Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I always thought that I am always a novice regarding women's fashion and makeup. Sometimes my wife and female colleagues give advice, but it is endless. I should learn and learn again, but I am still far behind them. I guess it is a good idea to share common fashion or makeup mistakes of m2f girls.

For example, a few days ago, one woman who is 5 years younger than me pointed out that I were wearing mini-skirt unfashionable way. She said that fashionable girls to not wear like me: the top should be over the skirt, not inside of the skirt.

(https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5590/14300089875_930a655bda_o.jpg) (https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5568/14113389459_76cee2975d_o.jpg)

According to her, my way of wearing skirt in the left is unfashionable. She recommended to wear like the photo in the right. I thought that I could accentuate my waist line by putting the top inside of the skirt as in the left, but other women seem to think I am wearing unfashionable way.

Has any girl pointed out any flaw or mistake in your fashion or makeup?

barbie~~

I have had my sisters point out that, I do waste a lot of money on shoes.

Because I sometimes buy them, for how they look by themselves, Instead of how practical they are and what I have to wear with them.

My biggest mistake is buying shoes I like the look of, but not liking anything that would look well with them.

So now I buy clothes with an idea of an outfit in mind. And try to ensure that some of my existing wardrobe is interchangeable with the outfit, especially with shoes :)

Bu this works with everything. I have bought coats too that haven't gone with anything I had.

Funny how things can be different by location.  Girls here seem to be wearing their tops tucked into the tops of their skirts.

Barbie,

The picture on the right, with the top out, is more like how young girls look here on campus.  This does make your legs look longer.  You can pull off this look.

The "mistake" many MtF make as they start out is to try and look too young, and wear skirts too short.   I know I can't pull off that sort of look so I don't try.  The shortest skirt I actually went out of the house wearing was just below the knee.  That actually was reasonably fashionable but I felt odd wearing it - despite seeming to pass with strangers.

And I agree that another issue is buying stuff that looks good by itself, but not allowing for how it works in an outfit.  I ened up getting a pink belt on a quick impromptu shopping trip to tie together an outfit I wanted to wear Tuesday.  This had a yellow check top, khaki mid-calf skirt, and pink shoes I really liked.  This sort of worked along with pink nails and a pink oversize bag.

Take my advice with a grain of salt - most of your outfits looks worlds better than mine.


Erin

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 29, 2014, 02:31:41 PM
I have had my sisters point out that, I do waste a lot of money on shoes.

Because I sometimes buy them, for how they look by themselves, Instead of how practical they are and what I have to wear with them.

Yes. That is also true for me.

I have too many 4 or 4.5 inch high heels that I seldom wear. They are not practical, and my toes frequently swell after walking on them for hours.  Usually I wear flat sandals in summer. Realizing this mistake, I ordered 3 pair of flat sandals a few days ago.

Also, I have too many too-short miniskirts. Most people comment that they are too short. Recently I purchased about 10 knee-high one-piece dresses, as they are very comfortable to wear. I guess I ordered too many. All kinds of colors and styles.

barbie~~

Quote from: chrissydr on May 29, 2014, 02:40:26 PM
Funny how things can be different by location.  Girls here seem to be wearing their tops tucked into the tops of their skirts.

For blouses, they do tuck them into their skirts.

(https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3706/14299952304_aae60da418_o.png)

barbie~~

The shirt tucking/non tucking will also depend on the figure you have and how loose/tight the top is.

I didn't give it, but the advice I wanted to give the young transwoman I noticed in the zine fair last weekend was...don't wear your jeans half way down your backside - only guys do that! If your hips are too narrow and butt too boney get a better fit of jeans not those baggy men's denims. Also, stand up straight, put your shoulders back - yes, you're tall but hunching over like that  is a dead give away, the only women that stand like that are 70+ and have a dowagers hump.

I say wear whatever speaks to you. In terms of clothing, as long as it doesn't clash there's not really a right or wrong per set. If you're buying quality clothes you find appealing then go for it.

The bigg area where rookie MtFs mess up ginourmously...and we've all done this so no judgment...is makeup. I've seen some very poorly applied makeup on here. YouTube is your friend. You have to start small.

Like for me, I tried everything at once when i just started and it was an epic fail. Cakey, smeared foundation, eyeliner was a mess and let's not even get started on the eye shadows and blushes...let's just say I hadn't quite grasped the concept of blending and it was all because I had no idea what I was doing. I looked like a clown.

But. I did research. I found out what the proper tools, best products, best application methods etc were. I practiced constantly. Now? When my makeups good it's fantastic to the point that ciswomen frequently compliment it and ask for tips.

You wanna learn how to do everything and then find what works for you. Like I'm finally a beast at applying liquid liner but I find it's harsh on me. I prefer nice brown crayon/pencil liner and mascara and falsies paired with a smokey eye using colors that create a nice contrast with my brown eyes.

Anyways I'm rambling. If anybody wants makeup tips hmu! I'm seriously fairly proud of how far my skills have come over time and I'd love to help newbies to it, so lemme know if you want tips :D

In or out is fine, depending on what you feel looks best.  I think both work for you barbie in this example.

And yeah, makeup is a big thing peeps mess up at first, esp w colors and how heavy it is applied, also shade of foundation is another common noob prob.  I could probably be better at it, but I just don't wear that much.  Always love tips tho Abby!

I think the general rule is that casual tops are more often out at the bottom while formal tops may be tucked in. However in fashion, all rules can be broken. One way to get by with tucking in a top is to wear a belted skirt or pants, too. I personally like tucking tops because I'm relatively long waisted and that's an easy way to give the illusion of a shorter waist.

Keeping up with fashion trends can be confusing, but it's not too bad if you identify your best basic looks and watch for changes that apply to it. I make a habit (or near obsession, I suppose) of checking the fashion and celebrity picture websites every week or so and constantly save pics of looks I like. They're in folders ordered by date for easy reference. I've actually got thousands now (don't judge :)).

~ Lyric ~

When I started to wear foundation, a woman at her 30s taught me how to apply it. When applying foundation or cream, do not scrub the face, but tap repeatedly until it is completely absorbed. Scrubbing resulted in unnatural tone and looking.

barbie~~

Quote from: Abbyxo on May 29, 2014, 03:30:54 PM
Anyways I'm rambling. If anybody wants makeup tips hmu! I'm seriously fairly proud of how far my skills have come over time and I'd love to help newbies to it, so lemme know if you want tips :D

I am sure Abby's eye makeup skill is better than most girls here. I may try to learn it in the near future. Some people say that my eye makeup is too dark.

barbie~~

Over stuffing the top like Dolly Parton.  Less is more sometimes, ladies.

I'm still very novice but one thing I have learned is to not over dramatize your make up. Like don't have bold eyes and bold lips choose one or the other. 

Though I am guilty of buying nice looking heels that are useless. Honestly anything over four inches is a waste of time unless your just going to wear them for a one hour event.

I've found with applying makeup less is more. Especially with eyeliners and eyeshadows. In addition as Abby mentions learning how to blend is a must. Also, when it comes to foundations and concealers it needs to match your skin tone when applied. I see a lot of girls cis  and on here that make this mistake. I also second Abby's words girls, You Tube is your friend. There are many makeup tutorial video's to choose from. You Tube is also how I taught myself a few years before finding Susan's here.

As far as the tops being in or out, I think that depends mostly on what your wearing with it, and in some cases, location. I live in Florida and no one tucks their top inside their shorts or skirts here. Not unless your wearing a thick belt, which here is almost unheard of. Shorts with tanks or halters, and sleeveless day/pull over dresses with the hem at or a few inches above the knees are favorites of mine. They're comfortable to wear and most of all, cool in the Florida heat. A good pair of sandals you're comfortable walking in down here are also a must. Save the flip flops for the beach, lol!

Ally :icon_flower:

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 29, 2014, 02:31:41 PM
I have had my sisters point out that, I do waste a lot of money on shoes.

Because I sometimes buy them, for how they look by themselves, Instead of how practical they are and what I have to wear with them.

My biggest mistake is buying shoes I like the look of, but not liking anything that would look well with them.

So now I buy clothes with an idea of an outfit in mind. And try to ensure that some of my existing wardrobe is interchangeable with the outfit, especially with shoes :)

Bu this works with everything. I have bought coats too that haven't gone with anything I had.

Because of this, I purged 99% of everything I owned when I decided to start transition. It was like "um, this is all a bunch of crap that I would never be seen in pubic in. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right."

I kept the useless red 5 inch pumps.

It is hard to say what is a fashion mistake and what is a choice someone else doesn't agree with. Lots of my clothes are gothy or hippyish, the way they look and indeed the way they are worn would vary from business causal clothes for example.

I think one of the few genuine mistakes I see is women wearing shoes that are too tall or too small. It doesn't matter how cute something is if you can't walk in it.

Also I see lots of women wear clothes that are either way too small or way too big on a regular basis.

Mind you, I see some cis women wearing the most god awful combinations of "WTF is that?" and "you were drunk this morning when you got dressed, weren't you?"... fortunately they're not all experts at looking good.

Years ago, I suffered from such a fashion disability, that now I am not sure if I have to laugh or cry over my choices of clothing...

But recently I found a very nice and simple way to dress beautifully, up-to-date and suitably for the body shape:

I got interested in fashion and started to pay attention about the current trends, also analyzed the clothing styles of the girls at my age and my body type in the place I live, everyday, so I can get the aesthetic feel about the clothing and colour combinations and later to achieve the ability of choosing my dressing style wisely, no matter if I want to blend in or stick out. Then I went to the second-hand store and bought several basic types of clothing, shoes and scarves, did a little experimenting, along with taking pictures, and finally, in just a few months, I am already being complimented almost everyday about my style :)

One very common thing rookie girls do is they don't dress age appropriately and as a result they draw attention to themselves. While I still believe that I can rock a very short mini skirt at 51 there is no way I'd ever be seen in public dressed that way. It stays in the drawer.

Another very common mistake is wearing clothes that look good on someone with an entirely different body shape than many of us have (ie: tall stick thin models used in clothing ads), but look hideous on us. It is far better to learn your basic body shape and choose clothes that accentuate the good features and minimize the not so good features.

Female fashion and the dos/donts just take time to learn. Ever changing fashion trends makes it harder to keep up. Welcome to being a woman  :)

Probably the best advice for the rookie girls is to keep your eyes open as you are out and about and notice what looks good and seems appropriate on other women with your basic body build and copy that.

could this almost be a trigger for us who never got this advice from mom?   For many, who didn't discover our true selves (or at least admit) until recently... there's no way she would have known, and therefore -given- us this advice on clothes, makeup, safety, etc.. I do not, for a nanosecond, hold mom responsible for any sadness this might bring up, just wish I had really said something when I was younger. 
I have not experimented with any makeup yet, other than some shimmering lip gloss (Burt's bees), but somehow feel I would end up looking like a serial killers victim if I tried.

Quote from: Paula Christine on June 02, 2014, 10:11:52 AM
could this almost be a trigger for us who never got this advice from mom?   For many, who didn't discover our true selves (or at least admit) until recently... there's no way she would have known, and therefore -given- us this advice on clothes, makeup, safety, etc.. I do not, for a nanosecond, hold mom responsible for any sadness this might bring up, just wish I had really said something when I was younger. 
I have not experimented with any makeup yet, other than some shimmering lip gloss (Burt's bees), but somehow feel I would end up looking like a serial killers victim if I tried.

It takes time Paula, you have to experiment like all young girls do!! :)

Though I feel the same. I wish I could of pulled myself together enough to ask my mother about these things when I younger. I try now and she does give small tips but nothing worth while.

My mother was largely a fashion disaster. I took my makeup concepts from girls in my subculture and from the media. I do sometimes wonder if I had been born properly if I would have emulated my mother and her terrible green eyeshadow matching her green sweatpants and white blouse with red cardigan. I should perhaps be thankful I didn't look to her for inspiration.

It is up to us not only to stay trendy but also what trends apply to us and our style. After all big fur coats aren't that great in the Alabama humidity nor are kikwears popular among metal heads anymore. Most fashions are not timeless.

I guess this is more makeup than fashion, so I guess it could get moved to that area if needed.. But I started thinking, is there somewhere to go get makeup tips/color recommendations based on hair/eye/skin tones? So everything compliments?   Like Dillard's, Macys, or salons, something like those to get a makeover tutorial?

Quote from: Paula Christine on June 02, 2014, 04:23:06 PM
I guess this is more makeup than fashion, so I guess it could get moved to that area if needed.. But I started thinking, is there somewhere to go get makeup tips/color recommendations based on hair/eye/skin tones? So everything compliments?   Like Dillard's, Macys, or salons, something like those to get a makeover tutorial?

Try You Tube. There's many makeup and fashion tutorials for you to choose from that are very good and educational.

Ally :icon_flower:

I've seen those but was wanting someone to look at my colors and come up with list what colors would go with mine.

You had the right idea, go to a chain store and ask for a makeover. They will tell you the colors they used in an attempt to sell you cosmetics. Use the colors whether or not you use that same store.

Quote from: Hikari on June 02, 2014, 04:17:03 PM
My mother was largely a fashion disaster. I took my makeup concepts from girls in my subculture and from the media. I do sometimes wonder if I had been born properly if I would have emulated my mother and her terrible green eyeshadow matching her green sweatpants and white blouse with red cardigan. I should perhaps be thankful I didn't look to her for inspiration.

It is up to us not only to stay trendy but also what trends apply to us and our style. After all big fur coats aren't that great in the Alabama humidity nor are kikwears popular among metal heads anymore. Most fashions are not timeless.

*Dies laughing.

I've been kicking around the idea of making a fashion/mood board for my style. Sort of like an inspiration for my looks, what I like and how I could use that to keep building my wardrobe. I'm starting to think of myself as some kind of rebranding project. Has anybody done something like this?

OK. Common fashion mistakes, huh? I'll go ahead and state the most obvious: Bad hair. I recently revisited a crossdressing forum I used frequent, but hadn't seen a long time. It immediately occurred to me that the avatar pics there form a veritable encyclopedia a bad hair looks-- primarily bad wigs. The painful truth that is often obvious to everyone except the wearer is that it is not easy find and wear a convincing wig that doesn't make you look like a drag queen or, at least, your goofy Aunt Agnes. While a wig doesn't have to be expensive to look OK, if someone doesn't put a great deal of effort into selection, care and styling, it's going to look phoney-- costume party phoney. I don't know how many times I've seen someone on the web who would look quite normally female if they just hadn't topped off their look with an obviously plastic-looking wig.

I would say the rule is to do one of the following: A. Wear you own hair if at all possible. Learn to care for and style it super well. B. If that's not possible consider a high quality professionally fitted hairpiece. C. Go to a good professional wig dealer and get one fitted and styled to suit your face. Learn to care for and style it well. D. Learn everything you can about hairstyling and wigs before you buy some silly lump of Kanekalon to put on your head.

A camera is a most useful tool when it comes to this stuff. Take a pic of yourself, then put on the computer next to pics of people with hair you'd like to resemble. This can be humbling, but it's better than displaying your hair mistake walking down Main St.

~ Lyric ~

Hmmmmm

Not sure I can particularly comment on the makeup area...I generally keep is super simple most of the time due to being super pale and wearing glasses...doesn't exactly leave much room for flair with the eye makeup :(

What I can strongly recommend though is researching how to put together a solid "Capsule Wardrobe". Too many girls buy one item without thinking on how it will go with others. They become fascinated with a specific style of dress or jeans or shoes or whatever, normally because  they have always coveted it, or it represents femininity to them. The problem is that they don't consider on how it will fit in the greater picture of their wardrobe on a day-to-day basis.

This is where some girls end up with enormous miss-matching wardrobes that cost them a fortune to maintain and they can never "Find anything to wear".

Transitioning is a hard enough job as it is! Buy fewer better quality articles of clothing that work together first.

Once you build a solid capsule wardrobe, going full time and managing your clothes is so much easier.


My other big suggestion is researching "Colours and Composition" and how it applies to clothing and creating illusions.

Fashions come and go, and cultures differ vastly in their styles and trends. So the most important things to learn are not specific rules about how to dress for your age, or in punk or hippy styles etc, but how clothes in general can be used manipulate the eyes of the viewer and cause illusions.

Eyes naturally follow lines and contrast, so try and have lines that point down and away from your shoulders etc, or towards areas you want to emphasise. This can be done with hanging necklaces, neck lines, scarves, belts and any other number of things.

Light colours make areas look larger, dark colours make areas look smaller. Manipulate this to shrink and emphasise areas as you desire. A dark coloured short sleeved open cardigan over a bright vest top or blouse can cause the shoulders to shrink and breasts to appear larger.

Become an illusionist :)

Once you know these basic concepts, you can put together an outfit for any style. Hippy chique, punk rock, business woman, the same rules of colours and composition apply across the board.

it's not a competition though, lots of cis girls don't have a clue either, just wear what you like (:

Quote from: sad panda on June 12, 2014, 10:36:36 AM
it's not a competition though, lots of cis girls don't have a clue either, just wear what you like (:

The best advice I've seen so far. Also you'll learn with experience. There's enough pressure on us already. Wear what makes you feel good within reason for your body type.

Best wishes.

Ally :icon_flower:

Quote from: sad panda on June 12, 2014, 10:36:36 AM
it's not a competition though, lots of cis girls don't have a clue either, just wear what you like (:

Quote from: Allyda on June 13, 2014, 11:26:52 PM
The best advice I've seen so far. Also you'll learn with experience. There's enough pressure on us already. Wear what makes you feel good within reason for your body type.

Best wishes.

Ally :icon_flower:

Hmmm.

While I approve of the above sentiments, and wish that we lived in such an idyllic world where we could all go about our business wearing whatever we like without being judged for it...the sad truth is that it is a competition in a way...

In this world...people, other women especially, do judge each other on clothes and fashion sense every day. :(

Like you say, there are plenty of cis women who have little to no fashion sense...but even they do tend to stand out in a crowd and draw the ire and snickering of the more fashion concious women out there.

Now of course there is nothing wrong with that, if somebody wants to stand out, doesn't care about the opinions or comments of strangers, and has the strength and confidence to hold their head high and walk through the daily hail of negativity, then more power to them.

You should always aim to do what makes you happy, cause what's the point in living otherwise?

But most trans women just want to be like every other woman, to look good and blend in to society at large as the woman they always wanted to be. They simply don't want every time they step out of their door to include a silent war on social standards and the mental exertion of saying "Screw you people, I do what I want, you can't judge me" to the wider populace of the criticising and harsh world.

Sometimes you just want to go to the store without having everybody on the street glaring or inspecting you.

But, to blend in, one needs to understand fashion, and how to dress correctly for your age and body shape etc.

If you are a trans women who is trying to blend in, especially when going through the awkward stages of transition, the last thing you want to do is draw more attention to yourself. There are countless problems with being trans that you cannot easily fix...build...voice...body language etc are all hard or impossible to manipulate and/or disguise. So why would you want to add poor clothing choices into the mix, when all it takes is some simple tips and advice to fix?

In these cases, trans women have to learn fast and hard when it comes to fashion. We are oft times new to it, and have not experienced decades of trial and embarrassing teenage error to discover the fashion styles that suit us and those that don't.

So that's where threads like this are a very positive force in my opinion. By pooling information and experience together in this manner, we can provide simple fashion tips and advice to struggling trans women, that can potentially save them huge amounts of embarrassment and hurt during what, as you said, is already an extremely stressful time.

In my opinion, saying "Just wear what you want" etc is not helpful to these women, and in some cases actively damaging to them.

If somebody is searching for fashion advice and tips to blend in, these types of phrases often make them feel like they are giving in to peer pressure, that they are less of a woman or that they should simply be "stronger","more confident" or "Stand Proud", which are all very difficult mental states for many people to enter, especially during the early days of transitioning...when all they really wanted was some quick fashion advice...

So yes...I agree with your sentiments. You should aim to become confident in yourself, and not need to rely on fashion to get through the day. But it's rarely as simple as "Just wear what you want and you'll be fine"