Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: h3llsb3lls on July 01, 2014, 12:00:15 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Testing the waters has made me forget how to breathe on land
Post by: h3llsb3lls on July 01, 2014, 12:00:15 PM
I had my first day out in public as myself this last weekend. I worked the local trans support group booth at pride. Since that day, I have had the confidence to come out to several friends and share my "real" facebook with them. Being able to be myself around my limited groups of people has made the times where I have to shove it all back in the closet and answer by my birth name almost unbearable. I hate hate hate it. I thought that sticking a toe in this last weekend would give me confidence and help me on my way to my slow transition, but it just made me realize how uncomfortable I am with living the lie that my body portrays.
Title: Re: Testing the waters has made me forget how to breathe on land
Post by: JulieBlair on July 01, 2014, 12:10:23 PM
Congratulations on participating in Pride Weekend.  Pretty damn affirming isn't it!?  There is no schedule other than what you set for yourself.  It took me two years to go full time, and you seem to have been testing the water for a while.  It seems that a lot of the guys can do it faster, depending on how well you can tolerate binding and all that happy horses**t.  Remember that while you are in control of the pace, I hope you are talking to a counselor. Together you can find a schedule that works within the confines of practicality, the medical transition, and what you can reasonably deal with.

Good Luck,
j
Title: Re: Testing the waters has made me forget how to breathe on land
Post by: ChelseaAnn on July 01, 2014, 02:03:04 PM
I'm with you. I love going out as Chelsea, and the feeling is so wonderful, hanging out with girlfriends, being able to wear clothes I actually like. Then, eventually, I have to wipe off the makeup and take off the clothes (even change back to guy underwear because I get charged at work). I do think it's easier being in the closet sometimes, because there is not all the excitement of being out as yourself.