Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

I know I've done a similar thread in the past but can't be bothered searching for it...

I was a late comer to the net, that is I had already transitioned before accessing it, my transition was in and of the real world (I had managed to slip through the net, for a number of years, but then got inter- netted in 2005)  :icon_userfriendly:

Anyhow...I was reading a post (can't remember which one it was) where the person said something like " I can't imagine what it must have been like to transition without the internet"... So hence this thread/poll......

Also, what do you think are the pitfalls and benefits of internet use for trans-people ?

Would you say it's both a blessing(lots of info) and a burden(too much info) ?

Metta Anatta :)

Well, I didn't really use the net till about 27. Before that, my use was sporadic and mostly just looking up literary/historical stuff. As soon as I found out ftm transition actually worked - that I could actually look like a guy, it was all over for me. Never even a question.

I had read stuff about gender dysphoria etc in books. But they weren't up to date and mostly focused on mtf stuff. And I'd heard and seen stuff. Ya know, drag queens and everything. There was a large gay community. And a gay friend of mine actually tried to tell me I was ftm, but I went off on him. I really didn't know. I mean, I heard about ftms. But I thought they were like Brandon Teena - women who could pass for guys naturally. And there was no way I could. I didn't know what hormones could do until the internet.

So no, I probably wouldn't have known until I spent significant researching on the net. So, not really so much I wouldn't have survived. As that I just didn't know. Because I didn't know hormones could do that much. I thought transsexuals were people who either got a vagina or dick implanted. And I wasn't remotely interested in that. Or that they were people like Brandon Teena who could naturally pass. And that certainly wasn't me.

Quote from: FA on April 27, 2014, 12:38:46 AM
I'd heard and seen stuff. Ya know, drag queens and everything.

Pretty much the same for me for a long time.

I had wanted to make some sort of transition for a long long time, since I was in middle school. I still hadn't realized the depth of my transness at that point though.

When I began seriously researching my options, I found Susan's. Everything kind of clicked. That was a year and a half ago- the rest is history ;D

The internet was my saviour. I found out I was normal and went from there. The place that helped the most though was Susan's. I made friends with women going through the same journey and they inspired me, held my hand and wiped away my tears.

As Jenny just said - the rest is history :laugh:

Quote from: FA on April 27, 2014, 12:38:46 AM
Well, I didn't really use the net till about 27. Before that, my use was sporadic and mostly just looking up literary/historical stuff. As soon as I found out ftm transition actually worked - that I could actually look like a guy, it was all over for me. Never even a question.

I had read stuff about gender dysphoria etc in books. But they weren't up to date and mostly focused on mtf stuff. And I'd heard and seen stuff. Ya know, drag queens and everything. There was a large gay community. And a gay friend of mine actually tried to tell me I was ftm, but I went off on him. I really didn't know. I mean, I heard about ftms. But I thought they were like Brandon Teena - women who could pass for guys naturally. And there was no way I could. I didn't know what hormones could do until the internet.

So no, I probably wouldn't have known until I spent significant researching on the net. So, not really so much I wouldn't have survived. As that I just didn't know. Because I didn't know hormones could do that much. I thought transsexuals were people who either got a vagina or dick implanted. And I wasn't remotely interested in that. Or that they were people like Brandon Teena who could naturally pass. And that certainly wasn't me.

Kia Ora FA,

I first found out that changing ones sex was possible back in late 1971, shortly before I was to return to the UK from Oz, I remember reading an article in the Sydney morning Herald about the "he-shes" of Singapore and how they took hormones and some had had surgery...I was fortunate enough to spend some time with the local trans-community in Singapore, but it took many years of having to row down that ancient river in Egypt "denial" before acceptance set in and I set out on the path...I had read books and magazines which had article on people transitioning....

I must admit I was amazed at the amount of info on trans-people that can be found on the net, it was mind boggling...Back then I didn't have a word for how I had felt, so to come across information on GID and GD at ones finger tips was of great interest-but my transition was already do and do with...

Metta Anatta :)

No way.  I'd be dead or drunk in a gutter by now.

About 15 years ago I discovered a lot of the early online transgender resources, and I did a ton of research.  But it actually kept me from transitioning in my early 20's.  Everyone seemed to have such horrific stories of abuse and tragedy, and fortunately I just don't.  They all said that you shouldn't even attempt to transition unless your only options were transition or death.  And I'm just not that dramatic about anything in life.  So it made me question whether I was really transgender.

And at that time I couldn't find a single example of a married person who transitioned and didn't lose their family, and that really sealed it for me.  I decided I'd just have to find a way to live with it.  And I did pretty well for 15 years.

But then about a year ago I discovered Susans and the transition timeline videos on YouTube, and suddenly transition actually seemed possible.  I found people who transitioned well, and more importantly I learned that many were able to keep their families.  And that's when dysphoria really kicked in, because I could no longer push it down.  I couldn't ignore it with the excuse that my wife and kids matter more than my happiness.

So the internet both kept me from transitioning, and later pushed me to do it.

Quote from: Jill F on April 27, 2014, 01:32:05 AM
No way.  I'd be dead or drunk in a gutter by now.

I should have cut to the chase like you.  :D

My first attempt at transition in 1989-91 was pre-internet. I was still able to get a lot of information, mainly because I was at university in '89 and the library had a whole of...what?... three books on the subject. Still it was enough to get me started. Mind you I didn't "survive" transition, or more to the point my transition didn't survive. The missing ingredient was support and being able to communicate with people going through the same thing. So that is what has made a huge difference for me this time, places like Susan's and also being able to read about (or watch) other people's journeys has been what helped this transition survive... and that's all down to the internet.

The internet was pretty critical, otherwise no one would have told me about the word transgender, nor would I have learned about it.

I probably wouldn't have any intentions of transitioning had it not been for the internet simply because I wouldn't of had much of a clue where to start, especially in the small town I live in with virtually no resources and no support.  Even WITH the internet, I am JUST finding out about potential resources just outside of my town so yeah, for me, it would have been virtually impossible to transition.  I am such a wreck now emotionally that I can't even imagine how I would be without the internet.  Then again, the argument could be made that because I didn't have the internet, then perhaps I might be in a slightly better place emotionally since I wouldn't have known much about transition so I probably wouldn't be focus on it so much and forced to think about other things.  I wrote about that a while back.

Quote from: katiej on April 27, 2014, 01:34:14 AM
About 15 years ago I discovered a lot of the early online transgender resources, and I did a ton of research.  But it actually kept me from transitioning in my early 20's.  Everyone seemed to have such horrific stories of abuse and tragedy, and fortunately I just don't.  They all said that you shouldn't even attempt to transition unless your only options were transition or death.  And I'm just not that dramatic about anything in life.  So it made me question whether I was really transgender.

And at that time I couldn't find a single example of a married person who transitioned and didn't lose their family, and that really sealed it for me.  I decided I'd just have to find a way to live with it.  And I did pretty well for 15 years.

My situation was similar.  HRT in those days was an all or nothing affair - low dose simply wasn't around or talked of.  Definitely, it was a case of you had to be in the situation of transition or death - I wasn't feeling like I fit in that category so I didn't go past electro and therapy.

I look back now at a few of my friends who not only survived but thrived and second guess myself.  I feel like I'm too deep in my current situation now and made my peace (for at least the next 5-10 years anyway).

It is yet to be seen if I survive or not, right now the outlook for survival is not good

But anything can change, just trying to not give up all hope yet

I never would have transitioned, period, without the internet.

The media gave me nothing but false information about what being trans was. I believed, falsely, that trans women were just men who had surgeries to give them vaginas and boobs and feminine body shapes, and therefore with my hideously-masculine body I NEVER would have done it, because I would have continued falsely assuming that I was beyond hope.

This site's "Before and After" page, and watching transition timelines on Youtube, was the only reason I learned about HRT's effects, and the only reason I finally figured out that I really could do it, after 10 years of falsely believing that I was beyond hope.

Had I seen those same pictures and videos when I was a teenager, I would have done it immediately. So thank God for the internet!

I make my money to fund this thing from the Internet so, it's very important for other reasons for me! :D

Back home in Green Bay, I think I would have been stuck without the web. Still, I got on line and what's the first thing I find but verses from Deuteronomy that I interpreted to mean that I was an abomination in the eyes of God. As a person of faith at the time, loaded with terror of hell, I didn't take that well.

The web gave me something to come back to with out having to tell my Pastor or come out to anyone. At the time beyond learning that I was not alone, having a place to go to deal with my faith and need to transition in private was valuable. Still, seeing that so many were going for SRS made me feel like an outsider because once I learned about dilation I was turned off completely.

So the Internet was a mixed blessing for me, but it was a key blessing.

Not a chance. Without Susan's I would have been clueless what to do. I might not have transitioned at all.

I started digging for information in about 1963 so that was decades before the Internet. SRS was 1974.

Yeah. I would have used the library to find the info that I needed on therapists, electro techs, endos, etc.

The Internet has been helpful, but I think I'd have been OK without it. It definitely helped me when I was trying to decide how I was going to go about transition - helped me locate a gender therapist, get an idea of what to expect and what not to expect from hormones and surgery, and I met a few cool new people.

Kia Ora,

Thanks for your responses so far...

There's no question about it, the internet (which provides support forums such as Susan's) not only gives one access to what could be seen as vital information, it also acts as a form of cyber counselling for many-where members can off load what's on their minds and get feed back(for the most part positive)...

However I'm not sure if having access to the net when I transitioned, would have made it any easier for me...

Metta Anatta :)   

I had the basic logistics down pre-internet, but also had a very jaded and negative view of the likely outcomes. Without seeing successful transition after successful transition online, I doubt I'd have ever found the confidence to move forward.

Quote from: Mia Lynne (Gwynne) on April 28, 2014, 01:11:24 AM
I had the basic logistics down pre-internet, but also had a very jaded and negative view of the likely outcomes. Without seeing successful transition after successful transition online, I doubt I'd have ever found the confidence to move forward.

For me, even the early internet resources (circa 2000) made the outcome seem pretty poor.  It wasn't until I discovered the YouTube transition timelines that I realized the outcome could be positive.

no i wouldn't have known even that there are actually other people with gender issues in the world. prior to discovering the term transgender in internet i thought all male-born feminine people were gay and female-born masculine people were lesbian (please take no offence, i was very ignorant on this subject then) and that i was an exception- a guy born in a female body. without internet i would still be living in my confused little bubble struggling to fit to the society the way i am told.

Quote from: katiej on April 28, 2014, 02:08:38 AM
For me, even the early internet resources (circa 2000) made the outcome seem pretty poor.  It wasn't until I discovered the YouTube transition timelines that I realized the outcome could be positive.

Agreed. Anecdotal accounts on the early net seemed to skew older. Until YouTube, I had no idea how profound early transitions could be. Of course, I had to wait until age thirty to figure that out.  :-\

Kia Ora,

Well so far, it would seem that the internet gave birth to most members here, and in its own way continues to nurture the progress for many...

It's amazing really, when one thinks about it....

Cyber technology, the mother of creation....

Metta Anatta :)

I really just started the road to transition and I think the Internet is allowing me to find the support I need take the right step, I do know some physical places where there are support groups but I'm not sure I'd be able to get the same depth of support over the same timeframe. Plus I'm super shy and have a tendency to Psych myself out when I'm in small groups.

If it wasn't for the Internet, I'd be in my 60's before I found this path (30 now) or I'd have just ended my journey prematurely. No thank you, I am grateful for the Internet and I'm grateful that I've found a place of sound harbor for when I need a community. Everyone here is just so awesome to help one another.

Thank you everyone.

No way without the net. I was far too inside my shell, drinking my way through as much denial as I could.

Looking up things on the net, anonymously as it were, made it all possible. I was so scared of the concept that even had I read up at say the local library I would have never known or had a clue who or how to contact anyone in the community.

The internet yes was the vehicle but it all boils down to actually speaking, talking, writing to other trans* people, transitioning or not. My first steps into actually coming to terms with being trans was meeting a local crossdressing group, arguably the most worried about being outed and potentially most careful about who they give details to. Without the net I never would have met them or even known of their existence.

Until then the only knowledge I had about trans people was what the media, specifically TV, the news and movies told me. No need to say that pretty much every assumption was blown out of the water rather quickly.

Sounds silly to say it now but 100% honestly I wouldn't know what trans was without the internet. I would've just had to deal with the weird and unknown feeling all my life thinking it was normal and everyone had the same confused feeling.

I had never heard of the internet when I transitioned, but then I didn't even know I was transitioning because I didn't know what TS was.

Honestly, no I wouldn't have.  Quite frankly, I don't know if I would have made it this far or even be alive without the internet.  That is one of the reasons I love you all here and Susan's means the world to me.  People here have been more guardian angels than they realize. Anyway,  the internet is my lifeline and continues to be (in a lesser way than it once did) while I go through all of this.  It's my support structure where I lack a stable one in real life. 

i'm not even sure i would have started.  :embarrassed:  i have been lucky to make some of the friends i have. It it wasn't for the net i never would have found my doctor either.

When I embarked on transition in 1973 there certainly was no access to the internet, yet I found my way to doctors, shrinks, etc. and also cultivated a network of trans friends & acquaintances without it.  Back then it helped to be in or at least within commuting distance of a sizable city but it could certainly be done.  Mostly I just got out into the real world and lived my life.

Of course there were some dicey situations along the way that I wouldn't want to re-live but that was just part of my journey.

I Choose important. I might still of survived because of my friends and family, And even though I stared this journey without the net, ive since then descovered that i will be facing a much harder time adjusting to hormoan that i thought.

So susans provides a sence of security and support i dont think you can find anywear els. Because i know that i can speak to other people all faceing or that have faced very similer problembs.

And i know its not the net but the people, but the net provides the access to them at the moment.

I discovered what being trans was when i was 15(about 13 years ago) when I became friends with a transwoman with whom i went to high school with.  I always knew i was different somehow and when i met her i knew what i was and what i was going to someday become.  From that day on, transitioning(a term i wasn't familiar with until the last year or so) was my deep dark secret project i would keep investigating and learning about.   From my early teenage years until i started transitioning i was an essential shut in other than work or the occasional friend who wouldn't let me stay home and hide.   I spent my entire teenage years either in mental health inpatient or grounded or just plain old not allowed to go out with people anywhere.   It was during that time I developed a love for both PC's and the internet.
      The internet in general has been my hidden saviour.   I always knew i was going to transition since i was 15.   I would always tell myself, im going to do this when i have enough money or i get away from my oppressive father or i have enough stuff and im in a good position to do it.   I spent so many years in and out of hospitals and dealing with drugs/alcohol and lack of any social skills to the point that i just stopped trying to be with others.   Once i hit my 20s i moved to NC and didnt know anyone.  At that point i gave up on people and spent all my days on my pc(mostly playing quake lol).   I shut everything but the internets and work out for 8 or so years.  When i hit 27 i was in a frenzy.  I knew something was wrong but i didnt know what my problem was even though at that point my dysphoria was practically overwhelming.  I spent thousands at doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with me and countless hours on the internet searching for an answer.
            After months of being in excruciating agony and not realizing it was the dysphoria(and i didn't know what dysphoria was at the time), a friend and employee accidentally got me to tell her about me being trans.  In that conversation it suddenly became clear what i had been feeling that had felt so bad.   That night i discovered susans, did some learning, and a month later i was full time and transitioning without looking back.


             The bottom line though, is this.   I spent over half my life with nothing but the "internet" as my only friend and comfort because i didn't know how to exist as a man in society and i couldn't even look at my self in the mirror without being sick.  I NEVER would have made it beyond my teenage years had i not had the internet.   If the incredible amount of drugs and alcohol i was ingesting every single day to kill the pain(which doesnt work either) didn't kill me,  I would have taken my life or played real life COD with the shoppers at my local mall till the cops took me out.  It saved me from doing the unthinkable, and even today Quake is probably the only thing that takes my mind off things for a little while and lets me forget for a moment.  Its also one of my fav and most enjoyable past times.  Information is power and the internet is full of it.   Thanks to the internet and susans im well into my transition now.


Sorry if thats a bit long winded, just felt like i had alot to say about the internet and how i got to where i am today.

In my case I knew what transgender was at a young age long before the internet mostly due to many Doctor visits insisted upon by my adopted father to find out why I looked so much like a girl, why I wasn't tough, or why I was so thin, etc., etc., etc. I remember one very nice young nurse sitting down beside me as I cried in the waiting room while my adopted father argued with the doctor. She had a womens magazine, and showed me an article in it about a famous British Model/Actress. While I don't remember her name, I do remember how beautiful she was. The young nurse the asked me if I knew what was different about her, which, as I shook my head "no" she said "she's transexual. she was born a boy, with boy parts." My eyes lit up as they dried, as the nurse further explained "transexual," and what it meant to me. I became fascinated with this British Model/Actress and would read articles on her and what she went through as a child, etc., and her transition then I knew what I would eventually have to do. This was the 1970's, and I was 8 years old. Though I knew I was different and more girl than boy before this, I now had a name for what I was, and someone to read about who had started out as a rather typical looking man, and transitioned into a beautiful lovely woman earning her living in the entertainment industry.

Some years later once the internet came along it was a godsend. however It took me awhile to get to know things about being transgender were available. Fast forward more years, I found many transition timeline video's on you tube, and began following one wonderful young lady's, Princess Joules's video's as she shared her transition with the world. Fast forward to when I found Susan's 6 months ago I finally had the support I needed to begin my journey. The internet is very important to me and my transition, especially this website and you tube's Princess Joules. Many wonderful ladies on this website have helped and inspired me in more ways than they know (y'all know who you are). I also met my two new best friends in the world because of this website and the internet, and likewise, I feel I've been able to help a few girls on or beginning the same path of transition. Susan's and the internet reinforce my hope daily. In addition, I would have never found my wonderful Endo if it were not for the internet.

I apologize for the length.

Ally :icon_flower:

I wish the internet had been around when I transitioned, but it wasn't. However, that didn't stop me from getting the information I needed by travelling up and down the country, meeting other like-minded people and discovering there was a name for people like me, I was transsexual. I then got my doc to refer me to Charing X and went from there.

Yes it was more difficult in those days but not impossible. I was determined to find happiness and succeeded. I was inspired by people like April Ashley. It was certainly more difficult for her in the early 1960s.

Caroline
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