Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Yonnyonawhim on May 26, 2014, 08:29:21 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Help identifying
Post by: Yonnyonawhim on May 26, 2014, 08:29:21 AM
Post by: Yonnyonawhim on May 26, 2014, 08:29:21 AM
Hey, I'm Yonny! I am pansexual and I think I may be genderfluid. I am not sure though. Most of the time I do not identify as either gender, and either pronoun sort of upsets me. The about 30% of the time I identify male. And about 10% I identify female. Maybe less than that. I was born female. I want to get top surgery and if I can find them, estrogen blockers. I have no clue what I am! Help!
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: AnneB on May 26, 2014, 08:48:36 AM
Post by: AnneB on May 26, 2014, 08:48:36 AM
Good morning Yonny! Welcome to Susan's! I expect Ms. Grace will be along any minute with your Welcome packet!
Ok... genderfluid can be good.. no worries.. figuring out something is just.. different is a big step and reaching out for answers is really good. That alone can help calm yourself.. depending where your are (continent), can you find a therapist to talk over what you're feeling? Any run of the mill, plain therapist likely won't know how to deal with any gender issues, so a Google search in your city/town for a gender therapist is where I think I would start. If you are in a college town, check the Physcology Dept for recommendations, sometimes those own advisors can either direct you to one, (many more kids realizing they're GF too), or they themselves can help.
We're here for you, no worries.. we've been there. Many of us are starting, midway thru our own journey and some here are are waiting at the end for you. We've got your back, a hand to hold, to guide, and a shoulder to lean/cry on.
Paula
Ok... genderfluid can be good.. no worries.. figuring out something is just.. different is a big step and reaching out for answers is really good. That alone can help calm yourself.. depending where your are (continent), can you find a therapist to talk over what you're feeling? Any run of the mill, plain therapist likely won't know how to deal with any gender issues, so a Google search in your city/town for a gender therapist is where I think I would start. If you are in a college town, check the Physcology Dept for recommendations, sometimes those own advisors can either direct you to one, (many more kids realizing they're GF too), or they themselves can help.
We're here for you, no worries.. we've been there. Many of us are starting, midway thru our own journey and some here are are waiting at the end for you. We've got your back, a hand to hold, to guide, and a shoulder to lean/cry on.
Paula
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: Jessica Merriman on May 26, 2014, 09:16:38 AM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on May 26, 2014, 09:16:38 AM
A big warm welcome Yonny! You have found a wonderful place where you can see stories like yours and what people did to address the issue. You have support now so use it as often as you need to. A first stop for most of us was with a Therapist who has gender experience. Here is a BIG HUG :icon_hug: to welcome you and make you feel right at home! :)
Please review these important topics
Please review these important topics
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: ativan on May 26, 2014, 11:02:52 AM
Post by: ativan on May 26, 2014, 11:02:52 AM
Hi Yonny
Don't worry to much about labels and such.
Just be yourself, that's good enough.
Labels are a secondary thing, not much use unless you have to use one.
They will change most likely, as you move through life, so don't get to hung up on them.
Look through some of the older topics of interest to you here, there's good information in them.
A good gender therapist is fine if you think you need the extra help.
They can be worth it, but it takes one that has a good fit for yourself.
Nice to see you here
Ativan
Don't worry to much about labels and such.
Just be yourself, that's good enough.
Labels are a secondary thing, not much use unless you have to use one.
They will change most likely, as you move through life, so don't get to hung up on them.
Look through some of the older topics of interest to you here, there's good information in them.
A good gender therapist is fine if you think you need the extra help.
They can be worth it, but it takes one that has a good fit for yourself.
Nice to see you here
Ativan
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: Taka on May 26, 2014, 11:41:01 AM
Post by: Taka on May 26, 2014, 11:41:01 AM
welcome yonny!
i have a feeling you might be human, like most of the members here. and even if you're not, chances are you're still a person...
or to be a little more serious, the way you describe yourself, you sound like a typical yonny. a person who is just like you.
there may be labels which you feel comfortable with, but i can't guarantee it.
when looking at gender labels and trying to figure it out, keep in mind that what makes up an identity is just as much of what you don't identify as, as what you do identify as. it's a bit like the linguistic game of defining blue for a person who has grown up in a world where everything is blue. we can say that the sky is blue,or if there is no blue sky, that it's the color which is not red, green, yellow etc. it is just as useful to know what you're not, as what group of people with similar characteristics you belong to.
i should perhaps mention that what gathers many of us here, is that we don't really share too many gender characteristics with any group. we're all so different. girls and boys may be their different hues of blue or red, at least that's what it sounds like when they try to describe it, but in here, it's not uncommon to be multicolored or an undefinable mix of quite a lot or very little of anything.
anyway... what do you think you are? that's a whole lot more important than what anyone else thinks you are.
i have a feeling you might be human, like most of the members here. and even if you're not, chances are you're still a person...
or to be a little more serious, the way you describe yourself, you sound like a typical yonny. a person who is just like you.
there may be labels which you feel comfortable with, but i can't guarantee it.
when looking at gender labels and trying to figure it out, keep in mind that what makes up an identity is just as much of what you don't identify as, as what you do identify as. it's a bit like the linguistic game of defining blue for a person who has grown up in a world where everything is blue. we can say that the sky is blue,or if there is no blue sky, that it's the color which is not red, green, yellow etc. it is just as useful to know what you're not, as what group of people with similar characteristics you belong to.
i should perhaps mention that what gathers many of us here, is that we don't really share too many gender characteristics with any group. we're all so different. girls and boys may be their different hues of blue or red, at least that's what it sounds like when they try to describe it, but in here, it's not uncommon to be multicolored or an undefinable mix of quite a lot or very little of anything.
anyway... what do you think you are? that's a whole lot more important than what anyone else thinks you are.
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: Satinjoy on May 27, 2014, 11:37:04 AM
Post by: Satinjoy on May 27, 2014, 11:37:04 AM
Welcome to Susan's Yonny
You are among friends. :) Enjoy, we feel at home here. Welcome to our home.
You are among friends. :) Enjoy, we feel at home here. Welcome to our home.
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: Asche on May 28, 2014, 07:33:32 PM
Post by: Asche on May 28, 2014, 07:33:32 PM
Quote from: Satinjoy on May 27, 2014, 11:37:04 AMOT: I can't see/hear this sentence without thinking of Gordon Dickson's The Alien Way, where it has a particular significance in the aliens' culture.
You are among friends.
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: Kendall on May 31, 2014, 10:08:01 PM
Post by: Kendall on May 31, 2014, 10:08:01 PM
I just support as long as there is no distress. If there is distress you need a license therapist, with experience with gender issues. They are the only people who can diagnose people especially with distress. Support can come after a professional takes care of distress and negative experiences. I can support you once you know who you are. We can't tell you who you are.
If you are not in distress look through the posts and read what other have experienced.
If you are not in distress look through the posts and read what other have experienced.
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: femaletome on June 19, 2014, 01:14:22 AM
Post by: femaletome on June 19, 2014, 01:14:22 AM
Quote from: Ativan Prescribed on May 26, 2014, 11:02:52 AM
Hi Yonny
Don't worry to much about labels and such.
Just be yourself, that's good enough.
Labels are a secondary thing, not much use unless you have to use one.
They will change most likely, as you move through life, so don't get to hung up on them.
Look through some of the older topics of interest to you here, there's good information in them.
A good gender therapist is fine if you think you need the extra help.
They can be worth it, but it takes one that has a good fit for yourself.
Nice to see you here
Ativan
This is wonderful advice and I completely agree. I know how it feels to struggle not having that one label that just fits, but I've learned that if I obsess over it and over think it, I just end up miserable. Overall I say that I am 'queer' simply because for me, that is open ended, but go with whatever feels right to you. Don't worry about living up to any labels or expectations of what those labels mean - we are all individuals and we evolve over time!
Title: Re: Help identifying
Post by: helen2010 on June 19, 2014, 04:11:03 AM
Post by: helen2010 on June 19, 2014, 04:11:03 AM
Quote from: Yonnyonawhim on May 26, 2014, 08:29:21 AM
Hey, I'm Yonny! I am pansexual and I think I may be genderfluid. I am not sure though. Most of the time I do not identify as either gender, and either pronoun sort of upsets me. The about 30% of the time I identify male. And about 10% I identify female. Maybe less than that. I was born female. I want to get top surgery and if I can find them, estrogen blockers. I have no clue what I am! Help!
Yonny
You are among friends, kindred spirits and fellow travellers. Working with a gender therapist will help you understand who you are. The labels really are not that important but the search for authenticity and authentic expression certainly is. You will have many questions and many insights. Feel free to share and to seek support. This is an exciting and powerful time for all of us. Welcome to Susans.
Safe travels
Aisla