Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I don't know, I've dreamt about it all my life. It's be a long road just getting to where I am now with the transitioning and changes. I'm very happy that I made it at least this far. I dream and fantasize about being complete every day all day. I think there is hope for me in the near future to get it done. On the other hand I am able to cope and use a very colorful imagination which the HRT is helping immensely . I happen to be hard wired bi so I am able to manage without the complete anatomy , but it definitely would be incredibly blissful to walk down the street in a beautiful dress and be totally complete. Or to be sitting in a bar  and get hit on by a handsome man and end up naked in his arms.

Very. It's for myself and for whoever I'm dating.

I'll definitely be getting the surgery because I need to have a vagina, I can't live with a dick my whole life tbh

But I also want it because I wanna have sex with guys, you know? I don't tell people that as much because the last time I did, my trans friend shamed me for it and later told me she wishes I'd become a lesbian

Sigh

Having spent my formative years as an outcast, for me transitioning has always been and still is about acceptance. I have since learned that self acceptance is so much more an important aspect then having achieved my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman. Without some measure of self acceptance I have never been able to accept, much less appreciate, any of the gifts I have received in my life.

The dangly bits were never a driver in my life. Sure, I wish I never had them. Yet, we have had some good to great times together. For now I believe GRS is not in my future. Yet again, a few years ago I would have said the same thing about thoughts of transitioning.

As for me when the time comes and I'll get a paper with title like "Informed Agreement with Sex Reassignment Surgery" I'll 100% ask for vaginoplasty. I simply can't withstand that mess between my legs to be satisfied with orchidectomy which is sufficient for a legal sex conversion here in Czech. Plus how could I start a relationship without the correct parts? That will the challenge number 2 after this is done :-) .

Also once all is nicely healed up the first thing I'm going to do is taking at least a two week vacation in a certain aquapark in eastern Slovakia as swimming is one of the activities I also truly look forward to :-) .

Still, all that will have to wait. My guess is I'll get my SRS during fall in 2015 and the corrective labiaplasty 2-4 months later. So everything will be all ready for spring 2016 :-) .

I don't know how I feel about it, like I want it... but I don't know his much of that feeling is what I actually feel and how much of it is just... well as embarrassing as it is to say... a sexual fetish. I've kinda given myself fur years to decide/ save the money to try and figure it out :/


I know that ^ sounds weird, but Its my honest opinion

My FFS is more monumental and I'm having that done this year or early next year. From certain angles I'm passable, but I need some work done. SRS/GRS is a close second, and I have recently been doing research on surgeons here in the US based on cost and travel distance.

Quote from: Christine Eryn on June 21, 2014, 10:50:19 AM
My FFS is more monumental and I'm having that done this year or early next year. From certain angles I'm passable, but I need some work done. SRS/GRS is a close second, and I have recently been doing research on surgeons here in the US based on cost and travel distance.

there are two female surgeons in the US that I'm going to choose from

Any doubt, don't.

Quote from: stephaniec on June 21, 2014, 10:55:32 AM
there are two female surgeons in the US that I'm going to choose from

Do tell! I had Dr. Bowers in the back of my mind for years as I visited Colorado many times, that was until she moved to San Francisco! :( I recently discovered this doctor:

http://www.srsmiami.com/MTF-male-to-female.html

Although I haven't heard too much buzz about him. Also considering Dr. McGinn, but she's way up in PA.

good to know

It got more and more important the more I fixed about my life and body - once I was fully transitioned and everything else was what I'd hoped, it began to really gnaw at me. Of course, I only had the one surgery (GRS) so I guess by definition it was priority 1. :)

I did have some doubts, actually, but I know myself well enough to know I second-guess myself about *everything,* and that I'd be happy afterwards. (Which I am, blissfully so.)

It's very important to me, but like Christine FFS is even more important. It's going to be hard for me to feel comfortable integrating socially as a woman when I don't feel like I pass as one.

I tell myself I don't care what others think, but I know that to some extent I do. I realize it's by far more important to being accepting of myself and loving of who I am. But isn't a part of our identity derived from our relations to the others around us? Sometimes the perceptions and reactions of others will break through and affect the person I have inside no matter how well I've protected myself.

Because of this GRS is definitely on the long term goals list, but FFS is the more pressing. I don't want to have to worry as much about whether others are clocking me or whether I'm going to be in danger of ridicule or violence because they aren't accepting of who I am.

I have to have it! No if's, and's or nut's! ;D

i'd say it'll become important to me in the next 5-7 year unless.......well you get the picture  :laugh:

Not important at all. I've learned to appreciate what I have, like I think many people my age do the deeper into transition we get. Who I am is not what's between my legs. And hey, more guys want the MtFs they date to have what I have than a vagina. And I'm not the type of person who would feel comfortable keeping my history a secret from partners

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 21, 2014, 02:15:07 PM
unless.......well you get the picture  :laugh:

Not really. Decline of the Western Economy, zombie apocalypse or what?

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 21, 2014, 02:38:56 PM
Not really. Decline of the Western Economy, zombie apocalypse or what?

hahaha! zombie apocalypse, thats a good one  ;D but no, i just dont think its important to me enough to go full-time immediately with that goal in mind only to find out that i would do more damage instead of easing in and taking one step at a time

I am getting a bit too obsessed with the FFS budget, I have a lot of bills, and want to get it done ASAP, say next year. I feel it's so important, I've to do whatever under legal and healthy limits to get the $$ ready. I really want to go full time and pass full time, I think it's paramount to me, and I will never get there without proper FFS. SRS, well, IDK, I guess it can wait, let's go one thing at a time.

I'll be honest.  I don't know the answer yet.

I am currently 98% sure it's happening.  If there's a chance I can get by without it, then great.  I can spare myself the money, hospitalization, risk of complications, dilation schedule and regular maintenance.

I won't know until after the orchi.  If that can be enough for me, then that's great.  End of story.  I will just buy a new car to replace my 2003 Honda Pilot or get some more vintage Fenders instead.

The thing is that I still think about wanting it done several times every day.  If my figure goes from 98% to 99.9%, then I plan to get it done in early 2016.  I think that's more than enough time to mull it over and have the funds set aside.

It was pretty important and alleviated my gender dysphoria issues almost immediately.

I don't feel I need it to be a woman at all

Vital. I have never felt like the equipment I was born with belonged there, and it causes me no end of grief.
I want to be whole, and to have a chance at a normal life like any other woman.

It's really important for me - it represents a borderline between 'transitioning to a woman' and 'living as a woman - a line after which I have nothing to fear - no guillotine hanging over my head from finances or an ill-aimed eye revealing my secrets. I can do anything now a normal woman could and never have to tell a soul my secret. It's over - I'm done - and that means the world to me.

Quote from: ZoeM on June 21, 2014, 05:24:38 PM
It's really important for me - it represents a borderline between 'transitioning to a woman' and 'living as a woman - a line after which I have nothing to fear - no guillotine hanging over my head from finances or an ill-aimed eye revealing my secrets. I can do anything now a normal woman could and never have to tell a soul my secret. It's over - I'm done - and that means the world to me.

good for you. each day I feel more confident in taking that step

Quote from: ZoeM on June 21, 2014, 05:24:38 PM
It's really important for me - it represents a borderline between 'transitioning to a woman' and 'living as a woman - a line after which I have nothing to fear - no guillotine hanging over my head from finances or an ill-aimed eye revealing my secrets. I can do anything now a normal woman could and never have to tell a soul my secret. It's over - I'm done - and that means the world to me.

I feel you here. I felt the same way except I seen it as a abnormal cellular mass affixed to my crotch, an alien flap of skin dangling about tormenting me; infecting my body like a parasite and haunting me like death. The first time I reached down and felt it gone I smiled...the pain made me happy for the first time in my miserable life. It was a good pain!

Life to me isn't worth living without it. I've dreamt of, and have needed to be whole all my life. For me it's an absolute necessity. I'm so repulsed of what's there now I can't be intimate with anyone beyond cuddling. I can't even stand to touch the thing. It should never have been there. Also, life without SRS would condemn me to a life alone. So again, without it life isn't worth living.

Ally :icon_flower:

Quote from: ZoeM on June 21, 2014, 05:24:38 PM
It's really important for me - it represents a borderline between 'transitioning to a woman' and 'living as a woman - a line after which I have nothing to fear - no guillotine hanging over my head from finances or an ill-aimed eye revealing my secrets. I can do anything now a normal woman could and never have to tell a soul my secret. It's over - I'm done - and that means the world to me.

This is absolutely me too, very well put Zoe :) Add that to the fact that I grew up right beside the sea in New Zealand, and we are all about the ocean here. Being in the sea has almost religious significance to me, the amount of evenings I've spent out beyond the breakers watching the sun set in an almost ecstasy of awe.. I do not want any physical bits hanging around that could affect my confidence or enjoyment of the beach and ocean whenever I choose to enjoy it.. It might sound strange to many, but it is very important to me.

A complete necessity. What is there now has brought me nothing but pain and misery over the years.

If you had asked me this question at the beginning of transition, I would have said that it was the most important thing in the world to me, possibly even more important than the social transition itself. I had severe bodily dysphoria, so much so that I actually attempted freezing my own genitals in ice around age 16, and constantly had (happy) dreams about cutting the damned thing off.

Shockingly, though, transitioning has significantly eased my genital dysphoria. Having smooth skin and hips and a feminine body shape has made it much more bearable, and HRT cutting my sex-drive down to basically nothing has made it such that I really don't think about it that much anymore. (Erections are my primary source of genital dysphoria, so now that I don't have to worry about that AT ALL anymore, it's not as big of a deal.) It still does bother me, mainly just because tucking is a pain in the butt, it severely limits my swimsuit options, interferes with my ability to fully see a girl in the mirror, makes me a bit nervous of being "found out," especially when I'm using the bathroom, and I'm sure if I was actually in a sexual relationship it would be a HUGE deal, but at the moment it's really not something that makes me miserable every day anymore. Most of the time I'm able to ignore it. So SRS has dropped down from being my #1 priority to just being something that I'm hoping that at one point I can get in the future.

My #1 priority now is seeing a girl in the mirror, and being able to just live as a girl without worrying about it anymore. I'll start worrying about SRS again once that's out of the way.

Possibly unsurprisingly, Carrie, having a vagina really helps with seeing a girl in the mirror. :)

Quote from: ZoeM on June 21, 2014, 08:54:45 PM
Possibly unsurprisingly, Carrie, having a vagina really helps with seeing a girl in the mirror. :)

+1, I agree. There's absolutely no way I'll be able to see a whole girl in the mirror until after I've had my SRS. In addition, I have a boat which I enjoy very much, and I enjoy water sports very much and until after my SRS I'll never be able to wear a proper swimsuit no matter how good my body looks. What's there now causes me dysphoria to the verge of depression by me just knowing it shouldn't be there sex drive or no sex drive.

Carrie you look amazing and I admire your ability to ignore (I apologize if not the right word) it enough to feel as great about yourself as you do before SRS.

Ally :icon_flower:

As things stand now, not important at all. Probably an orchi but that's just to get rid of my ability to make T.

As long as there is the dilation requirement I don't see me getting SRS. Yeah I'd prefer a vagina, but I just can't be controlled by my genitals again like I was before I began HRT. I think going to back to anything resembling that, would be outright torturous as I so enjoy my freedom to enjoy my life now.

Also, with respect to Zoe, I live the life of the woman I am every day my body as is. Yeah, I have legacy stuff in the mirror but what gets reflected there doesn't detract from my womanhood one iota.

Yes, but it's not my priority at the moment. Looking to mid 2016 as the likely time frame.

Currently, I'm sort of on the fence. I was never that dysphoric about just having male genitals, but I have always had strong feelings that I would have preferred female ones, and I don't think I could ever be comfortable having sex in the role of a male. But since I've been on HRT my sex drive has been negligible, so I don't feel an immediate need to have the procedure done. If and when I am satisfied with the progress I've made transitioning to the point where I feel like I want to start dating, it's something I would strongly consider. But for now, I am much more focused on getting the rest of my body to a place I can live with. Well, that being said, if there was a procedure that could give me a complete functioning female reproductive system, I would do it without hesitation. It's just that the current procedure available is less than ideal, and the whole dilation thing sounds pretty awful. It's just not worth it to me unless I feel a tangible need to have it done. I am however planning to get an orchiectomy in the near future, because I can't stand the thought of having anything in my body that could potentially reduce the progress I've made, and make me feel the way I used to before I started HRT.

Quote from: Allyda on June 21, 2014, 10:58:06 PM
Carrie you look amazing and I admire your ability to ignore (I apologize if not the right word) it enough to feel as great about yourself as you do before SRS.

Ally :icon_flower:

Thanks, but trust me, I do NOT feel "great" about myself. I think you misinterpereted the part where I said I had to worry about seeing a girl in the mirror first before I could worry about SRS. (Meaning I still don't see a girl in the mirror. I just see someone who is maybe androgynously-femaleish at best, and really blatantly clockable as trans.) Basically, I've got bigger problems to worry about that are making SRS seem like less of a priority.

Quote from: ZoeM on June 21, 2014, 08:54:45 PM
Possibly unsurprisingly, Carrie, having a vagina really helps with seeing a girl in the mirror. :)

Still wouldn't help with seeing a girl in the mirror when I have clothes on, though... :( I still can't even do that. Honestly, I don't even think a vagina would look right on my body at this point. Not with my bone structure and face and hair like it is...

Quote from: Carrie Liz on June 21, 2014, 11:55:49 PM
Thanks, but trust me, I do NOT feel "great" about myself. I think you misinterpereted the part where I said I had to worry about seeing a girl in the mirror first before I could worry about SRS. (Meaning I still don't see a girl in the mirror. I just see someone who is maybe androgynously-femaleish at best, and really blatantly clockable as trans.) Basically, I've got bigger problems to worry about that are making SRS seem like less of a priority.

Sorry if I misunderstood Carrie. This is a very touchy subject for me. Being intersexed and identifying as female since I was a toddler, looking much more like a girl than a boy, plus my very feminine manurisms made being forced to act like and live as a boy a living hell. Up until I went full time 5 years ago I've lived between genders my entire life always physically and mentally favoring the female me, the only me, and despite this having to live as a male made me sick inside in a way that's very hard to describe. I won't go further into the darker side of my life so as not to repeat my early posts, and not depress anyone. All I've ever wanted, or longed for is to be a normal girl with normal girl parts both inside and out. And, I've just waited sooooo long to be finally whole. I won't repeat my words in my earlier replies as I believe you get the idea how much my having my SRS means to me.

Again I'm sorry for misunderstanding your words.

Best wishes, always. :icon_bunch:

Ally :icon_flower:

I am devoting as much time and effort as I can to get to that wonderful day when I board that plane to Thailand...fund raising, begging, borrowing and stealing to get the money I need.

Requiring 12 months of living full time a as woman, before I can get an NHS letter of referral for SRS, was one of the main considerations that pushed me to start full time so early.

I wish I didn't feel this way, and that I could honestly say to myself "Hey, it's not what's between your legs that matters, you can be a woman without SRS". And I do firmly believe that statement...if you have the mental strength and ability to feel that way without SRS I am genuinely envious of you.

But personally, if I am honest with myself, I feel like my life is on hold, or at least greatly restricted, until I can get things "properly re-calibrated" down stairs... >.>

I'm tired of having to tuck my genetic shame away so nobody can see it...I wish I had the option to wear more tight fitting clothes without fear of a bulge...I miss going swimming and exercising in public...I am fed up of "relieving tension" in a manner I find disgusting and that most often leaves me feeling depressed after...I want to be able to engage in a sexual relationship with a new partner, and not feel the need to inform them pre-coitus of what "surprises" lay in store...and I don't want to look in the mirror every morning and see this...thing taunting me...a grim reminder of a painful past I want to leave behind.

Yeah...for me SRS is exceptionally important. It's my big goal, like a final trial before I can get my own mental "Woman Driver's Licence"...

Of course like we all know...it's only in the years after you pass your driving test that you REALLY learn how to drive, and I reckon having SRS will be no different ^^'

entirely important, it's for me and how I feel about myself, I want to be able to put a swimming cozzie on and go for a swim without the need for any tucking, taping, folding and hiding what should not be there

When I started my transition in the fall of last year the idea of getting GRS was a hazy thing that was way out in there somewhere in my future; I didn't spend much time thinking about it because it just wasn't important to me at that time. I had many, many other hills to climb before I needed to be worried about GRS. I wasn't out that much en femme and I could make do with the equipment I was born with.

Now that i'm into my transition and i'm spending far more time as the authentic me it's jarring to see that thing down there, and it a pain to always have to hide it. I always worry about having a bulge when wearing certain clothes - especially skirts. Additionally, I think that my prospects for dating are very slim with it still there; I identify mainly as a lesbian (although I find myself leaning a little bit toward pansexual these days) and having that appendage just will not work in any intimate situation that I can imagine. Dating someone that is interested in me only because I still have the thing is a complete non-starter.

The importance of GRS has risen significantly to me as my life situation has changed. I've just got to figure out a way to come up with the funds for GRS.

(I will say that dilation has ended up being much less of a deal than I expected... it was a thing that took over my life for the first couple months, sure, but now that I've finally managed to get down to 15 minutes once a week, it's a mildly annoying chore that takes less effort and time than doing the dishes. And if I were having sex with a guy at least once a week, I could stop even that much. :) )

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 22, 2014, 10:45:16 AM
(I will say that dilation has ended up being much less of a deal than I expected... it was a thing that took over my life for the first couple months, sure, but now that I've finally managed to get down to 15 minutes once a week, it's a mildly annoying chore that takes less effort and time than doing the dishes. And if I were having sex with a guy at least once a week, I could stop even that much. :) )

good to know

it was everything to me, the first thing I did upon waking from SRS was lift the covers to make sure it was gone.  For the first time in my life I was able to smile after doing that.

Quote from: Ducks on June 22, 2014, 02:21:39 PM
it was everything to me, the first thing I did upon waking from SRS was lift the covers to make sure it was gone.  For the first time in my life I was able to smile after doing that.

Oh I so much long for the day I can do that. I'm veeeeery happy for you.

Ally :icon_flower:

For me in my transition right now at this point I've never felt more normal than right now but to feel a 100% whole it's a absolute must and for the longest time I thought it could never happened but now it soon will be a reality.

Not at all important.  I may end up getting an orchiectomy, but the full surgery is never going to happen.  My dysphoria has never really been about what's between my legs, but instead with how people interact with me in my daily life.  If I pass as female with my clothes on, I'll be good to go.

Quote from: __________ on June 22, 2014, 04:17:49 PM
Not at all important.  I may end up getting an orchiectomy, but the full surgery is never going to happen.  My dysphoria has never really been about what's between my legs, but instead with how people interact with me in my daily life.  If I pass as female with my clothes on, I'll be good to go.

As Unknown poster put it, not important to me. I'm fairly older, turned 60 this year, married and staying that way, and while I'd much rather have been born with the proper equipment, and/or wave the ole magic want and *poof*, that's not going to happen. I'm old enough to have some surgeries on my body - mostly knees - but I know I want to avoid as much voluntary surgery as possible. I don't hate my junk, Mr. Happy and I have had some fun times over the years. My main complaint with him is the night time erections being incredibly annoying. And with HRT, that should go away. But you never say never. Life is a journey and at this waystation, the answer is no.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 22, 2014, 10:45:16 AM
(I will say that dilation has ended up being much less of a deal than I expected... it was a thing that took over my life for the first couple months, sure, but now that I've finally managed to get down to 15 minutes once a week, it's a mildly annoying chore that takes less effort and time than doing the dishes. And if I were having sex with a guy at least once a week, I could stop even that much. :) )

Even at 15 minutes once a week I find my mind still won't entertain the idea. The months where it's more frequent, I just don't want to depart from my life for that long. I missed 34 years, I don't want to give up any more time than I have to.

What's most important is I don't see how SRS would change my day to day life at all, let alone for the better.

But, maybe a purely cosmetic thing would be ok for me cause I don't have a use for depth and ain't that the biggest problem here? I mean, it would be nice to have something that met expectations when I'm naked. I have no idea if anything like that even exists so if anyone does know, let me know please.

Quote from: __________ on June 22, 2014, 04:17:49 PM
Not at all important.  I may end up getting an orchiectomy, but the full surgery is never going to happen.  My dysphoria has never really been about what's between my legs, but instead with how people interact with me in my daily life.  If I pass as female with my clothes on, I'll be good to go.

I thought this until last year when I finally went full time and applied for my Civil Identity Change. I'm still not obsessed about what's between my legs but from the moment I visualized myself with all of my official documents, including my birth certificate, saying that I was a female, it was obvious to me that I couldn't go to the end of my life as I was. GRS became a must and, interestingly, even my wife fully understands that.
I have also learned since, from others who went into GRS with a similar, practical mindset, that the psychological change that comes with this surgery is much bigger than you might expect. So, for me, eight weeks to go and counting down!

Quote from: Donna E on June 22, 2014, 04:53:19 PM
I thought this until last year when I finally went full time and applied for my Civil Identity Change. I'm still not obsessed about what's between my legs but from the moment I visualized myself with all of my official documents, including my birth certificate, saying that I was a female, it was obvious to me that I couldn't go to the end of my life as I was. GRS became a must and, interestingly, even my wife fully understands that.
I have also learned since, from others who went into GRS with a similar, practical mindset, that the psychological change that comes with this surgery is much bigger than you might expect. So, for me, eight weeks to go and counting down!

best wishes

Yes, there are some surgeons who will do a cosmetically perfect, sensate vulva with only a 1" or so vaginal "dimple" that doesn't require dilation. It's less common, but it's not unheard of.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 22, 2014, 05:59:58 PM
Yes, there are some surgeons who will do a cosmetically perfect, sensate vulva with only a 1" or so vaginal "dimple" that doesn't require dilation. It's less common, but it's not unheard of.

Well, I gotta start with figuring out who would help me out here. I've been interested enough in the idea to actually want to do some Googling (vs feeling it was something I had to do) but having trouble finding current information. :/

........................................

Misato : Well, I know for a fact Brassard does it, from seeing it on his patient information when I signed the contract.  I have also heard that McGinn and Suporn will. You might want to contact surgeons directly if you want the most up to date information...

The big surgery is my dream. I don't know if I'll ever reach it...maybe I need to get myself out there and find me a sugar daddy, but then I'd most likely have to dish out. Eh, ick, okay, I can wait. How could ever think that, mind is in the gutter right now.  :o

I have to have what's between my legs be right, otherwise I'll never be completely right with myself. I'll always have to look at it, always have to continue to hide it, and never ever become intimate with anyone as I wouldn't allow it to happen until I have the right part. Hormones will put me in a more balanced state of mind and keep me somewhat feminized in looks, tracheal shave would give me more confidence that I wouldn't fear anymore with my adam's apple giving me away as trans, having my nuts removed would get rid of much of that testosterone production so the estrogen could flow through me without resistance against an opposing force, but the big surgery, that would make me whole, at least as whole as I'm going to get in this life, and that's enough for me.

Quote from: Megan Joanne on June 22, 2014, 07:42:14 PM
The big surgery is my dream. I don't know if I'll ever reach it...maybe I need to get myself out there and find me a sugar daddy, but then I'd most likely have to dish out. Eh, ick, okay, I can wait. How could ever think that, mind is in the gutter right now.  :o

I have to have what's between my legs be right, otherwise I'll never be completely right with myself. I'll always have to look at it, always have to continue to hide it, and never ever become intimate with anyone as I wouldn't allow it to happen until I have the right part. Hormones will put me in a more balanced state of mind and keep me somewhat feminized in looks, tracheal shave would give me more confidence that I wouldn't fear anymore with my adam's apple giving me away as trans, having my nuts removed would get rid of much of that testosterone production so the estrogen could flow through me without resistance against an opposing force, but the big surgery, that would make me whole, at least as whole as I'm going to get in this life, and that's enough for me.

It would definitely feel so right. This thing I have now is definitely not right and never has felt right.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 22, 2014, 07:03:28 PM
Misato : Well, I know for a fact Brassard does it, from seeing it on his patient information when I signed the contract.  I have also heard that McGinn and Suporn will. You might want to contact surgeons directly if you want the most up to date information...

Ain't this been a heckuva day for me?

I gotta do a lot more thinking and research about this first.

Still, thanks much.

Quote from: __________ on June 22, 2014, 04:17:49 PM
My dysphoria has never really been about what's between my legs, but instead with how people interact with me in my daily life.  If I pass as female with my clothes on, I'll be good to go.

This is mostly how I feel about it too. I still want to get the surgery done, but it's mostly so that the sofa will match the wallpaper. (Did I break another metaphor?) It will be nice to get rid of something that's mostly in the way, but my social transition is already done. And that was always the important part for me.

If "the big surgery" means full SRS then it is not as important as it once was.  Sure, it would be great to have full female parts (labia, vagina, clitoris, etc.); but since I don't have any intention to have sex with a man and due to my age less could be acceptable.

The minimum acceptable could be total removal of the penis, scrotum, and testicles with a proper urethra relocation like a female.  Also, body and facial feminization to the a passable degree so I could present as female on occasion without question. 

However, labia would be nice for effect and to limit splashing.

It's very important to me.
I have cravings, that I can't really take care of, and being a hetro female I need the right parts.  Or, let me put it this way, if I can't have surgery then I may as well be dead.

It's the very last thing on my list of things to obtain.

There are sooooooooo many more important things than that to take care of.

Dilation won't bother me a bit. When I have my SRS I'll dilate til I'm blue in the face if I have to, lol! I'll do whatever it takes to have my SRS. It means everything to me. Hell, if they didn't need the tissue I'd have cut what's there off a long time ago and maybe used it for fish bait. I used to have my SO to keep reminding me they need the tissue to  make my vagina. Now that she and I are broke up, who knows, I may have a date with the emergency room parking lot and my fillet knife........................... if something goes wrong with my insurance coverage.

Ally :icon_flower:

Quote from: Allyda on June 25, 2014, 05:45:29 PM
Dilation won't bother me a bit. When I have my SRS I'll dilate til I'm blue in the face if I have to, lol! I'll do whatever it takes to have my SRS. It means everything to me. Hell, if they didn't need the tissue I'd have cut what's there off a long time ago and maybe used it for fish bait. I used to have my SO to keep reminding me they need the tissue to  make my vagina. Now that she and I are broke up, who knows, I may have a date with the emergency room parking lot and my fillet knife.

Ally :icon_flower:

ouch! I know the feeling though

Quote from: stephaniec on June 25, 2014, 05:51:30 PM
ouch! I know the feeling though

Glad you understand how I feel. I can't stand to look at, or even touch the repulsive thing. My insurance is covering my SRS though, so I edited it to include"..........if something goes wrong with my insurance coverage."

Ally :icon_flower:

Right now I'm so disgusted with the gross worm between my legs that I can't see this not happening at some point. As others have mentioned, at one point I wanted to cut it off. While I've always been grossed out by it, its gotten worse since I realized who I am.

Its not a big deal to me at all as I feel infinitely better just starting HRT and living full time.  As of right now, I'm not going to be getting the surgery, most likely orchie, but not GRS.  In the future, I may change my mind, but now I'm fine with downstairs.  Now my head hair, you betcha Ill do something about that!

I can relate to all of you feeling this way. Many of us are hoping for that miracle money coming in for the surgery. If I won the big lottery, there would be no doubt on getting the SRS done. Hopefully enough money to get all the necessary surgery to become as passable as possible, including the voice surgery. I can tolerate the male organ, which I affectionately refer to as the "clit" and the other ones as the "ovaries" just so I can fantasize it in a way to get me through life the way I am. At my middle age, it is the only way to survive this gender mistake thing. It was a long, long time to suffer through it, but I have gotten this far, in any case. And why do they call it "middle age?" That would make me to live to 128, lol!

Quote from: Emily King on June 25, 2014, 10:15:18 AM
It's very important to me.
I have cravings, that I can't really take care of, and being a hetro female I need the right parts.  Or, let me put it this way, if I can't have surgery then I may as well be dead.

HANG IN THERE - YOU WILL SURVIVE AND MAKE IT.

I first realized that I had the wrong parts over 60 years ago.  The time was not right then to do anything about it and I have not had any real opportunity since then. I would still like to loose those currently unneeded things but the opportunity isn't there for me.

I'd say the big surgery is definitely very important to me, eventually. I'm not in a huge rush yet, but of course the sooner the better. Also, if for some reason my doctors recommend against it for reasonable medical risk, then it probably won't be the end of the world, just very dissapointing.

I fantasized abut having a properly functioning vagina at least since I was 13 (before I had any idea what one looked like) so it has pretty much been a (half) lifelong dream even though I didn't realize I was trans until this year.

I don't even think about GRS now. I had an orchi a few years ago, so I'm good.

I'm teaching myself Spanish and plan to travel to Chile or Argentina to have GRS as the cost is significantly lower, not to mention the favorable exchange rates. I'll prolly travel on my own as that's how the situation looks now, but maybe not. IDK. I'll prolly have my nose down down there too, unless I can get insurance to cover it given it was broken in the past and I have a deviated septum. It' snot neccessary but it's a teeny bit crooked and points down from the incident(s) that turned what was once a cute little nose into this. It only points down when I smile from the loss of cartilage strength.

So, yeah I guess the surgery is important. But I'm in the camp that it isn't a surgery for everyone and if you have doubts, don't do it. A post-op trans woman, pre-op trans woman and non-op trans woman are all the same to me: women.

Prior to and in the immediate period following my coming out, it was hugely important to me, and I couldn't even look at that area of my body. But I feel like it's not quite such a big deal now that I've been on HRT for a few years, as a lot of my dysphoria has ebbed away with the other changes to my body and my complete acceptance as a woman, and just knowing that so long as I remain on HRT, I'm never going to get any more masculine than I am right now makes living with the genitalia I was born with a lot easier in the short term. ^^ It's still absolutely something that I want in my long term future, though, for a vast selection of reasons which include pure dysphoria, wanting to reduce the amount of pills I'm taking every day, the fact that my newfound sexual and romantic attraction post hormones seems to be targeted at guys, the desire for less anxiety using female changing rooms and facilities, and even just simple things like wanting to wear tight fitting clothes without hassle and being interested in visiting Japanese hot springs sometime. So I guess basically... uh... really important, but not life or death anymore.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 22, 2014, 12:44:13 PM
A post-op trans woman, pre-op trans woman and non-op trans woman are all the same to me: women.

I feel the same way, we're all women regardless of status of transition, prior and beyond.

Allie :icon_flower:

It means everything to me. I won't see myself as myself until I have "gone all the way" because I have never seen myself as any other way even though my anatomy does no match right now with my brain it will one day.

This is a different question for me now. I've been on HRT for 9 months . My mind has felt so much more normal then it did for my whole life. I think  every nanosecond of having the proper anatomy. the problem for me is my age, whether the time left on the planet make it logical to do the operation. If this path was shown to me 10 years ago , yeah go for it. but now I don't know. If I could do it within the next year , yeah it be worth it., the thing is as long as I'm changing and progressing to look totally female I feel so much better then I ever have. I'd truly would love to be totally correct, but given my age maybe it's not an absolute necessity. Maybe I can achieve a true sense of womanhood without the remodeling and maybe  I can't. To be honest I'm very confused at the moment.

Quote from: stephaniec on July 22, 2014, 09:13:12 PM
This is a different question for me now. I've been on HRT for 9 months . My mind has felt so much more normal then it did for my whole life. I think  every nanosecond of having the proper anatomy. the problem for me is my age, whether the time left on the planet make it logical to do the operation. If this path was shown to me 10 years ago , yeah go for it. but now I don't know. If I could do it within the next year , yeah it be worth it., the thing is as long as I'm changing and progressing to look totally female I feel so much better then I ever have. I'd truly would love to be totally correct, but given my age maybe it's not an absolute necessity. Maybe I can achieve a true sense of womanhood without the remodeling and maybe  I can't. To be honest I'm very confused at the moment.

I also happen to be sitting in a bar right now drinking tequila sunrises so I'm  not all that clear headed.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on June 21, 2014, 08:51:40 PM
If you had asked me this question at the beginning of transition, I would have said that it was the most important thing in the world to me, possibly even more important than the social transition itself. I had severe bodily dysphoria, so much so that I actually attempted freezing my own genitals in ice around age 16, and constantly had (happy) dreams about cutting the damned thing off.

Shockingly, though, transitioning has significantly eased my genital dysphoria. Having smooth skin and hips and a feminine body shape has made it much more bearable, and HRT cutting my sex-drive down to basically nothing has made it such that I really don't think about it that much anymore. (Erections are my primary source of genital dysphoria, so now that I don't have to worry about that AT ALL anymore, it's not as big of a deal.) It still does bother me, mainly just because tucking is a pain in the butt, it severely limits my swimsuit options, interferes with my ability to fully see a girl in the mirror, makes me a bit nervous of being "found out," especially when I'm using the bathroom, and I'm sure if I was actually in a sexual relationship it would be a HUGE deal, but at the moment it's really not something that makes me miserable every day anymore. Most of the time I'm able to ignore it. So SRS has dropped down from being my #1 priority to just being something that I'm hoping that at one point I can get in the future.

My #1 priority now is seeing a girl in the mirror, and being able to just live as a girl without worrying about it anymore. I'll start worrying about SRS again once that's out of the way.

Carrie, I agree with you completely.  Socially, most of my friends are straight.  They all treat me as a woman. They introduce me as a female to other friends, and so far I've had huge acceptance. 

To me, I don't know that I'll ever really need it to validate who I am.  Had I been 20 years younger when I began transitioning, maybe I'd see things differently. But beginning at age 39, and never having kids, nor being able to give birth, I don't feel bad about it. But I don't blame any of my sisters here for needing the surgery.  More power to you.

Hm... I don't want to say I never want it... I mean I have days where I want it more than anything... but idk... I'm also kinda actually happy with my bits. I mean it's more everything else that is the problem. For as much trouble as that part of me has caused me... idk, I still feel sexy and confident with it still... and idk, maybe some day I'll want SRS, but I don't know, technology is moving so fast in the medical field that I'm fine waiting.

I know for myself it's a necessity. I'm never gonna feel truly at peace till I do. 

Previously I would have said very important but not essential for me to function in society. However, the experience last week of finally feeling cured has been the most profoundly positive and fulfilling of my life.

I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

SRS is by far the more painful event. :-( For me it is like the dot on i. I am not finished until I had SRS. In three months when everything is healed I can just take a shower in the gym. With a feminine face and a vagina I will pass even with my maleish body, I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 07:22:31 AM
I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

SRS is by far the more painful event. :-( For me it is like the dot on i. I am not finished until I had SRS. In three months when everything is healed I can just take a shower in the gym. With a feminine face and a vagina I will pass even with my maleish body, I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

Yes, it would be great to be able to shower in the women's showers and to be able to use the women's restrooms.

You can use the women's restroom a lot sooner than that. :)

(I actually even showered in a women's gym pre-op. Emergency situation [literally, it was a tornado] and I was panicky as heck, but I did just fine; women's rooms only *very* rarely have those open showers where everybody's in the same room. In fact, my situation was about as bad as it gets, since it was a high school gym and they'd taken the shower curtains off... still nobody noticed anything because I was paranoid-careful.)

Quote from: Samantha007 on July 22, 2014, 09:14:55 AM
Well, those ones are called ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, not straight guys who would appreciate you for your femininity. They are guys who like mtf's just because of their love for penis. I am a  post-op woman, and I don't get any of the ->-bleeped-<-s (thank god for little favours!). A guy who likes me for my hated parts can have a hike, but again, I don't have any hated parts right now. I have something -among other things- that attracts the right guys for me. If a guy likes me, then it would be a straight guy. I never tell them about my history, and that is my choice and prerogative.

hugs,

Samantha xx

Well I want what's between his legs.  Does that make me a ->-bleeped-<-?  ;D

This is something that crosses my mind every now and again, the amount of variety of opinions and desires between us always surprises me. For me, it just seemed so cut and dry. "Do you a penis?" No, easy question. "Do you want a vagina" yes, easy question again. However the levels of annoyance the anotomy causes kind of fluctuates, but ultimately it's just a question of ho much pain (and money) am I willing to deal with to get the end result I desire. I suppose I could live without it if it just never became an option for me. But it would always nag at me and be a constant bother. So if I can find the money, and mental fortitude to deal with the pain, I believe I will go through with it.

The pain is really an issue for me. I did not expect that it is so painful. But I avoided to think too much about it vefire the surgery. Because I do not wanted to make a descision based on fear. I am very sure I will be lucky woman in the future, I identify myself as a woman.
I am happy that I had SRS two weeks ago. I am pretty sure in a few weeks the joy will be much larger than the pain. Currently my feelings are mixed. After having FFS I wad euphoric during the next days and weeks. I think SRS will have a positive long-term effect on my mood.

Lara

Do they give you prescription grade pain killers for that?

Yes but I do not want to take too much painkillers. Two weeks after surgery I am pain free when I wake up but dilation causes much pain. Tomorrow I will be released from hospital and I am pretty sure to feel better when I am at home. I will be more relaxed which makes dilation more comfortable.

Lara

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 12:15:50 PM
Yes but I do not want to take too much painkillers. Two weeks after surgery I am pain free when I wake up but dilation causes much pain. Tomorrow I will be released from hospital and I am pretty sure to feel better when I am at home. I will be more relaxed which makes dilation more comfortable.

Lara

thanks for the information

Quote from: TaoRaven on June 21, 2014, 04:49:57 PM
Vital. I have never felt like the equipment I was born with belonged there, and it causes me no end of grief.
I want to be whole, and to have a chance at a normal life like any other woman.

Perfectly said.

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 07:22:31 AM
I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

SRS is by far the more painful event. :-( For me it is like the dot on i. I am not finished until I had SRS. In three months when everything is healed I can just take a shower in the gym. With a feminine face and a vagina I will pass even with my maleish body, I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

My gender markers have been changed to female on my driver's license and all my other documents so I'm now safe in doing so but I've been using women's rest rooms for years now. This doesn't negate my desperate need for my SRS which I'll be having before the end of the year most likely in December. My level of genital dysphoria demands I have SRS. I've not only waited long enough, but have been alone far too long, and it's impossible for me to have the level of intimacy I need from a relationship without it. So for me despite how I look and how far I've come SRS means everything.

Allie :icon_flower:

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 23, 2014, 07:22:31 AM
I had FFS in March and two weeks ago SRS. FFS was by far the larger step for me. I know pass nearly 100%. My largest challenge is still my voice but I work on it.

I am only a few months on low dose HRT and only one months on full HRT.

Lara

I am curious about this. I thought you needed a year of hormones before you could get SRS.

I'm really glad that I had the orchi.  I feel like the dark cloud that once followed me everywhere has been completely obliterated.  I can't believe how happy I am, and knowing that this feeling will never go away is nothing short of amazing.

Here's the thing though- I'm now 99% sure about needing SRS. 

Funny, this is something I've been thinking about a lot of late.  Particularly since next year my health insurance will probably cover it.  I will have it done.  Not because of any deep hatred for my penis, but it comes down to this.  Girls are not so equipped.  I am a girl.  Surgery will validate that.  Have the surgery.  Kind of a butchered syllogism, but one I can relate to. 

Oddly enough FFS which was my obsession is no longer a show stopper.  I have been accepted by my peers as Julie.  That is becoming just a non issue.  Nobody kicks me out of any bathroom.  The occasional misgender that happens is more annoying than deflating.  I dunno, I guess I'll see how I feel in a few months.  It will take a while to put the money together, maybe I'll buy a car instead. ;)

Quote from: LordKAT on July 23, 2014, 02:45:13 PM
I am curious about this. I thought you needed a year of hormones before you could get SRS.

If she went under informed consent and paid out of pocket, or, went out of country to say for example, Thailand to have her surgery done she wouldn't need two letters or have to be on hormones for a year. In fact, some Doctors here in the US only require one letter even if insurance is footing the bill. They are however few and far between. Also, surgery is most often based on the needs of the individual such as in my case. My IS condition negates the need for two letters or the 1 year on hormones waiting period. I'll be having my SRS this December, possibly even in November depending on scheduling availability which, for me will be just shy of the 1 year mark on hrt.

Allie :icon_flower:

It has and will always be very important to me. I dream of the day when my appointment day has arrived and all my things are in order, my checklist complete. I know there will be great discomfort afterwards, and I purposely tell myself it will be so painful that I will want to pass out each day. I do this so that when the day arrives, the actual discomfort will be nothing like what I blew it up to be and I will say "oh pooh that was easy!". And then I will have a brand new spanking whatever year model Kitty. I will be able to comfortably wear all my swimsuits, panties, jammies, all and everything without fear that I am exhibiting a bit of camel toe cause I refuse to 'tuck'. And if I am showing camel toe, it will be a real camel toe! I also know I will be visiting the Korean health spa and go fully nude for my massage because I can; and I'll look at the girl next to me and tell her not be shy because we all have the same thing. And then the sex... wowee wow -- my imagination is always in full throttle for those thoughts. So what's keeping me from it? Money for now, but not for long. I often wonder how my husband will handle it. He always felt I was so 'special'.. and after GRS will I be extra special or ordinary? I think it will be extra extra special, but he just won't say so 'cause he loves me for me... silly ole me!  Sometimes I wonder if I could love him the same if he had a vagina... oh girlfriends... I don't know.  Crazy huh?   But the question is how important the surgery -- it is very important. Especially as one ages. Health issues arise, doctors need to see everything, accidents can occur, emergency rooms loom before us...  these things scare me a bit. My worst nightmare is having an accident and I am unconscious and my clothes are being removed without me being able to preface anything verbally.  Yup, its important.

Really important. However I try not to think about it and focus on my other road blocks right now because my lower dysphoria sucks. Plus tucking sucks. I don't think I'll ever be able to have sex comfortably with a penis. Let alone comfortable around a guy with it.

Dear LordKAT,

Dr. Schaff (my srs doc) required me to be in the HRT for at least six months. My health insurance wanted to take over the cost after my legal sex and name change. Therefore the short time since starting HRT was not an issue.
Surpringly I managed to start HRT, apply for and finish change of name and sex , have FFS and SRS within 7 months. Now I need time for recovery and find myself.

Lara

Quote from: Lara1969 on July 24, 2014, 12:44:27 AM
Dear LordKAT,

Dr. Schaff (my srs doc) required me to be in the HRT for at least six months. My health insurance wanted to take over the cost after my legal sex and name change. Therefore the short time since starting HRT was not an issue.
Surpringly I managed to start HRT, apply for and finish change of name and sex , have FFS and SRS within 7 months. Now I need time for recovery and find myself.

Lara

I don't know if my being IS might negate the need for two letters. I'm having a hard time finding a therapist close enough to me for my 2nd letter. So I'm thinking seriously about using one of the online gender therapists that hold your appointment over Skype because the nearest gender therapist is 2 hours away. I can't afford that kind of fuel expense monthly, let alone bi-weekly or weekly. Has anyone used one of the online gender therapists?

Allie :icon_flower:

It's very important to me.
When I was younger, I didn't mind my genitals. Wasn't really something I ever thought about. When I got to my early-midish teens, I came to the conclusion that I'd been somewhat shafted with regards to my sex, including my genitals. Didn't think there was anything I could do, so I just accepted being unhappy.

As I went through my teens I tried to make the most of it, but in the end found myself generally trying to ignore/deny its existence and explored other avenues sexually. A few times I tried playing mind games with myself with a crude application of psychology and makeshift aids. The goal being to temporarily adjust the way I experience sensations down there. To sort of twist my perception so that it somehow felt closer to a vagina than a penis. Came close enough that for a few minutes on one occasion, I could actually believe it was a vagina.

Before starting transitioning I knew that this is the route I would probably be going down. Now, 8 months in to hrt (just E, no T blockers currently :/ ) it's perhaps the most distressing issue I have. As some aspects of my body have changed, now that I've been full time for a while, I feel like I've made some wonderful progress. But the total lack of change regarding my genitals and the fact that grs will probably be 4 years away minimum, due to money, it's wrecking me.
Like I was just starting to get some speed with building a life and then BAM! Ran smack bang into a spiked brick wall. I can only move forward so much without it. I'm certain that exploring relationships for the first time in my life would be unbearable in this state. Both because of my genitals and that I'm lesbian so my partners genitals would be a painful reminder of my own state. So I still feel that parts of my life that are very important to me are passing me by/still off limits to me. heck, these two points and the intersection between them has probably been making me *feel* worse than I did before. Definitely crying instead of sleeping more than before.

So yeah, the TLDR of it is that as I'm transitioning, it's becoming even more important. As some of my dysphoria about my body eases, my genital issue just shine brighter with less distracting me from them. And cause relationships can't happen like this.

For me it was very important

I started with HRT with the plan to have SRS... I needed to complete the transition and SRS.

I wanted to be complete, and pass 100%.... HRT gave me curves, breasts, softer skin and feminine features... I am a real girly girl, love shopping, shoes (especially 4inch heel boots or sandals), clothes, makeup, painting my nails and grooming myself. having a penis .. well sounded so wrong. Plus I wanted to gym and be able to shower at the gym.. or have a steam with the girls... wearing nothing but a towel.. its hard to hide a penis.. and.. be able to sunbath by the pool in a g-string bikini was a challenge to hide.. I was tired of trying to hide my penis.. so practically the thing was a pain.

plus I want to be a wife to a man someday and I want to be able to give him a good sex life and you need a vagina for that, oral sex, which i love giving, can only take you so far

I am post-op and I am very happy with the results, my vagina has passed the realism test as I have slept with a guy since surgery.

I do feel complete and I am a real woman.. the only downside.. I cant have kids. I would love to be pregnant and feeling the baby growing inside me.. but that not going to happen and I have accepted that.. when the time comes I will adopt and give some child a very happy home.

But then who knows... medical science is evolving.. they are experimenting with transplanting uterus's, without real success.. just maybe... in 10 to 15 years it might be possible to transplant a uterus into a post-op t-girl... I am only 24 now.. so in 15 years.. I will be 39.. and still young enough to carry a child... but this is me dreaming.

How important to me is it? In a word, essential. Essential to my peace of mind and quite essential to my continued existence. As far as I'm concerned that lump of flesh between my legs is a cancer and I want it removed ASAP, I will never feel whole until it is.

Also, while it has nothing to do with my case, my province requires GRS before it will allow a gender marker change.

Before I was full time, grs seemed like THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE UNIVERSE. But after getting a bf and being full time for 3 years and being able to pass in my sleep, it's something that I'd love to get, but can live without.

I know that it would be so perfect to be complete. It has been such a torment for me to carry this burden

Up to 1year ago i would have said bah i can live without it. But then something clicked in my mind, i needed to be more feminine, a complete women. More importantly i needed to know what it really feels like to "have something inside me". And no anal didn't do it for me, i still haven't healed up properly from the few attempts i did 17years ago. So in no time i went from not so important to 4 months and counting. I would say that when it hits you it does it like a ton of bricks.

I think about it but reminded by my wife that she is not a lesbian so keep "it" I must. 

I would like to get some face work done and negotiating with wife now.  I met a person that had their face done and although 50+ had the face of a 25 year old woman and I just cant see that...idk. My wife wants me to still be me and or who I was and or whatever. 

Not here. I can't seem to get over the idea of being penetrated by, em, pene. My hard wiring won't allow it.

I like my wobbly bit. We don't know the long term outlook for neo-vagina complications later in life such as increased cancer risk in the area. There's just not enough data so I'd rather opt to be on the safe side.

Admittingly this is what I get for not being fully trans so the dysphoria down there isn't a preeminent driving force. For others I can understand.

Besides, I figure I might increase my dating pool odds with more straight women who are borderline bi-sexual. I am lesbian after all.

Quote from: Evelyn K on July 26, 2014, 04:56:26 PM
Not here. I can't seem to get over the idea of being penetrated by, em, pene. My hard wiring won't allow it.

I like my wobbly bit. We don't know the long term outlook for neo-vagina complications later in life such as increased cancer risk in the area. There's just not enough data so I'd rather opt to be on the safe side.

Admittingly this is what I get for not being fully trans so the dysphoria down there isn't a preeminent driving force. For others I can understand.

Besides, I figure I might increase my dating pool odds with more straight women who are borderline bi-sexual. I am lesbian after all.

Lol i fully intend to be able to put my men in the drawer when they are not needed  >:-)

Quote from: Myarkstir on July 26, 2014, 05:06:14 PM
Lol i fully intend to be able to put my men in the drawer when they are not needed  >:-)

Well for me I'll just sit my real doll up in her chair or something. :D

Then there's always the reliable angry hand I've drawn eyelashes on. ;)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fojdyz7.jpg&hash=f660ba4aec8a8bc19e1ba2b24524d769eb28b00e)

Not that important to me because I don't feel like it would really affect my ability to live as a woman. It would alleviate a great deal of my dysphoria, but I feel like the fact that it still won't enable me to carry a child would make me feel dysphoric as well. Maybe I'll change my mind about that one day, or maybe medical technology will catch up so that it will be possible for me to have a child, but until then it's not that high on my priorities list.

Hopefully one day I'll get to the point where money isn't an object, and then I'll get SRS but until then there are other things I'd rather save for that would make me much much happier than getting SRS would.

^^

Hormones is driving me sterile (probably a done deal by now) so even with medical tech, I still wouldn't be able.

Didn't sperm bank because I've decided having a kid at this point in my life is a gamble. I need to take care of myself.

Quote from: Evelyn K on July 26, 2014, 05:51:01 PM
^^

Hormones is driving me sterile (probably a done deal by now) so even with medical tech, I still wouldn't be able.

Didn't sperm bank because I've decided having a kid at this point in my life is a gamble. I need to take care of myself.

Yea...as much as I would like to save my swimmers before I start HRT, I don't think I'll be able to :'( It would be fantastic if one day SRS also comes with a uterus and whatever else is needed to get pregnant. SRS would definitely shoot to the top of my priorities list :)

Well I've already raised 3 daughters (adopted, my IS condition makes me sterile) who lovingly call me Mom from infants. Sooooo, wanting kids isn't a problem for me. My surgery won't come soon enough.

Allie :icon_flower:

Quote from: riversong on July 26, 2014, 05:54:54 PM
Yea...as much as I would like to save my swimmers before I start HRT, I don't think I'll be able to :'( It would be fantastic if one day SRS also comes with a uterus and whatever else is needed to get pregnant. SRS would definitely shoot to the top of my priorities list :)

But you'll still need eggs. Unless you are talking about being a surrogate.

Then there's the birthing process, mens hips are not wide enough.

Important for me as a final step, as ffs would be higher on my list. I've dreamed about being a girl for so long...

Quote from: Bols on July 26, 2014, 11:22:32 PM
Important for me as a final step, as ffs would be higher on my list. I've dreamed about being a girl for so long...

wow, so many with the sane dream, there must be something about being female

There was a time in my life when it would have been unthinkable, but now it's something I'm definitely thinking about.

I'm mostly-straight, in a long-term with a guy who won't bottom, and one of the first signs my dysphoria was getting critical was when I couldn't top any more because it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable.  I also have testicular pain that I'm almost certain is about 50% somatic (though I do have a varicocele in the left one).  My sexual response is doing well on hormones and my orgasm hits like a hammer when I don't have to touch my penis.  In all, I'd say I'm a prime candidate to benefit from surgery.

I'm still unsure how I'm going to pay for it, or how I'll feel about it once it's done, and I'm terrified about complications or the need for corrective surgery.  Those are the only reasons I would think twice but there may come a day when those reasons aren't enough to stop me.  That's how it was with HRT and with going full-time; I was scared of all the things that could go wrong and I held off until the thought of holding off any longer was too much to bear.

If you're already past that point, dear, then go for it.

There has been times when I really felt a great need for full SRS. However, now I could probably get by with just the removal of the unnecessary parts, a proper urethra relocation and enough body and facial feminization to pass as I don't have any real need for a vagina.

A vagina would be an optional item as I don't have any real desire for penetrative sex with a male. It might be nice to see how it feels to have a penis inside of you but the cost and inconvenience of that surgery might not be warranted as I would not have an ongoing need for the vagina. I also do not have any need for or desire to have a penis as my wife has not wanted penetrative sex for a long time and I have sat of squatted to pee full time since 1997.

Just let my doctor say that the removal of my penis and testicles is medically necessary and that it will be covered by my medical insurance - and see how fast those things are gone.  :) :)

Quote from: mac1 on July 27, 2014, 07:21:44 AM
Just let my doctor say that the removal of my penis and testicles is medically necessary and that it will be covered by my medical insurance - and see how fast those things are gone.  :) :)

If they didn't need the tissue to create my vagina, the abomination in my nether region would have been gone long ago. Some of the creative ways I've come up with range from the rubber band method used on steer's to driving to the emergency room parking lot with my trusty fillet knife, whacking it off making sure to run it over a few times with my trucks Pro Comp 37's(so it can't be re-attached) then stumbling inside a bloody mess, along with more creative ideas in between. Yup, as I've stated above my surgery won't come soon enough.

Allie :icon_flower:

Quote from: Allyda on July 27, 2014, 02:31:01 PM
If they didn't need the tissue to create my vagina, the abomination in my nether region would have been gone long ago. Some of the creative ways I've come up with range from the rubber band method used on steer's to driving to the emergency room parking lot with my trusty fillet knife, whacking it off making sure to run it over a few times with my trucks Pro Comp 37's(so it can't be re-attached) then stumbling inside a bloody mess, along with more creative ideas in between. Yup, as I've stated above my surgery won't come soon enough.

Allie :icon_flower:

I also have thought of creative ways to get that thing removed. As I said, I have to find a way so that: it will not look intentional, it will not get me put in the nut house, my wife will be accepting of it, and it will be covered by my medical insurance. Do you have any reasonable suggestions?

Quote from: mac1 on July 27, 2014, 07:59:16 PM
I also have thought of creative ways to get that thing removed. As I said, I have to find a way so that: it will not look intentional, it will not get me put in the nut house, my wife will be accepting of it, and it will be covered by my medical insurance. Do you have any reasonable suggestions?

Well, as it turns out my SRS is covered by my medical insurance and this December I go under. I'm disabled on Federal Medicaid with WellCare as my HMO. My SRS and voice surgery/trachea shave are paid for because they are considered medically necessary procedures.

Allie :icon_flower:

Quote from: Allyda on July 27, 2014, 08:43:04 PM
Well, as it turns out my SRS is covered by my medical insurance and this December I go under. I'm disabled on Federal Medicaid with WellCare as my HMO. My SRS and voice surgery/trachea shave are paid for because they are considered medically necessary procedures.

Allie :icon_flower:

that's good to know , I'm on disability too

Quote from: Evelyn K on July 26, 2014, 05:51:01 PM
^^

Hormones is driving me sterile (probably a done deal by now) so even with medical tech, I still wouldn't be able.

Didn't sperm bank because I've decided having a kid at this point in my life is a gamble. I need to take care of myself.

This. So much this... it's a pity, I'd love to have frozen some of them, but the little bit of research I did seemed to indicate it was kinda costly, and give i'm getting my hormones on my parents budget, when I don't have a job... I... just couldn't.

Quote from: stephaniec on July 27, 2014, 08:57:34 PM
that's good to know , I'm on disability too

Is your Medicaid Federal Steph?

Allie :icon_flower:

Quote from: Allyda on July 27, 2014, 09:10:02 PM
Is your Medicaid Federal Steph?

Allie :icon_flower:

well, its social security disability

Quote from: stephaniec on July 27, 2014, 09:18:09 PM
well, its social security disability

pm incoming so as not to derail the thread.

My attitude to GRS has changed significantly over time. During my teen years I felt nothing but consuming dysphoria at the thought or sight of my genitals. Their constant presence impacted on thoughts and emotions a great deal. As a result, I regarded GRS as vital.

Somehow, that changed massively a few years ago. I can't really identify the process but I seemed to 'pass through' the dysphoria to a kind of emotional numbness about it. It's quite surreal really, almost like I'm looking at something that belongs to somebody else. I'm not sure it's mentally healthy in the long-term but, for now, it means GRS isn't desired since I've learned to see my present genitals as a sexual tool and surgery as unnecessary.

Before this emotionally numb stage the genital dysphoria meant I could overlook my issues with regard to surgery and the nature of the outcome but now there's no dominant dysphoria to outweigh those concerns. This means I now regard facial surgery and things that impact the rest of my body's presentation as most important, my dysphoria in relation to those things hasn't wavered, or is growing, in intensity.

Having said that, I know I would instantly agree to surgery if it were magically possible to install female-typical sex organs. This is because the 'concerns' I have with GRS are that it won't change how I see myself as a woman at present since I know I'd regard it as the same genitals but rearranged (that's how I see mine, not others). Also, it's quite possible that my attitude will change as transition progresses. I may return to seeing GRS as a necessity or may actually come to actually like my genitals in their present form. It'll be interesting to see. ^_^