Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Avinia on July 03, 2014, 02:14:07 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: Avinia on July 03, 2014, 02:14:07 AM
Post by: Avinia on July 03, 2014, 02:14:07 AM
Okay, I was kind of planning on just waiting until I graduate high school to figure out all of this stuff and see a therapist, but I just noticed that 1 year is a long time, especially considering how much I have learned about my self just in the last 6 months.
Anyways, the big thing that just changed my plans was watching the documentary "I Am Jazz" and then ended up staying awake for most of the night after watching it.
So, I pretty much decided that it is probably time to start talking to a therapist before I end up doing something really stupid.. or just ignoring my feelings and hating myself for the rest of my life.
My main problem now is kind of how I would explain it to my parents, since I never really talk about my feelings around them, and I am home schooled so I can't really bring it up with anyone besides my parents. I do remember my parents talking about me seeing a therapist though for anti-social issues, but I can't tell if they were serious or not, yet it seems like the easiest option for me at this point.
What do you smart people think about this? I still would have to think about how to bring it up with my parents, but I guess I could just say I am worried about my social issues(which are actually kind of related to me hating my gender anyways I guess)... which probably would work since I kind of have not been socializing a lot lately.
Also I am considering starting a journal thing? Thanks... just realized I am once again up at 12am.
Anyways, the big thing that just changed my plans was watching the documentary "I Am Jazz" and then ended up staying awake for most of the night after watching it.
So, I pretty much decided that it is probably time to start talking to a therapist before I end up doing something really stupid.. or just ignoring my feelings and hating myself for the rest of my life.
My main problem now is kind of how I would explain it to my parents, since I never really talk about my feelings around them, and I am home schooled so I can't really bring it up with anyone besides my parents. I do remember my parents talking about me seeing a therapist though for anti-social issues, but I can't tell if they were serious or not, yet it seems like the easiest option for me at this point.
What do you smart people think about this? I still would have to think about how to bring it up with my parents, but I guess I could just say I am worried about my social issues(which are actually kind of related to me hating my gender anyways I guess)... which probably would work since I kind of have not been socializing a lot lately.
Also I am considering starting a journal thing? Thanks... just realized I am once again up at 12am.
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: LordKAT on July 03, 2014, 03:57:23 AM
Post by: LordKAT on July 03, 2014, 03:57:23 AM
The depression and social issues are good reasons to ask your parents to see a therapist. Whether or not the therapist they want is versed in gender issues may be another obstacle, or you may get lucky.
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: stephaniec on July 03, 2014, 01:14:35 PM
Post by: stephaniec on July 03, 2014, 01:14:35 PM
at least you get a foot in the door with a therapist hopefully who will be good and guide you down the correct path.
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: Dee Marshall on July 03, 2014, 01:40:05 PM
Post by: Dee Marshall on July 03, 2014, 01:40:05 PM
As a minor make VERY clear to the therapist that zie doesn't have authorization to discuss you with your parents. If zie won't agree walk, don't run to the nearest exit.
Some therapists believe that they're obligated to keep parent in the loop. Also, get zir name and look zir up on the Internet.
(Gender nonspecific pronouns used)
Some therapists believe that they're obligated to keep parent in the loop. Also, get zir name and look zir up on the Internet.
(Gender nonspecific pronouns used)
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: awilliams1701 on July 03, 2014, 01:56:53 PM
Post by: awilliams1701 on July 03, 2014, 01:56:53 PM
Odds are you're going to be in therapy a while before HRT becomes a possibility. Starting sooner in therapy makes HRT when you're ready a larger possibility.
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: billiejane on July 03, 2014, 02:09:50 PM
Post by: billiejane on July 03, 2014, 02:09:50 PM
hey, i feel alot similar to you in many ways, i recently saw my doctor who has referred me to a gender identity clinic where hopefully i can see a therapist to help me understand everything. unfortunately as i live in the UK and its all nhs run, there is a really long waiting time :/
i still am pretty confused about it all and am not really sure what i want, and if i am even this at all, so i dont know.
I am really kinda socially isolated with not many friends, and i told my sister how i felt first who was really cool, and then told one of my only friends (although alot of homemade cider did give me courage).
I told my mother a couple weeks ago, and although she doesnt understand, and we sorta have an agreement not to talk about it, she still said she loves me and will support me no matter what i choose, even if she doesnt see it as me, or feels against it.
as to how i told her, i just sat down with her one night, and said i have something important to say, said how i was always feeling down, and always got into arguments quickly, or felt irritated because of it. in the end i didnt have the courage to say it straight up, but she said it and i just affirmed it.
as to keeping a journal, i think its a great idea, it really helped me understand what i feel, just by being able to read it, although i have been lazy recently and stopped writing in it, i really should get back to it. its so much better to write it down than have it rolling around in my head, making me feel insane and crazy, and stopping me from thinking about anything else. i say you should definatly start one, and in the end it really doesnt hurt to have a place where you can put everything you feel.
as to your therapist, im pretty sure they do not have to tell parents things due to the patient confidentiality stuff, at least in the UK anyway. as a minor it might be different, or maybe in a different country, but i think it would be covered by that anyway.
i still am pretty confused about it all and am not really sure what i want, and if i am even this at all, so i dont know.
I am really kinda socially isolated with not many friends, and i told my sister how i felt first who was really cool, and then told one of my only friends (although alot of homemade cider did give me courage).
I told my mother a couple weeks ago, and although she doesnt understand, and we sorta have an agreement not to talk about it, she still said she loves me and will support me no matter what i choose, even if she doesnt see it as me, or feels against it.
as to how i told her, i just sat down with her one night, and said i have something important to say, said how i was always feeling down, and always got into arguments quickly, or felt irritated because of it. in the end i didnt have the courage to say it straight up, but she said it and i just affirmed it.
as to keeping a journal, i think its a great idea, it really helped me understand what i feel, just by being able to read it, although i have been lazy recently and stopped writing in it, i really should get back to it. its so much better to write it down than have it rolling around in my head, making me feel insane and crazy, and stopping me from thinking about anything else. i say you should definatly start one, and in the end it really doesnt hurt to have a place where you can put everything you feel.
as to your therapist, im pretty sure they do not have to tell parents things due to the patient confidentiality stuff, at least in the UK anyway. as a minor it might be different, or maybe in a different country, but i think it would be covered by that anyway.
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: Avinia on July 04, 2014, 02:07:34 AM
Post by: Avinia on July 04, 2014, 02:07:34 AM
Thanks for the replies, I was actually a bit worried after posting this, though, I always get worried after I post something.
I did guess, and actually hope that it would take a while to actually start HRT, so I can be mostly certain when I eventually do transition.
Anyways, I will probably talk to my mom about it after the weekend since first I don't really want to ruin the time my older brother is home, and like I mentioned, my parents scare me. I just find it kind of a bit more easy to talk to my mom about more serious things though, especially because she has seemed so interested in how Catholics treat the LGBT community recently.
Also remembered that my mom used to watch a show about SRS a few years ago, and I think she has pretty much asked me about it in the past(from what I can remember at least).
I guess for when I eventually do come out to my family though, I can make them understand a bit about how serious it is, since I kind of almost attempted suicide in 2012(one of the reasons I didn't was because I realized I am afraid of knives), and have been self harming for most of my life....
Hmm... sorry if this post is all over the place, I am a bit excited right now I guess.
I did guess, and actually hope that it would take a while to actually start HRT, so I can be mostly certain when I eventually do transition.
Anyways, I will probably talk to my mom about it after the weekend since first I don't really want to ruin the time my older brother is home, and like I mentioned, my parents scare me. I just find it kind of a bit more easy to talk to my mom about more serious things though, especially because she has seemed so interested in how Catholics treat the LGBT community recently.
Also remembered that my mom used to watch a show about SRS a few years ago, and I think she has pretty much asked me about it in the past(from what I can remember at least).
I guess for when I eventually do come out to my family though, I can make them understand a bit about how serious it is, since I kind of almost attempted suicide in 2012(one of the reasons I didn't was because I realized I am afraid of knives), and have been self harming for most of my life....
Hmm... sorry if this post is all over the place, I am a bit excited right now I guess.
Title: Re: Thinking about therapy or something I guess.
Post by: JoanneB on July 04, 2014, 11:17:44 AM
Post by: JoanneB on July 04, 2014, 11:17:44 AM
Getting to a therapist to talk things out is a good idea. Living in your head and having only your own answers hardly works out I found. Any therapist would be a good start. Even better one who is at least friendly or knowledgeable of trans issues. A simple way is to 'suggest' who you want to see because of some nebulous "a friend" or I heard response from a teen is about the best they can expect as to why. A way to find a friendly can begin with searching the Psychology Today doc finder for someone under gender issues.
A great resource may be the nearest PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) group. Trans is often well represented. I have seen firsthand the passion of the members in the Baltimore (I think) group during the (many) Maryland TG Rights bills hearings. Try contacting a local chapter about resources.
Being underage makes it tricky when it comes to a TG support group. If you are in a big city there may be an organization dealing with only LGBTQ youth. In rural WV / MD area where my group is we want a parents permission / knowledge of their attendance to cover our buts.
A great resource may be the nearest PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) group. Trans is often well represented. I have seen firsthand the passion of the members in the Baltimore (I think) group during the (many) Maryland TG Rights bills hearings. Try contacting a local chapter about resources.
Being underage makes it tricky when it comes to a TG support group. If you are in a big city there may be an organization dealing with only LGBTQ youth. In rural WV / MD area where my group is we want a parents permission / knowledge of their attendance to cover our buts.