Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So my Boyfriend's roommate is jealous of how I look or how pretty I am (I'm not). She is just my height 5'6 or possibility a little taller. But about a week or two ago I guess she got jealous (she kept saying I was jealous of her). I even commented that she looked pretty one day and appeared she lost weight. She took it as I was making fun of her. i wasn't. So she told everyone on the block i was trans or a hermaphrodite and that I was really a man. So, this week i walked by BF and Karen's friend, Country (or James), and they are were saying "it's really a man." As soon as I got back to the apartment I was balling. Up to that point, dude always called me mathilda or mattie but then it was Matt Man or "Mattie Sir." Before this he would comment on how pretty I was. I said soemthing along the lines of please call me Mattie, but then my BF's  piece of dirt roommate said "who cares"; it's no big. Well my friend moved today. I went back to get something but they were gone. He claims he stuck up for me when she claimed i drank a cup of her coffee. i doubt it but I'll believe him. Plus, I bought her a gallon of premium coffee three weeks ago not the crap she buy and i didn't even get a tahnk you and she still harasses me. Plus, I bought them a $100 in food from my SNAP card. Wait it gets worse. Much, much, MUcH WORSE (Sorry I now its TL;DR but I had to get this off my chest I'm about ready to call it quit, meaning

I ran into the guys today and not only did they make fun of me, but also beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of me so bad I went to the hospital. I was knocked unconscious by five or so guys and no one would help me. But not only that but they went thru my bag and stole my hormones. Now, In addition to having a gaping hole in my face I also can't afford hormones and the ones I just bought are gone. They threw them down the sewer and I can't get more for weeks. At least two. I just can't believe it. My BF said he stook up for me about the coffee but IDK. The other day he said none of his friends like me but his one friend came back around and he def likes me. We excahnged numbers and have been texting. All my BF's sane friends like me and i think he is starting to see that.

Here are show you the damge. it was horrid:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1056.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft372%2Fdedalus3333%2Fd5b8c16d-baaa-4bff-8774-ec05f12228d9_zpsab54a6b8.jpg&hash=9a9fbfd8a6727883c2a1929d658815d37309f777) (http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/dedalus3333/media/d5b8c16d-baaa-4bff-8774-ec05f12228d9_zpsab54a6b8.jpg.html)

BEFORE (with makeup as the hospital washed off the makeup in frist pic. Upside: Hospital was very, very nice!!!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1056.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft372%2Fdedalus3333%2Ff0e0cfc9-2317-4148-b244-abc1d03001ad_zps08a5b730.jpg&hash=83e283a2cadf31b09532c7e92999916c1122e20a) (http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/dedalus3333/media/f0e0cfc9-2317-4148-b244-abc1d03001ad_zps08a5b730.jpg.html)


On the flip side, if you need a UNIX SGI supercomputer, i.e. the Indy2 with A R4400 processorand two Seagate Hawk 4 4.49 GB and a CD room drive sled plus a monitor, we could make a deal. Or I could just could trade parts since the only thing i care about is getting those hormones back. It's a really good computer. Look it up. I'll send pics if intersted. I know you are prolly not allowed to do this on this site, but pleae make an exception since I really need the hormones. I called the pharmacy and they will refill them, but I need $19 for the E and $24 for the spiro. The prometrium is just a bonus and can wait. Hell I really just need the E. So if anyone wants to make a deal even for the Seagate hawk 4 4.29 GB SCSI Harddrive, I'd be forever thankful. I tried to sell it b4 on CL but no luck. And with EBay I'm 'fraid ill start re masculizing again. It's ironic, I was thinking about stopping, and now I want nothing more. Guess I have my answer.

OMG!! I wish I could give you a hug right now! Thats so f'd!!!! ugh sometimes I wish I had super powers to find these hateful people and throw them in jail myself. This is not right at all and your bf's roommate has some serious issues. I hope one day she understands the damage she caused by doing what she did.

This is why I'm so paranoid of telling anyone I'm trans. Too many people think its ok to cause us harm.

Hope you're able to get your meds back asap! I can't hug you in person so a digital hug is the best I can do

* Hugs  Joanna!!

Press charges for gang assault, theft, hate crime? Did police get involved? What's their bail set at?

Sorry to hear about this Joanna. This only reaffirms to me to avoid all men like the plague and to keep my trans lifestyle as stealthy as possible.

I am really sorry this happened to you and wish I had something helpful to say.  Please hang in there. 

Joanna, I am sorry this happened to you. I hope you heal physically and emotionally from this quickly, hugs.

Yes, some areas are very rough. From past posts you live in SW philly in the hood and that is a very tough place to live.

Oh, hugs, Joanna. That's horrible.

Please involve the police. You were the victim of a serious crime.

As long as and until we stand up in whatever way we can (by reporting the crime), people will keep doing this, and worse.

If this is ruled a hate crime (sounds like the evidence may be there), it could easily be a felony.

Oh, I'm fine. But, I'm sure in a couple hours ill come around and be crying. At least my BF told me he loves me. He doesn't express emotins that well, not that he is stoic, I wouldn't like that and he is far from it, but even though he hasn't said it, he feels it cause sometimes he just hugs me tight and it was nice to hear him say it. With no caveat. So, silver linings and all.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 29, 2014, 04:33:16 AM
Press charges for gang assault, theft, hate crime? Did police get involved? What's their bail set at?

Sorry to hear about this Joanna. This only reaffirms to me to avoid all men like the plague and to keep my trans lifestyle as stealthy as possible.

No, I kept the police out of it. I'm from Philly and in this area, snitches don't get stitches, I already have 30 of them, they get bullets. I'm not kidding. A week after I moved in someone was shot in this store I left five mins before. Not that I woulda got shot. It was an execution. These people have no respect for life. But my BF and I are regrouping going to our safe zones, which are our parents homes. We both come from nice areas and if some of these people saw where he came from they'd ->-bleeped-<- a brick. He lives in a mansion. I just live in your typical suburban home. It's nice and I come from a nice family, but he be rich, rich, rich. We have out problems but when push comes to shove he is always there for me and vice versa.

But, yeah I hear ya about men. Most are scum. I just found a good one. I'm lucky. Except when I'm not. But, I also def keep the trans thing on the DL. This old hag just couldn't keep her mouth shut. And this happened. I even told her multiple times, this isn't the area and African Americans in this particular place are not fond of trans peeps. In fact, there's a rash of unsolved murders of trasn women of color around these parts. Nobody knew I was trans until a couple weeks ago when she decided to tell peeps cause she's a b...tch. She is so negative.

On the upside, now my BF will sytop talking to her cause he blames her. I didn't even have to convice him. He said it. And she was alrady on her last leg. She just gets jealous cause she can't get a man and here I am a trans woman and have this hot guy she drools over who want touch her. It's because of one thing: IRL, I'm really really nice. Too nice. But also sweet. It takes time to get to know me, but once you do that's how I am. She's just all negativity all the time. She has nothing nice to say. And I had to bleed for it.

Okay, this is getting into TLDR territory or surpassed it awhile ago lol

Quote from: suzifrommd on June 29, 2014, 10:16:00 AM
Oh, hugs, Joanna. That's horrible.

Please involve the police. You were the victim of a serious crime.

As long as and until we stand up in whatever way we can (by reporting the crime), people will keep doing this, and worse.

If this is ruled a hate crime (sounds like the evidence may be there), it could easily be a felony.

No, I can't. Not only do I not want to be shot because I'd be a witness to a crime that could carry 15 years. But, I'd be in the paper. I appreciate trans pride and all that. But, I have to come first. All I want to do is live a long, peaceful life with my BF travelling and working. Nothing more. Kids would be nice if the world doesn't go to hell. I'm just not activist material. I'm a magzine editor who love writing abotu beauty products and makeup and babies. In fact, it's exactyl what I have done with the last 10 or so years of my life,

Joanna why doesn't your BF spot you the cash for hormones then?

 :police: Just a warning not to turn this into a male bashing topic.  :police:

Yeah, I can understand not wanting to include the Philly PD.  I'll leave my comment at that.  However, please make sure to avoid these people in the future.  As transwomen, we have to be more cautious of our surroundings than usual cause you never know what happens.  And it's partly for this reason that I desire stealth as well.  I can't even tell you how sorry I am that you went through this and hope it will never occur again.  Please be safe Joanna.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 29, 2014, 10:39:21 AM
Joanna why doesn't your BF spot you the cash for hormones then?

I never talk to him about hormones. Ever. never. Ever. I don't talk about any trans stuff and he told me awhile ago it weirds him out. yeah, that may sound trans phobic, but I could care less about trans phobia, I'm practically trans phobic. I'm trying to sell some stuff so I'll be okay. I hope. Once though he couldn't stop talking about it. He had to read about it for a long time cause he knew stuff that you wouldn't expect a non-trans person to know, even all kinds of stuff about FTMs. But that might be because if I dress to male, people ask him if I'm an FTM. It happens alot. I find it funny. I'm a "man" "or part man" that wants to be 100 percent (or as close as I can get) to being a woman, who dresses like  man sometimes, but just looks like a pre-T FTM. That got confusing real fast lol

He never even mentions my thing when we shower together he just calls it my pussy. Since that is the goal. I know a lot of peeps are all trans pride and all, but I'm all identity politics hurt more than help. Plus, he helps me so much already on so many fronts that I just feel it would be pushing it. I'll be able to sell some stuff, hopefully. If insurance paid for HRT, this wouldn't be a problem. Hopefully Pres. Obama willl make insurance companies do it, since as far as trans things go, he has been by far the most trans friendly president ever. By like 10 million miles.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 29, 2014, 10:40:53 AM
:police: Just a warning not to turn this into a male bashing topic.  :police:

I wouldn't even call them real men. Come on 5 on one. None were men in my opinion but rather cowards. Can we bash cowards Jessica?

I am glad your Ok Joanna.

sorry for what happened.

Joanna, do You have a Paypal account?

That is so devastating Joanna.  I have to say you seem to be handling it with more grace that I think I would.   I wish you could move to a safer environment.   I am worried about you :(

PP acct.  +1

That's terrible! If it were me, I'd definitely press charges, as I'd want to personally see their butts thrown in jail (or worse). I realize you have your reasons not to, but things never get better if no one stands up to that behavior. If nothing else, I'd say that if you're somewhere where there is no recourse for that sort of crime, then it would be best to relocate as soon as possible. Certainly cut any responsible parties out of your life if you can. Stay safe.
Hugs.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 29, 2014, 11:25:14 AM
I never talk to him about hormones. Ever. never. Ever. I don't talk about any trans stuff and he told me awhile ago it weirds him out. yeah, that may sound trans phobic, but I could care less about trans phobia, I'm practically trans phobic. I'm trying to sell some stuff so I'll be okay. I hope. Once though he couldn't stop talking about it. He had to read about it for a long time cause he knew stuff that you wouldn't expect a non-trans person to know, even all kinds of stuff about FTMs. But that might be because if I dress to male, people ask him if I'm an FTM. It happens alot. I find it funny. I'm a "man" "or part man" that wants to be 100 percent (or as close as I can get) to being a woman, who dresses like  man sometimes, but just looks like a pre-T FTM. That got confusing real fast lol

He never even mentions my thing when we shower together he just calls it my pussy. Since that is the goal. I know a lot of peeps are all trans pride and all, but I'm all identity politics hurt more than help. Plus, he helps me so much already on so many fronts that I just feel it would be pushing it. I'll be able to sell some stuff, hopefully. If insurance paid for HRT, this wouldn't be a problem. Hopefully Pres. Obama willl make insurance companies do it, since as far as trans things go, he has been by far the most trans friendly president ever. By like 10 million miles.

Story seems to fall apart right around here. None of this make sense. Your "boyfriend" doesn't want to know what you are, or your special needs?

Sorry. Just my opinion. Others may differ. I really wish you good fortune whatever happens.

Quote from: JenSquid on June 29, 2014, 03:00:53 PM
That's terrible! If it were me, I'd definitely press charges, as I'd want to personally see their butts thrown in jail (or worse). I realize you have your reasons not to, but things never get better if no one stands up to that behavior. If nothing else, I'd say that if you're somewhere where there is no recourse for that sort of crime, then it would be best to relocate as soon as possible. Certainly cut any responsible parties out of your life if you can. Stay safe.
Hugs.

It seems like a lot of bad karma and bad decisions follows trans women around these parts. I guess this is the reason why so many choose to stay dissociated from others in our community IRL. :(

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on June 29, 2014, 07:43:47 AM
Joanna, I am sorry this happened to you. I hope you heal physically and emotionally from this quickly, hugs.

Yes, some areas are very rough. From past posts you live in SW philly in the hood and that is a very tough place to live.

Wow I just googled southwest philly. Forget transitioning, I would invest on getting my a** out of there! Joanna you're worth more than this. You should do this for yourself and get yourself into a safer environment.

I'm sorry what happened to you. What happened to you should never happen to anyone, trans or not. What I do not understand though is your attitude of not wanting to report this. And while others here may disagree, I'll stand my ground. Both you and your B/F come from nice neighborhoods. Where I am from, everywhere I have lived as a matter of fact, crimes such as this, crime of any and all nature is not tolerated. Police and all Law Enforcement are seen as the friends, keepers of order so to speak. By remaining silent on this crime, and yes, your beating was a crime, you are condoning the action by your very inaction. You are giving those who beat you strength and power by remaining silent.  Perhaps I may have missed something here in your story, through the eyes of 'street justice', just what did you do to merit such a beating?  Are we to understand you correctly here that when we are beaten that we too are to remain silent? Is that the message that you are trying to convey here? Just be careful everyone who is trans; Life out and about may not be safe. And if you get beaten, well so be it? Every November  20th there is a Day of Remembrance for those who have died, been killed as a result of transphobia, or the hatred or fear of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and acts to bring attention to the continued violence endured by the transgender. We are a minority here that have been, are, and will continue to struggle and stave for acceptance. Slowly legislation is being enacted to help, aid and protect us, give us equal and basic human rights. Pennsylvania is one of those states. By all means, you owe it not only to yourself, but your community to report this crime. And yes, it was and is a crime.
And if the area that you currently live is not safe, and it seems so apparent that it is not, you need to move. Period.

Real life > Ideals

OMG, poor you, these things should never happen, please take care and stay away from those people. sending you a huge hug, xx

I hate that this happened to you! How horrible! :( (((big hug)))

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 29, 2014, 11:25:14 AM
I could care less about trans phobia, I'm practically trans phobic.

huh

QuoteIf insurance paid for HRT

Every insurance company I've had has paid for spiro (including the one I'm on with the marketplace.) None of them have paid for E, but I'm sure whatever pharmacy you have has a savings card that will bring the cost down of E, which is already cheap anyways. I take nearly the maximum therapeutic dose of E, and with the card, it costs $7 a month.

Depending on your insurance, spiro would be between $3-$10 copay.

Go to the pharmacy (try Walgreens or CVS) and ask for an emergency supply of prescriptions. They will most likely give you a couple days for free. I've had to do this before with a different medication.

But you can't get a hold of $5-$10 for a week or two's worth of pills?

Sorry this happened to you and I wish you luck

Im really sorry to hear this Joanna.  I hope you are feeling a little better.  Take care of yourself and you MUST press charges or else it could happen again or worse.  Do whatever you can to be safe.

Oh my godddd that's terrible. :(

I'm sorry this happened to you Joanna and I hope you heal quickly and completely both inside and out.

God, this makes my blood boil!  >:(  I hope those ->-bleeped-<-s get what's coming to them. I hope you heal quickly and are able to bounce back, and your situation changes for the better.  :)

The sad thing is transphobia is a thing we have to care about because it can result in violent actions like these.  Passing privledge is a great thing for those that want to blend, but it's never full proof.  There are ways for people to find out, and while that remains true, it will always be unsafe for us in a transphobic world.  That's why it does matter. But I don't get why people are like this. It's just sad that people feel the need to hurt others. 

No what's sad is people investing in short term physical gratification rather than long term self preservation and safety. :-\

Also what good is transitioning if you don't have the means to fund it, or your health to see you getting there?

And I don't necessarily mean Joanna. There was a poster here trying to grub $5K in donations to fund her transition.

Give. me. a. break.

Can't this stuff wait until you've lifted yourself up by your own boot straps? You know, having a "strong foundation" kind of thing?

It seems like there is a constant litany of :facepalm: in this place. To the point where I feel like getting out because of it. It's emotionally exhausting.

Quote from: learningtolive on June 29, 2014, 10:39:17 PM
It's just sad that people feel the need to hurt others.

Very very sad, and sickening....  I'm so sorry that this happened Joanna.

I hope you heal quickly and are able to get out of such a bad area (if that's what you choose, I know I would! ASAP, pronto, yesterday!!!)

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 29, 2014, 11:14:10 PM
No what's sad is people investing in short term physical gratification rather than long term self preservation and safety. :-\

Also what good is transitioning if you don't have the means to fund it, or your health to see you getting there?

And I don't necessarily mean Joanna. There was a poster here trying to grub $5K in donations to fund her transition.

Give. me. a. break.

Can't this stuff wait until you've lifted yourself up by your own boot straps? You know, having a "strong foundation" kind of thing?

It seems like there is a constant litany of :facepalm: in this place. To the point where I feel like getting out because of it. It's emotionally exhausting.

Sure, people should be able to fund their own transition, but was the post about Joanna trying to take money from people here or about how she was attacked for being trans?  You can be as wealthy and well to do as possible and still be assaulted for being trans.  I'm far from rich but I'm not broke either, work full time, and live in a safe area but I've seen people discriminate quite easily and what that can lead to.  The fact is you can have a "strong foundation" and that can sometimes mean nothing in a world that is hostile to transwomen and women in general.  If that were the case, there would be no assaults and rapes in many areas that have them as well.  It's an issue we all face as transwomen regardless of our socio-economic background or living situation, so I'm not sure where the "boot straps" comment comes from. 

Transitioning is expensive. Unfortunately in as much as transitioning is a choice, it's also a privilege.

Here's an analogy:

If someone wants to have a child but is not capable of raising one financially, should she still be allowed to? Morally, yeah, of course she should. But it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

 :police: Back to the topic at hand folks. Attack on a transgender person.  :police:

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 30, 2014, 12:06:56 AM
Transitioning is expensive. Unfortunately in as much as transitioning is a choice, it's also a privilege.

Here's an analogy:

If someone wants to have a child but is not capable of raising one financially, should she still be allowed to? Morally, yeah, of course she should. But it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

But again, this is a different topic.  Whether someone has the means and ability to transition on a financial level, doesn't mean that they are automatically safe from things like this.  All the girls that are raped and attacked in wealthy areas are a good example of this.  The world isn't easy as a women and being a transwoman adds to the insecurity.  Having means to transition is a different topic all together as this effects us all.  Regardless of where you live or how much you make, you can be discriminated for being trans, attacked and assaulted.  Having some money and a safe neighborhood makes things easier, but it doesn't provide as much security as it should unfortunately.

Answering back on topic; well, for me, I'm doing things to minimize being attacked. Surrounding myself with quality people. And not sticking out like a sore thumb.

I think that's a fairly good bet.

Oh my gosh Joanna, I hope you are recovering quickly.

Please don't let them get away with this you need to report this...

I really don't understand the world or the people in it anymore, this shouldn't happen to anyone...

Philly can be rough, I hope you're doing a little better now. This was a hate crime.

Total bs, I never was beaten but I got close when I first started out and I ended out running away from the town so I could just survive and  be me.  I'm really sorry this has happened to you,  I would call the police and file charges.  Now as for your hormones I can help with that possibly if the need is still there,  I switched to Injections but  have quite a little supply left over from when I was on oral,  so if you still need pm me your Addy and dosage you were taking and how much of a supply you need and I'll see if I can accommodate you.  Hang in there girl,  your one of the girls that when I see your post I read it. And like I said let me know!!!!!

I'm so sorry Joanna. :( I'm glad it didn't turn out worse than this and that you are here to tell the tale.

So sorry to hear this, Joanna. Damn... this really hits home for me too. I just found out last night that my wife's mom outed me to the whole neighborhood a while back. I was wondering why people around here were acting peculiar when they see me (still present as "male" albeit very effeminate). I found this out in a discussion with my closest and most long-term neighbor, who is a very "live-and-let-live" type, but I could tell he was really uncomfortable with it and he is an ARNP. Hell, we were waiting with him at the hospital when his son was born 1.5 yrs ago.

From what he said, the whole neighborhood knows and they don't like it. I said "it's not like I'm a sex-offender or something" and he said that's true, but compared it to a "Satan worshiper" living in the neighborhood. I guess I'm suddenly real unpopular now... funny how these same people had no problem in the past, when I was "normal", asking for my help with their air conditioners, plumbing and electrical problems, automobile repairs, etc...

I hear that last night and then read this thread this morning... guess I'd better watch my back !! (and I still have to deal with this @ work)

Get well soon, Joanna and get out of that place ASAP... again, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. It is a hate crime, plain and simple.  :(