancing as opposed to working, or something to sleep/have sex in) is the best bet. 3 is probably a good number to start with: one to wear on a given day, an alternate to wear the next day while the first one dries from a brief rinsing, and one to sleep in. If you're going to exercise, you could (a) gently swirl the wig in some clean or wig-shampooy water when you get home every night before bed, or you could buy a baseball-hat/ponytail attachment wig to work out in and then switch back to your regular wig afterwards...

Actually, I have some questions for all of you as well:

Does anyone else here feel like wigs come in a standard size that is just SLIGHTLY too tight for your head? Like the wig slips back from the forehead, maybe, or doesn't fit quite right? I've tried measuring my head and come up with measurements that range from just within the right size for the standard wig to just slightly (an inch or so) over. I'm not sure how to handle this. Can they be stretched slightly? None of the larger wigs seem to come in very attractive, youthful styles.

I don't know if this is going to be any help, but my wigs need to have the adjusters taken in a bit to make them fit.  This tends to result in a wrinkle in the fabric at the back, and that leads to the hair not lying flat to the head.  Any solutions to this one?