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Title: New here - spouse of a CD
Post by: dazed-confused on July 10, 2014, 03:42:52 PM
Post by: dazed-confused on July 10, 2014, 03:42:52 PM
Hello all! I'm from the Middle of Nowhere, USA - rural, bible belt and feeling a bit dazed and confused since my husband of 20 plus years tells me he has the urge to CD. This was in May and while I have coped for the most part I'm still having issues and trying to make sense of this new life. I love my husband and our family so we can both find a way to meddle through this and still have each of us be happy. That is my biggest issue right now I think.
I'm just not sure that we can both be happy and not resent the other in some way? You could say when he told me I had a bit of a melt down. The idea of it turned me off - and I was also torn because I consider my self a very open minded person and have a few gay friends and am a firm believe of it's not a choice you just are. I love my husband so I want him to be sure to be true to himself but because of the nature of this I also didn't want to be married to someone that one day may or may not want to transition into a woman. He is adamant that he is 100% hetro but seeing this NEW side of him I'm wondering? I say new side of him because this is all completely different from the him I married. He was never one that was at all femme he had no 'sensitive side' all the material I collected said you know this person it's just a deeper version - well he's not - it's a whole new person and more the opposite of what he was so this is really hard.
Anyway I'm just trying to make my way through this and hoping to find a few friends and support along the way.
Coping2014
I'm just not sure that we can both be happy and not resent the other in some way? You could say when he told me I had a bit of a melt down. The idea of it turned me off - and I was also torn because I consider my self a very open minded person and have a few gay friends and am a firm believe of it's not a choice you just are. I love my husband so I want him to be sure to be true to himself but because of the nature of this I also didn't want to be married to someone that one day may or may not want to transition into a woman. He is adamant that he is 100% hetro but seeing this NEW side of him I'm wondering? I say new side of him because this is all completely different from the him I married. He was never one that was at all femme he had no 'sensitive side' all the material I collected said you know this person it's just a deeper version - well he's not - it's a whole new person and more the opposite of what he was so this is really hard.
Anyway I'm just trying to make my way through this and hoping to find a few friends and support along the way.
Coping2014
Title: Re: New here - spouse of a CD
Post by: Jessica Merriman on July 10, 2014, 03:58:31 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on July 10, 2014, 03:58:31 PM
A big warm welcome! This is a very complex issue and I hope you find the resources here to be a help. From listening to other SOs here your reactions sound normal. To be with someone you think you know and then find out about this later must be a huge shock. Just know you are by no far means alone in this as it happens every day somewhere. :)
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