Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sorry for the additional thread, but I wanted to get a sense of where I am and where I really should be in the grand scheme of things.  I'm sort of feeling like a total loser for not getting to where I want to be at the moment and it's kind of making me feel more miserable than ever.  Guessing the recent unemployment just added to my free time and allowed me to focus even more on my problems and sad excuse of a life, lol.

Anyway, the point of this thread is to highlight how long it took you to go full time from where you started your transition and hrt.  Like when did you start really going out there and living as your identified gender.  Just interested in other peoples general time line.  Hoping that will either make me feel better or provide me a rude awakening of some sort.  Thanks, it's appreciated.

It's hard to say. First time around, 2 months in I started passing and I jst rolled with it, but I wasn't really 'fulltime' (which is honestly a silly concept) because I wasn't actively presenting female.

This time around it was 2 months that I just started being female in every corner of my life. I restarted hormones and hair growth in Nov and by Dec I was passing and Jan I was completely presenting female I'm now about 5 and half months in.

But yeah transition goes fast for me. Which can be overwhelming. Make sure you have clothes. And makeup and stuff. I just realized how much I've collected in the last months. All of a sudden I really appreciate my family haha, they've helped me out as much as they can this time around

Less than 6 months for me.. But my attitude to things is different to most.

Started HRT & electrolysis in January 1990,went full time end of September 1991

Quote from: Abbyxo on April 26, 2014, 06:32:15 AM
It's hard to say. First time around, 2 months in I started passing and I jst rolled with it, but I wasn't really 'fulltime' (which is honestly a silly concept) because I wasn't actively presenting female.

This time around it was 2 months that I just started being female in every corner of my life. I restarted hormones and hair growth in Nov and by Dec I was passing and Jan I was completely presenting female I'm now about 5 and half months in.

But yeah transition goes fast for me. Which can be overwhelming. Make sure you have clothes. And makeup and stuff. I just realized how much I've collected in the last months. All of a sudden I really appreciate my family haha, they've helped me out as much as they can this time around

Hey Abby,

Yeah you went pretty quick and all.  Much more than I could handle as I'm still andro even after being on hormones longer than you.  But I'm glad it's going well for you and hope things are going good in general. 

Quote from: kelly_aus on April 26, 2014, 06:44:28 AM
Less than 6 months for me.. But my attitude to things is different to most.

I think it's awesome that you were able to do it so early, but yeah, I'm not sure if this is the average.  I'm just trying to figure out what that is, so I don't feel like a complete loser for taking the time I feel I need.

Quote from: big kim on April 26, 2014, 06:55:59 AM
Started HRT & electrolysis in January 1990,went full time end of September 1991

That's cool.  It seems like you had a longer transition and I'm glad there are longer time frames out there.  See, I want to give things time and not rush as passing is really important to me, but at the same time waiting sucks and I feel like a failure for taking all this time. 

I guess it depends on your definition of "start transition." I decided to transition in June 2009, started therapy in October 2009, went on HRT in February 2010, and was full-time outside of work by April. Came out at work and was full-time there (=never presented male again) in June 2010.

I was in a big hurry once I started down the path, though. I don't know very many people who rushed as much as I did, and there were some definite downsides to upending my entire life that thoroughly, that fast.

I went full time before HRT, or hair removal. I just couldn't wait. I admit, ten months hormones, and being almost completely hair free makes things easier now, but I had to start somewhere.

Had therapy for few years; laser zapped beard and legs over a couple of summers. Finally started androcur in january 2013; HRT end may 2013 and transition / full time together in August 2013. Went shopping with a girlfriend - changed hair and clothes overnight. Informed HR 2 weeks before hand (plus a few friends) - switched August 15 and haven't looked back since.

I guess that is a bit extreme but I am free and happy and it shows. Some work colleagues commented that my walk and posture changed overnight. I just stopped pretending to be male.

So much is down to how you feel about yourself inside - and not to worry / think about it too much. Just be who you want to be - not a chariacture.

For all those reading who are considering the big steps - I wish you success and peace. But also a warning - if you are not confident about what you are doing - or know deeply and peacefully that it is right - it will show and generate stress. Take your time and follow your own path / comfort.

Hi LTL,
Two years 3 months since I started to study seriously.  21 months on HRT.  10 months electrolysis. About the same out with friends and family.
Monday I will be out with my boss.  June fourth I will be out at work.  Already living my dream, soon to be celebrating my life.  Funny though it isn't as glamorous as I dreamed, but it is authentic and more normal than I could have hoped.
Cheers,
Julie

Well.......
I started hormones before anything else.  That was July of last year.
Then came out early January and started full time in late January.
I didn't even cared if I passes or not.
So far haven't been clocked, so that's a plus.

Started seeing a psychologist, in early March.

I didnt really have a time line, i just started hormones, then literally the day I was on hormones for a year straight, my gf, (post op)   said, you look feminine enough to me, and most her friends agreed, they raided my room, threw out my male cloths and took me cloths shopping and got me a bunch of starter outfits. and basically forced me into full time.  Glad they did to or id probably still be at the side of the pool only putting my feet in the water.

I'm full time before HRT though i'll have it soon, just hung up on insurance issues.

I couldn't handle living two lives anymore, so I got rid of the one that had no future.  I'm glad I'm over that baggage.

I realize this isn't available for everyone, at a glance I pass well enough not to be hassled when going to the bathroom in public, shop for women's clothes, etc.

In my experience most vendors are pretty open and understanding about these things.  When I told the nail spa about me being trans they didn't blink, same with the tattoo shop.  Though I understand these businesses by nature aren't in the business of making people uncomfortable due to word-of-mouth references.

However, I used the woman's bathroom in McDonald's and no one even so much gave me a weird look.

-AM

I was lightning fast. First start questioning my gender April '12. First put on women's clothes Aug. '12. Started HRT Jan. '13.

Went full-time June '13.

If all goes will, will get SRS June '14

I guess you could say I "started" at age 14 when I started living part time as a girl, whenever I could get away from my parents house and the little town I grew up in. It was the 1960s so things were much different then. Nobody knew anything about TS and my parents were dead-set against it; if you were born male, you lived and died male and that was all there was to it. It couldn't stop me though - I had no choice.

I started HRT at  age 17 but there was no legal avenue to 'transition' back then and one's legal sex couldn't be changed without SRS. I was 24 when Dr. Biber opened his practice in Colorado and I was one of the first in line. So that meant I was a full 10 years between self-realization and completing transition.

Really interested in this myself and reading the replies to your post. II took 18 months with a therapist beore I started HRT over a year ago. I'm still in the closet and I dont feel I'm ready to let go. Its semed so easy  in my mind before I started HRT. I want to come out and have this great urge but I can't due to bsinesreaons. Maybe thats my crutch right now - honestly I'm scared and overwhealmed.

I started transition by jumping straight into HRT. And my plan from the very beginning was "once I start passing as female consistently, and I believe a reasonable person looking at me could accept me as female, that's when I'll go full-time."

When I first went on full-dose HRT in January of 2013, judging by other people's timelines on Youtube I was expecting that I'd be full-time by the end of the summer. But the summer came and went, and by the 7-month mark on HRT, not only was I not full-time, but I'd never even come close to being gendered female for the first time. And looking back, I still looked completely like a guy. (Except with a wig on. With the wig, I did wear blatantly-female clothes, and I was gendered female, but I was still stared at a lot, still got rude comments from people, plus I didn't want to be forced to rely on a wig in order to pass anyway.)

It took another 3 months after that before I finally started looking somewhat female-ish to myself when I looked in the mirror. So I switched over to androgynous clothes, and people started getting confused, and asking me whether I was a boy or a girl. But I still didn't get my first ever wigless female gendering until the 11.5-month mark on HRT.

At 13 months, I was finally starting to get the courage to move on from my androgynous wardrobe and go out in blatantly-female clothes. However, the first three times I did so, I was stared at, and even told by a random stranger during one of those times "if my kids went out like that, I'd slap them." But despite that, I was getting gendered both male and female pretty consistently just in my normal daily outfits. I even started "male fail"ing on occassion, being gendered female even when I was wearing male clothes.

At the 14-month mark, I FINALLY found a look that I felt worked for me... ponytail, earrings, and female clothes. And so I started going out that way. And miraculously, at long last, everyone started gendering me female, and the stares slowly stopped. I started using the women's room (without incident, thank God,) and for the most part started being able to be pretty sure that I really was passing.

It was at almost exactly the 15-month mark that I finally officially went full-time, sending in my legal gender-change forms, getting the ball rolling on my name-change, and wearing blatantly-female clothes without too much worry and without incident. It took me that long to be confident that I was passable enough. I probably could have done it a couple of months earlier, but I'm a very cautious person. And I still honestly have doubts about whether I really am passing or not, but real-world evidence has proven me wrong enough by now that I can finally get my self-critical mind to shut up more often than not.

The thing is, it took me TWICE as long as I originally thought it was going to. I was expecting to start being misgendered by the 6-month mark. It took until almost 12. I was expecting to look female enough to go full-time by the 7-8 month mark. It ended up taking until 14-15. So if there's anything I've learned, it's that transition goes at its own pace, and you'll save yourself a lot of grief and agony by just letting it happen and not worrying about when it happened for others. I had a complete mental MELTDOWN at the 10-11 month mark because every single one of my friends was full-time by that point, where I'd still never even been gendered female for the first time.

The 2-year mark is when people say that you can finally start making assumptions about what you'll eventually look like. Until then, you can and will keep feminizing, so don't lose hope!

Without facial hair I could have gone full time in a New York minute. It always stopped me & still is a problem to full time. I'm working with electro lady every week to maybe finally remove this nasty hair.

First time? Two years on HRT but didn't go full time. :(
This time? Nine months.

Don't know if that technically counts as two years and nine months in total. I guess it does, first time was unfinished business.

Well I went on hormones at the age of 9, Yes I know really young but I had a hard time and a VERY supportive mother. I started going to school as a girl, got laughed at by my once best friend and he hated me. Soon I started looking more feminine and well life went on. Then FFS at the age of 12 which was 2010, The Hormones did work but I still never felt right so after FFS I felt better about myself. Things got better for me people had stopped making fun about me and had accepted me for who I am. Then my final hurdle was SRS which was in 2011. Now I'm a full time girl and I'm happy as ever! I lost my dad, well he disowned me after I started transitioning, but I'm trying to reach out to him and we have gone for a couple of  re-bonding dinners, and my best friend? Hes fallen for me! Oh the irony.. so I guess from the beginning of my transition till I went full time was 2012 so that's six years. One thing I learned was to never give up hope, and I owe it all to my mum for being there for me.

Sounds like we all have varying timelines. It is a personal decision and based on a number of factors.

I came to accept I was transgendered in 2010 but didn't do anything about it until last summer. I went to therapy in July/August and started hormones in September. At that time, I thought I would be "full time" by March of this year. I'm still not full-time.

At my six month mark I came out to my family and close co-workers and set a transition date of Sept. 15th (one year on hormones) but now that I'm out to almost everyone (except my 14 year old son but that is coming soon--working with therapists now to determine the best course of action) I want to bump up my full-time date. Not sure when yet. Maybe 6/9 (one year work anniversary) or maybe beginning of August (after my son is done with his summer science camps and he is out of town on vacation with his mom).

Emotionally I'm ready, but I don't want to push it with my son. I also need to buy more clothes. That's a big factor--as well as practicing my makeup, hair (wig) styling, and building up my "going out" confidence.

Jane

Full time happened for me one month before potent HRT. I was on low dose spiro and I'd started low dose E a week or two before.

I just looked at one of the pictures with me and fresh extensions last night. I'm still very fond of that set.

Quote from: ~Evelyn~ on April 27, 2014, 05:58:23 AMThen FFS at the age of 12 which was 2010, The Hormones did work but I still never felt right so after FFS I felt better about myself.

Why would you need FFS at age 12? Unless you went through your male puberty real early I don't think there would be much if any "male" development in your facial structure at that age. (And I'm surprised that there was a surgeon who would do FFS procedures on someone that young to begin with.)

Quote from: tgchar21 on April 27, 2014, 01:59:05 PM
Why would you need FFS at age 12? Unless you went through your male puberty real early I don't think there would be much if any "male" development in your facial structure at that age. (And I'm surprised that there was a surgeon who would do FFS procedures on someone that young to begin with.)

My mother knows people and I had kind of a big jawline so yeah not to mention multiple letters from therapists, and it was no easy task finding a surgeon who would agree to carry out an OP on me. But then again look where I am now, and I'm happy as ever! :)

Meltdown and first dressed fully- November 2012
Therapy- December 2012
Estrogen and laser- January 2013
Full time- March 2013
Full dose- July 2013

Wham bam, thank you ma'am!