Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How can we become better people by not doing certain things?

Some of my pet peeves:

Pucker lipped selfies thinking it will make you look more fem.
Purposely bloomed out way over exposed selfies thinking it will make you look more fem.

Over done makeup! :)

Trans' who defer health questions to the authority of a "therapist" and/or "medical professionals" -- but who are probably self medicating themselves.

C'mon who are you kidding.

That is the responsible* thing to say.


* = least personal liability.

Transgender and even cross-dressers who still act like they are being "naughty".

->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s surfing this forum and playing innocent commentator.

More of a general pet peeve

Diehard regulars who won't pitch in a few $$$ to help keep the forum we love running.

Trans people who actively discourage others from political activism and public education by predicting that "Things will never change. People will always hate us no matter what we do."

"More trans than you" stuff. It isn't a contest and we are all suffering to one degree or another.

I know right?  It's like oppression Olympics: it's stupid.

Here's a good article on this: http://persephonemagazine.com/2014/04/being-trans-enough/

This applies to a lot more people than just here, but I see it here a lot more than I would like and it grinds on my one nerve or so. People who ask for help, and then either wait for the one answer that suits them and their view only, or just go out of their way to explain why they can't do that, that and that. It's like another form of attention seeking. All these people are giving you suggestions, find one that works. Figure. It. Out.

People who criticize trans women for wanting to "pass".

Since Janet Mock began getting a lot of media face time,  that's been a recurring theme.

I've even seen trans women take someone to task for using the word "pass". When I've asked what other word should be used instead, the answer comes back, we shouldn't have a word for it at all.

I.e. not only are we not supposed to want to pass, we're not even supposed to talk about it.

I hate it when people lack empathy to someone else's situation, including myself in this problem. 

I'm trying to better explain this, but you would think many of us would be more compassionate with other people in life considering what we feel or go through.  Like being trans is a compassion or empathy lesson.  Yet, I think a lot of trans people, not anyone here particular, don't really acquire the ability to empathize all that well which is perhaps the greatest ability a human can have, in my opinion.  I feel we should be better at this than we are as a whole.   

How we often hate stereotypes targeted at us, but many are wilfully ready to participate in stereotypes of an outside group that is viewed unfavourably.

Our own inability to appreciate uniqueness in our own community.  Many of us will think, feel, act or live differently, yet I think some people have ideas that there is a right or wrong way to behave as a trans person.  That doesn't come up on this forum much, which is why I love it here, but I do see it a lot in the general trans community.  Like there is some kind of rulebook a transwoman and transman must live their life by.  It's just silly.  We are all different people that share one big similarity and maybe a few others. 

And I guess the last thing that comes to my head is that we tend to make our transition and our identity a bigger deal than it needs to be.  In my experience, most people that know don't see it as a big deal.  They think "oh, that sort of makes sense" and then they go on with their day.  Yet, many of us, myself included, obbssess on every little aspect of being trans and the hardships that exist that likely aren't so bad in reality.  I guess the way some of us, myself included, make the world into a worse place when it's really not as much of a nightmare as the one we created. 

Quote from: LordKAT on April 28, 2014, 06:00:48 AM
"More trans than you" stuff. It isn't a contest and we are all suffering to one degree or another.

EXACTLY! God, You took the words right out of my mouth!

Threads with huge walls of text.

Seriously, what's up with that?

TL;DR

"Gold Star" transsexuals who fully transitioned years ago, and now criticize anyone who doesn't meet their stringent requirements for a "true transsexual".

According to them, if you didn't transition by early adulthood, complete SRS and live a stealthy female life you are some sort of pervert and are ruining the good name of transsexuals who met the early Harry Benjamin criteria.

Randi

Two pet peeves are the "more trans than thou" attitude, we just don't need it here.

The other peeve is when someone complains about poor service on the NHS & non UK residents try to make us feel guilty for speaking up because they see it as a "free" transition, every working UK resident pays for the NHS through tax & NI so we have every right to complain when the system fail us.

Animated Avatars / Signature lines

:)

Them be fightin words...

Evelyn unsheathes her rusty blade

More pet peeves are:

People who pass better than me (i.e. pretty much everyone), you lucky bunch of moo cows!!

People with higher rep points than me

People who have not been on here as long as me & have a higher post count (seriously, how do you find the time?)

:P

I never understood rep points. How does it work? You lose one to give one?

Whining 40 y.o. virgins.

Members who think their sexual trials and tribulations make for interesting reading.

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 28, 2014, 10:02:55 AM
Threads with huge walls of text.

Seriously, what's up with that?

TL;DR

That's the worst. The enter key. It's right there by your pinky.

Quote from: Jayne on April 28, 2014, 10:25:56 AM
People who pass better than me (i.e. pretty much everyone), you lucky bunch of moo cows!!

Probably someone's pet peeve, but this gets a patented Jessica *giggle* ;D

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 28, 2014, 10:33:03 AM
Probably someone's pet peeve, but this gets a patented Jessica *giggle* ;D

Those pet peeves were slightly tongue in cheek, I try to not take myself too seriously (sometimes)

Mine, its people .. not on here that say.. isn't it a little late in the game to change now!  You made it this far..
UGH!
Or, can't you just appreciate being both and just be a guy, after all you are a cute guy and so good looking!
UGH UGH..

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 28, 2014, 10:02:55 AM
Threads with huge walls of text.

Seriously, what's up with that?

TL;DR

Quote from: FA on April 28, 2014, 10:31:55 AM
That's the worst. The enter key. It's right there by your pinky.

But how can I post without writing out monologues?  ;)  I'm like the biggest offender of this.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on April 28, 2014, 10:21:13 AM
Animated Avatars

I have one myself, yet some of them bother me.  Depends on the individual avatar.  In any case, I'm sparing you all from my face, so be greatful. :)

Quote from: Jayne on April 28, 2014, 10:25:56 AM
More pet peeves are:

People with higher rep points than me

People who have not been on here as long as me & have a higher post count (seriously, how do you find the time?)

:P

I know, those people suck, lol.  I'm totally not one of them. ;)

Would it help if I give you a positive point for this post?

People who are waaaay too attached to femininity and refuse to empathize with other perspectives about it. D:

Quote from: learningtolive on April 28, 2014, 10:44:12 AM
  In any case, I'm sparing you all from my face, so be greatful. :)

Self defeating attitudes are one of my peeves. I have seen you and you are gorgeous! :)

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 28, 2014, 10:49:56 AM
Self defeating attitudes are one of my peeves. I have seen you and you are gorgeous! :)

Oh geez, I must piss you off a lot then, lol.  I'm the queen of poor self image.  Hell, half of the other pet peeves I listed are partially pet peeves about myself that happen to also include the community.  But thank you for the compliments.  Seriously though, I prefer a symbolic representation than an image for an avatar. 

I don't have any peeves well, except one.

Cisgenders on trans-websites who are pretending to be trans.  They use lot's of "->-bleeped-<--talk" but some of the things they say or do just don't add up.

For example, another site I attend and moderate a user came on and try to say "she" got hormones as young as 6.

Which is utterly ridiculous, highly unethical for any doctor, and would probably kill a small child or at least cause severe developmental problems as a body that young is ill prepared to deal with the rigors of sex hormones.

It was later found out that this supposed transwoman was actually a 16-year-old cisgender girl.

-AM

kate regarding your last comment. I don't know about the rating thing. But you sure do look cute to me. :D

The way this place monopolizes your thoughts and not getting werk done.

Argh!!!

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 28, 2014, 11:04:36 AM
The way this place monopolizes your thoughts and not getting werk done.

Argh!!!

Addictive, isn't it. :)

Quote from: Jill F on April 28, 2014, 11:23:35 AM
The people who constantly whine about "poor me".  I mean, having a day like that once in a while is fine.  It happens.

When it seems to happen 24/7, I have to stop listening.  Sorry.  This is sh^t your therapist needs to hear.

Ah, another non-empath.

We should chat sometime.

:)
-AM

Quote from: learningtolive on April 28, 2014, 10:44:12 AM

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 28, 2014, 10:02:55 AM
Threads with huge walls of text.

Seriously, what's up with that?

TL;DR

Quote from: FA on April 28, 2014, 10:31:55 AM
That's the worst. The enter key. It's right there by your pinky.

But how can I post without writing out monologues?  ;)  I'm like the biggest offender of this.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on April 28, 2014, 10:21:13 AM
Animated Avatars

I have one myself, yet some of them bother me.  Depends on the individual avatar.  In any case, I'm sparing you all from my face, so be greatful. :)

Quote from: Jayne on April 28, 2014, 10:25:56 AM
More pet peeves are:

People with higher rep points than me

People who have not been on here as long as me & have a higher post count (seriously, how do you find the time?)

:P

I know, those people suck, lol.  I'm totally not one of them. ;)

Would it help if I give you a positive point for this post?

I haven't really noticed your text walls.  :laugh:

I think she means 'moving avatars'. They are kind of distracting and dizzying.  :laugh:

Quote from: Androgynous_Machine on April 28, 2014, 11:25:02 AM
Ah, another non-empath.

We should chat sometime.

:)
-AM

The thing is that I am very empathetic, but my limits have been tested here.

No, FA, your avatar isn't "Animated", i.e. Moving.

I was talking more about Signature lines where the image runs a loop of action. 

Quote from: Jill F on April 28, 2014, 11:23:35 AM
The people who constantly whine about "poor me".  I mean, having a day like that once in a while is fine.  It happens.

When it seems to happen 24/7, I have to stop listening.  Sorry.  This is sh^t your therapist needs to hear.

Well, I suppose I'm part of that problem, lol.  All I can say is that I try my best to help others in return as best as I can and give something back to the forum despite my shortcomings.

Quote from: learningtolive on April 28, 2014, 11:31:50 AM
Well, I suppose I'm part of that problem, lol.  All I can say is that I try my best to help others in return as best as I can and give something back to the forum despite my shortcomings.

No, it's the people who are like, "my pinky finger hurts."  Sorry you took it that way.

Quote from: learningtolive on April 28, 2014, 07:44:26 AM
How we often hate stereotypes targeted at us, but many are wilfully ready to participate in stereotypes of an outside group that is viewed unfavourably.

Seriously. This. I saw very biggoted posts on here, particularly against men, lol.

Other peeves would be:

People who gender everything and are obsessed with gender roles, people who feel validated by perpetuating stereotypes that ciswomen are against and strive to get rid of, yet these people are somehow delluded enough to the point that catering their stupid mysoginistic fantasies makes them "feminine".

->-bleeped-<-r-than-thou attitudes.

People who emphasize gender roles and that have their brains wired around them, contributing to alienating men and women from each other, making it seem like it's two different species of people, instead of just people.

"I feel like a girl", implying cispeople feel male or female, and don't just feel as their oppressed selves catering to a crappy gender binary that dictates how they should live.

Quote from: Jill F on April 28, 2014, 11:36:43 AM
No, it's the people who are like, "my pinky finger hurts."  Sorry you took it that way.

Don't worry, I'm in a zone lately.  Actually though, I'm one of the most annoying members when it comes to that problem, so I acknowledge it's one of my many faults.

Quote from: Jill F on April 28, 2014, 11:36:43 AM
No, it's the people who are like, "my pinky finger hurts."

But my pinky finger does hurt  :'(

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