Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was going to put this in the What Made You Happy thread, but this was a special kind of happy which I'm sure many of us has experienced and might like to share. It's when your gender identity is confirmed, and it's often just a little inconsequential thing but gosh it makes your heart sing!

For example, this little gem within a fairly lengthy email that was sent to a number of my work colleagues about an in-progress project that we are all working on...

Quote...Grace to work on this when she lays it out.

I've seen my name in a number of emails now, but this is the first time I can remember seeing myself referred to in writing as "she"... don't know why it makes me feel so freakin' happy, it just does! ;D

Also, last week I was chairing a work meeting and the new boss (also a woman) called me "Madam Chair" and wow, did that make me feel awesome or what?

great topic idea! I'll join in.

Seeing myself in the mirror for the first time, hair styled properly, make up (basic stuff, concealer, foundation, eyeliner, blusher) nails done, denim skirt, tights, low heel boots and a great big smile. Something about it just felt like thats what my head says I look like when the mirror said otherwise, feminine as opposed to masculine

For me it's those moments it becomes obvious that people who have only known you since you started transition have seemingly forgotten your history..

Here's an example..

I was talking to my adopted daugter recently about a trip to the gyno and having left feeling a little violated.. She admitted later in the conversation that she'd simply assumed I'd had a pap smear.

I was at a dinner at my church a few months ago. After the dinner, the men set about clearing away the tables and chairs and the women went into the kitchen to get all the dishes and pots clean. (I know, amazingly gendered behavior for such a progressive church).

I went with the women, and we worked together for about 45 minutes getting all the dishes clean and put away. It felt so natural to be there and to be in their company.

Doesn't sound like much when I write it now, but it was a really special feeling.

It feels so natural to me when I sit on the couch in a tanktop and shorts, with a can of beer, tortilla chips and guacamole, and watch the World Cup games on TV and screaming whenever a player misses a good opportunity to make a goal.

Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 07, 2014, 07:42:02 AM
It feels so natural to me when I sit on the couch in a tanktop and shorts, with a can of beer, tortilla chips and guacamole, and watch the World Cup games on TV and screaming whenever a player misses a good opportunity to make a goal.

Dude! Did you fart? Jeez man, did something die up there?

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 07, 2014, 07:32:52 AM
I was at a dinner at my church a few months ago. After the dinner, the men set about clearing away the tables and chairs and the women went into the kitchen to get all the dishes and pots clean. (I know, amazingly gendered behavior for such a progressive church).

I went with the women, and we worked together for about 45 minutes getting all the dishes clean and put away. It felt so natural to be there and to be in their company.

Doesn't sound like much when I write it now, but it was a really special feeling.

I totally get this Suzi. Even though I'm not quite out all the way just yet when I am out en femme I am being treated by people as a female, and sometimes that means doing things that tend to be associated with females like washing the dishes. That just comes with the territory and I knew that was going to be the case going in. I look at stuff like that as validation that I'm seen as a woman and i'm being treated the same as any other woman gets treated in our society. Doing mundane chores with the ladies is a great way to get to know them and to form a deeper relationship with them.

On the other hand there are good things that come with that same territory - guys offering to walk me to my car at night (I never quite understood what this means to a female but I totally get it now), guys flirting, having girl friends and having them call me up to discuss female drama, feeling right in my own skin, going shopping alongside other ladies and fitting in, realizing that my own mother is starting to communicate with me as a female to female, and so on.

It's all of these little validation things that make my golden moments.

laying on my stomach cross legged with my feet in the air and being able to watching some sappy romance movie with tears in my eyes without running from my computer screen.

Quote from: kelly_aus on July 07, 2014, 08:21:28 AM
Dude! Did you fart? Jeez man, did something die up there?

Of course not! ;)

Guys who would normally just let doors slam in my face, now stop and hold the door open and make eye contact :)

Seeing the name "Caroline" on letters that come to me in the mail still makes me smile. :)

My grand nephew (3 years old) tried to figure out how we were related and finally concluded that I was "grandma's little sister", which I totally need to put on some business cards :)
Meanwhile, my grand niece (8 months old) refers to me as "Gagaboo. DAAAAAAA" *grabs my nose*

Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 07, 2014, 07:42:02 AM
It feels so natural to me when I sit on the couch in a tanktop and shorts, with a can of beer, tortilla chips and guacamole, and watch the World Cup games on TV and screaming whenever a player misses a good opportunity to make a goal.

I can relate to this.  For me, it's when I'm watching MMA or boxing live on tv and I have a drink in my hand and I'm ready for a guy to get beat down.


Then I get that feeling from playing video games or from women.

I still don't know what it's like to have a gender identity :c

 How I felt yesterday. How I felt today. This is the way its supposed to be. Me smiling outside and in. The smile that shines bright on the inside is that golden moment. I feel like me.  :)

At the newsagent check out, a woman in front of me looking for something in her hand bag gestures to the cashier and says "serve that lady first"... ;D

Quote from: sad panda on July 07, 2014, 04:47:44 PM
I still don't know what it's like to have a gender identity :c

Maybe someday you'll know. I hope you do find yourself. Be it boy, girl, or just being content in between.

Being stared at by the (obvious) gay men on the streets is a thrill... but I don't know what they are thinking though.

I've also noticed that now that I don't look like a girl anymore on the outside, so it's like weird when I get door slammed in my face, or not getting that 'extra service' many girls get from guys, f.ex. taking the bus today, as a girl people would always let me off first, but now people just run over me, and I have to wait till last, etc etc. But those are just things you have to let go :angel:

Quote from: Megan Joanne on July 07, 2014, 05:03:34 PM
Maybe someday you'll know. I hope you do find yourself. Be it boy, girl, or just being content in between.

Thank you :)

Quote from: sad panda on July 07, 2014, 04:47:44 PM
I still don't know what it's like to have a gender identity :c

like megan said. do what you feel comes natural to you and take it from there. hell, dress up in a clown suit wearing mismatch socks riding a cow with a tuna fish bowl in your hand if that makes you feel comfortable xD gender doesnt define who we are, it just separates the bees from the birds if that make sense xD you'll find it hun, but when you do, invite me to the party xD hahaha!!!!!

Quote from: King Malachite on July 07, 2014, 04:44:42 PM
I can relate to this.  For me, it's when I'm watching MMA or boxing live on tv and I have a drink in my hand and I'm ready for a guy to get beat down.


Then I get that feeling from playing video games or from women.

Same here! Trying to be a girl takes a lot of effort and doesn't come naturally to me.

Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 07, 2014, 08:08:01 PM
Same here! Trying to be a girl takes a lot of effort and doesn't come naturally to me.

You got that right!

Quote from: Ms Grace on July 07, 2014, 05:01:07 PM
At the newsagent check out, a woman in front of me looking for something in her hand bag gestures to the cashier and says "serve that lady first"... ;D

Gee... got called "lady" several times today. Not that I'm complaining. Must be doing something right I suppose!

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 07, 2014, 07:32:52 AM

I went with the women, and we worked together for about 45 minutes getting all the dishes clean and put away. It felt so natural to be there and to be in their company.

Doesn't sound like much when I write it now, but it was a really special feeling.

I can so relate to that, when I married my husband I joined a women group, it's mostly a group of housewives, sharing cooking skills etc, a wide range of women's issues, we go on girly nights out, not a man to be seen, it is a very special feeling, it does confirm, I am definitely 1 of the girls.

Quote from: Ms Grace on July 07, 2014, 06:25:50 AM

I've seen my name in a number of emails now, but this is the first time I can remember seeing myself referred to in writing as "she"... don't know why it makes me feel so freakin' happy, it just does! ;D

Also, last week I was chairing a work meeting and the new boss (also a woman) called me "Madam Chair" and wow, did that make me feel awesome or what?

I know what you mean. When I transitioned at work many years ago there was one woman in the office who said she would never call me Caroline under any circumstances. She didn't call me Bob, but just avoided using any name or gendering me. She was as good as her word. However, one day after several months of this treatment, I returned from lunch to find a note on my desk from her which said

QuoteCaroline, Sasha called and asked if you could ring her back. Jean

I was secretly overjoyed but didn't say anything to her. I rang Sasha as requested and also asked her if I could ring her later. When I got home I called Sasha and asked her how Jean had gendered me on the phone. She said: "She just said Caroline's not here at the moment. Do you want me to give her a message to call you when she gets back from lunch?"

Awesome result. It was about a week later that I heard Jean talking to somebody on the phone and heard my name mentioned and she gendered me correctly.

Thirty years later, I still have that little note! :angel:

It's a reminder of the rocky road we all travel.

Caroline
x

I had 1 of them precious moments last night, myself and my husband, my sister-in-law and her husband, and 4 work colleagues of my husband all male, went an event last night, 1 of the guys was a stranger and was introduced to the rest of the group, he offered his hand to the guys and they all shook hands, but when it came to myself and my sister-in-law, he gave me a kiss and a hug, when it came to studying the menu, he just said  ''ladies first, after you'' just a little golden moment I always treasure, he was a real gentleman.