Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Shana-chan on June 12, 2014, 02:39:29 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Apartment, should I tell them?/Need someone to talk too
Post by: Shana-chan on June 12, 2014, 02:39:29 PM
So, my lease will be up in 2 and a half months, I've been wanting to tell them, I'm trans, MtF and to call me by this name and the correct pronouns. Thing is, I'm worried/scared they'll evict me, even though I've been in my apartment for nearly two years without incident. See, if I wait and tell them later, I may have to move later which, I don't know how that'd work out since the person in my life atm will be moving in another month or so. So, then me moving and finding a place to live, might not be possible, especially if I am no longer able to speak to the person whose moving. (It's complicated) On the other hand, If I tell them now, and they kick me out, that person might be able to help me find another place to live. However, either way, if I lose my place of living, I will probably lose my job in the process too.. :(

So, what should I do? Do/did you live in an apartment and told them and if so, how'd that turn out for you?

Also, I am considering getting a room mate, only one person I somewhat know (Only just met) is looking for one and it'd mean, living with a dog PLUS her BF.. I'm not comfortable living with a man.. Plus, if they move out, I will have to pay between $800-$1000 in rent each month and I can't afford that. Any advice and, is there a site I can post on saying I'm looking for a room mate? (I doubt anyone here is looking for a room mate, would be nice though)

EDIT: Forgot, do we here at Susan's have a live chat where we can get together and talk in real time about our problems and what's bothering us and or just talk?
Title: Re: Apartment, should I tell them?/Need someone to talk too
Post by: LordKAT on June 12, 2014, 09:55:06 PM
Yes, there is a chat. It is IRC based and can be accessed from the front page.


As to telling your landlord, if you change your legal name they would have to know when you sign a new lease, otherwise, why bother.
Title: Re: Apartment, should I tell them?/Need someone to talk too
Post by: Edge on June 12, 2014, 11:49:17 PM
I told my landlady when I legally changed my name and she seems fine with it. I haven't been evicted or anything and they changed my name on their records no problem.
Title: Re: Apartment, should I tell them?/Need someone to talk too
Post by: Felix on June 13, 2014, 01:23:01 AM
I tried to explain to my landlord. I think my name change might have been already granted when I applied for my current apartment, but it might have been in process. If I had it, it was recent. It was hard to make it make sense to the apartment manager. He was keen to know where my kid's mom was, so clearly I hadn't explained very well.

I told my previous apartment landlord, and they seemed to try very hard to be respectful, but they obviously found the name change confusing. They kept telling me I had to pay higher rent if I was bringing in another person, and I kept telling them that I was the other person, that it was just a name change.

I live in Portland, which is known for being progressive, but the process wasn't event-free. I probably do get to avoid a lot of the stress that might could come up if I lived somewhere else though. I have more trouble with most landlords about my kid than about my gender identity.

Finding a roommate is hell. I have no idea what it would be like without a child, but I hate trying to find roommates. I never have trouble getting along with them once I have them, but most potential people never call back after the first interview. I get more interest for longer if I don't come out about being trans, but I'm not comfortable keeping such a vital detail under wraps. I'd feel like I was being deceitful. Roommates (in my world) should know even if almost no one else does.