Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi ladies,

A sister had her SRS date fixed in Dec 2014, so she begin to freak out. So i told her that she need to know that she is ready.

so the question is that, so ladies here, who are already had your or had a SRS date. how do you know that when you are ready for SRS?

Thank you ladies :)

Mine is in 9 weeks. So I still have time to freak...

But in reality it was whilst doing a two week residential course in massage therapy - when we are all in underwear and I hadnt told anyone. 2 instructors guessed but most participants didn't. I just felt like u couldn't relax... After booking the dates I had an Easter weekend of tension - but am now calm and peaceful. It feels right. It fits easily with job events in my life.

As my therapist wrote in the referral - I had been investigating options for a few years and had not rushed into anything. But once a decision is made I don't look back.

Good luck to her - and hope she finds her inner peace

You know, when there are no doubts, even in your secret life.

Only things I'd freak about would be that I'd be worried something would go wrong, that there'd be complications with the surgery or the doctor would do a really terrible job. Otherwise I'm ready. If I had the money now, right now I'd be getting everything prepared. I tell you, I'd have so much anxiety I'd be a mess, the whole process of therapists, letters, travel plans, as well as the waiting would kill me. I knew I was ready way back when I first knew that I wanted to live my life as a woman. I looked at myself in the mirror and yes, you can do this, time to come out, tell everyone who you really are inside, show everyone that you can handle it, that is not just a fleeting phase I was going through. While it has been a rocky road while on (and off) of HRT, still I've been handling it all far better than when I was living and looking like a guy. I am a woman afterall, always have been, and knew this with all my being. If steps hadn't been made to put me where I am now, perhaps I would have been dead. I thought all things through completely from the beginning, just wish I would have done better to secure myself a really good job - but what, that's where I'm lost.

I'm twelve weeks from surgery and after a bit of excitement when I fixed the date and sent the deposit a few weeks ago, I guess I'm as calm as anyone could be when counting down for major surgery which requires two to three months convalescence when all goes well. There is some real fear/apprehension about the surgery itself but other than that, I'm really very serene. I guess that's one way of knowing that you're ready, no?

To be honest, I've known I would go down this path from the day I knew I was going full time as I just couldn't imagine myself living as a woman in every dimension of my life, having all my official documents saying I was a woman and yet still have that male bit hanging around.

Like Samantha said above, after that, it was just down to the logistic issues of getting it done, finding the time and finances to cover both the costs of the surgery and the recovery period.

The required opening came a couple of months ago and I just went for it...
Hope that helps
Donna

I've always wished I had the opposite of what I have down there, so I think that's a pretty strong indication.

I'd think a bit of freaking out after setting a date would be normal. After all, it is a major surgery. As others have said, a lot goes into it. Travel, expense, some degree of worry about things going wrong, the recovery time after... If someone could remain 100% calm throughout the entire process, that's what would seem odd to me. So, I'm not sure your friend isn't ready just because she's freaking out a bit.

For me, I always knew that I intended to have SRS in the future, but when I first started transitioning it was low on my priority list. My number one concern was passing, followed by breast growth; why would I spend money fixing something almost nobody will see? I slowly started filling up my savings account, figuring I'd get surgery once I'd saved up enough.

However, after a while the little concerns piled up. Mostly little things at first: being able to fit into tight clothes without a bulge; being afraid to use women's facilities; fear that I might get sexually assaulted and my anatomy would turn things even worse, or that I might sustain a life-threatening injury and have healthcare workers refuse care to me. And I really wanted to change my birth certificate, something my home state requires SRS for.

But most of all, I think, was my urge to shut off the flow of testosterone. That was why I knew I absolutely needed surgery. (And an orchiectomy would have been a waste of money, in my mind, since I still wanted full SRS in the end.)

As soon as I had enough in cash for the surgery (~$10,500) two years later, I immediately reached out and scheduled a date. By that point I couldn't even wait to save up for transportation, lodging, and other costs, and took out a $5,000 line of credit to pay for those. I'm now three-months post-op, and I'm absolutely glad I did.

At 15.5 months post now, I cannot tell you exactly when I was ready, other than as they were putting my feet into the stirrups of the table and things went fuzzy and cold, I choked on my last chance to bug out of it.  (A person scheduled before me to have the surgery had pulled the plug in the OR, and wanted out.) 

At 24 -36 hours later, I had big time regrets, and I mean the most terrible kind, but when some pain meds and another sedative checked in, and I had a good cry and nap, those doubts were gone.  I have other sisters who also have reported the 36 hour cry, so I was not alone there.

I am certain now that I was ready years ago in my spirit, but logical minds tend to be several years behind that kind of stuff.  Keep the course clear, and if you make it to the day, you will know it is time.

I booked my surgery after xmas and my flights had a tearful moment as it meant the end was near.

was I ready dont know I had the brain was in overdrive especially as I came of hormones and the clock ticked away...

got on the plane the rest is pretty sereal really speaking to the surgeon paying the money doing the bowel prep just seemed a routine thing i spoke to the shrink on the night before she didnt have any doughts even going down to the theatre i didnt want to jump off cant rember if i was even asked on the day was i sure i still want to pinch my self just to check its not a dream.

was I ready apparently so but I didnt really know then but I do know now.

xx

I actually dont know...

For me, It just felt right.. it was time for me to be a complete woman... now almost 5 months later... very happy with the results.. I still cant believe I actually have a vagina .. I still catch myself staring at my little cookie between my legs when I naked after I get out of the shower (I have full length mirror in the bathroom).. and I get all excited again..

Dilation is a pain in beginning .. but it's now part of my routine.. so it does not really bother me...

I knew when I was able to go through the entire list of possible complications and bad results that I'd ever heard about a transgender woman having from SRS and say "I can live with that" to all of them.

hi


4 weeks post op here :),

I knew I was ready when I was fed up with not being able to get too close to the guys I was attracted to,

I again knew I was ready when I was so sick of tucking in

hope this helps :)

x

When my therapist says I am ready, I guess. She says I still need a bit more of mental strenght and confidence in order to go with the proccess and the post-op recovery.

Quote from: BebekArzu on May 29, 2014, 02:34:42 AM


I again knew I was ready when I was so sick of tucking in

I don't miss tucking at all... its nice to put on my panty and pull it up... no making sure it looks right...

Quote from: noleen111 on May 31, 2014, 11:09:50 AM

I don't miss tucking at all... its nice to put on my panty and pull it up... no making sure it looks right...

I'm clearly wanting to miss tucking right now... All my gaffs are drying and I'm using the backup plan: The old waistcincher. And I am not as skinny as when I used it. Urgh.

That's a good question. I had my SRS (GRS as they call it in Montreal) with Dr. Brassard in 2004. I had been living full time for several years prior to booking the surgery (they had a waiting period of almost 2 years) and had been growing weary of tucking and stressed that I couldn't date "as me" until things were fixed. It wasn't until I had lived that way that I finally realized that more than wanting it, I needed to have surgery so that I could simply feel "normal."

Now, after 10 years, it remains one of the best things I've ever done.

I am 20 now and I am 2 weeks from getting my srs. I am so excited! I have been waiting for this day forever. It's totally.time for me to get my srs. It will be the best decision I will ever have done. For as long as I can remember I have felt like a woman this will help me fell more like a woman. I can't wait

I went about transitioning very methodically, over a long period of time. First hormones for several years. I was out socially for over 10 years. I lost my career and was concerned I would never be able to pay for GRS, but I still held out hope.  The opportunity to fund it came about and I jumped on it.  Still, as I said, I'd gone about this slowly and methodically.  There was no absolute need to do it immediately. Surgery day came and the only in trepidation I'd ever momentary felt came when I walked into the "star wars" looking, surgery room and laid down, spread eagle.

They got me all prepped, inserted an IV and I passed out. I woke up and immediately knew something was not right. It turned out they'd stopped my surgery because of an irregular heartbeat.  I was crushed and immediately began sobbing. That is when I knew, with certainty, that GRS was "absolutely the right thing,and necessary" for me.  A week later I had my surgery . . .

Some rush through and have this need to get everything done in 18 months or 2 years, etc.  I had none of that, but yes, it was truly just as important, right and necessary for me. . .

I have to wait another 8 1/2 months to get to a year and I think about when I getting rid of them daily. It is not obsessive, but the ransom thought comes in. Honestly, they annoy me. I am so ready on so many levels.

Quote from: Vicky on May 24, 2014, 08:54:26 PM
(A person scheduled before me to have the surgery had pulled the plug in the OR, and wanted out.) 

Unbelievable Vicky ! Who would have known, getting that close.

Having been there in the Mills Peninsula OR, I remember that morning so crystal clear, all the logistics, all the preparations, I was so ready at the point, and recall being disappointed that my CA sterilization form required was not faxed over just yet to the hospital from the Dr's office. I had to wait 10 more minutes for that !! I remember having a pleasant conversation with anesthesiologist and she asked me "why are you here?", and I told her "I need to get to the other side, and to please make my outtie an innie  :)

I remember a certain time telling myself I would not reach this point in transition. I rationalized I could be happy without surgery at one point, I was wrong back then. Certain things were really bugging me the longer I lived in the role. I experienced a rising tide of body dyshporia, and I had to do it in my mind, I set the wheels in motion in late 2014 getting my approval letters in order, and I secured my date (paid my deposit) in early 2015, there was no turning back, no doubts in my mind.

So happy I did today, I can get dressed, shower, and not be repulsed. So awesome to see my lower body in certain clothes.

Thanks so much Dr Bowers, you gave me a much better life today and body love (not to be taken for granted)

Cynthia -

For me it was getting near suicidal about 2 months ago when I had the thought that it would never happen (fleeting thought, well over it now).

That made me realize how bad my body dysphoria has become.

Had been sitting on a phone number for about 6 months and made the call a few weeks back.  Consult scheduled for end of April.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Having just had my breasts removed and the daily happiness of not having those DD's i am now plannign my bottom surgery and so know its right for me

I think there's a certain standards of care (SOC.) If you lived full-time long enough and had a certain amount of real-life experience you are supposed to be ready.

Even then, the wait is usually long and there's certain things your surgeon will probably want you to do beforehand.

Quote from: CosmicJoke on November 18, 2025, 07:20:02 PMI think there's a certain standards of care (SOC.) If you lived full-time long enough and had a certain amount of real-life experience you are supposed to be ready.

Even then, the wait is usually long and there's certain things your surgeon will probably want you to do beforehand.

You are correct about the SOC, but the RLE requirement has been waived. The powers that be found that it could be dangerous to require someone to live openly in the role full-time before having surgery. They still want to see time spent on HRT and therapy, etc. But most of the requirements can be waived under certain circumstances (like allergy to hormone medications or other mental health issues).

It's best to discuss it with the surgeon. They will be up on the latest requirements and what they require before they will consider surgery.

Hi Everyone

My thoughts on this thread are contained in "Sarah B's Story" (https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=247190.msg2323590#msg2323590)

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

Quote from: Lori Dee on November 18, 2025, 08:25:18 PMYou are correct about the SOC, but the RLE requirement has been waived. The powers that be found that it could be dangerous to require someone to live openly in the role full-time before having surgery. They still want to see time spent on HRT and therapy, etc. But most of the requirements can be waived under certain circumstances (like allergy to hormone medications or other mental health issues).

It's best to discuss it with the surgeon. They will be up on the latest requirements and what they require before they will consider surgery.

Also some jurisdictions, like Ontario, still require 2 referral letters for SRS (only 1 for breast augmentation), as they haven't updated their policies to match what WPATH says. 

For me, it's been a long time coming.

Even though I have lived my best female life since I was 17 (42 years) and counting, I needed to have, not only the financial capacity but also the maturity to know that the timing is right.

I have booked my surgery date for early August this year (2026) and I'm not freaked out, apprehensive, scared or anything like that.

My knowledge of what is going to happen and the extensive research I've done on surgeons, techniques and the quality of the facilities where it will be performed, gives me clarity that my decision is correct for my needs and wants.

I'm not anticipating how things will or won't be because it will be unknown until I actually experience it.

Hearing / reading others experiences has given me their perspective and has armed me with knowledge and a sense security knowing that I have to date, made good choices and decisions.

Having said this, things could change over the next 6 months. There is no crystal ball to predict the future that could change the very foundations of life as we know it.

If you're freaking out, something is amiss.

I'd be very interested to know if the above members actually went through with their surgeries as most of the posts are from 2014.

I don't know that I ever felt "ready" or "not ready."  To paraphrase Yoda, do or not do, there is no "ready" or "not ready."  You either take the next step in your life, or you remain stuck.

Much of my life I have been guided by a feeling as to what was the right choice, or a sense that the way became clear, sort of like when you're hiking and it gets dark and you have to let your feet tell you where the trail is.  When I divorced, it was because it had become clear to me that if I stayed in the marriage, I would soon be dead, and while the idea of being dead didn't feel all that awful at the time, I knew I couldn't abandon my kids that way.  Many years later, I read a blog article which led me to consider that I might be trans, and that started me on the road that led to my transitioning.  Each stage was just one more step on the road that felt laid out for me.  (I'm very grateful for my trans foremothers who blazed the trail!)

As for SRS, it wasn't a matter of knowing that I was "ready," it was that that felt like the next step.   I never felt any inner conflict or questions about SRS, and the only reason it took 6 years before I could get it was the arbitrary standards of the individual surgeons.  The closest thing I had to any qualm about my "decision" was when it was time for me to walk to the OR, and I was terrified.  But I've had a lifetime of being terrified and moving ahead anyway, so it didn't stop me.

I remain scared to have it.  I will need to get past this first.

I decided I at least wanted an orchiectomy to get rid of my need for Cyproterone Acetate long term. Looking at costs it just made sense to go for full GRS. So decided to do that and sort for 2027. Via NHS would be over 6-7years at least. It'd bug me so made sense to just go private. I don't really find big decisions difficult!

I'm just doing penile inversion. Not too bothered about depth as long as there is some.

For me it was when I was walking to the operating room.

I knew in the back of my mind that it was something that I needed to get done but it was more on the level of needing a haircut. I was worried about timing as we were coming up to an election and unfortunately the Conservative party of Canada seems to be more Maga lite. There are far too many Canadians that lean towards Maga. I was worried that if the Conservatives took office then they would ban gender affirming care before I got the surgery.

I'll be honest I was so worried that I would be turned away from surgery and I didn't have a ride home for 8 more days. It wasn't until they put me in a small room by myself that I was able to relax enough to really think about if I was making the right choice. After about 25 minutes someone came to talk to me and 5 minutes after that they came to take me to the operating room.

Even walking to the operating room I was having second thoughts wondering if I was making a mistake. Suddenly my testicles started to stick to my leg and it was at that point that I truly knew that I was making the right choice. Even the few times that I had extreme pain after surgery I have never had any regrets none at all.

In the back of my mind before getting surgery I knew that I needed to do it but it just didn't seem that important but in the end it absolutely was.