Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've been wondering for a lil while now about negative reputations that people in forum received ..

do you think its necessary to give them negative reputation when you dont like their opinions/comments .. ??

i've joined a few forum in the past and this is 1st forum that i join and have this reputation thingy .. i think its kinda cool that if you like that person's comment/PM , you can give them +1 positive reputation ..

but i saw a few negative reputation and i think they dont deserve that, and the reason they gave them were strange imo (thats just my opinion though, not theirs because those who gave -1 seem to not like that person's comment LMAO)

if i dont like anyone's comment, i will just ignore it .. if i get one , i will feel like its a scar .. just like irl that i have scars from car accident .. and i dont like that ..

sorry if this thread bothers anyone who already gave negative reputation to others, i just wanna share how i feel & let it out of my 36D chests  ;D

I have never hit the -1 button for any reason.  In my fairly short experience with transfolk, I noticed one thing that most of us share.  We have seriously fragile, damaged or even broken psyches.  It's no wonder our suicide rate is so high compared to everyone else.  I could not live with myself if my -1 was taken so seriously that someone ended up in a psych ward or morgue over it.

I personally don't take the rep points here seriously.  In the end, mine are meaningless to me.  I'd rather someone tell me that I was helpful or comforting or that I made them laugh.  On the other hand, I'd rather someone publically call me out on my BS than take the cowardly route.

When I see someone out of line, I will either call them out or report to a moderator, depending on the nature of the post.

I wear my negatives like a badge of honor.  They were given to me by a very opinionated individual who is no longer active here.  I will not apologize for what I said at the time, as this person was saying some pretty horrible things in a very toxic thread that made me very angry.  If you don't like what I have to say, go ahead and smite me.  It will roll right off of me.  I have developed a pretty thick skin.

For the longest time, I didn't ever hit the +1 for anyone either.  It seems to mean very different things to different people.  If it comes from me, it's more like a hug.  I'm a hugger and wish I could just do it in person sometimes. 

Personally, I think it's dumb when people complain about the negative points in the reputation system. It doesn't really make much sense to have a "reputation" system where its only function is to suck up to people and tell them how great their posts are. Positive/Negative. Good/Bad. Meh....who cares?

good points, both of you

everyone is different, comes from different backgrounds & been raised differently :) therefore .. we can agree to disagree  ;)

hee hee

I like the plus feature, I like to give people positive rep. I've never given anyone a negative rep though, it just seems mean. I prefer to use it as a tool to tell someone I value what they said. I think that leads to more positive contributions in the forum, while minussing posts often leads to further discord.

Quote from: birkin on May 08, 2014, 08:07:18 PM
I like the plus feature, I like to give people positive rep. I've never given anyone a negative rep though, it just seems mean. I prefer to use it as a tool to tell someone I value what they said. I think that leads to more positive contributions in the forum, while minussing posts often leads to further discord.

I have noticed that smites frequently begat further smiting that probably would never have occurred had the original smite never taken place.

The negatives do seem a bit much. I'll be honest, though, I do tend to get a little excited when I see that I've jumped up a positive point. It makes me feel like I must've made a contribution that somebody found valuable. It's a nice feeling.

There's my two cents. Take it for what it's worth. :)

-Teg

Its funny. When i see nagative rep i dont see it as asign this person was mean but as a sign someone was mean to them.

and the posative i see it as a reflection of how much they have helped people.

i have given out two posative  in responce to having been enlightened about myself and being inspired by another. but on a whole i pay little attention to it :)

To date, I've only used the smite button once, and it was when someone posted a REALLY invalidating segmenting statement that I believed was harmful to the entire community.

IMO, that's the only reason it exists. It's not for when you disagree with someone. It's for when someone has posted something that is harmful to the community, and is going to cause other people to feel invalidated and excluded. And I'm going to agree with Butterfly, the positive rep points I see for being when someone has posted something that was especially helpful... posts that shed light on something, helped you understand something, gave you clarity, and just stuff in general that was especially helpful.

what is smite button  ???

Quote from: @Diana on May 08, 2014, 10:27:13 PM
what is smite button  ???

That's the red thumbs down, or -1

Quote from: Jill F on May 08, 2014, 10:28:04 PM
That's the red thumbs down, or -1

oh ok ta, Jill :)

I like the +1 feature and kind of hate the -1 feature and would never use it.

I have given some positive reputation points but I have never given a negative one, although now that I think about it I could have justifiably used the smite button a time or two on a couple of individuals that made some rather nasty remarks toward me in the past. Both of them eventually garnered bans and thus are no longer on the site so the management here saw it the same way I did.

I love giving positive rep points :)

What I would also love would be the ability to donate a positive rep point of my own to erase someone else's negative (if I think they don't deserve it)

I guess it could be called a "vouch" ;)

For some reason, I'm getting the urge to post this song in regards to all of this talk about "reputation":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RK9jjOLDHc

On the other forum I post on, you can only thumb a post.  You get something like -20 points if a mod/admin submits a ban request but there aren't many of those and one of them was made by a power-hungry guy who's had his admin tags removed.

It's a different story on the cracked.com forums.  I don't post there because there are too many unwritten rules.

Rep on here feels a lot more valuable.  Tegan hit the nail on the head there.

I enjoy being able to give reputation when I see that someone has obviously put a great deal of thought/effort/love into a post.

This is a support site, and that's one more way to give support.

I don't stress too much about existence of negative points. I've never given one - If I really think a post is unsupportive, I'll push the report-to-moderator button instead.

The number counts themselves don't mean much to me, but what I do like about the rep system is being able to look through them and remember those moments in time. I can look through mine and think, "Ah, that's from when so-and-so happened," smile and reminisce. I think most of mine are from PMs. A few are even from when I first met someone, and I can look at those to see when it was and how long we've known each other, which is cool.

I'm kinda apathetic towards smites. Most times they seem misused, and in the end, they really don't mean anything. Even when they're deserved, no one ever seems to learn from it. It only seems to serve to make people more defiant or gives them an excuse to play victim, which gets them exactly what they don't need -- more attention. Best not to feed the trolls in my book. If they get too out of hand, use the 'report' button.

Personally, I have never smited and stand against it in principle.  I don't think it's going to do anything other than make someone upset or hurt. And I hate hurting other people and getting into any sort of conflict.  It physically upsets me to do that.  If I have something to say that is dissenting, I'll post a comment with my position and do my best to avoid it from becoming personal.  I've always operated under the assumption that you can respect and be friends with someone even if you hold different views or experiences (my friendship with Jamie D would be an example of that as we disagreed all the time). Smiting on the otherhand just seems like you are giving someone the finger.  It's never constructive and is one of the surest ways to create negative vibes.  The person who offended you will in turn get angry and there will only be a vicious cycle.  No one learns or changes, things just get worst.  And in turn one little smite can make a lot of people feel more uncomfortable here which doesn't bode well on a support site.  Sometimes you are better off not saying and just biting your tongue.  I'm still learning this lesson from past mistakes, but I'd rather have my bloody tongue than a fight with someone.  Who needs that?

However, even though I disagree with smiting in principal, I can understand sometimes why they are used (very rarely though).  But even if it felt deserved in the moment, it's only going to have bad consequences down the line which will continue a negative event well into the future.  In any case, that's just my view.  It's site policy to allow smiting, so it's always going to be there. 

That being said, I tend to be a plus one whore around here, lol, so I'm fine with cheering people on. 

Quote from: Jennygirl on May 09, 2014, 03:16:05 AM
I love giving positive rep points :)

What I would also love would be the ability to donate a positive rep point of my own to erase someone else's negative (if I think they don't deserve it)

I guess it could be called a "vouch" ;)

I like it!

I will never give anyone a negative personally I don't get offended by anything anyone says. As a matter of fact I can't ever remember being offended here or in the real world about what anyone has ever said because we all the right to think how we want and say what is on our minds and actually the truth hurts sometimes. Plus sometimes we need to hear ugly truths to push us in the right directions no matter how much it hurts.

So, I've got 9 points now. What do I get at 10, a free candy bar?

What happens at 100? Do you get a shiny medal or something?

;D,
Teg

is it bad that I've thought about actually saying something horrible enough to get smited? The difficulty lies in actually doing so, I find it impossible to be intentionally mean.  So if someone just wants to get it out of their system, feel free...

Can we change the thumbs down icon into a middle finger?

Quote from: Jill F on May 09, 2014, 07:04:58 PM
Can we change the thumbs down icon into a middle finger?

For that suggestion, I salute you, mam.   ..I..

Quote from: Sincerely Tegan on May 09, 2014, 07:13:05 PM
For that suggestion, I salute you, mam.   ..I..

That's so metal! \m/ (-|-) \m/

heehee, thats cute Jill  ;D


agreed with learning & Jenny .. vouch would be nice ! :)

Quote from: Jill F on May 09, 2014, 07:04:58 PM
Can we change the thumbs down icon into a middle finger?

Made me lol

Quote from: defective snowflake on May 09, 2014, 06:44:19 PM
is it bad that I've thought about actually saying something horrible enough to get smited? The difficulty lies in actually doing so, I find it impossible to be intentionally mean.  So if someone just wants to get it out of their system, feel free...

If it is something that is the truth, it is not being mean. Sometimes the truth really hurts especailly from someone that has been there and is trying to help someone else.

Jill, I really love the idea of flipping the bird instead of the thumbs down but only stay on your rep for maybe three days? No one stays angry forever, or shouldn't so maybe permanant negative reps should only last so long.?

Question.

Does say erm..... People with not so much reputation feel realy flattered when they see their rep go up, then get excited and ruch to see what it was for?

And vouching hmm migh have to be more then 1+ though. like 10?

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 11, 2014, 10:22:24 AM
Question.

Does say erm..... People with not so much reputation feel realy flattered when they see their rep go up, then get excited and ruch to see what it was for?

And vouching hmm migh have to be more then 1+ though. like 10?

I get excited and always want to know what it's for.

And I appreciate every point.

Clack clack clack,
Teg ;)

Quote from: Jennygirl on May 10, 2014, 04:40:50 AM
Made me lol

Same here.

I don't give a negative rep for anything other than fallacious or damaging comments.

I see such comments as far more problematic than any hurt the individual might feel.