Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm having a surgery a week from Tuesday and was instructed to stop estradiol a week before. Of course, I'm not looking forward to stopping, but here is my question. I've get a first date with a man that Saturday night, and I'm anxious about being my best self. I know I won't regress in terms of feminine development, but does any one know whether 1) I'll be an emotional mess or 2) I'll smell different by that point? (See? I told you it was trivial.)

I don't know I do patches which is just a different method to get the same amt. On patches you can go three weeks and stop for a week and then another three weeks etc.

You will be fine =))) relax and have a great time. Stressing about it will only make your emotions go crazy before hand. Enjoy yourself and leave the stress behind =))))

Physically you will probably be fine. But you might be emotionally prickly.

Maybe you will feel...naughty

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on June 01, 2014, 02:09:19 PM
I'm having a surgery a week from Tuesday and was instructed to stop estradiol a week before. Of course, I'm not looking forward to stopping, but here is my question. I've get a first date with a man that Saturday night, and I'm anxious about being my best self. I know I won't regress in terms of feminine development, but does any one know whether 1) I'll be an emotional mess or 2) I'll smell different by that point? (See? I told you it was trivial.)

Not trivial.

I'm in the EXACT spot you are. I'm in the early stages of getting to know a wonderful person. I had to stop  hormones a couple weeks ago for my upcoming surgery.

So far it's been fine. I feel every bit as feminine on the dates as I ever have (though dating as a woman is strange, after all the dating I've done from the male side in my life). I use unscented men's speed-stick deodorant anti-perspirant, so I'm pretty sure no smell is getting through.

I just came back from a thoroughly enjoyable date.

I think you'll be OK.

Quote from: TiffanyT on June 01, 2014, 03:14:03 PM
Maybe you will feel...naughty

But I already feel naughty. Oh, no!

Quote from: suzifrommd on June 01, 2014, 05:55:36 PM
Not trivial.

I'm in the EXACT spot you are. I'm in the early stages of getting to know a wonderful person. I had to stop  hormones a couple weeks ago for my upcoming surgery.

So far it's been fine. I feel every bit as feminine on the dates as I ever have (though dating as a woman is strange, after all the dating I've done from the male side in my life). I use unscented men's speed-stick deodorant anti-perspirant, so I'm pretty sure no smell is getting through.

I just came back from a thoroughly enjoyable date.

I think you'll be OK.

Thanks so much. That's exactly what I needed to hear! And dating as a woman IS a much different experience. I only find a few parts of it strange. But I see what you mean. Still, those parts are so much easier. The effort of dating as a woman is directed in an entirely different way than it is for men. I'm capable of choosing restaurants and coming up with ideas for outings, but in the early stages, I allow (and sometimes require) the man to do pick. It's fun to give over those reigns and enjoy being treated. My role, other than looking as respectably good as possible, is more being attentive and appreciative (without being obligated physically). I like it a thousand times better than the other way around. I certainly don't think others must see their roles in the same way, but it works great for my enjoyment.

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on June 01, 2014, 08:30:43 PM
Thanks so much. That's exactly what I needed to hear! And dating as a woman IS a much different experience. I only find a few parts of it strange. But I see what you mean. Still, those parts are so much easier. The effort of dating as a woman is directed in an entirely different way than it is for men. I'm capable of choosing restaurants and coming up with ideas for outings, but in the early stages, I allow (and sometimes require) the man to do pick. It's fun to give over those reigns and enjoy being treated. My role, other than looking as respectably good as possible, is more being attentive and appreciative (without being obligated physically). I like it a thousand times better than the other way around. I certainly don't think others must see their roles in the same way, but it works great for my enjoyment.

I thought that this was just me! or more my passive nature. But the very few times I did date as my former self it was up to me to make the decisions (and to pay). It is so much different...but it also seems so natural. Even my very first date 1 1/2 years ago, it seemed so natural, I wasn't even thinking about the obvious (geez I wonder if he knows!) I was more nervous about my clothing choices and specifically about my shoes. I didn't want to be taller than him, I wore some 2" wedges....It ended up I was still quite a bit shorter :)

It does feel soooo much better but like I said before it also feels so natural....this was and still is surprising to me, but something I have no problem getting use too!! :) I hope you have (had) fun on your date!! :)

Quote from: Just Shelly on June 01, 2014, 10:21:43 PM
I thought that this was just me! or more my passive nature. But the very few times I did date as my former self it was up to me to make the decisions (and to pay). It is so much different...but it also seems so natural. Even my very first date 1 1/2 years ago, it seemed so natural, I wasn't even thinking about the obvious (geez I wonder if he knows!) I was more nervous about my clothing choices and specifically about my shoes. I didn't want to be taller than him, I wore some 2" wedges....It ended up I was still quite a bit shorter :)

It does feel soooo much better but like I said before it also feels so natural....this was and still is surprising to me, but something I have no problem getting use too!! :) I hope you have (had) fun on your date!! :)

Thanks for the kind wishes, Shelly. It turned out not to be a good date. He was a very pushy man, and I had to use my wits to get away from him. He didn't contact me after the date, so he saved me the trouble of telling him "never again."

Jane, great to hear that your main concerns weren't present for your date. But sorry that the date didn't go so well based on what sounds like his personality.  Anyways, good luck in the future!

Quote from: Just Shelly on June 01, 2014, 10:21:43 PM
I thought that this was just me! or more my passive nature. But the very few times I did date as my former self it was up to me to make the decisions (and to pay). It is so much different...but it also seems so natural. Even my very first date 1 1/2 years ago, it seemed so natural, I wasn't even thinking about the obvious (geez I wonder if he knows!) I was more nervous about my clothing choices and specifically about my shoes. I didn't want to be taller than him, I wore some 2" wedges....It ended up I was still quite a bit shorter :)

It does feel soooo much better but like I said before it also feels so natural....this was and still is surprising to me, but something I have no problem getting use too!! :) I hope you have (had) fun on your date!! :)

This brings up an interesting question.

Who pays on a lesbian 1st date? Say a M2F and a CIS.

???

MtF pays for both girls.

I'm going to guess that the one courting or butch one pays.  If both are girley then split.At least thats how it was for my mom. She's more manly than I am! >_<

Quote from: Megan Joanne on June 11, 2014, 05:12:28 PM
MtF pays for both girls.

:D

Oh god. And just the male-unprivilege I was trying to escape. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi61.tinypic.com%2Fmws6k5.jpg&hash=61e3440c5ef88d2baf009c1e098eb249e303ee8f)

Jane, I'm sorry to hear your date didn't work out. At least you found out early and not later....

By any chance did he know about your past or was this not mentioned yet?

Quote from: Just Shelly on June 11, 2014, 06:54:07 PM
Jane, I'm sorry to hear your date didn't work out. At least you found out early and not later....

By any chance did he know about your past or was this not mentioned yet?

He DID know, Shelly. And he seemed really polite, funny, and promising. On the date, though, he had very clear expectations and did everything possible to achieve them. I won't know what motivated him, because I'm done speaking to him should he contact me.

I am so sorry Jane. I was hoping for the best as you deserve to be happy and loved. You have so much to offer someone.

Well anyway  :icon_hug: I hope this silly Ehug helps a little.  :)

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 11, 2014, 08:20:24 PM
I am so sorry Jane. I was hoping for the best as you deserve to be happy and loved. You have so much to offer someone.

Well anyway  :icon_hug: I hope this silly Ehug helps a little.  :)

Aww. It really does. I'm really grateful for all the <3 on this post. I certainly feel happy and loved here!

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on June 11, 2014, 08:41:08 PM
. I certainly feel happy and loved here!

You should! You are an amazing woman Sis!  :)