Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So as the title half says, I've been on hormones (both Estradiol and Spiro) for about two weeks now. And while granted, it's still extremely early in the overall process, I guess I was hoping to notice -something-. Mentally, I feel exactly the same, for better or worse, though I wasn't exactly feeling too bad when I started. Physically I haven't noticed a whole lot either. I have some possible increased sensitivity on my chest, and maybe some slight ichyness around my nipples occasionally, but I can't really tell if it's the hormones or just me expecting something and just attributing it to what I expect, because they are both pretty minor, and it's not like my chest has never itched before the hormones. While I fully understand this is a long process and everyone is different, I guess mentally I would like to notice some indicator that I haven't just been popping very expensive sugar pills this whole time. I'm sure I'll eventually notice something, but the time in between, since I've seen no sign of any changes yet, does start to let my mind wonder a bit.

Anyways, I just sort of wanted to share my thoughts thus far with the people here, I hope it didn't come off as too complainy. I am normally a pretty patient person, but the whole not really knowing if it's having an effect is starting to get to me I think. Just a little.  ;)

For me, what was the first noticibly strong effect was my aggression started waning. I used to channel it into frustration. With that aggression gone, I spent time less frustrated and my stress dropped immensely.

Don't get me wrong. I can still be a bitch sometimes, but I kinda lost that feeling where it felt like males were always trying to screw me over and take advantage of me at work and stuff. I ended up way more sarcastic though. A text from my boss that would have infuriated me before, now I simply laff and write something super sarcastic and snarky  back lol.

I work in trucking, and when I am on time, but not as far as my boss wants me to be, I respond with things like him building a time machine for me, or putting monster truck tires on so I can simply drive a straight line to the destination, or I tell him the tunnel under such and such mountains wasn't completed as he promised. I don't advise this snarky approach for everybody, but for both of us it is better than responding in a red faced fury like I used to.

For me there were changes certainly but, it wasn't some flip on the switch sort of earth shattering changes that some people report having. I don't think you have much to worry about since I assume your dose is rather small seeing as your doc just put you on it. Most of the changes that I have experienced have actually snuck up on me rather than been something I noticed right away, which can also be a factor.

@Hermosa_Tabby:
When I am late which is like 95% of the time, no one cares lol. Granted the vast majority of the time I am late because of delays loading, and the customer I am picking up from is the same customer I am dropping off to, but even being perishables no one seems to care that much when things arrive or not, which really helps my stress level. I wasn't very angry before HRT though, so that never really changed.

Ellesmira, you just need to give it time. Two weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Your body needs to readjust and gear up for changes. Also, starting doses are by their nature lower than standard, that's essential to gauge how well your body reacts. See how you feel in two months time, I think you'll find it is quite different.

Quote from: Hikari on June 29, 2014, 02:01:50 AM

@Hermosa_Tabby:
When I am late which is like 95% of the time, no one cares lol. Granted the vast majority of the time I am late because of delays loading, and the customer I am picking up from is the same customer I am dropping off to, but even being perishables no one seems to care that much when things arrive or not, which really helps my stress level. I wasn't very angry before HRT though, so that never really changed.

Yeah, my dispatch likes to fly off the handle and cares more than the customers actually do. He has some anger issues. I simply am more able to stay calm myself around it and know he is looking for a fight lol. Returning with humor seems to basically end it right there, when an angry response will start a message battle back and forth lol.
Luckily, very soon I will be driving crosstown Seattle area and won't have to deal with it at all.

***Sorry for threadjacking.*** :-* :-* :-*

Quote from: Ms Grace on June 29, 2014, 03:01:03 AM
Ellesmira, you just need to give it time. Two weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Your body needs to readjust and gear up for changes. Also, starting doses are by their nature lower than standard, that's essential to gauge how well your body reacts. See how you feel in two months time, I think you'll find it is quite different.

I definitely had some psychological changes about 1 to 1.5 months in and some minor fat changes and breast size increase. I am going full blast though with dosage (not higher than recommended, but not at tiny naturopathic doses neither.)

You will get there sweetie. I just had a meltdown yesterday signaling the start of my second puberty. I am 7 months into HRT two weeks on high dose now. Trust me when it hits it hurts. Enjoy the pre storm period. My emotions are whacked now, ugh. I noticed breast sensations around 3 or 4 weeks if I Remember correctly. It wasn't too long. Start learning now to give objects plenty of chest clearance. You will thank me later!  ;D

Thanks for the tip Jess!

Can you please explain what you meant by second puberty and meltdown?

I thought I was in second puberty already. What happens at 7 months?

I felt good almost immediately. Mainly because of the catharsis of actually doing something for myself for once. Then I got giddy when the boobs started coming in at around two weeks.

But the real psychological joy from hormones was more subtle and started later.

It is hard to pinpoint because I was overjoyed just to begin, but it really seemed to start at 1-1.5 months, and lasts until this day in many ways.

I was terribly dysphoric, and that vanished. Now I have good days and bad days but I do not default to bad, I default to neutral or good. It took a while to recognize that the hormones seemed to really change my mood, and really it took my wife and mother pointing it out to me that I knew for sure, because they noticed. My wife knew about my transition. My mom didn't at the time. My wife said my mood had improved so much she would kill me if I quit transitioning. My mom said "You seem so happy lately, whatever you are doing, keep it up!"

That opened the door for me.

"Funny you should say that mom, I have this new doctor and he has me on a new medical regimen... I have been dealing with something known as gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember..."

And, well, you get the rest.

Hormones cure my dysphoria, the liberation from my former closet brings the joy.

YMMV

Quote from: Ellesmira the Duck on June 29, 2014, 12:46:34 AM
So as the title half says, I've been on hormones (both Estradiol and Spiro) for about two weeks now. And while granted, it's still extremely early in the overall process, I guess I was hoping to notice -something-. Mentally, I feel exactly the same, for better or worse, though I wasn't exactly feeling too bad when I started. Physically I haven't noticed a whole lot either. I have some possible increased sensitivity on my chest, and maybe some slight ichyness around my nipples occasionally, but I can't really tell if it's the hormones or just me expecting something and just attributing it to what I expect, because they are both pretty minor, and it's not like my chest has never itched before the hormones. While I fully understand this is a long process and everyone is different, I guess mentally I would like to notice some indicator that I haven't just been popping very expensive sugar pills this whole time. I'm sure I'll eventually notice something, but the time in between, since I've seen no sign of any changes yet, does start to let my mind wonder a bit.

Anyways, I just sort of wanted to share my thoughts thus far with the people here, I hope it didn't come off as too complainy. I am normally a pretty patient person, but the whole not really knowing if it's having an effect is starting to get to me I think. Just a little.  ;)

Hi Ellesmira.  It seems we have started HRT at around the same time.  Well, I've been on AA for 3 weeks, and Estradiol for 2 weeks about.  I haven't noticedn any real physical changes either.  So you're not alone there!  Though I have noticed some psychological changes, but I'm not sure if that's the hormones or just me being happier I started.

Quote from: Hermosa_Tabby on June 29, 2014, 04:39:38 AM
Can you please explain what you meant by second puberty and meltdown?

Quite simply I am going through a sort of teen puberty again. My body and mind are both experiencing something very different. I had been on low dose which calmed my mind and started some physical development. After two weeks on high dose HRT all the emotions and psychological traits of being female kicked in and I became extremely moody, tearful and confused. Like Colleen explained so well to me it was what normal cis girls go through in Junior High. Face it, men are programmed to not show very many emotions except aggression which are considered normal by society. Mine came flooding into me the past few days and I did not know how to handle them Because I had never experienced them before in 40 years. It was both wonderful (I had them now) and yet terrible (a new thing after 40 emotionless years). Best I can describe it right now.  :)

Thanks for sharing everyone, it is nice to know I'm still within the range of normal. :) Still looking forward to getting some actual detectable changes, which maybe I'll start seeing in the next couple of weeks, even if they are small. Here's hoping!

don't worry , when your nipples become pin cushions  you'll know

You're also focusing so heavily on it you may be overlooking things.  Your body takes time to get estrogen levels to a good point, so while immediate reactions aren't unheard of, they usually sneak up on you one day.  I found myself looking in the mirror after a nice clean shave and thought woah, I need to manly up a bit otherwise in going to get ostracized at work.  Try watching some tear jerker videos, that's how I knew. I couldn't squeeze a tear to save my life before, now I turn into a proverbial water fountain

I always cry during the most ridiculous movies. Like family comedies and stuff. Anything tragic and dramaesque doesn't blindside me so much.

Last movie to draw tears from me was "Be Kind Rewind" with Mos Def lol.

Water works.. Def...  Videos of Bambi, kittens, babies..  Oh and there is one floating around FB now, of a small kid in ... India.. Someplace, steals medicine for mom, is caught, a groc shop owner sees it, pays for the meds, gives the kid soup to take home.. Years later, shows same store owner, gives soup to another homeless guy, collapses.  In hospital, daughter gets bill, a huge amount..  Radiologist reads the X-rays, thinking.. next day, daughter sleeping next to dad in hospital bed, wakes to find medical bills paid in full. Zero balance..

The small kid that took the meds, was given the soup, grew up to become the radiologist.

I think it was 15 mins before I stopped sobbing.

Paula, I'm not even ON HRT and that got me crying. I've had those kinds of  reactions for years. I predict the E is gonna hit me hard!

Though I've always been emotional, E intensified it tenfold. I would always be in tears during sad movies but E turned on a literal gusher. Things I would never cry over before now easily bring tears. And, if I try to fight it, it only makes it worse. Paula your story of the kid in India brought me to the verge of tears. I also get very emotional and sometimes cry when I'm happy, or someone does something incredibly nice for me. So Ellesmira, you might want to prepare yourself for the emotions as others have pointed out.

Another thing. Growing booby's hurt, they're sore and very tender to the touch. When you start budding just bumping into something, or, even not being careful with your arms brushing across them can make you wince. Ellesmira, There are many very lovely surprises ahead of you. Take your time, and enjoy them as they come.

Best Wishes :icon_bunch:

Ally :icon_flower:

I didn't have really anything at two weeks other than just being happy to finally get started so I think I had some placebo effect going on there.  :)  I know I was intensely jealous of posts where people would say they were getting tingles and stuff within mere days of starting though lol.

I still don't have a whole lot now at almost three months but I've only been on a full dose for about 3 weeks now.  One thing I noticed about two weeks ago, and this probably seems silly but I love it anyway, is that my eyelashes were like super long and REALLY full!  Just in the past few days I noticed what few hairs grow on my shoulders (there aren't many but I hate them!) Have started going blond/clear-ish!  So yeah, yay! 

It's the little things so far for me but things are happening....  :D

From my first two weeks on blockers I remember being incredibly tired and having almost uncontrollable taste for sweets.

And during the first two weeks when estrogens were added... Well, that's when things started to get quite wild. I'm glad the nipple sensitivity went to acceptable levels only two weeks later :-) .

Just the fact I constantly felt like vomiting after the first injection for 5 days and then for 2 days after the second injection was really annoying. That didn't repeat fortunately.

Take a selfie every week and go back and compare.

Yeah. I do really need to record more pictures of myself to see if I can notice something. So far the only thing I've seen looking back is longer hair hut that kind helps in its own way, even if it isn't directly hormone related.

Just give it time, hon. Weekly selfies are fine but you won't really start to notice much for a few months.

Quote from: Ellesmira the Duck on June 30, 2014, 04:09:27 PM
Yeah. I do really need to record more pictures of myself to see if I can notice something. So far the only thing I've seen looking back is longer hair hut that kind helps in its own way, even if it isn't directly hormone related.

Take a couple of selfies now. Then don't take any more for about 3 months. I guarantee you're in for a biiiig surprise if you do it this way.

Because we see ourselves in the mirror every day we don't notice the changes. But if you take one or two now, then wait three months before taking another and you'll definitely notice the changes when you compare those from now to the photos you take 3 months down the road. You'll be a happy girl!

Best wishes! :icon_bunch:

Ally :icon_flower: