Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This could possibly be triggering, but I don't mean it to be.

When it first happened, I felt all my dreams end. The blood, the pain - the death of a boy. I can't describe in words that day - just that I sat on my folks' bed, the 11 year old me, knowing the world was over. Forever. Mother had given me a pad. it felt like a diaper and my humiliation was complete. Death had come and stole all my dreams.

But blood is blood. And blood is life. And ultimately, fascinating. Blood. Pads. Tampons.

As with everything a body gets used to, I got used to the cycle. Somewhat irregular. But it happened. Usually 3 days a month. There was a warmth in my belly. And a smell in my underwear. A smell I can't say was unpleasant. It was warm and irony. Blood. Red and brown. Sometimes black. Liquid or clumps. But warm. My stomach was warm. I craved chocolate. Masturbation relieved any cramps.

If I said I didn't miss it, it would be a lie. Sure, it was messy. And I was extremely dysphoric about it as a child. But it was also warm. Smelly. Gory.

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who masturbated during that time lol my gf thinks its gross and doesn't like being touched during that time, but it made me hornier during that time of the month lol, but on another note I can't say I miss it

I have to admit, your subject line drew me in. I had a hysterectomy due to health reasons. My doctor talked about some of the emotional impacts of the hysto and talked about how some women miss their periods. I must have given her quite a look because she sort of laughed.

I do not miss it. I don't miss it from a gender perspective, it was a piece of womanhood I never wanted. And I sure don't miss other aspects. My periods were brutal. Lots of bleeding and clots. Lots of pain. Vomiting from the pain and headaches and bouts of anemia. And that was before it got really bad :P At the bad point I never stopped bleeding. During non cycle times it wasn't much but it was constant and so was the pain.

Quote from: Ryan55 on July 01, 2014, 09:54:29 PM
I'm just glad I'm not the only one who masturbated during that time lol my gf thinks its gross and doesn't like being touched during that time, but it made me hornier during that time of the month lol, but on another note I can't say I miss it

Glad I'm not the only one LOL It helps a lot!

After so many years though, I do miss it kind of. The warmth in my gut. The smell of the blood as I take a piss...

Quote from: FA on July 01, 2014, 09:48:10 PM
This could possibly be triggering, but I don't mean it to be.

When it first happened, I felt all my dreams end. The blood, the pain - the death of a boy. I can't describe in words that day - just that I sat on my folks' bed, the 11 year old me, knowing the world was over. Forever. Mother had given me a pad. it felt like a diaper and my humiliation was complete. Death had come and stole all my dreams.

But blood is blood. And blood is life. And ultimately, fascinating. Blood. Pads. Tampons.

As with everything a body gets used to, I got used to the cycle. Somewhat irregular. But it happened. Usually 3 days a month. There was a warmth in my belly. And a smell in my underwear. A smell I can't say was unpleasant. It was warm and irony. Blood. Red and brown. Sometimes black. Liquid or clumps. But warm. My stomach was warm. I craved chocolate. Masturbation relieved any cramps.

If I said I didn't miss it, it would be a lie. Sure, it was messy. And I was extremely dysphoric about it as a child. But it was also warm. Smelly. Gory.

I found that to be rather poetic, very easy to get and imagine. I gotta say thank you FA. I'm grateful for your sharing of your experience so honestly and openly. :)

I'm pre-T and I might share your sentiments further down the road in transitioning. For now, I don't think I'll miss it since it hits me hard with cramps, bleeding and possibly leaving blood on the sheets or the couch. I hate having those mood swings that accompany it too and it's something that I'll be glad to get rid of.

Quote from: Misato on July 01, 2014, 10:22:17 PM

Quote from: FA on July 01, 2014, 09:48:10 PM
This could possibly be triggering, but I don't mean it to be.

When it first happened, I felt all my dreams end. The blood, the pain - the death of a boy. I can't describe in words that day - just that I sat on my folks' bed, the 11 year old me, knowing the world was over. Forever. Mother had given me a pad. it felt like a diaper and my humiliation was complete. Death had come and stole all my dreams.

But blood is blood. And blood is life. And ultimately, fascinating. Blood. Pads. Tampons.

As with everything a body gets used to, I got used to the cycle. Somewhat irregular. But it happened. Usually 3 days a month. There was a warmth in my belly. And a smell in my underwear. A smell I can't say was unpleasant. It was warm and irony. Blood. Red and brown. Sometimes black. Liquid or clumps. But warm. My stomach was warm. I craved chocolate. Masturbation relieved any cramps.

If I said I didn't miss it, it would be a lie. Sure, it was messy. And I was extremely dysphoric about it as a child. But it was also warm. Smelly. Gory.

I found that to be rather poetic, very easy to get and imagine. I gotta say thank you FA. I'm grateful for your sharing of your experience so honestly and openly. :)

Thanks hon.  :)

Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 01, 2014, 10:25:22 PM
I'm pre-T and I might share your sentiments further down the road in transitioning. For now, I don't think I'll miss it since it hits me hard with cramps, bleeding and possibly leaving blood on the sheets or the couch. I hate having those mood swings that accompany it too and it's something that I'll be glad to get rid of.

Yeah, I don't know if anyone else will feel like me. But. I was extremely dysphoric about it as a kid, but that changed as I got older. It's one of those things that feels like a nuisance that you might miss later (not saying you personally will).

As for me - I had this kind of sanctuary bathroom in my mother's house as a young person. A bathroom. I shot up in there and was so high that I lined the rim of the bathtub with tampons - liked to see the different colors. Bright red and moist to black and dry. All lined up on the tub.

Something about this thread and the way you describe things appeals to me, too. I just wanted to second what Misato said and thank you for sharing.

I can't decide if this is something I wish I could experience, or if I'm glad I don't have to, but it's interesting to imagine.

I want to get in here. I am pre-t and still have shark week every month.  Getting my first was very hard for me, the end of me being like the boys the played with.  The first few were light but then got cramps and more bleeding lasting 4-5 days.  The pads felt like a diapers, felt like a wet rag between my legs made running hard. Every time you peed you saw the bloody thing.  Within a year of starting I was using only tampon, so much better but still had the pain and mood changes every month.  I don't see where I could ever miss them.  I do see how mtf could wish to have them just to be more like a woman.

I convinced my ex fiance to let me try her during that time once. We both regretted it. It was gross as hell. It also seemed to intensify the smell. I love the normal smell, but not period smell.

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 01, 2014, 11:04:39 PM
I convinced my ex fiance to let me try her during that time once. We both regretted it. It was gross as hell. It also seemed to intensify the smell. I love the normal smell, but not period smell.

Well, it's not for everybody.  :laugh:

I think sex drive (and so masturbation) is increased in a lot of people around that time of the month, and playing with yourself can get rid of cramps so there's even more reason. You were not anything near alone. xD

Missing it, I dunno. Not me. I never think about it, except to notice how not-worried I am about putting pale sheets on the bed. It might be because my periods were hardly there (I was usually skinny or pregnant or nursing or on depo-provera), but I don't have any lingering fond memories or associations. The blood smell was powerful but now I smell like salty metal, and that's okay. And I have a cat now. That introduced odors that easily compete with period blood for memorability.

Not dogging on your experience, though. That's pretty cool that you got some good out of it and are able to enjoy what you have been.

Quote from: Felix on July 01, 2014, 11:36:38 PM
.And I have a cat now. That introduced odors that easily compete with period blood for memorability.

LOL  :laugh:

Lol, points for honesty :D I don't particularly want a period personally, but it's cool to hear about it in a different light.

For me.... sometimes I miss my old facial hair. I never grew much, but I would get this little dark fuzz around my chin, which is just white and weird now, and if I didn't shave it for a while it would give me this kind of, complex? look. Wild. I miss being able to look wild. Untamed. To what extent I could before.... being thin was a new thing to me as a teen and for a while I used to feel great having thick long hair, being really thin, a little fuzz, harsh brows, looking like a wild scandinavian boy.

I was worried that I might miss mine, because to be honest I found bleeding once a month kinda cool... as long as I didn't think of it in female terms. I'll admit I kinda liked seeing all that blood - I saw it as a kind of war wound. I couldn't use tampons though. Tampons were way too triggering for me.

But I haven't had a period for some time and I don't miss them one bit. If I'm really in the mood to see blood, I could always pick my nose once a month or something. And eat some out-of-date chicken to get the cramps.  ;D

What I don't miss is the migraines I used to get every month when my progesterone level would rise. Those sucked big time and could last for up to three weeks.

Quote from: mm on July 01, 2014, 11:03:32 PM
I do see how mtf could wish to have them just to be more like a woman.

While I would welcome it of it came with the whole package (I.e. The ability to be pregnant) by itself menstration seems like an inconvience. I know my ex wife actually mentioned she was jealous of the ability to regulate hormones thru pills and not needing to have a period. I find it intresting because I have never known a woman that didn't hate her period.

Sneezing was a whole level of explosive eewww on periods. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I don't miss 'em personally, the amount of stained underwear I've had to throw out make me sad.

The blood with the dark clumps always made me wonder if the dark clumps were dead eggs or if the wall of the vagina peeling off. Shhh, I know I'm uneducated.

I'd take periods if it meant a visit from the gender fairy.

There should only be one egg per month, so no. Its possible to have more than one but its rare and the higher the number the more rare it is.

Quote from: EchelonHunt on July 02, 2014, 11:00:44 AM
Sneezing was a whole level of explosive eewww on periods. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I don't miss 'em personally, the amount of stained underwear I've had to throw out make me sad.

The blood with the dark clumps always made me wonder if the dark clumps were dead eggs or if the wall of the vagina peeling off. Shhh, I know I'm uneducated.

Quote from: EchelonHunt on July 02, 2014, 11:00:44 AM
Sneezing was a whole level of explosive eewww on periods. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I don't miss 'em personally, the amount of stained underwear I've had to throw out make me sad.

The blood with the dark clumps always made me wonder if the dark clumps were dead eggs or if the wall of the vagina peeling off. Shhh, I know I'm uneducated.

I think the dark clumps are just clots... but before I found that out, I imagined it practically the same way as you describe it, lol!

Quote from: EchelonHunt on July 02, 2014, 11:00:44 AM
Sneezing was a whole level of explosive eewww on periods. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

hahahaha :)

this thread is interesting to me. It makes me realize just how bad my periods always were. from the very first one I had pain and nausea and a week plus of bleeding. I mean, there was the gender issue but there was also the fact that I'd be so freaking sick.

But, I did get horny sometimes around that time of month.

It wasn't until about 6 months after starting that the cramps/pain started and flow increased that made it harder to keep dry and clean down there with using pads.  I can't say that I get horny or excited around my flow time.

Quote from: christopher on July 02, 2014, 08:48:52 PM
hahahaha :)

this thread is interesting to me. It makes me realize just how bad my periods always were. from the very first one I had pain and nausea and a week plus of bleeding. I mean, there was the gender issue but there was also the fact that I'd be so freaking sick.

But, I did get horny sometimes around that time of month.

Mine were about as bad as yours, I genuinely thought I might be dying when I got the first one and my mother was so proud, crying and everything, then offered to come into the bathroom with me and show me how to use tampons. I have never wanted the ground to swallow me up more, nothing since has come close to the horror and embarrassment  I experienced in that moment xD Hell no I do want you to show me how to use tampons, and you're telling me this is going to happen EVERY MONTH, FOREVER? Please god no, to all of it.

I could not be happier to have them gone, FA you are so weird  :P With that being said though, I assumed at first from the title that this thread was going to be about missing them for a confirmation each month of not being pregnant :D I do sorta miss it from that perspective, but I'm overly paranoid about pregnancy, my partners had the snip and I still worry. Be getting it all taken out soon and I cannot wait!

FA:

All I can say to this tread with utter candor is, "You Da Man!"

Though I'm a transwoman, I can honestly say that I'm glad to have foregone having periods.  Not my scene.  Then, again, having been born male-bodied, who is to say?

For 16 years, I've done hospital acute care medical transcribing/edit, and I've done tons and tons of OBY/GYN reports over the years of all types.  So, because of that, I know the process very well medically, but what does that say?  Not much!  My knowledge, though really good, is strictly academic.

Never thought I'd ever heard a born female miss having periods!  Know what?  I love it.  You rock!

Thanks for your honesty.

Peace & Joy    ;)   Lacey Lynne