Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I told the military I'm transgendered.

You know, before being full-time that would have scared the shit out of me. But the feeling I felt wasn't of fear, but of liberation. I get it now. I understand.

All that  was, all his baggage, all his bullshit, all his emotional turmoil is now dead and irrelevant. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful of the life I lived. I don't regret a moment of it. This isn't a dual-personality situation. Rather a situation of one person becoming another.

The difference is I--not the military, not my emotions, not my past, nor my psychological baggage--gets to decide who I am to become.

To put it simply, I am finally the master of my own destiny. I am free; I am free to grow as Melissa and the price that must be paid is everything  was. Some things will mold, some things will transfer, but everything  was is now dead and gone, and in place of that vacancy is a being of joy, love, compassion, and unlimited power; Melissa.

I finally love who I am, and I don't regret a moment of it.

-AM


Mod Edit - Previous name removed as requested

Well, that's great! Congrats! But what's the military going to do about it now? Is this the US military? Don't they usually discharge people for being trans?

Yup, US navy.

I'll be admistratively discharged, and yes, I'm throwing away a  14 year career.


But happiness in a career < happiness in life.


I'll choose trans over Navy any day of the week.  One day maybe trans will be able to serve in the military, until that day, I'll focus on me.

-AM

All the best. Some other countries allow their armed forces personnel to transition (Australia, apparently) maybe one day the US will follow suit.

Australian armed forces will pay for SRS!

Quote from: Cindy on May 17, 2014, 04:14:53 AM
Australian armed forces will pay for SRS!

They will? Wonder if it's too late to enlist? I half considered the airforce in 1983...!

Lets meet up Monday at the front of the Adelaide enlistment office heh. I will start running the 600kms to get there now!


On a serious note I get to see Dr Lyons next month so worried, and yet excited all at once :)

I left mid nineties... How the service has changed!!! Would have got you a psych discharge back then.

All the best, Androgynous_Machine.  That was a bold move, but one which I won't try to second guess or Monday Morning quarterback.  You know what you're doing.

I don't think you've thrown any career away.  You served 14 years!  That's a massive sacrifice, especially considering what was going on inside your head.  You should be very, very proud of what you've accomplished.  And you should be very proud for having the courage to become who you are given the circumstances.

Quote from: Androgynous_Machine on May 17, 2014, 03:37:44 AMI finally love who I am, and I don't regret a moment of it.

That's the most important thing.   :)

I left the Coast Guard after 13 years, I know there are some level of mixed feelings there 7 years from retirement I hear on occasion but it only bothers me for a microsecond.... well maybe less.  I really hope they go easy on you. When the coast guard found out (I was outed I didnt decide to come out) they investigated me. then brought criminal charges (assault and battery for a wet willy, and giving a guy a hug because he needed it).

You will have my prayers that no one else ever has to go through what I did.\
Also welcome to freedom, its the best feeling ever.

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 17, 2014, 04:17:59 AM
I half considered the airforce in 1983...!

I'm thinking of joining the airforce too, but I'm not so sure about the outcome. Will they do a background check? And do I have to tell them I was a male? I can't find much online as I don't know where to look.

I'm glad you are being true to yourself and feeling free.

Did you all know it was in the news a few days ago that the U.S. military has said it's open to reviewing it's ban on transgender folks?

Quote from: ~Evelyn~ on May 17, 2014, 07:38:06 AM
I'm thinking of joining the airforce too, but I'm not so sure about the outcome. Will they do a background check? And do I have to tell them I was a male? I can't find much online as I don't know where to look.

Oh yeah. I really don't think you will be able to join.

By the way Androgynous_Machine you served for 14 years so you have done more than your part and deserve nothing but happiness.

Wow, A_M, you really took one for the team.

I am proud of you, and I am thankful for your service.

If any future job knows you are trans, they shouldn't care about the discharge.

Hopefully the military does the right thing sooner rather than later so you can get the benefits you deserve.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

That took some big girl pants.

Sheesh, where would i be right now if I would have did the same thing when I was in the military.  How scary.  You have real guts!!  Good for you.

Quote from: Lara the Lover and the Fighter on May 17, 2014, 10:25:09 AM
Sheesh, where would i be right now if I would have did the same thing when I was in the military.  How scary.  You have real guts!!  Good for you.

Amen on that one sister. I only lasted four years and it was killing me and I was scared to death I would be caught. I can only imagine 14 years.

I do wish I would have told the Navy when I was in. I did not have the courage then.

I read somewhere the US is doing a study to determine if the military should accept transfolk. I do not have time right now to try to find the story and share it on here.

Quote from: JadeFla on May 17, 2014, 04:45:56 PM
I do wish I would have told the Navy when I was in. I did not have the courage then.

I read somewhere the US is doing a study to determine if the military should accept transfolk. I do not have time right now to try to find the story and share it on here.

It was on MSNBC http://www.msnbc.com/ronan-farrow/watch/will-military-let-transgender-people-serve-255917123880

Thank you for serving, now go live and enjoy life and be happy.

Congrats!  and thanks for serving.  If you have a flawless enlistment thus far though.  you should get all your enlistment documents and make sure they get into the right hands so someday maybe we all can serve openly.  I wish I could of had the strength to hide it for so many years like you,  instead of washing myself out after a year for fear of being outed.  I do think the world needs to hear more about those who have served honorable giving up transition because of bad policy.  You are an inspiration and should make sure people hear your story.  Fair winds and following seas shipmate.   

@ Jessika

Thanks for sharing that.

Slowly the US military is catching up to the 21st century. It is a matter of time before we will be able to serve openly.

Congrats Melissa. The VA will do and treat you very well. I was in the US NAVY for 8 years. did not come out trans there but after the VA picked up all my care and treatment. The only thing they wont do..... is anything sergical for your transition.

Again congrats i dont know that i would have had your curage to come out as active. and from what i hear it not long before the trans population is welcome in the military.

Quote from: Sheala on May 17, 2014, 08:15:37 PM
Congrats Melissa. The VA will do and treat you very well. I was in the US NAVY for 8 years. did not come out trans there but after the VA picked up all my care and treatment. The only thing they wont do..... is anything sergical for your transition.

Again congrats i dont know that i would have had your curage to come out as active. and from what i hear it not long before the trans population is welcome in the military.

I second this.  The VA has been FANTASTIC! 

The military could really benefit from the trans community.  Admit it...us trans folks are AWESOME!!

We are pretty great. And humble.

Quote from: christopher on May 17, 2014, 09:01:53 AM
I'm glad you are being true to yourself and feeling free.

Did you all know it was in the news a few days ago that the U.S. military has said it's open to reviewing it's ban on transgender folks?

Yes they will do a background check and yes, it'll be found out you were born male.  The government is exceedingly efficient at few things, among them is background checks which are now standard operating procedure thanks to incidents like the massacre on the Army Base in Texas (Hasan) and the Navy Yard Shooting.   It doesn't matter if you are cooking food or fixing ICBM's, you are getting a background check.  In that process they will talk with basically everyone you've known at any significant level to include teachers, parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, pastors/priests, counselors, the whole nine yards.

And no, they won't be able to hide behind patient privilege as you must sign a release form basically invalidating it.

I agree with the sentiment that transfolks should be able to serve, I did honorably without a single NJP, court martial, or even as much as showing up late for work--I was late 3 times, all three weather related--for 14 years as trans (obviously not full time, but you get the idea).  Unfortunately a few bad apples like Chelsea Manning have left a really bad taste in the Brass's mouth.

I sincerely hope they review and reverse their policy on transfolks serving, many transfolks are healthy, able-bodied souls who have skills absolutely needed by the military.  There are transwomen and men who are engineers, physicists, aeronautical engineers, civil engineers, lawyers, doctors, surgeons, dentists, nurses, etc.

You tell me a military that doesn't need that and I'll say you don't have a modern war-fighting machine.

If they reverse their policy I will most certainly will go back in.  But I refuse to live a lie and I refuse to serve a military that in no way supports who and what I am.

And thank you for your support everyone, it helped tremendously.


-AM

Looks like they move quick, I'll have my admin sep by Friday my Commanding Officer said.


I figured I kicked this can for years, what's another few days right?


-AM

Hugs Hon,
You are a very brave woman and a credit to the USA Armed services; no matter their policy.