Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just curious if anyone noticed a fetish they have once transitioning? I have one and it only got worse after I had SRS, but I think that is based on psychological issues and not surgery related; but you have to admit it's an odd coincidence.

You mean after having done Your transition or meanwhile? Cant really comment about former, but with regard to this ongoing process, nope. The ones I had... they are still there but there are a couple of funny details though:
1. Because of considerable decrease in libido, I dont really feel pressed to try them out;
2. Because of total sexuality shift most inhibitions have gone, so it feels that eventually I will try these out with the right person in the right way.
It feels very curious but it does not bother me in the everyday life unless I get myself intentionally in that mood ;).
And no, I wont tell any details about it :D.

While I certainly haven't had srs, HRT hasn't seemed to change me sexually very much at all. I still am exclusively attracted to women and I still don't really have any kinks or fetishes. This makes me pretty boring I guess but, I suppose I can only like what I like. Maybe my horizons will expand a bit after srs.

I lost the majority of my fetishes after I started transition

The outlets I needed were no longer required :)

Quote from: Hideyoshi on June 18, 2014, 06:14:00 AM
I lost the majority of my fetishes after I started transition

The outlets I needed were no longer required :)

hhhmmm me to I think...

Id say I've gotten much more open since transition. Like I'm much more willing to try things that woulda been a no before. But that's psychological as well I think. Not cuz of the hormones

I'm just wondering if my fetish for piercings will subside.  Only time will tell!   >:-)

I use to have lots of fetishes or fantasies pre-hrt, and now that list has been effectively cut down to 1/4th what it use to be.

However; a core one that I have subsided for the first 2 and a half months of HRT, but now its back in regular circle if not stronger due to the fact that I feel more "correct" when i'm doing it in practice (albeit its not really a fetish because its not sexual, but it would be considered "a fetish")

I've always been open to trying new things or wanting to experience things, but now I'm able to admit it or say it as opposed to before.

As Hideyoshi said ~ the outlets i needed were no longer required ~ most of my fetish list where things that would allow me to feel more "me"... and now that I am "me" i don't need a fetish to help me feel it. But some things were just hard wired in my brain and stuck around, and become easier and funner to play with.

I think that you will get about equal responses here with this question. For some people their fetishes may increase because they are able to think more freely and explore once they begin addressing their dysphoria. For others they will decrease because they have begun focusing on themselves and addressing their core issues using their fetishes as a distraction from their dysphoria.

I count myself in the latter category. I am finding that since I have gone forward with transition that my tastes have started leaning toward more "mainstream" or "vanilla" things than the extreme fetishes I used to seek.

My interest in certain fetishes has waned along with my sex-drive overall, but not too much has changed. I've become more sexually active, and I'm at an age where some of my priorities have shifted, but those aren't a direct result of HRT.

Those are pretty interesting replies. I personally have only had one real fetish and in the last 10+ years it's become more focused in my life. I did not really have a sex drive before because my body did not respond very well to androgens and my body did not produce large quantities of testosterone due to underdevelopment of a certain dangling spherical abnormal cellular masses which caused a mild spermatogenic affect. I refused testosterone shots (and oddly dihydrotestosterone) once I started puberty thus I never really had a sex drive with my already low levels of testosterone.

Quote from: Hikari on June 18, 2014, 05:56:22 AM
While I certainly haven't had srs, HRT hasn't seemed to change me sexually very much at all. I still am exclusively attracted to women and I still don't really have any kinks or fetishes. This makes me pretty boring I guess but, I suppose I can only like what I like. Maybe my horizons will expand a bit after srs.

That does not make you boring. Maybe you have some but you don't really know they are one? Some people are into hands, feet or obsess over breasts and all those are technically a fetish respectively.  Strangely, I did not explore my bisexuality until I had been living as myself for almost two years. I was not even aware that I was attracted to men until I was open about who I was. There were a couple incidents when I was younger but I attributed that to merely a "phase." Ironically, I had a harder time accepting the fact that I am bisexual than I did being a transsexual. My other medical issues I've had since birth so I was used to it my whole life. You are still early into your transition so maybe in the future other things might appear.

Quote from: Hideyoshi on June 18, 2014, 06:14:00 AM
I lost the majority of my fetishes after I started transition. The outlets I needed were no longer required :)

Mine was never an outlet....

Quote from: Abbyxo on June 18, 2014, 06:54:27 AM
Id say I've gotten much more open since transition. Like I'm much more willing to try things that woulda been a no before. But that's psychological as well I think. Not cuz of the hormones

That's what lead me to be okay with myself being bisexual. I think as I got more comfortable with who I am the more my real desires were allowed to manifest.

Quote from: allisonsteph on June 18, 2014, 10:25:18 AM
I think that you will get about equal responses here with this question. For some people their fetishes may increase because they are able to think more freely and explore once they begin addressing their dysphoria. For others they will decrease because they have begun focusing on themselves and addressing their core issues using their fetishes as a distraction from their dysphoria.

I count myself in the latter category. I am finding that since I have gone forward with transition that my tastes have started leaning toward more "mainstream" or "vanilla" things than the extreme fetishes I used to seek.

You make good points and there are some statements here where they [fetishes] were clearly a distraction. However, I find it odd that nobody noticed anything new once becoming more comfortable with themselves which would allow their true persona to develop and assert its true desires, attractions and sexual preferences.

Same monkeys, different barrel here.   

I guess the idea of snuggling up to guys is becoming more appealing, assuming I'm packing a vagina at the time?  Never was one for porn, and well, nothing much at all has changed mentally from what I can tell.  Physically, I sort of enjoy the sensations of my new nipples and getting my new ass spanked.

Yup, I'm officially boring.

Quote from: Jill F on June 18, 2014, 11:55:47 AM
Same monkeys, different barrel here. I guess the idea of snuggling up to guys is becoming more appealing, assuming I'm packing a vagina at the time?  Never was one for porn, and well, nothing much at all has changed mentally from what I can tell.  Physically, I sort of enjoy the sensations of my new nipples and getting my new ass spanked. Yup, I'm officially boring.

Really? My whole personality is different! Very few things from my prior, fake persona transcended over into who I really am. Even things I like or dislike are drastically different right down to music tastes. When I try to listen to music I used to love (or at least I thought I did) it irritates me, gives me a headache and is simply not appealing whatsoever. There is almost nothing about me that is reminiscent of that "thing" I used to parade around as. The things I like to do, books I like to read, music, clothes, fashion, shoes, TV shows; even the type of environment I like to live in is all drastically different, how I feel about things, my perceptions, beliefs and sense of morality right down to my ethical system; It's all different! Like I said, very few similarities. Who I was before has nothing to do with who I am now. It was a big joke; I was a big joke, a cliche and an actor in the movie called my life. There were no "behind the scenes" for me and I loathed that "thing" I was claiming I was and wanted desperately to kill it permanently. Thankfully today, that "thing" is dead.

Quote from: Miss Demoness on June 18, 2014, 12:38:52 PM
Really? My whole personality is different! Very few things from my prior, fake persona transcended over into who I really am. Even things I like or dislike are drastically different right down to music tastes. When I try to listen to music I used to love (or at least I thought I did) it irritates me, gives me a headache and is simply not appealing whatsoever. There is almost nothing about me that is reminiscent of that "thing" I used to parade around as. The things I like to do, books I like to read, music, clothes, fashion, shoes, TV shows; even the type of environment I like to live in is all drastically different, how I feel about things, my perceptions, beliefs and sense of morality right down to my ethical system; It's all different! Like I said, very few similarities. Who I was before has nothing to do with who I am now. It was a big joke; I was a big joke, a cliche and an actor in the movie called my life. There were no "behind the scenes" for me and I loathed that "thing" I was claiming I was and wanted desperately to kill it permanently. Thankfully today, that "thing" is dead.

Oh, don't get me wrong.  My "fetishes" are really no different and my likes and dislikes have only changed a little bit because some things I really like were once dysphoria triggers.  I can admit I like certain things now without fear of outing myself or catching hell.  The same things that made me tick before are still making me tick.  I still like sports, playing guitar, and the same books and movies.  My religious and political views are the same. I always WANTED to wear a cute dress and look good in it, but now I actually get to.

But, OMG, the difference in my personality is quite marked.  I was depressed, angry, drunk and a moody a*hole all of the time if I didn't have a proper distraction.  I didn't know what "happy" truly was.  My wife would not trade back for the "old me" in a million years.  And yes, I spent a long time attempting to fit in to dudebro culture and faking it.  I got so good at it that I even convinced myself that I was nothing more than a cishetguy, and I had resigned myself to dying a fat, balding, drunken, miserable a*hole. 

HRT was a real game changer.  I'm a happy, laid back girl now, and having shed the burden of faking it 24/7 was like losing the weight of the world off of my shoulders.  I don't need to drink anymore, and people no longer walk on eggshells when they are around me.  I don't remember the last time I lost my temper or was abusive to anyone. (OK, wait, I did punch a guy in the face the week before I got the full dose of HRT, but he was a transphobic douche and really got to me when I was drunk.)  The best thing though is that I no longer fear being 100% honest with myself or anyone else.  No more lies to live.  That in itself is such a relief, and I no longer wish to die young because of it.

I was just hopelessly hiding in boy mode for what seemed forever and wasn't much into anything sexual or fetish wise before since I had such a disconnect with the offending boy parts, now my only "fetish" might be buying too many clothes and cute lingerie things ;)

Quote from: Jill F on June 18, 2014, 01:02:05 PM
Oh, don't get me wrong.  My "fetishes" are really no different and my likes and dislikes have only changed a little bit because some things I really like were once dysphoria triggers.  I can admit I like certain things now without fear of outing myself or catching hell.  The same things that made me tick before are still making me tick.  I still like sports, playing guitar, and the same books and movies.  My religious and political views are the same. I always WANTED to wear a cute dress and look good in it, but now I actually get to.

But, OMG, the difference in my personality is quite marked.  I was depressed, angry, drunk and a moody a*hole all of the time if I didn't have a proper distraction.  I didn't know what "happy" truly was.  My wife would not trade back for the "old me" in a million years.  And yes, I spent a long time attempting to fit in to dudebro culture and faking it.  I got so good at it that I even convinced myself that I was nothing more than a cishetguy, and I had resigned myself to dying a fat, balding, drunken, miserable a*hole. 

HRT was a real game changer.  I'm a happy, laid back girl now, and having shed the burden of faking it 24/7 was like losing the weight of the world off of my shoulders.  I don't need to drink anymore, and people no longer walk on eggshells when they are around me.  I don't remember the last time I lost my temper or was abusive to anyone. (OK, wait, I did punch a guy in the face the week before I got the full dose of HRT, but he was a transphobic douche and really got to me when I was drunk.)  The best thing though is that I no longer fear being 100% honest with myself or anyone else.  No more lies to live.  That in itself is such a relief, and I no longer wish to die young because of it.

All the things you are describing are "part" of one's personality such as "playing the guitar" it's merely an extension of your personality. To put it more simply, personality is about a person's behavioral patterns (e.g. playing guitar makes you happy, or wearing dresses on Sunday, ect) and our expressive emotions, physical attributes, characteristics, thought processes and traits (i.e. You are a kind, compassionate person). All of these things amalgamates into what we call "personality."

i have had a foot/ankle fetish since i was very young, i still have and always will. :)

Quote from: jebee on June 18, 2014, 03:22:03 PM
i have had a foot/ankle fetish since i was very young, i still have and always will. :)

Mine is a foot fetish too, but only on girls and it's doubled edged meaning whomever I am with "has" to have a slight foot fetish AND like my feet and toes or I simply refuse to date them. Man feet disgusts me in the worst possible way. This is partly why I'm so conflicted with dating men or women because it's pretty important (a requirement) that my partner like my feet and toes. I am not into the whole "foot worship" thing; actually that sort of creeps me out, but for a relationship with me to work there has to be some fixation present. How is that for an oddity?

Quote from: Miss Demoness on June 18, 2014, 04:17:13 PMHow is that for an oddity?

BDSM seems to be innocent in comparison...

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on June 18, 2014, 04:30:16 PM
BDSM seems to be innocent in comparison...

I know right?!

Speaking of BDSM, I suppose one difference that took me by surprise since starting HRT is the emergence of my inner domme. Never used to consider myself anything but submissive but occasionally I get that dominating itch with certain people, particularly submissive men. I guess maybe it has something to do with my new-found confidence and sexuality. Like I can actually be in control now. Idk.. it's weird, and I don't indulge in that side of myself much, but it's something that was quite unexpected and can be linked to transitioning.

I've had an older women fetish, still do. I love cougars.

Beyond that or anything odd? Nope. Maybe I admire my feminine shaping self now and the pseudo-fetishism of lesbianism.

BDSM? And torture my lovely me? Kidding me? Evelyn is a such a prude! :P

Edit: Oh yeah. Maybe I have a thing for beautiful pre-op T-Girls now due to familiarity... Well. That's something. I guess my one saving grace is the word I underlined.

Does gaining a shoe fetish count? (nothing sexual, just the need to buy heaps of them and stare for hours at online catalogues lol). I think for me my only real fetishes/kinks were female orientated ones anyway, like pre-HRT, so my dysfunction I get downstairs has no real impact on that(Light BDSM as a sub). But hey its still early for me so who knows things may change  ;)

Prior to HRT, I was heavy into BDSM, especially bondage, chastity and rope. After HRT, it has calmed down a bit, but the interest is still there. (My wife is also a domme and excellent at Florentine Flogging. (There is even a Fetlife Fetish named after her.) I do have some interest in topping now, but still primarily submissive. My favorite BDSM activity is probably being a rope bunny  :)