Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: PhoenixAsher on May 22, 2014, 03:29:21 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Help Me, Someone
Post by: PhoenixAsher on May 22, 2014, 03:29:21 PM
Is it possible for a good haircut to increase gender dysphoria?

Today, I finally got up the nerve to go get my haircut into a more male looking style, and it turned out great, I think. I love the style because I think it makes my face look more masculine. It makes me feel more comfortable in that way.

BUT now that my face and hair look all the more masculine, the rest of my body looks infinitely more feminine to me and it's really bringing me down. It's like by getting the haircut, I stepped into a weird half guy/half girl look and it's really depressing me.

Can anyone help?
Title: Re: Help Me, Someone
Post by: Ms Grace on May 22, 2014, 03:33:59 PM
I think that can be a common issue for many people, whether m2f or f2m. Could changing the clothes to a looser more male look help? Do you bind?
Title: Help Me, Someone
Post by: PhoenixAsher on May 22, 2014, 03:38:52 PM
I don't have a proper binder yet (and it's impossible to get one as my family doesn't know that I identify as male--though my mom seems to be catching on), so right now I just try my best to bind with sports bras but it doesn't work very well because I have a larger chest. That's where most of my dysphoria stems from now. As for looser clothes, I've been trying to buy some more with each paycheck but I do have a large chest so it is hard to find something that will hide my chest without making me look too small
Title: Help Me, Someone
Post by: PhoenixAsher on May 22, 2014, 03:39:09 PM
Also, thanks for the help
Title: Re: Help Me, Someone
Post by: invisiblemonsters on May 22, 2014, 04:17:23 PM
honestly i felt that way before i came out/started to bind. it's like yeah great, i look more masculine but...the rest of my body...not so much. once you take the other steps, it all comes together and you'll feel less dysphoric over it i think.
Title: Help Me, Someone
Post by: PhoenixAsher on May 22, 2014, 04:19:10 PM
Thanks, IM. I'm hoping that's the case, and I'm hoping that I get the courage to come out soon. I really want to tell someone in RL, but I'm too scared.
Title: Re: Help Me, Someone
Post by: HoneyStrums on May 22, 2014, 04:19:49 PM
Yes I would think this is common.
Right now as m2f my stubble is my biggest pain. But I was worried if id get the same pain with other parts once it is gone. I think i will because ill have a different focus (paying more attention to other parts).

so I Made a list of things i didnt like about myself, and sort of made a mentle plan of attack. "chosing what to perposly focus on next" and found out what i could and couldnt do about them. so to get passed the ill never have this or that now, instead of finding them out later.

My advise is look for somthing els you can work towards now. Like a binder? comming out? wait......


Waist clinchers? could you not get one of those in a much bigger size so it will go over your bothersome pair? I have no idea if this is even a practicle soloution. So if anybody has tried this is it a viable option?

I just though that a waist clincher is a gendered fem thing so getting one of theese in a to big size might send less warning bells? and you always have to option to complaing its too big to help keep up the stealth. and never getting around to getting rid of it.

I Realy hope this helps, I kind of feel like a smartey pants for thinking of it. But like i said before i cant possibly give any opinions as to its effectivness.

Title: Help Me, Someone
Post by: PhoenixAsher on May 22, 2014, 04:26:59 PM
Thank you, Butterfly--for both the laugh and the very creative (and awesome) ideas.

I am best when I am working towards a goal, so I think the list idea is going to help me a lot. The chest area is definitely my next area to attack, and I think I'll be trying your suggestion out. XD It really is awesome, smarty pants. Haha.

Thanks again for the great tips. (I'm actually excited to do this.)