Susan's Place Transgender Resources

well last night i didn't sleep. i haven't gone a whole night without sleep for years, But last night this guy who is my sisters friend decided to come over and every time its always "Your girl is an it" or "She is a gay ->-bleeped-<-"(he says these things cause she is MtF and we are dating) and he just keeps going on and on. It's 3:31 am right now and he is still here going on about it. i have nowhere to go to get away from him and no one will listen to me. i thought maybe telling you guys might help me cool down and maybe you guys can give me a few pointers on how to deal with A**holes like him.

Throw him out of the house.

I agree. You should show zero tolerance for that sort of behaviour. Show them the door. Or, if you don't mind the cost of replacing a window, the tried and true art of Defenestration is a nice dramatic option! ;)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.tvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpub%2Fimages%2Flocke-defenestration.jpg&hash=10899ead6450bd1ffe05e3397940c0ffb8dbb180)

Tell him he doesn't have to go home but he can't stay there

If he continues to behave ignorantly, call the police

He needs to leave, and your sister needs a chat about her "friends" acting abusively toward her family.

Ditto the above.

There is absolutely no reason you should have to endure that. If it was your house, he needs to leave. If it wasn't, than really whoever's house it was should have gotten that under control. If that fails, make a swift exit. Staying in that situation would not be helping you at all. I know for me, I would have escalated quickly as I have ZERO tolerance for that kind of language. Best thing for me to do would be walk away.

ty and i wish i could throw him out but its my sisters house not mine so i have no power and my sister just lets him do it. and i wish i could leave but i really have nowhere to go. everyone i know has moved to other states/country's. i am talking to my sister though and i hope she will see whats wrong.

I'm sorry they did that to you. I wish I could do something to help, but as we live in different states, that's not within my range of possibilities unless you want me to talk to them in skype. The only thing I can suggest is the thing hardest to do, and that's to have a mature conversation about these things. And that's not an easy thing. If there is anything I can do sweetie, I'm happy to do it. I love you, regardless of your family's friend.

I wasn't necessarily saying to move out. But if things are getting like that go for a walk or something. Just get out of the house until that person leaves. After they are gone you need to sit your family down and have a good talk with them. 

yeah a good sit down might help. However as that friend almost lives in his house, walking till he left would almost meant moving out. (we skype voice and video a lot, so I know how often he's there.) still a great suggestions though. ^~^

Ugh. That's terrible then. I hope talking to the family sorts things out. If they care about Li as a member of their family than why put him in that position? Aside from ANY other factors, they should have more respect for him than that. And that friend has a lot of balls, pardon my language. I would NEVER walk into someone's house and say such offensive stuff to them. I don't care if it's "their" house or not... they live there and deserve to be respected. If I don't agree than I don't have to be there. Wtf is wrong with people these days!

Quote from: kate on May 28, 2014, 04:01:11 AM
The guy clearly has issues. If you make it an issue of = you keep talking about it => you further entrenching my view that your a closet case yourself - will probably shake him off, or antagonise him, depends on his personality.

In my personal opinion, I would be worried about antagonizing him. While it may shut him up, it may also make a tense situation worse, potentially leading to a physical altercation and no one wants that.