Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, by orders of my therapist, i must go to the hospital.  If i dont update tonight than its because they kept me. Cya all soon

Take time to get well again.

Hugs

i dont like the look of this,

hopefully my mind is just on overtime,if it is,

come back soon Brianna xxxx

Good luck sweetie. I hope you can get the help you need.  :)

Ditto. Good luck Brianna. I hope you get everything sorted out.

The doctor didnt see me as a flight risk so he let me go.

You inspired me to cook you some dinner. Unfortunately, it doesn't travel electronically very well.


so,...how about a furry KAT hug?

I'm highly upset but they didnt downplay me this time

I imagine it feels good to be taken seriously.

Not as relieving as i thought. It makes me feel worse

Why do you think that is?

Idk. I'm in a state of utter regret right now

Regretting going to the hospital?

Regret even opening my mouth. Sure i wasnt happy  but i could of just poured more concrete on this and lived though eventually the strain would be to much but non the less. All i'm getting is unabswered questions and just being tossed from one doctor to the next

I can understand not wanting to be bounced around, it is hard to trust anyone when you don't know if you will even see them again.

I do think you need to open up to someone though. You have been through a lot and it takes time and someone who knows how to help you to get through it all.

You are worth getting help, you have new friends that care. Keep making appointments with your therapist. No one said it would be easy.

Enough advice, I talk too much some times.

no, you dont talk to much. its me just feeling ugh. i know its not easy nor do i expect it to. its just i'm tired of being bounced around when clearly it only increasing my already weakened state. i dont want to hope back on this ride once i get off. once i get off, i'm off for good even if it does eventually kill me from the strain

Let's hope this therapist proves useful then. I really would like to see you get in a better place.

he's helping, its just me

maybe i should just go away for awhile. i'm just to down to drowned to think anymore

That down til your head is nothing but fluff feeling do you mean? If so, I been there. I'm not sure how I got out though. I'll have to think about that.

No need to leave where you have friends though. Don't separate yourself from those who care.

i just see it as its not fair i have to bog down everyone else for i am nothing more than just a trigger

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 14, 2014, 01:31:00 PM
i just see it as its not fair i have to bog down everyone else for i am nothing more than just a trigger

Not true. You're a human being with thoughts, and feelings, and hopes and fears. Hon, that's partly what this site is for. So people can get out what's bothering them without having to keep it all locked away inside. And to get help, understanding and support with the things they're going through. You have just as much right to that as anyone else.

*hugs*

You are not bogging anyone down. You have as much right to post your feelings as the next person. Sad feelings shared are halved, joyful ones doubled. So the saying goes, either way, sharing is a good thing when you are feeling burdened with these feelings. Most people want to help. They can't if they don't know if or what is wrong.

i just want these feelings gone. i'll see what my psychiatrist can do when i speak to him but honestly he is a bit aloof. i've used up pretty much all my resources that i have so once this is gone, i'm off this ride and i wont go back no matter what the outcome is. it hurts way to much

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 14, 2014, 01:31:00 PM
i just see it as its not fair i have to bog down everyone else for i am nothing more than just a trigger

Brianna, you are not just a trigger and you do not bog everyone else down. You are just going through some things that a lot of us have been and are still going through and I would like nothing more than to see you feel better about yourself.

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 14, 2014, 01:44:26 PM
i just want these feelings gone. i'll see what my psychiatrist can do when i speak to him but honestly he is a bit aloof. i've used up pretty much all my resources that i have so once this is gone, i'm off this ride and i wont go back no matter what the outcome is. it hurts way to much

A little secret, Psychiatrists are always aloof. Psychiatrists and Psychologists will never out and out tell you anything other than their diagnosis. They will not tell you what you have to do but rather guide you in directions that you can figure out what to do yourself to feel better about yourself. Don't give up, hang in there. I broke down last week myself so I know those feelings and they do come back to me from time to time and the dysphoria crushes me worst than if it was a constant. After quite a few years I have learned how to crawl out of the depths. You can too. Sometimes we need someone to hand us down a ladder to climb out and there are more than enough of us here willing to hand you that ladder.