Susan's Place Transgender Resources

From what I've read, a lot of women on here are either bi or lesbian but mostly lesbian. My first relationship was when I was 13, 9 months with a woman but I was not attracted to her nor women and was putting the feelings aside, so I was lying to her, but I always from a young age knew I liked boys but I could never be in a male and male relationship, but yes, is there any women on here who are only attracted to men?

Yeah. Me. I could go out with a woman but it might not be fair because really i'm only sexually attracted to men and need to be man handled. It's the bestbestbestest feeling. In fact, just the other night, Fridday, I got it realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll good. I'm still smiling ;-0

I only like men, I'm only attracted to women in the sense that I want them to be my friend though.

There have been polls in the past.

From what I recall, it was near a 50/50 split between being straight, or gay/bi.

I'd find the old threads if I could recall anything about them lol.

I am 100% straight but I am a virgin and I never been on a date so I may not count. It sucks because I get crushes on guys and I know they will never want anything for than friendship from me ;_;

I'm a hetrosexual woman & always have been. My first relationship was with a boy in junior high school & it felt great. I've always enjoyed men as completely as possible. I have lots of women friends that we vent with each other about life, shopping, etc.... but a man is what I desire & need in bed. After numerous relationships with men pre op I'm trying my best to move forward finally toward my GRS. I so hope than I can have a functionally correct deep vagina & enjoy sex with a man. That will be heaven to feel a man inside & hopefully climax.

So yes count me in as a straight woman & so glad.

I consider myself staight though not 100% because I have strayed ;)

My first love was at 13 but back in the 1960s it was hard to explain how I could be attracted to boys but not be gay.

Completley straight here.  I tried to be with women, I always get more jealous and any relationship beyond friends fails.

Quote from: Northern Jane on April 21, 2014, 07:33:20 PM
I consider myself staight though not 100% because I have strayed ;)

My first love was at 13 but back in the 1960s it was hard to explain how I could be attracted to boys but not be gay.

We seem similiar. I was always attracted to boys/men but never considered myself gay at all & still do not. I only enjoyed the female role in any relationship with men.

If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

This thread has me so confused. Straight? CIS straight?  ???

Quote from: SammyRose on April 21, 2014, 06:54:20 PM
There have been polls in the past.

From what I recall, it was near a 50/50 split between being straight, or gay/bi.

I'd find the old threads if I could recall anything about them lol.

Most polls around here come out at about 30% gay, 30% straight, 30% bi and 10% other..

I'm straight but there is nothing really special about it.  I'm excited to one day soon begin dating, yet I'm not thrilled about the potential for rejection among guys.  Maybe it wont be as hard as I think, but I get the sense it will.   God, it's so hard to be straight in this world, lol.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on April 21, 2014, 08:08:25 PM
If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

Yeah, there seems to be an age gap when it comes to mtf sexuality.  While that's a generalization and not true for everyone, I have picked up on that.

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 21, 2014, 08:13:49 PM
This thread has me so confused. Straight? CIS straight?  ???

Most people associate their sexuality with their gender identity rather than their assigned sex; although, it could go differently from person to person, this is usually the norm.

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 21, 2014, 08:13:49 PM
This thread has me so confused. Straight? CIS straight?  ???

Yeah I was going to say it was making my eyes spin. LOL

Count me as straight, or... lesbian depending on your perspective  ??? . I'm not attracted to guys.

Completely straight.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on April 21, 2014, 08:08:25 PM
If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

Why do you think that the older transitions are more likely to be lesbian Carrie? I find that interesting.

I've always only been interested in women, but then again, I was in denial about my true gender identity for 26 years. Lately, since coming out, my fantasies have been crossing between male and female, which has really taken me by surprise. As a woman, I'm actually becoming more and more attracted to the concept of men, at least sexually. I've also wondered if my sexual desires for women is actually related more to a longing for femininity that I've held my entire life. I think it's possible that I'm Bi, and I might even become straight once I'm on HRT. No idea, I'm just going with the flow at the moment. It's strange to me that my gender identity seems to be affecting my sexual orientation so profoundly. 

Im demisexual gynoromantic....

so yeah, only girls for me
I cant really relate with guys at all so even though I find their bodies attractive at times they just have nothing to offer to me...

hey these things can change though ,you never know what life will bring you...

Quote from: JamesG on April 21, 2014, 10:01:15 PM
Yeah I was going to say it was making my eyes spin. LOL

Count me as straight, or... lesbian depending on your perspective  ??? . I'm not attracted to guys.

I am surprised to be typing this here but...a trans woman is a woman who happened to be given stuff from the wrong parts bin. A trans man is the male equivalent. So a trans woman who is attracted solely to men is straight and one who is attracted solely to women is a lesbian.

Rosie

I'd say I'm mostly hetero, but still have some interest in women, likely not sexual though. I wouldn't know, I've never had sex.

Bi-identified but 90% of my sexual experiences have been with men. Transitioned at 25. So I'm part of the whole young transitioner / attracted to guys norm. I was socialized as a feminine gay man and it's a lot easier to transition from that place than if you're a hetero guy with all those hetero expectations, so I imagine a lot of those people take time to transition because they'd have to give up so much more privilege. That's my theory.

Quote from: Kara Jayde on April 21, 2014, 11:36:12 PM
Why do you think that the older transitions are more likely to be lesbian Carrie? I find that interesting.

I thought I read a study at some point that early-transitioners (those who have SRS before the age of 30) are statistically more likely to be exclusively attracted to men, while it tended to be a more mixed bag of orientations amongst later-transitioners?

75% straight (into men) i would say 100 but im currently married to a woman and i love her so... yeah. Im 22 but i see no real reasoning to why older trans would be more likely to be lesbian and vice versa.

Through almost 40 years I never had more than a flutter for a man. The last 4 years were incredibly confusing until my "Holly sh*t, I'm a girl!" moment. Sex became less than satisfying, then frustrating to something I needed and hated at the same time. After my marriage ended I tried being with other girls to the same result. Oh, it was fun taking a girl over the top again and again. Then it was my turn, ugh! Even that, "Wow! You can really keep going!" wasn't satisfying. It always ended with them wondering if it was them, did they do something wrong. It wasn't fair to them and left me feeling like a horrible human being. Everything was fully functional, I was just on the wrong end of the pointy stick.
During the same four years I became more and more attracted to men. Interactions with men stopped being a juvenile d*ck measuring contest. (Hard to do when you are wondering if they do, in fact, have a nice one.) I hated that part of my anatomy. Hated being a man and forced to go through the chest thumping, crotch scratching ego trip called male interaction. They were more manly than me. I knew it and could have saved them a lot of posturing.
At this point I was sure I was gay. What other options could explain the kind of person I was? It only took one attempt at being with a guy to show me how wrong I was. The parts were wrong, a guy wanting me as a guy was wrong. After years of frustration and finally acceptance that I wanted a guy touching me and inside of me I felt crushed. I wanted it, but not like that. I wanted to scream at him to stop treating me like a man!

All of that to say this-

I am a girl.
I am only sexually attracted to guys.
I am straight.  :)

I admire a woman's body, but I'm not sexually attracted to women, cis or trans. I've been with my BF for 19 months now and am deeply in love. And lust, lol! We're just a heterosexual couple, period. No woman could ever make me feel the way he does. I'm not into B & D or sadomasochism, but I like being made love to and frankly, there is nothing like a guy's chest, abs, and especially his private parts to make me weak at the knees. I love a man who knows how to make love to a woman and let me be submissive. Mine does. I fully intend to have SRS, but I'll always love anal sex as well. The last woman I was with was over twenty years ago, and I don't miss it in the least. When I was with women I felt like a lesbian and jealous that she had a body I'll have to have surgery to get. For the girls who wonder if orgasm will happen after SRS, I'm positive that the mind, the brain, is the most wonderful and effective sex organ any of us can have. I hope that wasn't TMI!!!

In retrospect, I was attracted to boys like any other straight girl, and now feel I would never have been with women if it wasn't supposed to be what made a male 'normal', and can still remember the first time I was so turned on I could hardly stand was watching a gorgeous eighth grade guy kissing a seventh grade girl and wishing so badly I was her. I'll never forget that feeling of having to catch my breath. I knew then, without a doubt, that I liked boys, but in 1967, and thirteen years old, I was already a mess because I knew I was a girl inside.

Quote from: Miranda Catherine on April 22, 2014, 01:54:13 AM
In retrospect, I was attracted to boys like any other straight girl, and now feel I would never have been with women if it wasn't supposed to be what made a male 'normal', and can still remember the first time I was so turned on I could hardly stand was watching a gorgeous eighth grade guy kissing a seventh grade girl and wishing so badly I was her. I'll never forget that feeling of having to catch my breath. I knew then, without a doubt, that I liked boys, but in 1967, and thirteen years old, I was already a mess because I knew I was a girl inside.

You know thats the same with me. I told my cousin when we were 6 that i planned to be a bride and marry a boy, but by the time we were teenagers my famuy and religion had beat the idea that men were meant to be with women. In fact i never had sex until i was almost 19 and i was blacked out drunk, i found out the next morning when i woke up next to a girl that been trying to get my attention for several weeks.

Well I'm an oldie (but a goodie :laugh:), heterosexual female in a relationship with a straight man.

Yeppers I'm straight and only been with guys. Unless you count at 10 yrs old, but lol we didn't even know what dating was. We just went to these weekly parties, and to be cool you had to be with someone, but we thought kissing was gross, and were ultimately just friends. After that a lot of girls wanted to date me or do stuff with me and it just was upsetting because I only thought of them as my friends. I lost my virginity to a boy way too young.

I think most people here like women or used to tho. I always feel kind of left out. :(

One thing that i could never make sense of is why some people identified as "not a gay guy" before transition and dated girls until transitioning. I mean, you like who you like right? Orientation isn't even a choice whether you identify or not.

Actually you might of have to be careful if you befriend trans women, just saying, a lot of times they will claim to be straight but really they just want to get close to you and eventually reveal that they like or only like women. I couldn't believe that but that happened to me and a friend from here. That crazy bitch pretended to be completely straight and started getting really creepy, esp with my friend.

I suppose when I was growing I liked guys, and had partners, but I didn't feel Gay. Now I'm a woman I accept my feelings for men very easily. It's just a different inner feeling now.

Quote from: Cindy on April 22, 2014, 03:14:17 AM
I suppose when I was growing I liked guys, and had partners, but I didn't feel Gay. Now I'm a woman I accept my feelings for men very easily. It's just a different inner feeling now.

But, if you had a wife is it fair to her to call yourself totally straight? Im not implying anything and its ok to like both though.

Quote from: sad panda on April 22, 2014, 03:21:22 AM
But, if you had a wife is it fair to her to call yourself totally straight? Im not implying anything and its ok to like both though.

Well I have a wife, we fell in love and still love each other, but sexual relations was never something we had as any priority, and we haven't for 25 years or so, we just needed the companionship of being together. I'm not denying I may be Bi, not a problem, but since being a woman FT I have had no attraction to other women in any sexual sense.

Of course I need to add, that when I was a teen homosexuality was illegal where I was. You were sent to gaol, a male gaol >:(

Quote from: Cindy on April 22, 2014, 03:25:00 AM
Well I have a wife, we fell in love and still love each other, but sexual relations was never something we had as any priority, and we haven't for 25 years or so, we just needed the companionship of being together. I'm not denying I may be Bi, not a problem, but since being a woman FT I have had no attraction to other women in any sexual sense.

ok fair enough. :) I can't pretend to understand but it doesn't matter for me to, that's great that you discovered what you like!

Societal acceptance of gender and sexual orientation has changed so much, that unless you were living in those times it is incomprehensible about how difficult it was to express yourself. A bit like being homosexual or TG in Uganda nowadays.

Oh yah for sure, like there was the hanky code lol.

I wonder if I'll become straight if I ever get on HRT or even go any further with my transition. I have been only with one another boy for a year when I was 15 years old. Didn't like it much...

Sonia

Quote from: sad panda on April 22, 2014, 03:07:02 AM
One thing that i could never make sense of is why some people identified as "not a gay guy" before transition and dated girls until transitioning. I mean, you like who you like right? Orientation isn't even a choice whether you identify or not.

Erm, how about because I'm not a gay guy?
::)

Whilst I was in denial about my gender identity, I never found men attractive. Not even a little bit. Now that I am freeing the floodgates of denial and accepting my gender identity, a side effect of it seems to be that I might actually be attracted to men as well. I can't really explain it, but one theory I have is that I confused longing to be a woman with sexual desire, and then sexually lived vicariously through the women's experience. It's not like I knew I liked guys before hand, and I'm starting to accept it - I honestly didn't find men attractive before at all. Make of that what you will.

Quote from: BeingSonia on April 22, 2014, 04:01:03 AM
I wonder if I'll become straight if I ever get on HRT or even go any further with my transition. I have been only with one another boy for a year when I was 15 years old. Didn't like it much...

Sonia

You may, you may not. Sexuality and gender are different and there are no rules. Nor should there be. Accept yourself for being you. Each of us are wonderful.

hrt made me a lesbian by killing my libido and by making me more emotional....


lol...true story though

I've always been interested in the sexuality shift people experience. For me, my sexuality is pretty much locked.  I remember trying to change it when I was younger, but nothing could make me feel differently. I was who I was.  And even though I didn't see myself as a gay guy, part of me accepted that was how I was seen and even came out as such in the past.  When I see other people having the ability to alter their own sexuality, it confuses me.  But I know it happens as many experience that.  It just is something I can't relate with.  I really don't think it's a hormonal thing more than people opening up to things they kept locked down.

In the end, all that matters is that you follow your heart.  Gay, Straight, bi, lez, it really doesn't matter.  Everyone deserves love and happiness.  I say this as someone who used to struggle with accepting their sexuality. 

These threads always bum me out because it makes me think about romance and then in turn I remember how lonely I am and how much I desire a boyfriend that I'll probably never find.  I would date now if I weren't afraid of societal judgement and not being attractive enough for a partner.   In any event, it's all confusing when you are in andro mode about how to even go forward with dating.   Eh....

Quote from: learningtolive on April 22, 2014, 04:47:18 AM
I've always been interested in the sexuality shift people experience. For me, my sexuality is pretty much locked.  I remember trying to change it when I was younger, but nothing could make me feel differently. I was who I was.  And even though I didn't see myself as a gay guy, part of me accepted that was how I was seen and even came out as such in the past.  When I see other people having the ability to alter their own sexuality, it confuses me.  But I know it happens as many experience that.  It just is something I can't relate with.  I really don't think it's a hormonal thing more than people opening up to things they kept locked down.

In the end, all that matters is that you follow your heart.  Gay, Straight, bi, lez, it really doesn't matter.  Everyone deserves love and happiness.  I say this as someone who used to struggle with accepting their sexuality. 

TThese threads always bum me out because it makes me think about romance and then in turn I remember how lonely I am and how much I desire a boyfriend that I'll probably never find. I would date now if I weren't afraid of societal judgement and not being attractive enough for a partner.   In any event, it's all confusing when you are in andro mode about how to even go forward with dating.   Eh....

From an old woman. You find people who want you for who you are and accept you when you are not looking for them.

People are not attracted to the desperate, but to the confident.

You will find your lover one day and he/she will surprise you.

Mainly because lovers are surprising :-*

That's true, but men seem very visually focused.  I feel like I have to be insanely pretty, which I'm not, in order to attract a guy.  Because I'm trans I'm automatically put at a disadvantage when it comes to cis girls and need to almost give him a reason for choosing me over a different girl.  The sad fact is men may love the girl they are with, but they usually find her or give her a chance because of her looks.  It's usually the initial thing they notice and confidence is something I don't have yet.  At this stage, I feel very ugly, and since I'm andro, I will have difficulty attracting gay and straight men a like.  I can't help feeling lonely about it because of where I am.   I do get checked out here and there (which makes me feel both nice and creeped out) but I'm just in such a weird uncertain stage looks wise.  Let's face it, dating is hard when you're trans.  then again I haven't tried yet, so maybe I am worrying about nothing.

Quote from: sad panda on April 22, 2014, 03:21:22 AM
But, if you had a wife is it fair to her to call yourself totally straight? Im not implying anything and its ok to like both though.

Not sure how to explain the process that led me to the conclusion I was straight. How it happened or why, I honestly do not know, but at some point I lost all physical attraction to women. Maybe I never was. When I told my ex-wife what I was going through she was angry at first because she thought after years of problems that there was something wrong with her. Then she said she should have known, she asked on our honeymoon, after way too many mojitos, how I had gotten to be so good with women when I had been with so few. Evidently I said I just do what I would want done to me if I was a woman. I don't know about the women thing. My therapist though at first I might be a sociopath because I never miss anything or anyone. I have way, way, way too much empathy for that. Now she thinks, that because of my childhood, I have become a world champion at forgetting.
As for guys, what can I say? I didn't, now I do. I do know that me feeling like a woman inside and me wanting men are independent of each other. I know that being around a guy I find attractive makes me burn. I know that the thought of a guy touching me the way I am now makes me ill. Maybe if the guy I dated and tried to have sex with would have been more willing to be the man of the pairing, my transitioning would have been delayed a little, but not by much. It's not about sex, not for me anyway.
Everything inside my head is female, the man is gone. I have to remind myself a hundred times a day that the world doesn't see a girl when the look at me.
Which do I believe, the body or the brain?
Going with the brain,  I am FEMALE.
I am only attracted to MEN.
By definition, doesn't that make me straight?

Quote from: Cindy on April 22, 2014, 04:52:45 AM
From an old woman. You find people who want you for who you are and accept you when you are not looking for them.

People are not attracted to the desperate, but to the confident.

You will find your lover one day and he/she will surprise you.

Mainly because lovers are surprising :-*

A somewhat less old woman agrees completely.

Lovers often come at the most unexpected times and from the most unexpected places.

While I'm starting to transition at 34, I kinda knew I liked boys at 20.  I guess not having the right parts didn't help.

I was never sexually attracted to boys or girls growing up.

It sucks, cause the sex I crave is the sex I can't have till after SRS.

Quote from: learningtolive on April 22, 2014, 05:02:38 AM
That's true, but men seem very visually focused.  I feel like I have to be insanely pretty, which I'm not, in order to attract a guy.  Because I'm trans I'm automatically put at a disadvantage when it comes to cis girls and need to almost give him a reason for choosing me over a different girl.  The sad fact is men may love the girl they are with, but they usually find her or give her a chance because of her looks.  It's usually the initial thing they notice and confidence is something I don't have yet.  At this stage, I feel very ugly, and since I'm andro, I will have attracting gay and straight men a like.  I can't help feeling lonely about it because of where I am.   I do get checked out here and there (which makes me feel both nice and creeped out) but I'm just in such a weird uncertain stage looks wise.  Let's face it, dating is hard when you're trans.  then again I haven't tried yet, so maybe I am worrying about nothing.

I met my guy at the gym, he was loading weights onto a machine for me because I was struggling. A coffee, a chat, a friendship. I was positively radiant with sweat running down my face, I'm sure I looked as sexy as ..........................no one.

It will happen Hon.

Thank you for the answers I'm also a straight woman who has only liked men for as long as I can remember

Quote from: Carrie Liz on April 21, 2014, 08:08:25 PM
If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

Well being one of the older folk here I suppose I would have to say I am Bi sexual, but in a sense not really anymore. Sexually I have pretty much lost interest in women. I know once I am further along in my transition I will most likely be seeking a man, so its a toss up I guess.

Quote from: Veronica M on April 22, 2014, 08:20:20 AMWell being one of the older folk here I suppose I would have to say I am Bi sexual, but in a sense not really anymore. Sexually I have pretty much lost interest in women. I know once I am further along in my transition I will most likely be seeking a man, so its a toss up I guess.

I think I feel the same way. I still have the ability to find women attractive, and possibly could sustain a romantic relationship with one, however I wouldn't choose to do so, nor do I think I could have sex with one.

Quote from: Cindy on April 22, 2014, 03:30:32 AM
Societal acceptance of gender and sexual orientation has changed so much, that unless you were living in those times it is incomprehensible about how difficult it was to express yourself. A bit like being homosexual or TG in Uganda nowadays.

Yeah, even for me. A lot different when I was in high school. Nobody was out as gay or lesbian in my high school except one gay math teacher who constantly got crap for it. Gays were still mostly a joke around there.
I think one guy actually admitted being bi and that was like the shock of the century. But he belonged to the goth crowd, so... he was already wearing black lipstick...

Just depends on the time and place. Probably wouldn'tve changed much for me anyway. I can't imagine dating a girl back then. They were like a different species to me, hot but not very nice. lol
I guess it was just as well that I was a lot more comfortable with guys.

I wonder if the comfort level with birth sex and 'target' sex have anything to do with it. Like for me, I had guy friends, dated guys, etc. Girls just really weren't a part of my life unless they were related. I was just really awkward around them and they were just... not nice. To me, anyway.

I wonder if it was like that in reverse for some of the women here? (of course, this probably doesn't work unless you have some attraction to the sex opposite the one you're assigned.)

Interesting...
I've been on the fringes of the theater community, the gay community, been married, and have been trying to discover both gender and sexuality for as long as I remember.  I love men, I love women.  Shoot, I sound like a bi slut which I don't think I am (the slut part).  Anyway right now my testosterone is at undetectable levels and I'm not much interested in much other than casual flirtation.  My endo cut my spiro dose in half, so perhaps libido will return and I'll have to figure this one out.  Not soon I hope.  I have too much work to do becoming me.
Julie

Quote from: Carrie Liz on April 21, 2014, 08:08:25 PM
If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

Well I would never label myself as straight that's just too boring. I'm actually bi my main physical attraction is with men when I see a good looking guy it just sets something off in my brain. But with women it's less of a physical attraction more of an emotional attraction.
And lately I've been more open to dating a woman because I'm friends with a number of lesbians who are in committed relationships. And seeing how lesbian relationships work I've been more open to being in one. Doesn't mean I'll end up in one but let's say I meet a woman who clicks with me at that emotional level I would be willing to go out with her. But I still like men and do picture myself being in a long term relationship with one. (Well a decent one!)
I will also put it out there that recently I've been more open to dating women because I'm more comfortable with the woman I am. Before I was thinking would people think me less of a woman for dating a woman. I'm actually also kinda scared to tell my family after they just gotten used to me being attracted to men. If I do end up say dating a woman I think I'll spring it on them after I get back from surgery. I'm thinking maybe they'll be so happy I'm alive they want mind me having a girlfriend lol.

I like chicks, so I consider my self straight

although in high school when I was in "fake girl mode", I did date a guy to "fit in" and asked him so many questions about his penis because I wanted one lol

Quote from: learningtolive on April 22, 2014, 05:02:38 AM
That's true, but men seem very visually focused.  I feel like I have to be insanely pretty, which I'm not, in order to attract a guy.  Because I'm trans I'm automatically put at a disadvantage when it comes to cis girls and need to almost give him a reason for choosing me over a different girl.  The sad fact is men may love the girl they are with, but they usually find her or give her a chance because of her looks.  It's usually the initial thing they notice and confidence is something I don't have yet.  At this stage, I feel very ugly, and since I'm andro, I will have difficulty attracting gay and straight men a like.  I can't help feeling lonely about it because of where I am.   I do get checked out here and there (which makes me feel both nice and creeped out) but I'm just in such a weird uncertain stage looks wise.  Let's face it, dating is hard when you're trans.  then again I haven't tried yet, so maybe I am worrying about nothing.

There are definitely shallow guys. And for the most part, men do seem visually oriented first (hate to admit, I'm that way too). But if you look around, you'll see a ton of women in relationships who are just average, fat, plain, whatever. It's generally easy for women, pretty much any woman to attract a man. Sure, most men may dream of having the hottest thing out there (not just for him, but because it makes him look good). I won't lie, even as a bi trans guy, I have a fantasy girlfriend ideal.  :laugh: But doesn't mean I'd expect that. And I doubt most guys do either. I really think you'll have no problem.  :)

PS I think you're absolutely adorable and will only improve as you go. I can't imagine you having any problem attracting a man or competing with other girls. But I am trying not to say this kind of thing too much, not to praise a girl's looks too much. Because I think in the end it has a detrimental effect. Makes them feel good at the moment, but just reinforces the relentless focus on a girl's flesh.

Mattie (may I call you Mattie?), you also have so many other attributes to offer. You are very kind, sensitive, and feminine. Any man would be very lucky to have you and I really hope you find one worthy of you someday. And I'm sure you will, honey. Don't worry. Listen to Cindy.  :)

Quote from: Ryan55 on April 22, 2014, 09:20:57 AM
I like chicks, so I consider my self straight

although in high school when I was in "fake girl mode", I did date a guy to "fit in" and asked him so many questions about his penis because I wanted one lol

Did you ask to see it?  :laugh:

I'm strictly straight trans women. I can't even stand ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s despite they 'pretend' to be straight when what they want deep down inside is to touch ur effing d*** that you hate the most. I like ONLY 100% REAL straight men. My friend who is a trans lesbian tried to seduce me once, I felt so disgusted and told her to stop it.  :o And genetic girls neither do not interest me but for friendship everyone is welcome.

Well when I started hrt, I was a lesbian and I transitioned the idea of dating a man stopped grossing me out... i eventually met a man and he became my boyfriend. we went out for about 9 months.. I was a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but as time went on I overcame my uncomfortableness.. I even slept with him.

Now i am post-op and single.. I want to be someones girlfriend again, and maybe even a wife. I really want to experience vaginal sex with a man.. it must be amazing to have him inside me.

but I am also attracted to women, maybe just lust.. i dunno so bi ??

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on April 22, 2014, 09:47:52 AM
I'm strictly straight trans women. I can't even stand ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s despite they 'pretend' to be straight when what they want deep down inside is to touch ur effing d*** that you hate the most. I like ONLY 100% REAL straight men. My friend who is a trans lesbian tried to seduce me once, I felt so disgusted and told her to stop it.  :o And genetic girls neither do not interest me but for friendship everyone is welcome.

We are very much alike. I'm not sure about you but finding a 100% straight man was so difficult. They would say anything to meet & date then go "gay" on me. I threw them out the door. For a while a dated married men some. One's that wanted oral sex that their wife would not give to them. I'm not proud of dating a married man but at least the man was like you say 100% a man. It felt good really & some gave me some so nice anal sex. Good luck, girl friends.

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 09:29:36 AM
There are definitely shallow guys. And for the most part, men do seem visually oriented first (hate to admit, I'm that way too). But if you look around, you'll see a ton of women in relationships who are just average, fat, plain, whatever. It's generally easy for women, pretty much any woman to attract a man. Sure, most men may dream of having the hottest thing out there (not just for him, but because it makes him look good). I won't lie, even as a bi trans guy, I have a fantasy girlfriend ideal.  :laugh: But doesn't mean I'd expect that. And I doubt most guys do either. I really think you'll have no problem.  :)

PS I think you're absolutely adorable and will only improve as you go. I can't imagine you having any problem attracting a man or competing with other girls. But I am trying not to say this kind of thing too much, not to praise a girl's looks too much. Because I think in the end it has a detrimental effect. Makes them feel good at the moment, but just reinforces the relentless focus on a girl's flesh.

Mattie (may I call you Mattie?), you also have so many other attributes to offer. You are very kind, sensitive, and feminine. Any man would be very lucky to have you and I really hope you find one worthy of you someday. And I'm sure you will, honey. Don't worry. Listen to Cindy.  :)

Aww, thank you FA.   Maybe I worry too much, but it's just being trans makes things hard at times.  All girls have to live up to these beauty standards, and for mtfs it gets even more crippling because we are almost expected to pass really well and be beautiful despite the roadblocks.  This is especially true with straight girls that get even more pressure, at least that's how I see it.  Like we have so much more to prove and sadly much of that is done through our looks or it has the expectation to go that way.   I wish it were a little easier and I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I look.  But thank you.  What you said really did cheer me up and made my day. :)

Quote from: learningtolive on April 22, 2014, 10:40:16 AM

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 09:29:36 AM
There are definitely shallow guys. And for the most part, men do seem visually oriented first (hate to admit, I'm that way too). But if you look around, you'll see a ton of women in relationships who are just average, fat, plain, whatever. It's generally easy for women, pretty much any woman to attract a man. Sure, most men may dream of having the hottest thing out there (not just for him, but because it makes him look good). I won't lie, even as a bi trans guy, I have a fantasy girlfriend ideal.  :laugh: But doesn't mean I'd expect that. And I doubt most guys do either. I really think you'll have no problem.  :)

PS I think you're absolutely adorable and will only improve as you go. I can't imagine you having any problem attracting a man or competing with other girls. But I am trying not to say this kind of thing too much, not to praise a girl's looks too much. Because I think in the end it has a detrimental effect. Makes them feel good at the moment, but just reinforces the relentless focus on a girl's flesh.

Mattie (may I call you Mattie?), you also have so many other attributes to offer. You are very kind, sensitive, and feminine. Any man would be very lucky to have you and I really hope you find one worthy of you someday. And I'm sure you will, honey. Don't worry. Listen to Cindy.  :)

Aww, thank you FA.   Maybe I worry too much, but it's just being trans makes things hard at times.  All girls have to live up to these beauty standards, and for mtfs it gets even more crippling because we are almost expected to pass really well and be beautiful despite the roadblocks.  This is especially true with straight girls that get even more pressure, at least that's how I see it.  Like we have so much more to prove and sadly much of that is done through our looks or it has the expectation to go that way.   I wish it were a little easier and I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I look.  But thank you.  What you said really did cheer me up and made my day. :)

Well, if I made you feel a little better, that makes my day too. And straight girls (and to a certain extent, gay men) do get more looks pressure. Not that women don't appreciate or want a good looking partner, but not quite as much as men generally. However, I think the thing a man most wants and needs from a woman is comfort. Often this comes in the form of sex, but also so much more. A woman who knows how to comfort a man and build him up - he will love her. Not only am I a man, I have been with lots of men. I have both been this for men and desired it myself as one. This was Delilah's secret (and yeah, she was probably hot. But she didn't have to be). (And maybe Cleopatra's. After all, she really wasn't a great beauty unlike this clip). A man will love a woman who lifts him up and makes him feel good about himself above one more 'hot' who doesn't do this as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRr862qwz_0

Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 22, 2014, 10:38:13 AM
We are very much alike. I'm not sure about you but finding a 100% straight man was so difficult. They would say anything to meet & date then go "gay" on me. I threw them out the door. For a while a dated married men some. One's that wanted oral sex that their wife would not give to them. I'm not proud of dating a married man but at least the man was like you say 100% a man. It felt good really & some gave me some so nice anal sex. Good luck, girl friends.

To get it more extreme about my 'heterosexuality', sometimes I wouldn't like if a straight guy accepts me so easily knowing I am trans. I like the transphobic and super duper straight guys WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM and who I know in advance would reject me if they knew I am trans. IT GIVES ME MORE THRILL & EXCITEMENT! Only then I feel like a REAL woman and this feeds my soul so much I swear.  >:-)

There are different 'degrees' of straight guys most commonly the liberal ones who wouldnt mind dating and trans and the other traditional strict ones who'd never date a trans no matter how beautiful and passable she is DESPITE operated SRS. It's this type of straight guys I love hitting on.  >:-)

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on April 22, 2014, 11:37:09 AM

Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 22, 2014, 10:38:13 AM
We are very much alike. I'm not sure about you but finding a 100% straight man was so difficult. They would say anything to meet & date then go "gay" on me. I threw them out the door. For a while a dated married men some. One's that wanted oral sex that their wife would not give to them. I'm not proud of dating a married man but at least the man was like you say 100% a man. It felt good really & some gave me some so nice anal sex. Good luck, girl friends.

To get it more extreme about my 'heterosexuality', sometimes I wouldn't like if a straight guy accepts me so easily knowing I am trans. I like the transphobic and super duper straight guys WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM and who I know in advance would reject me if they knew I am trans. IT GIVES ME MORE THRILL & EXCITEMENT! Only then I feel like a REAL woman and this feeds my soul so much I swear.  >:-)

There are different 'degrees' of straight guys most commonly the liberal ones who wouldnt mind dating and trans and the other traditional strict ones who'd never date a trans no matter how beautiful and passable she is DESPITE operated SRS. It's this type of straight guys I love hitting on.  >:-)

<sigh> I really worry for your safety hon. But that's another thread.

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 08:33:47 AM
Yeah, even for me. A lot different when I was in high school. Nobody was out as gay or lesbian in my high school except one gay math teacher who constantly got crap for it. Gays were still mostly a joke around there.
I think one guy actually admitted being bi and that was like the shock of the century. But he belonged to the goth crowd, so... he was already wearing black lipstick...

Just depends on the time and place. Probably wouldn'tve changed much for me anyway. I can't imagine dating a girl back then. They were like a different species to me, hot but not very nice. lol
I guess it was just as well that I was a lot more comfortable with guys.

I wonder if the comfort level with birth sex and 'target' sex have anything to do with it. Like for me, I had guy friends, dated guys, etc. Girls just really weren't a part of my life unless they were related. I was just really awkward around them and they were just... not nice. To me, anyway.

I wonder if it was like that in reverse for some of the women here? (of course, this probably doesn't work unless you have some attraction to the sex opposite the one you're assigned.)

Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on April 22, 2014, 11:37:09 AM
To get it more extreme about my 'heterosexuality', sometimes I wouldn't like if a straight guy accepts me so easily knowing I am trans. I like the transphobic and super duper straight guys WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM and who I know in advance would reject me if they knew I am trans. IT GIVES ME MORE THRILL & EXCITEMENT! Only then I feel like a REAL woman and this feeds my soul so much I swear.  >:-)

There are different 'degrees' of straight guys most commonly the liberal ones who wouldnt mind dating and trans and the other traditional strict ones who'd never date a trans no matter how beautiful and passable she is DESPITE operated SRS. It's this type of straight guys I love hitting on.  >:-)

You want the perfect man, good for you GF. You deserve only the best. Don't let him break your heart when you fall madly in love with him. I want invited to the wedding as a bridesmate.

Quote from: sad panda on April 22, 2014, 12:20:37 PM

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 08:33:47 AM
Yeah, even for me. A lot different when I was in high school. Nobody was out as gay or lesbian in my high school except one gay math teacher who constantly got crap for it. Gays were still mostly a joke around there.
I think one guy actually admitted being bi and that was like the shock of the century. But he belonged to the goth crowd, so... he was already wearing black lipstick...

Just depends on the time and place. Probably wouldn'tve changed much for me anyway. I can't imagine dating a girl back then. They were like a different species to me, hot but not very nice. lol
I guess it was just as well that I was a lot more comfortable with guys.

I wonder if the comfort level with birth sex and 'target' sex have anything to do with it. Like for me, I had guy friends, dated guys, etc. Girls just really weren't a part of my life unless they were related. I was just really awkward around them and they were just... not nice. To me, anyway.

I wonder if it was like that in reverse for some of the women here? (of course, this probably doesn't work unless you have some attraction to the sex opposite the one you're assigned.)

Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.

Yeah, I think some people are just wired strictly for one sex. My mother's that way. Lots of people are that way. For people who aren't and especially for trans people with all the gender roles and stuff, it can be a bit more muddied. Like for me, my first crush at 7 was on a girl. When I first had sexual feelings and started to masturbate (sorry, maybe TMI), it was to women. I wasn't attracted to boys until later, and I really think I'd have been pretty much straight as a cis guy. But puberty happened, and boys were an option. It was expected. Though, if I had been strictly into girls, I doubt that would have swayed me.

Quote from: Cindy on April 22, 2014, 03:25:00 AM

Of course I need to add, that when I was a teen homosexuality was illegal where I was. You were sent to gaol, a male gaol >:(

Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 12:40:44 PM
Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.


Yeah, I think some people are just wired strictly for one sex. My mother's that way. Lots of people are that way. For people who aren't and especially for trans people with all the gender roles and stuff, it can be a bit more muddied. Like for me, my first crush at 7 was on a girl. When I first had sexual feelings and started to masturbate (sorry, maybe TMI), it was to women. I wasn't attracted to boys until later, and I really think I'd have been pretty much straight as a cis guy. But puberty happened, and boys were an option. It was expected. Though, if I had been strictly into girls, I doubt that would have swayed me.

.

Uh huh I think since I have dealt with all that gender stuff and don't struggle with any homophobia or whatever but still couldnt get into girls, I realized that for me its about role preference... I mean hotness helps but primarily my attraction to people is a lot more complex and I can't get whatever that is out of a girl. I just can't picture myself in any other way, it wouldn't be stimulating, it would feel like dating my sister or something, just really weird and off.

Quote from: Carlita on April 22, 2014, 01:03:23 PM
Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Maybe since you actually like women, that is projective identification and you are actually fantasizing about what you would like in a girl, availability, and being the girl in that picture gives an element of control. What do you think?

Quote from: sad panda on April 22, 2014, 01:26:57 PM

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 12:40:44 PM
Hmmm that wasn't my experience but then I was not bi. I liked men even though as a whole I have always been pretty afraid of them. And it felt really weird when girls would flirt. So yeah, if I had liked them like guys I guess stuff would have happened just bc of closeness.


Yeah, I think some people are just wired strictly for one sex. My mother's that way. Lots of people are that way. For people who aren't and especially for trans people with all the gender roles and stuff, it can be a bit more muddied. Like for me, my first crush at 7 was on a girl. When I first had sexual feelings and started to masturbate (sorry, maybe TMI), it was to women. I wasn't attracted to boys until later, and I really think I'd have been pretty much straight as a cis guy. But puberty happened, and boys were an option. It was expected. Though, if I had been strictly into girls, I doubt that would have swayed me.

.

Uh huh I think since I have dealt with all that gender stuff and don't struggle with any homophobia or whatever but still couldnt get into girls, I realized that for me its about role preference... I mean hotness helps but primarily my attraction to people is a lot more complex and I can't get whatever that is out of a girl. I just can't picture myself in any other way, it wouldn't be stimulating, it would feel like dating my sister or something, just really weird and off.

Yeah, I think role preferences play a big part, especially for trans people. Like for me, a guy had to be around my height or shorter for me to feel any attraction. And non dominant. A guy showing masculinity or cockiness was only acceptable if smaller than me. The bigger a guy was, the more of a wuss he had to be. For me, anyway. Uh, unless of course he was like 40 and well off.  :P Then he was allowed to be tall. Still, the relationship and sex had to go down a certain way.

So, in a different way, roles were important to me. Any guy who tried to make me feel like a woman (or just did by virtue of his size or personality), not happening. Though, I didn't care as much if it was a sugar daddy.  :P

Quote from: Carlita on April 22, 2014, 01:03:23 PM
Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.

Quote from: Heather on April 22, 2014, 02:22:23 PM

Quote from: Carlita on April 22, 2014, 01:03:23 PM
Irony, much??!!

I'm still living as a man, still (just, but not for much longer) married to a woman. Never had anything but female partners. Never wanted to have sex with a man as long as I was a man too.

BUT ... I've never, ever had any kind of sexual fantasy except that of being a woman, making love to a man. For me, straight sex - when I could handle it - was the next best thing, though I always felt jealous of the women I was with, which is hardly very fair on them.

What I should be is a straight woman. Does that count?!

Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.

Hmm Not directed to me, but interesting question. I've had crushes, I've been intimate with women, but I have never had serious feelings for a woman (beyond friendship). Could love ever develop? I really don't know. I don't fall easy, and the very few I have have been male. I think that I desire women both on a sexual and a friendship level. On an actual relationship level? I don't know. I really like the idea. But could I ever even get that close to a woman in real life to fall in love with her? I really don't know.

I'm into men and only men. I've tried women but was disgusted with it every time.

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 03:29:14 PM
Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.


Hmm Not directed to me, but interesting question. I've had crushes, I've been intimate with women, but I have never had serious feelings for a woman (beyond friendship). Could love ever develop? I really don't know. I don't fall easy, and the very few I have have been male. I think that I desire women both on a sexual and a friendship level. On an actual relationship level? I don't know. I really like the idea. But could I ever even get that close to a woman in real life to fall in love with her? I really don't know.

Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?

Quote from: Heather on April 22, 2014, 03:38:08 PM

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 03:29:14 PM
Are you sure you like men or do you like the idea of being a straight woman? Have you ever gone out of your way to talk to a man because you thought he was cute? Have you fallen in love with a man because you see there is something special about him that goes way beyond a physical attraction? A fantasy is just that a fantasy if your really into men it will go way beyond fantasy I promise.


Hmm Not directed to me, but interesting question. I've had crushes, I've been intimate with women, but I have never had serious feelings for a woman (beyond friendship). Could love ever develop? I really don't know. I don't fall easy, and the very few I have have been male. I think that I desire women both on a sexual and a friendship level. On an actual relationship level? I don't know. I really like the idea. But could I ever even get that close to a woman in real life to fall in love with her? I really don't know.

Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?

Hmm Well, have you ever had serious feelings for a woman? Were you ever married to a woman (I ask, because that indicates some level of seriousness even if the match wasn't great)?

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 03:46:37 PM
Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?


Hmm Well, have you ever had serious feelings for a woman? Were you ever married to a woman (I ask, because that indicates some level of seriousness even if the match wasn't great)?

Well there was one girl when I was a kid I really liked. But I was too girlie for her taste. And I've never been married before. And I must also say I have had a crush on a trans woman I know so I can be into women it doesn't happen often but I can.

I've always found the only attracted to men as a woman thing tad confusing.  I want the social roles of a female in a relationship and all, so I get that, but I've always been attracted to men regardless.  Like even if I'm not interested in being a "boy friend" and want a certain romantic role, I still like what I like.  That doesn't change.  In a way, I wish my sexuality were more fluid like that because I feel things will be hard with men and probably would be easier with females.  As for girls, I think there are many beautiful women out there that I respect and/or admire, but I'm not attracted either physically or romantically.  To be honest, the idea of dating a girl makes me feel really uncomfortable and awkward.  It just feels wrong.  And I'm a very big supportive of the LGB part of our community, it's just not for me.

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 11:03:56 AM
Aww, thank you FA.   Maybe I worry too much, but it's just being trans makes things hard at times.  All girls have to live up to these beauty standards, and for mtfs it gets even more crippling because we are almost expected to pass really well and be beautiful despite the roadblocks.  This is especially true with straight girls that get even more pressure, at least that's how I see it.  Like we have so much more to prove and sadly much of that is done through our looks or it has the expectation to go that way.   I wish it were a little easier and I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I look.  But thank you.  What you said really did cheer me up and made my day. :)


Well, if I made you feel a little better, that makes my day too. And straight girls (and to a certain extent, gay men) do get more looks pressure. Not that women don't appreciate or want a good looking partner, but not quite as much as men generally. However, I think the thing a man most wants and needs from a woman is comfort. Often this comes in the form of sex, but also so much more. A woman who knows how to comfort a man and build him up - he will love her. Not only am I a man, I have been with lots of men. I have both been this for men and desired it myself as one. This was Delilah's secret (and yeah, she was probably hot. But she didn't have to be). (And maybe Cleopatra's. After all, she really wasn't a great beauty unlike this clip). A man will love a woman who lifts him up and makes him feel good about himself above one more 'hot' who doesn't do this as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRr862qwz_0

Oh, I know there is more than looks.  It's just usually the thing that straight men measure a transwoman with before he would consider dating one.  Sucks it's like that, but I've noticed that's common.   In any case,  I don't have much going in the other departments either, lol.  I'm sort of an emotional wreck and can be clingy which last I checked those are not the most attractive qualities.  Still, like most things in my life, I'm probably just being overly cynical. I'm not giving up hope and am excited about one day dating even though I'm scared of rejection, safety issues and dealing with potential perves and ->-bleeped-<-s.  I still don't have the direct experience, so I will have to see when I get the nerve to enter the dating world and hold off judgement unitl then.

God I can't wait to stop being so scared and to finally open myself up to dating.  Though I should wait till I got full time, since it kind of complicates things. 

Quote from: Heather on April 22, 2014, 03:53:30 PM

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 03:46:37 PM
Whats funny I ask the same thing about women too. I wonder do I just think about dating women because most men scare me? I'm attracted to men no doubt but a lot of them frighten me. Maybe I've been looking to a relationship with women lately because I have this fear of men?


Hmm Well, have you ever had serious feelings for a woman? Were you ever married to a woman (I ask, because that indicates some level of seriousness even if the match wasn't great)?

Well there was one girl when I was a kid I really liked. But I was too girlie for her taste. And I've never been married before. And I must also say I have had a crush on a trans woman I know so I can be into women it doesn't happen often but I can.

Yeah, this sexuality thing is kinda weird. Especially for a trans person.

My sexuality has always been unclear for me. I like this girl when I was 12 ish, but it didn't work out. When I was 13 (arround the same time I knew that I was girl). I had this crush on my best friend, but as I coudn't see myself as a boy with him so I denied all my feelings. The boys in my high school were ugly so I really had no attraction at all to one. There was this one girl who I did like, but she wanted a more manly man. At college I had this crush on this masculine girl, but same there, not manly enough.

When I finaly came to terms with being trans* I figured out that I really like men and basically always did. Then about 1 month ago I started to think "why did I like girls?". Woman/girls are much more beautifuller (averidged) and I love looking at them more then men, but I find men more attractive both in how they act and just their being. .

I think I might be straight (as I feel more attracted to men), but I as I can also like women (and did so in the past).
So i'm not sure if I'm straight or bi. So straight is the safest bet for me, as I don't know 100% sure if I like women, but because I do know that I like men I can atleast say I'm straight.

Quote from: FA on April 22, 2014, 05:03:45 PM
Yeah, this sexuality thing is kinda weird. Especially for a trans person.

I don't get hung up on labels anymore.  I tried so hard to make the "I'm a straight cisguy." label stick for so long that I almost actually believed it.  I'd see attractive guys all the time, and I thought it was OK to recognize that much, but that's where I drew the line.  I know many gay guys, and I always knew that wasn't right for me.  I never wanted anal, top or bottom and I've never given a BJ.  In fact, I never was really into getting one either.  I will admit to drunkenly kissing a couple of my straight cisguy friends in college.  Sadly, both of them died shortly thereafter in separate accidents and I have never kissed another guy since because I thought I might actually be cursed or something.

After finally coming to the conclusion that I am actually a woman, I have allowed myself to fully process the whole sexuality angle.  The fact is that if I was actually packing a vajayjay, I would want it penetrated hard and often.  A cisguy would certainly work for me, as would a transguy.   I could probably get myself to give oral as well if I thought he really wanted it and would appreciate it.   Hell, I could probably make it work with another transchick, although right now I'm sort of asexual or umm, autosexual because PIV sex "got weird".  I don't want to penetrate anyone anywhere anyway. 

I still think ciswomen are awesome though, and I still am very much attracted to my wife.  I actually always enjoyed going down on her and feel the happy warm fuzzies when I ring her bell.  My wife is actually, now that I think of it, quite androgynous.   She is beautiful in a conventional sense (sort of looks like Kathleen Turner), but she is large, carries herself like a dude and probably has a bit more T in her system than most cisgirls do.  What can I say, I think androgyny is sexy as hell.  Also, the guys I tend to find attractive are not super dudely macho dudes (that can be a turn off).  I think Jared Leto and Dave Navarro are HOT, as are some other rocker guys.  I've looked both Jared and Dave in the eyes in person, and I melted a bit inside each time.  Daaamn, what is it about guyliner?  My wife was right.

So I guess I'm really an "anything goes" kinda girl.  I know I probably sound like a broken record by now, but once you're trans, you're already beyond queer anyway.  Who cares about labels anymore?  If I like someone for whatever reason, I don't worry about whether that's "OK" or not.  I just smile.

I love humans with certain characteristics: hygienically correct, sense of humor, sophisticated, educated, respectful, adaptable, resilient, honest, sensual, tolerant, bon vivant, dancers, dreamers, creators, driven, ,,,

Tall, blue eyes, and blond, with soft skin, and athletic is a plus....

chronological age, gender identity, sexual orientation... not important at all

Just your average, run-of-the-mill 21 year old heterosexual girl here. Never had any relationships prior to transition, won't until after SRS, it's just not comfortable for me, as-is. Why? Well, I am female, and female does not equate to male in a relationship. Simple!

I think I might be bi. Sorry , not straight. Some guys are so hot. I have never been with a male. I wonder how the fantasy compares to reality. I am getting less attracted to females. I wish I knew and could figure myself out.

I'm pretty much bisexual, but I have a stronger sexual preference for women.

I'm 100,000,000% straight

Like someone else said men make me feel a way a woman never could.

I dated guys growing up pre-transition and now. For me it's a no brainer, It's all about balance and opposites. I need that masculine energy to feed who I am as a person and a woman. I will admit I had light crushes on certain girls when I was in school but never acted on them. I tried but it was laughable just the thought of me being with a female when all I wanted was their shoes and hair styles lol.

What I've noticed here, and I've had this explained to me by a few other posters, is that most lesbians were or are married. And because they grew up in a time where they felt the pressure to just be a guy that's all they knew was to be with a woman. I makes you wonder though were they just lesbian because of their circumstances, or would they be straight had they grew up in a different time??

Quote from: Janae on April 23, 2014, 02:53:22 PM
What I've noticed here, and I've had this explained to me by a few other posters, is that most lesbians were or are married.... I makes you wonder though were they just lesbian because of their circumstances, or would they be straight had they grew up in a different time??

Sexually I'm bisexual, emotionally I could never have a relationship with a man. I can be friends with them but derive no emotional comfort from them. This is defining "man" entirely from the brain and behavior perspective. A macho man or a butch lesbian would both be hard for me to trust.

Dee

Quote from: Janae on April 23, 2014, 02:53:22 PM
What I've noticed here, and I've had this explained to me by a few other posters, is that most lesbians were or are married. And because they grew up in a time where they felt the pressure to just be a guy that's all they knew was to be with a woman. I makes you wonder though were they just lesbian because of their circumstances, or would they be straight had they grew up in a different time??

That's a really interesting question.  From what I see, there is a age gap between those that are straight and lesbian.  While this is a generilization that doesn't apply to everyone, I have noticed that those under 30 when they start tend to either be straight or bi and those over 30 when they transition are more likely bi or lesbians.  And it seems to be the case regardless of the time or era that they transitioned. Maybe society plays a role and people feel forced to date against their own preferences; however, that seems weird to me.  Like I could understand the pressure for a "guy" to be with a woman, but even if one was pressured could that really make someone attracted to them or influence their overall orientation? I really doubt that.  It seems like most who got married love their partner and are attracted to them too rather than not.  I think it's probably more that sexuality is so diverse and there are many lesbians in the trans community.  In any case, gay, straight bi or whatever, it's really not important as sexuality shouldn't be as big of a deal as everyone else in the world makes it.

My sexuality seems to be all over the place these days.
Sometimes I think I'm gay and then boom I get a boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend now and it's gonna stay that way for the foreseeable future

Quote from: GorJess on April 23, 2014, 12:04:07 AM
Just your average, run-of-the-mill 21 year old heterosexual girl here. Never had any relationships prior to transition, won't until after SRS, it's just not comfortable for me, as-is. Why? Well, I am female, and female does not equate to male in a relationship. Simple!

Good for you young girl. You are smart. It is emotionally a terrible strain being with a man before GRS. So complicated & stressful.

In my case I would say I'm straight but I'm attracted by a very few women :)

I just don't like scratchy beards or body hair. Boys are icky.  ^-^

Quote from: JamesG on April 23, 2014, 10:51:58 PM
I just don't like scratchy beards or body hair. Boys are icky.  ^-^

Lol... Their not so bad... But some are icky if they don't take care of themselves... Then yes... defiantly icky...

my sexuality is somewhat hard to explain, usually I just call myself bi to keep it simple.

but its more like straight because I can be sexually attracted to women and men, but I need a man in a relationship. before two days ago when I started HRT I was more likely to lust over women but now I really have no desire to be with one other than curiosity being as I have never been with one sexually.

I've been in a monogamous relationship with my man for 19 months now and I'm VERY attracted to him sexually. He's strictly straight, doesn't touch my frontal area and wants me to get SRS when I can, although if I never got it it wouldn't end our relationship. He isn't hairy, though he has some chest hair. I love to lie my head on his warm chest after we make love and listen to his heartbeat. Someone said they don't like guys with facial hair and I only do with him and his once in awhile 'forgot to shave' kisses. The most intense, sensual and sexually wonderful feelings I've ever experienced is being under him in the 'missionary position' and being kissed by him, because it all heightens the knowledge we're in love with each other. I can hardly wait though, to finally get SRS, because I've fantasized for more than 45 years that I have a vagina, but until the time comes when I can actually get it, I'll happily make do with what I have!                           

Quote from: sad panda on April 22, 2014, 01:35:26 PM
Maybe since you actually like women, that is projective identification and you are actually fantasizing about what you would like in a girl, availability, and being the girl in that picture gives an element of control. What do you think?

Well, that's an interesting question. What you're saying is pretty much what therapists would tell me when I went to them, a million years ago, describing how I felt. They said it was just a fantasy, or a projection, or a phase, or whatever. Meanwhile it became harder and harder (well, actually, softer and softer!!) for me to have sex with women. And it's also the case that four or five times in my life I've met a guy - just in passing - and had an instant, omigod, heart-pounding, tummy-flipping, instant reaction to them, on a completely unconscious, animal level.

But for whatever reason, I never, ever had any desire to have sex with a man, as long as I was a man. And the dysphoria never, ever went away.

I think it makes more sense than you might imagine. I have a friend who was born a cis-female. 'She' was a lesbian, who only ever had relationships with other women. Then 'she' transitioned. Now that he is a man, does he still have relationships with women? No. He's a gay man.

The point is, sexuality and gender are two different things. My friend is gay. Irrespective of her/his gender presentation, (s)he has always liked to have sex with the same sex.

In my case, I have always seen heterosex, as the closest thing I can get to what I want, because there's a woman in the bed, even if I can't, in physical terms, be her.

Another gay, male friend once said to me that he couldn't understand the concept of lesbian sex because, "I can't imagine having sex without at least one cock in the bed."

Well, I want at least one vagina. And if it can't be mine ...

As for the idea that it's all just fantasy ... Honestly, hon, I came to terms with the fact that it wasn't just fantasy years  ago. Nor is it suppressed homosexuality. I'm trans. I know I'm trans. If you asked my incredibly experienced gender therapist about me, she'd say, "Yes, she's trans."

Circumstances which would seem bizarre to you, I'm sure, but which would make perfect sense to other people of my age, with similar experiences, have prevented me expressing my trans identity in my life. Or maybe I've been able to get by well enough as a man, and been rewarded highly enough to make transition seem too risky until now.

But I'm trans. I promise!

Quote from: Carlita on April 25, 2014, 09:15:54 AM
Well, that's an interesting question. What you're saying is pretty much what therapists would tell me when I went to them, a million years ago, describing how I felt. They said it was just a fantasy, or a projection, or a phase, or whatever. Meanwhile it became harder and harder (well, actually, softer and softer!!) for me to have sex with women. And it's also the case that four or five times in my life I've met a guy - just in passing - and had an instant, omigod, heart-pounding, tummy-flipping, instant reaction to them, on a completely unconscious, animal level.

But for whatever reason, I never, ever had any desire to have sex with a man, as long as I was a man. And the dysphoria never, ever went away.

I think it makes more sense than you might imagine. I have a friend who was born a cis-female. 'She' was a lesbian, who only ever had relationships with other women. Then 'she' transitioned. Now that he is a man, does he still have relationships with women? No. He's a gay man.

The point is, sexuality and gender are two different things. My friend is gay. Irrespective of her/his gender presentation, (s)he has always liked to have sex with the same sex.

In my case, I have always seen heterosex, as the closest thing I can get to what I want, because there's a woman in the bed, even if I can't, in physical terms, be her.

Another gay, male friend once said to me that he couldn't understand the concept of lesbian sex because, "I can't imagine having sex without at least one cock in the bed."

Well, I want at least one vagina. And if it can't be mine ...

As for the idea that it's all just fantasy ... Honestly, hon, I came to terms with the fact that it wasn't just fantasy years  ago. Nor is it suppressed homosexuality. I'm trans. I know I'm trans. If you asked my incredibly experienced gender therapist about me, she'd say, "Yes, she's trans."

Circumstances which would seem bizarre to you, I'm sure, but which would make perfect sense to other people of my age, with similar experiences, have prevented me expressing my trans identity in my life. Or maybe I've been able to get by well enough as a man, and been rewarded highly enough to make transition seem too risky until now.

But I'm trans. I promise!

Sorry... i wasn't calling you not trans! There's no requirements for being trans... I just meant, I thought it was interesting that you fantasized about being someone with a different orientation than what you actually wanted. I always got the idea you can't change who you are physically attracted to. But, if you think it is just the way you express an attraction to men, then there's nothing wrong with that. :)

Quote from: JamesG on April 23, 2014, 10:51:58 PM
I just don't like scratchy beards or body hair. Boys are icky.  ^-^

They maybe icky for you but I love em! ;) And while I don't find full beards sexy I do find that a man with stubble to be the sexiest thing ever! Oh and muscles too I love muscles!  ;D

Quote from: sad panda on April 25, 2014, 09:44:30 AM
Sorry... i wasn't calling you not trans! There's no requirements for being trans... I just meant, I thought it was interesting that you fantasized about being someone with a different orientation than what you actually wanted. I always got the idea you can't change who you are physically attracted to. But, if you think it is just the way you express an attraction to men, then there's nothing wrong with that. :)

Cool!

Quote from: Heather on April 25, 2014, 09:45:37 AM
They maybe icky for you but I love em! ;) And while I don't find full beards sexy I do find that a man with stubble to be the sexiest thing ever! Oh and muscles too I love muscles!  ;D

I've always thought I was weird or different for liking facial hair the way I do.  A lot of girls I know aren't into it or like guys clean shaven, but I've never found a man out there that doesn't look better with a little stubble.  I even like full beards if they are maintained, but it depends on the perosn. I don't know, I'm wondering if we are the outliers here of if it's more common than I thought.

Quote from: learningtolive on April 25, 2014, 01:50:06 PM
I've always thought I was weird or different for liking facial hair the way I do.  A lot of girls I know aren't into it or like guys clean shaven, but I've never found a man out there that doesn't look better with a little stubble.  I even like full beards if they are maintained, but it depends on the perosn. I don't know, I'm wondering if we are the outliers here of if it's more common than I thought.

I can find clean shaven guys sexy too but I've been trying to figure out why I find stubble so sexy. I think it me because it shows that a man cares about his looks but not too much. But really I don't know why but I do find it sexy and I'm alright with that. ;D

For whatever it may be worth, I started transition at age 19 in the early 1970s and have been madly & exclusively attracted to men my entire life.  I have had only two intimate physical encounters with women.  Once in 1973 I got falling down drunk during a night of bar hopping and woke up the next day in bed with a neighborhood floozy I knew who claimed she tried unsuccessfully to "have her way with me".  Then in 1978 I was seduced by another pre-op transgal but we mostly just made out. 

To each their own but a scratchy faced beast with strong arms and a crooked smile gets my motor running every time!

Carol (over the hill, but not dead...)

Quote from: learningtolive on April 25, 2014, 01:50:06 PM
I've always thought I was weird or different for liking facial hair the way I do.  A lot of girls I know aren't into it or like guys clean shaven, but I've never found a man out there that doesn't look better with a little stubble.  I even like full beards if they are maintained, but it depends on the perosn. I don't know, I'm wondering if we are the outliers here of if it's more common than I thought.

Derailing the thread.

Beards look good on some guys and doesn't on others.

Does anyone happen to know about any research papers or statistics on this issue. Especially interesting would be data on who people end up with say a decade after transitioning and what their original orientation was before and during their transition.

In my former life, I was married twice, 2 different women and numerous relationships with women, but for some reason it never worked out and I couldnt understand why. I never saw men in a way that I would ever consider a relationship with them or be attracted to them, so, I was for all intents and purposes a hetro male.

Amazingly after beginning HRT, and in time it began working its magic on my brain, my focus shifted to men, which initially shocked me. As time passed, i simply allowed it to happen and things became clearer, I started to understand my relationships better, and my position in them.
Today I am a hetro woman, in an amazing relationship with an amazing man, and it all works right and naturally for the first time. Im in the middle age spectrum.

On the topic of beards, well, when he caresses the small of my back with his lips and that prickly stubble does its magic!  . . . Oh boy! Ill leave the rest up to your imagination!

Quote from: Flygirl on April 26, 2014, 06:22:54 AM

Amazingly after beginning HRT, and in time it began working its magic on my brain, my focus shifted to men, which initially shocked me. As time passed, i simply allowed it to happen and things became clearer, I started to understand my relationships better, and my position in them.
Today I am a hetro woman, in an amazing relationship with an amazing man, and it all works right and naturally for the first time. Im in the middle age spectrum.

On the topic of beards, well, when he caresses the small of my back with his lips and that prickly stubble does its magic!  . . . Oh boy! Ill leave the rest up to your imagination!

My situation is very similar, HRT changed everything, my attraction turning to men was a little scary at first, but got better when I had my SRS surgery, I'm now a completely hetro straight woman, married to a wonderful man who is a very supportive husband to me, I'm a fulltime housewife, life is very ordinary.

straight in what contex? lol. straight as in guy liking straight? lol

If any women want a man there are plenty out there. I reopened a profile on TSDating & so many men have replied.

Good luck GF's.

Me, I'm straight as an arrow. I've never done anything with a female ever,nor do I want to. There was a time when I was younger that I tried to force myself to not be 'gay' (as a boy) and it was pretty traumatic tbh

well i think i can consider myself straight seeing as i figured out i have no sexual attraction to women what so ever o.o kinda in denial though but its what it is. wait, i'm not on hrt as of yet so doesnt that make me bi  ???

I'm straight.

-AM

Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 06, 2014, 06:16:29 PM
well i think i can consider myself straight seeing as i figured out i have no sexual attraction to women what so ever o.o kinda in denial though but its what it is. wait, i'm not on hrt as of yet so doesnt that make me bi  ???

Haha, no xD bi means you're attracted to both genders. It has nothing to do with *your* gender. You'd be straight because you're a girl who likes guys. No HRT necessary to be yourself ;)

But then again, labels aren't necessary. I say straight in this context, because it's easier but my genders complicated so the labels are, too. I like guys,  no need to add to label it!

Quote from: Abbyxo on May 06, 2014, 06:41:39 PM
Haha, no xD bi means you're attracted to both genders. It has nothing to do with *your* gender. You'd be straight because you're a girl who likes guys. No HRT necessary to be yourself ;)

But then again, labels aren't necessary. I say straight in this context, because it's easier but my genders complicated so the labels are, too. I like guys,  no need to add to label it!

so i'm straight. haha! FINALLY AN ANSWER! cant tell you how much trouble i've caused my poor brain over this debate xD wait, i'm attracted to trans women to though o.o

Tl;dr: Probably very straight, slightly confused, but not caring about being confused, for now.

Quote from: Flygirl on April 26, 2014, 06:22:54 AM
In my former life, I was married twice, 2 different women and numerous relationships with women, but for some reason it never worked out and I couldnt understand why. I never saw men in a way that I would ever consider a relationship with them or be attracted to them, so, I was for all intents and purposes a hetro male.

Amazingly after beginning HRT, and in time it began working its magic on my brain, my focus shifted to men, which initially shocked me. As time passed, i simply allowed it to happen and things became clearer, I started to understand my relationships better, and my position in them.
Today I am a hetro woman, in an amazing relationship with an amazing man, and it all works right and naturally for the first time. Im in the middle age spectrum.

On the topic of beards, well, when he caresses the small of my back with his lips and that prickly stubble does its magic!  . . . Oh boy! Ill leave the rest up to your imagination!

HRT did it for me.   I had been with women, but never worked out.  Never really paid attention to men until after HRT.  Now I can spot a hunk a mile away, and some men smell amazing. 

still nobody who feels that hrt made her more attracted to girls?

i dont think its HRT. i think its that hidden feeling. maybe HRT just awakened those feelings. just a theory looking at my current standings and i'm as pre as you can get xD

HRT made me realize how much I like men.  If I'm at a bar I get hit on frequently by lesbian couples. I find that amusing.

Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 06, 2014, 08:21:15 PM
i dont think its HRT. i think its that hidden feeling. maybe HRT just awakened those feelings. just a theory looking at my current standings and i'm as pre as you can get xD

maybe , maybe being more free and calm made me realise my true feelings?

still im not a lesbian , at least not always my sexuality is fluid

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on May 06, 2014, 08:30:39 PM
maybe , maybe being more free and calm made me realise my true feelings?

still im not a lesbian , at least not always my sexuality is fluid

i go back and forth but i have no sexual attraction to women. i use to though but not any more which is sorta weird  :-\

Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 06, 2014, 08:33:01 PM
i go back and forth but i have no sexual attraction to women. i use to though but not any more which is sorta weird  :-\

meh you never know  , these things change anyways

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on May 06, 2014, 09:03:35 PM
meh you never know  , these things change anyways

i guess but you cant argue with psychological phenomenon lol. 

Well, even though i've been married to my wife for roughly 11 years, and we still have the same level of attraction for each other, we have both talked about this many times.

The conclusion? We're both 99% straight. As in literally only lesbian for each other....we just can't see ourselves with another female beyond each other. Plus, boys are just yummy!  ;D

HAHAHA! i cant with you girls anymore xD to funny xD anyways, though it looks like i'm straight, i'm still highly confused. i'd have to see if my attraction changes when i get on HRT