Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My partner knows, and he's cool with it. We've had talks, and riddled through my insecurities, but huzzah. He's definiately okay with it :)
I told my best friend in the whole wide world, and she said she wasn't surprised.
I told a second, more recent, friend, who was cool with it.
The positive reactions, gave me the confidence to tell my brother- and he said, "Whatever makes you happy." And he seemed cool with it as well. Which makes me really happy, that he can get pass normative crap, and accept it so easily.
But then, tonight, I told my dad.
And woowwww that esculated quickly.
Featuring such responses as, "I can't call you my daughter anymore, and I'm sure as hell not going to call you my son. I have to think of something else to call you. How about... freak? There's my special child." Aaand, "Go ahead and do it, ruining your life is what you're best at."
And saying that my partner is okay with it, because he's already got one foot out the door anyways, and he's going to leave me for a woman in another province.
And saying that he's just going to forget that I ever told him in the first place.
And saying that my kids (who are 3, and 4 years old) are going to hate me, and be embarrassed to be seen in public with me.
So yeh.
I think he's mad at me.
And I think I might tell nobody else for a while.

Parents and longtime partners often have the hardest time. They fear losing the person they know. It often takes time for them to see that you are happier and in a better place after than you were before. Stick with the supportive people and reduce or eliminate seeing the ones who don't.

Having your partner on board is probably the most important one right now. Having friends and this site to cover when things don't go well and to share the joys when things do can do wonders.

I'm sorry he reacted the way he did but, give him time,....and space.

Well, he works away, so I only see him on the weekends when he comes home.
I think it was easier for my partner because he and I are pansexual, so gender isn't such a big deal to us when looking for partners.
It's just really bothersome, because I don't have a mother, all I have for a parent is my dad.
And I just figured, yes, I'll tell him now, so he isn't blinded that one weekend he comes home and my voice is super low and people at college are calling me Rob. It would give him time to get used to it. And I guess I can say that I'm not really surprised, at all. But I'm just really disappointed.

Im sorry to hear that. About both your parents. your children are three and four and i have neices and nephews that age and they still love me. And a lot of that is because of their parants. Their parents let me exsplain it to them :). I too have not a mother as a part of my life i just got through a difficult spot of missing her. my farther though i had to put it to him as it was. this or dead. it seems harsh and unfair to keep pointing that out to him, but in the end he needs to understand that im doing this because i want to live.

and that the most succesfull life in the eyes of others is worthless without happyness.

True to his word, my dad has completely ignored the entire trans thing. Business as usual for him, which I suppose I'm slightly thankful for, because I'd rather he pretend I hadn't told him, than have him call me names again. I'm a little worried about what's going to happen when I start HRT and my voice drops, and I start to actually become the guy I'm supposed to be.

Also, I'm starting college soon, at the local community college, so that's interesting. I already have them calling me Rob- I told them I was in the process of changing my name (To Robin, actually, if anyone was curious). But I felt that I needed to be straightforward about it, and just tell them that I am trans. I went to an open house for the course I'll be taking, and half of them called me a guy and half called me a girl. My voice is just really high, so the second I open my mouth, I no longer pass at all.  So I emailed the woman in charge of everything and told her, asked that they use male pronouns for me, linked her to series of educational videos on youtube about trans stuff, that's done by an actual FtM (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7SgbxvTR7N4ABiyIH1vO6BmKkVEpRNp6) and told that if she had any questions that I'm not that timid so she should definitely ask. And she replied back quite quickly, and was supportive, and said a lot of things about how the college promotes inclusiveness and so on, and said that she'd watch the link I'd sent.

So it went well!
Which is good.
Because goddamn, it's scarey to come out to an institution that's so important to my entire future, especially after the last person I came out to was a close family member which went very negative.
I just really, really don't want to become isolated because of my trans status, and I'm only really starting to come into my actual personality properly. It's a bit of a story, which I'll save for another thread another time, but the jist of it, was that growing up, I was so phsyically and emotionally beat down, that I grew up thinking that I was an introvert, when in actuality, I was very much an extrovert but too afraid of people to really express it.

If you get your name changed before you graduate, you will save yourself some future headaches. It sounds like you found a good school.

Yes, my college is two years and I start in September. And hopefully I can do the name change thing early on. I already have the papers for it, its just a matter of pulling together documents and the funds to do so.