Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was upset in that thread, and as a consequence didn't express my points very well. People pointed out to me that what I said was being taken the wrong way. Like I was saying trans women should out themselves. I did not mean that at all. I certainly do not begrudge anyone using every tool at their disposal to get a job. What I objected to is what to me came off like bragging about it. It's possible the OP did not mean it that way or realize how it could be taken. If you were fortunate enough to have missed all the commotion, and have no idea what I'm talking about it, just disregard this.

So I want to apologize to Miharu Barbie. Not because I feel I was wrong to express my views, but because I could have handled it better. I have deleted the argument from the thread in question.

Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 09, 2014, 08:42:21 AM
Good for you, FA!  ;D ;D

Thanks hon. I think my point was valid, but I was a jerk about it. And I'm really sorry about that.

It takes a big man to apologize. I hope I speak for everyone when I say it is accepted.  :) I did understand the point you were trying to get across. Friends still?  :-\

As someone who does not always say things the best way, I know it takes a lot of guts come out and admit it. :) For what it's worth, I got the argument you were trying to make and agree that it would make an interesting topic on its own.

i may not know what happened, but i forgive you FA. we all have those days but owning our actions and taken responsibility for them, though we may only say whats on our minds but also knowing that we could have phrased it in a more appropriate way, shows that you are a mature person.

Smiles :)

Thank you FA.
As I said in the thread.  I Understood wear you were coming from, but I did disagree with how it was presented.
I also will say a (Brag) is intentional. I don't think that was the OP intention.
Just sharing a bit of happiness in hopes to help lighten the mood for others and herself in an otherwise bleak existence.
Which the presentation of your opinion did a lot to undo, hence the negative reception of it.
If it was a brag your argument is valid, but I rally don't think it was a (brag).
Your opinion is still valid, but grounds for an argument? (not if it wasn't a brag)

This Is all I Have to say at this time.

Once again thank you for realising your mistake.

I do feel very misrepresented and misunderstand based on the nature and intention of my original post.

And I very much appreciate your apology.

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on June 09, 2014, 02:49:27 PM
Smiles :)

Thank you FA.
As I said in the thread.  I Understood wear you were coming from, but I did disagree with how it was presented.
I also will say a (Brag) is intentional. I don't think that was the OP intention.
Just sharing a bit of happiness in hopes to help lighten the mood for others and herself in an otherwise bleak existence.
Which the presentation of your opinion did a lot to undo, hence the negative reception of it.
If it was a brag your argument is valid, but I rally don't think it was a (brag).
Your opinion is still valid, but grounds for an argument? (not if it wasn't a brag)

This Is all I Have to say at this time.

Once again thank you for realising your mistake.

Yes, I think it's likely I misinterpreted the OP's comment. I think as trans people, a lot of the social issues we face stem from gender inequality. I mean, without sexism, if men and women were really seen as equals, I don't think it would be the big deal it is. If women were truly seen as equal to men. So, I think sexism is the major force behind all this discrimination.

Quote from: Miharu Barbie on June 09, 2014, 02:54:49 PM
I do feel very misrepresented and misunderstand based on the nature and intention of my original post.

And I very much appreciate your apology.

Thanks hon. It's difficult sometimes to convey emotion through type. Very easy to misinterpret intentions. I think in a gender charged environment like this one, it's very easy to get emotional and upset. I mean, this gender thing hurts and sexism hurts. And a large percentage of us either are women or had to deal with living as women. It can get very emotional.

Quote from: FA on June 09, 2014, 02:58:36 PM
Yes, I think it's likely I misinterpreted the OP's comment. I think as trans people, a lot of the social issues we face stem from gender inequality. I mean, without sexism, if men and women were really seen as equals, I don't think it would be the big deal it is. If women were truly seen as equal to men. So, I think sexism is the major force behind all this discrimination.

Yeah. But can One really see man and woman as equals? NO not when you focus on man and woman.
But you cant ignore man and woman because there are differences that you cant ignore, that need to be catered for.

But should the differences be catered for, and each persons attributes be taken into account I believe the world will become farer. Sexism really only comes into play when, you let sex become an attribute of attributes. Make assumptions of a persons abilities because of there sex.

But that's not exactly so simple, as I also mentioned in the other thread my opinion concerning gardening and landscaping work, went from respected to insubstantial. This was from people that knew me before, and know I'm good at it. So I being don't think being suddenly assumed not to have these attributes was the issue. But maybe from an Idea of how your supposed to treat a woman? After complaining to my sister about it "welcome to my world" was the answer.

So Is it really about assumptions? Or just the male and female ideas we are brought up to know and how we as people are taught we should interact towards and we should expect from the other? Sadly if this is the case, then the only way sexism can diminish is by no longer teaching these roles. Which means providing different expectations. Better less sexist roll models.

No more can and cants because your male and or female, No more boys do this, girls do that. But what would boys and girls be without this? PEOPLE? with various attributes that made them better suited towards this roll or that. And then baby making would be decided by penis and of vagina and not man and women.

I Might of kicked up a stink posting this, Its just a few thoughts and personal questions. And ALL OF THE OF TOPIC. (Sorry about that)

No apology needed for me 'cause I just never really get offended by anything. But I got to say FA issueing the apology just makes me respect you more than I already did. Like Jessica said, it takes a big person to apologize.

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on June 09, 2014, 03:44:01 PM

Quote from: FA on June 09, 2014, 02:58:36 PM
Yes, I think it's likely I misinterpreted the OP's comment. I think as trans people, a lot of the social issues we face stem from gender inequality. I mean, without sexism, if men and women were really seen as equals, I don't think it would be the big deal it is. If women were truly seen as equal to men. So, I think sexism is the major force behind all this discrimination.

Yeah. But can One really see man and woman as equals? NO not when you focus on man and woman.
But you cant ignore man and woman because there are differences that you cant ignore, that need to be catered for.

But should the differences be catered for, and each persons attributes be taken into account I believe the world will become farer. Sexism really only comes into play when, you let sex become an attribute of attributes. Make assumptions of a persons abilities because of there sex.

But that's not exactly so simple, as I also mentioned in the other thread my opinion concerning gardening and landscaping work, went from respected to insubstantial. This was from people that knew me before, and know I'm good at it. So I being don't think being suddenly assumed not to have these attributes was the issue. But maybe from an Idea of how your supposed to treat a woman? After complaining to my sister about it "welcome to my world" was the answer.

So Is it really about assumptions? Or just the male and female ideas we are brought up to know and how we as people are taught we should interact towards and we should expect from the other? Sadly if this is the case, then the only way sexism can diminish is by no longer teaching these roles. Which means providing different expectations. Better less sexist roll models.

No more can and cants because your male and or female, No more boys do this, girls do that. But what would boys and girls be without this? PEOPLE? with various attributes that made them better suited towards this roll or that. And then baby making would be decided by penis and of vagina and not man and women.

I Might of kicked up a stink posting this, Its just a few thoughts and personal questions. And ALL OF THE OF TOPIC. (Sorry about that)

Not exactly sure what you mean. But I think this all probably evolved because the differences served us evolutionary wise. But now, it's becoming obsolete. I mean, we don't need men to go out and hunt bison or whatever. I mean, men are still typically stronger than women, so there may be some things better suited for men to do. So, more and more the real differences are just physical. Men impregnate women. Women have babies, etc. But as we're seeing with trans people, even that is not so simple. Just physicality. The body is just a vehicle for the person. But we put so much weight on its shape - like it can tell us who the person is and what they're capable or best suited for.

I got a little off topic there. But I was just thinking, this is what a family is. We may get into an argument, we may misunderstand each other. But hopefully, we can still make up and come together. And that's great, really. I mean, if two people are good friends, but they've never been in an argument - how do they know their friendship can survive it? Family too.

I saw the comments in that thread, chose to stay out of it. I avoid trouble like the plague (stay far away). But I'm glad that you, even though you feel you had valid points made (even if misunderstanding), realized the harshness of your words...sounded pretty hard. I think we all go through it occasionally, sometimes it is difficult to convey what you want to say to another without offending them or just sounding like a jerk. Done it myself for sure and sometimes I'd look back and say to myself, why did you post that, that was a bitchy thing to say.

I did that one time last year when I wrote a note to my store manager because I was upset about being scheduled for a time early in the morning and ended up standing there for an hour with no one else showing up to open the store so I could start working, to find out the one opening was schedule by her for a later time. My words were quite snotty. I had a very legitimate reason to be pissed off, but could have handled it differently. She as well, totally went berserk when she saw the letter I left. Made working there very strained, we didn't get along at all for months. Finally it just somehow mended itself not too long ago. But, after writing it, even while writing it, I knew it was a mistake, but felt it was too late to retract it. We were both very stubborn, neither of us ever apologized for our behaviors, but I think all is forgiven anyway. Thank goodness because some days she was so horrible to me I nearly walked out.