Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm moving soon, to a state that doesn't have anti-discrimination laws for trans people when it comes to work or housing.  I'm also moving out (finally!) and will be renting on my own for the first time.  Would it be wise to check with my future landlord to see what his position is as far as LGBT stuff?  I should mention that I'm returning to my small hometown, so he's likely to find out after a few weeks anyway.  I don't really want to say "Hi, I'm a gay trans guy, can I rent from you?" but I'd be very surprised if he went a whole month without finding out.

That's a tough call.  Honestly, I wouldn't - but that's just me. 

I wouldn't, simply because it's really none of his business. If you pay him properly, and take care of his property without causing problems, that's all he should worry about. Anything else is your private business, ya know? I don't really see the point in telling him.

^ This ^

Unless your prospective landlord is an obvious, in-your-face bigot, it's not an issue. When you meet them, and they you, you/they will know and decide if you can work together.

I haven't told my landlords. Why would I? I pay my rent on time, I'm quiet, I keep to myself and my neighbors have never had any reason to complain. I've been through 3 landlords since I started transition and my husband and I haven't had any troubles.

I wouldn't mention it, but you want to be careful about checking through your contract to see how much notice they have to give you if they no longer want you living there.  If they find out in a month's time like you think they will and are no longer happy with you staying there what protection do you have then?  Will you have a month to find a new place?  Two?  No time?  It's something you need to consider if you really think things are likely to go badly if they find out.

Background check.  A landlord is mostly just looking at your references work history and can you pay on timea  They want to know if they are getting money regularly without hassle and will keep THEIR investment property clean and tidy. So if all that is in your male name your generally free and clear.

Do you come out.  Check the contact carefully if they can evict you tomorrow it may be in your self interest. Might be better to miss out on the place all together rather then end up on the street the next day.  Of course if you have time and you like the feel of them keep it to yourself

If he/she is going to find out anyway, I'd rather it be sooner than later. Once you know for sure they're cool with it, it'll be one less thing to worry about, and moving is stressful enough it is. Disclosing yourself instead of letting rumors do it for you also puts it in the context of "hi, I'm a nice guy and a potential tenant who just happens to be trans".  If they hear out from someone else, it may be framed as a "scandalous secret" or even as freakish or disgusting, which, sadly, may color the way your landlord sees it.

I came out to my apartment manager because my lease was up and I needed to re-sign the lease under my new name. She was really cool about it- when we were done with all the paperwork, she shook my hand and said "Nice to "meet" you, Ben."

^ good points about background checks. I'm sure my landlords have seen my information from when I was living female. They never mentioned anything to me and they treat me very politely, but maybe they know. I lucked out in that I doubt they care as long as I pay on time.

I agree that it's not any of his business, but he's pretty much guaranteed to find out anyway.  It's a small hillbilly town where everybody knows everybody, so yeah.  I've been away for a few years, and most of the people there don't know I've transitioned.  The only contract I have at the moment is his word over the phone.  I'm not sure if a formal contract will be involved, because like I said, hillbillies.  I will check it if there is one, though.

Quote from: Farm Boy on May 08, 2014, 03:16:37 AM
I agree that it's not any of his business, but he's pretty much guaranteed to find out anyway.  It's a small hillbilly town where everybody knows everybody, so yeah.  I've been away for a few years, and most of the people there don't know I've transitioned.  The only contract I have at the moment is his word over the phone.  I'm not sure if a formal contract will be involved, because like I said, hillbillies.  I will check it if there is one, though.

If your name is changed he might not even figure out that you are the same person.

If he's gonna find out anyway, just let him find out. It's not his business and you're not obligated to tell people that for housing. If he is a bigoted person, he will have a harder time coming up with a mysterious reason to get rid of you after you have already moved in.