Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey girls, I'm having a BIG laziness problem and furthermore with my super busy and hectic schedule I'm evading and skipping sometimes 2 days and I'm just like 6 weeks post op. I'm dilating the strict minimum. I'm just curious to know after how many days of NOT dilating does it close. I just wanna what's the borderline limit so as not to cross it to avoid disasters. I'm 6 weeks post op and I'm still stuck with dilator No.1.  ::)

Why would you risk any shrinkage in something you paid so much money for?? :) It's tough, but having surgery and then failing at maintaining the thing you like the rest of us wanted for most of your life seems silly. That said, I'm 2 years out, and I just had my girlfriend stay with me for a month... Lots to do, didn't have much time either, so I dilated once at 2 weeks, and once about an hour ago since she just left lol.... At this much time, not a problem going a few weeks. At your time, I'd be going harder than they suggest, not easier... just my 2 cents.

It depends on the person, but the general rule of thumb is that if it's really difficult/painful/prolonged to get the dilator in after a stretch of skipping, that was too much time off. (For me, at 2 years post-op, I have *just* gotten down to the once a week my surgeon recommended. Even a day longer than that and it still hurts a lot.)

At six weeks, I'll second everyone else - it's SO new and healing that the rules are different than they will be a bit later on, and you really don't want to risk it. I don't know anyone for whom it closed up completely, but there are several stories on here alone of women who skipped a couple of days and had a ton of trouble, or who were in so much pain that they reduced dilation frequency and within a couple of weeks had to consider being surgically re-opened.

"Never give up!" Did you not say that you have a depth of no more than 4"? Would you like to keep that depth or are you fine with it shrinking somewhat? I'd be interested to know if you are finding it more difficult to dilate by skipping 2 days of dilation.

EB, the way it was explained to me is that dilating early on is vital to preventing prolapse.

The tissue in your vagina and the surrounding tissue needs to be pressed together periodically for them to heal together and adhere. My surgeon warned me that if I did not dilate according to her schedule, that prolapse could be a result.

Suzi : Ooooh, that is a good point; I forgot about that. And Padma's thread going on right now is a great example of why no one wants a prolapse (poor woman!). Not that she skipped dilations, it sounds like she was just unlucky.

Quote from: Nicolette on July 16, 2014, 07:52:19 AM
"Never give up!" Did you not say that you have a depth of no more than 4"? Would you like to keep that depth or are you fine with it shrinking somewhat? I'd be interested to know if you are finding it more difficult to dilate by skipping 2 days of dilation.

I haven't given up yet on dilating hihihi. Sometimes I just think for intercourse anal is better and I got a technique already to make guys believe they are doing it with me via vagina when in fact it's anal. The main importance is they just need to see a vagina down there and I'm lucky my vagina came out very beautiful and perfect aesthetically, that's the main good. You can't have all in life anyways. So embarassing if only half their penis can enter me and here the average guys is like 6/7. Anally I can accomodate 8inch guys. I started anal 3 weeks post op as soon as I stepped back home. Furthermore I don't find any pleasure via vaginal but a bit more with anal. I'm not finding any difficulty to dilate. I'm just stuck on number 1 and not moving on No.2 cos I'm lazy to. Not saying that my vagina is useless and I wouldnt care seeing it close.  I'm among the very few who ended up with that disaster of 4 inch. Majority end up with 6 inch with my surgeon. I can potentially accomodate 5 inch guys but anyways. Just laziness is my problem and I'm not in a hurry with it cos I don't really see me using it with the majority of guys. But just curious to know to avoid disasters.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 16, 2014, 07:58:35 AM
EB, the way it was explained to me is that dilating early on is vital to preventing prolapse.

The tissue in your vagina and the surrounding tissue needs to be pressed together periodically for them to heal together and adhere. My surgeon warned me that if I did not dilate according to her schedule, that prolapse could be a result.

omg omg omg. Ok I'll be back doing it as from today, seriously.  :o

Once a month is fine for me. Never heard the prolapse myth before.

Quote from: Samantha007 on July 16, 2014, 12:12:59 PM

Unless you had your surgery with a super surgeon who pioneered a new technique that creates a super neovagina, then you would be susceptible to prolapse at 6 weeks post op. I have never heard of someone dialating just once a month. Even those who are a few years post-op do have to dialate at least once a fortnight.

Evovling Beauty, don't jeopardise something so precious that you fought so hard to acquire. Since my surgery, I have always added one extra dialation to the schedule advised by my surgeon despite work commitments. I have even ordered larger dialators from the states to ensure maximum depth and girth.

hugs,

Samantha

If you are 6 w post op then you must adhere to a strict dilation routine.
I am 3 yrs post op and dilate once a month. I maintain depth and width. I know a few who do it perhaps every few months, but they are 10+ yrs post op. The first months are critical that you follow the routine several times a day. Do that in the initial 3 months then there are not usually complications. To say that it must be done weekly or fortnightly for life in order to maintain depth is simply not true.

Those first 3 months were just a blur of eat, sleep and dilate.

Is this something you can just insert, dress and go out and about?

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 16, 2014, 01:24:39 PM
Is this something you can just insert, dress and go out and about?

Now there's an idea :-)

This is years away for me, and I'm willing to make the effort either way, but it seems like a good question to me. Depending on the length it may stick out too far though. I also have no idea what its supposed to feel like so I could totally see it getting uncomfortable after a while.

You don't walk around with them. Would do yourself an injury.

Yeah, there's a huge difference between brand-new and healing and long post-op. Clearly some people clearly do luck out in the "barely need to dilate" camp *eventually.*

Also, personally, my muscles push the dilator back out unless I'm holding it in. :)  So I'd have to find a way to STRAP it in, and... no. Seems like a bad idea.

Those first few months really are critical and its worth investing the time to dilate properly. I always used music to relax and could fall asleep sometimes. The more relaxed the easier it is.

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 16, 2014, 01:24:39 PM
Is this something you can just insert, dress and go out and about?

No, nor would You to be honest,  I have dilated a couple times during a shower but it wasn't fun.

EB  during the first year is critical,  no if and or buts, not only is it necessary for tissue to heal together, but during the first year is critical on establishing width, plus  why you would take the risk of anal,  there is a chance that while Mr big is pounding away he will undo where your vagina is anchored and or possibly  cause a fistula and then essentially make you bleed out,  and what's worse he could do it in a way you might not see and cause internal  bleeding. An of course the possibility of if all this happening getting stuck on a colostomy bag for life.  I'm sorry but you are seriously lacking in common sense about all this.

I would definitely follow the instructions to the letter for the first stage. I wouldn't even consider doing what I mentioned during that period.

Yeah Samantha & calico. You're both right. I'm doing great effort to start over again seriously and I already begun today. As from today I will be constant and make huge effort. Thx for your advices.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 16, 2014, 01:38:35 PM
Also, personally, my muscles push the dilator back out unless I'm holding it in. :)  So I'd have to find a way to STRAP it in, and... no. Seems like a bad idea.

And I'll add that if not secured properly, the dilator, upon sneezing, instantly transforms into a projectile weapon!

Nicolette : Ha, I know! I was afraid I'd take out a cat.

Evolving Beauty : I'm glad to hear it!!

Not going to comment.

It is funny how way back in the day (all the wants wishes and expectations) i could see this question coming.

But not everyone can handle the time they need to make sure there surgery is a success.

Doctors give us these post op directions for a reason.

I so wish you the best.

Izzy

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 16, 2014, 01:24:39 PM
Is this something you can just insert, dress and go out and about?

OMG!!
Just going to stand in the corner and shake my head on this.
::) ???

Sounds like fun!  >:-)

Quote from: Nicolette on July 16, 2014, 02:45:01 PM
And I'll add that if not secured properly, the dilator, upon sneezing, instantly transforms into a projectile weapon!

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 16, 2014, 01:24:39 PM
Is this something you can just insert, dress and go out and about?

I actually tried that once. It was not pretty. At all. And I was only outside my door planning to go for a walk then Im like:
'Screw this its gonna pop out if I sneeze'

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 16, 2014, 01:34:15 PM
This is years away for me, and I'm willing to make the effort either way, but it seems like a good question to me. Depending on the length it may stick out too far though. I also have no idea what its supposed to feel like so I could totally see it getting uncomfortable after a while.

Under no circumstances can i imagine this would be good. For dilation to be effective, it pretty much as to be uncomfortable. Not painful necessarily, but it is done with a totally rock hard pyrex dilator for a reason instead of something softer: so the tissues that try to contract each day (esp in the first months) get restretched out back to their medically made size, or even larger/wider. My doc was adamant that if it isn't uncomfortable, then do it a tiny bit deeper or wider until is uncomfortable, then stay at that point for the 15-30 minutes or whatever time we were at. Long story short, doing that while walking around would be impossible, even without the risk of injury, lubrication leaking / drying out (oh, don't even get me started about sneezing:)

Quote from: thegreenrabbit on July 16, 2014, 01:22:03 PM
Those first 3 months were just a blur of eat, sleep and dilate.

That is just sooooooo right.  Six times a day, every day, for 3 months. I thought it would never end. LOL it did end, and I'm so pleased of preserving.. It was worth every effort.

Embrace, enjoy and consider it a privilege..

Huggs
Catherine

How long does the operation take you down? Are you in bed for the first month or just lightly moving around the house or is it even shorter than that?

I'll say up front that it depends very much on the surgeon; the Thai surgeons in particular believe in long bed rest. (Evolving Beauty, you should be aware that this is sometimes reported as being b/c their technique carries a higher risk of prolapse...)

Brassard had me up and walking by 18 hours post-op, and I was walking 10 minutes out of every hour I was awake (and not dilating, etc.) by day 3. I could walk maybe a quarter mile by the time I got home on day 12, and went back to work full-time at a desk job at the 4-week mark. I wished I'd taken one more week, but I managed.

On the flip side, I tired *very* easily. So I could go for a mile walk, or work all day - but that was it for my energy for the day. I don't think I got back to 100% energy levels until like six months later, and I was still getting sick easily for close to a year post-op.

That doesn't sound too bad. I was more worried about being trapped in bed for weeks than missing work for a month.

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 17, 2014, 06:46:30 PM
That doesn't sound too bad. I was more worried about being trapped in bed for weeks than missing work for a month.

As in the OPs question you will be stuck in bed for months but for the Dilation schedule if you do what you are instructed to do.

Izzy

My rule of thumb for deciding the priority of dilation vs other things in my life is this:
Losing a vagina is about as devastating a loss as most women could imagine. We are talking major medical emergency, more than a limb in most cases.
So, until I medically no longer need to dilate like I do, I will treat conflicts like I would a threat to my arm or my leg or thumbs.

If a relationship means I can't keep dilating, that relationship is not healthy and it ends. There will always be someone else.
If a job means I can't keep dilating, that job is done. There will always be another job.
And so on.

By the way, I will second what everyone has said. My Thai surgeon didn't require bed rest after the first 4-5 days in the surgery center, but was confined to my hotel room for another 5-7 days, and to hotel for another 4-7 days beyond that. I did the lesser of all those numbers because in the nurses' opinion I was recovering so well. Just listen to your body, to your doctor and nurses, and don't exhaust yourself because it takes much longer to recover your stamina once you are exhausted.

Please don't be lazy when it comes to your vaginal health, it's probably one of the most important investments you have made.

Keep stretching it sister girlfriend, or get someone else to  :laugh:

Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 17, 2014, 06:46:30 PM
That doesn't sound too bad. I was more worried about being trapped in bed for weeks than missing work for a month.

If you have a physical job you will NOT be back to work in a month or less. Possibly not less than three months if there is heavy lifting, etc. SRS is major surgery.

What will you do if it closes.
You may have to go to hospital as an emergency room patient because you will be unable to pee.
The pee in your body has to go someplace inside which will put toxin in your body.

A friend of mine preferred to bowl instead of dilating, now she has trouble with her urinary system.

I am not that far post op(110 days), and am on a decent schedule of an hour of dilation a day split over three twenty minute sessions. It works for me and I don't see reducing that schedule until my granulation is fully resolved.

Besides being in the surgeons guidelines, dilation can be tapered off long term. I know some decade plus post ops that are rather casual with dilation, like once in a blue moon...the literal measurement.

Quote from: thegreenrabbit on July 16, 2014, 01:36:01 PM
You don't walk around with them. Would do yourself an injury.

You can safely sleep with a soft bendy dilator in place.
Basically I find that after three days I get tight and sore but probably because I had the colonvaginoplasty op.

I have to wear a very soft "place holder" between the dilating session in the first aix months. First two months I have to dilate three times a day. That is hard. My life really splits into sleeping, working and dilating. But it is worth. I am so happy with my new vagina that I would to everything to preserve it.

Lara

Get this, i went 10 years not dilating out of laziness/being in a sexual abstinent relationship, and my vagina did not "close up". I think that's a myth (at least in my experience). But i did lose depth and width in that time, probably about 2 inches of depth (which sucks because i didn't have much to start with), and maybe 1/2 inch of width. I'll probably end up having to have a total redo of my surgery to get my depth back (actually i'm hoping i'll get more than i had initially, which was probably 5-5 1/2 inches), if i decide to go that route and if i deem it worth the time/pain/cost/possible complications.

When you say bowl do you mean the sport or some kind of TG term I'm not familiar with?

Quote from: janetcgtv on August 03, 2014, 11:10:49 PM
What will you do if it closes.
You may have to go to hospital as an emergency room patient because you will be unable to pee.
The pee in your body has to go someplace inside which will put toxin in your body.

A friend of mine preferred to bowl instead of dilating, now she has trouble with her urinary system.

awilliams:

I meant the sport of throwing a bowling ball down a lane to get a strike or spare. It wasn't a new TG word. She is paying for it now  with her urinary system. I lost tract of her as she moved to another state.

Nothing is important enough to risk another surgery. Oh well

Sounds to me like someone was not prepared enough to get a surgery OK and letter. Surely this attitude manifested itself somehow in therapy. Bowling over dilation? She should have been denied surgery until she was better equipped to do proper aftercare both mentally and educationally. :)

Jessica and Awilliams:

I don't know how many times I had to argue with her to dilate. But another friend, even though I was inconvenienced when I had to pee. I was proud of her dilating herself.
We were in a TG wig store.

Quote from: janetcgtv on August 21, 2014, 10:15:03 PM
Jessica and Awilliams:

I don't know how many times I had to argue with her to dilate. But another friend, even though I was inconvenienced when I had to pee. I was proud of her dilating herself.
We were in a TG wig store.

Ok now i am confused.  ???

With that said lets try and pull this back in OPs question at start.

Do your aftercare maintenance.

mrs izzy:

The friend I argued with to dilate herself ended up with  urinary  problems. I don't know if she has survived or not.

The other friend is doing very well because she took care of herself.

Why would anyone want to take a chance with their health or they try to guess how many days
it would take for their vagina to close up by not dilating?

Quote from: janetcgtv on August 21, 2014, 10:47:29 PM
Why would anyone want to take a chance with their health or they try to guess how many days
it would take for their vagina to close up by not dilating?

That has been the point expressed.

Not everyone is prepared for the after care and there is always a few looking to cheat there maintained aftercare schedule.

Love your point. Just little confused in your earlier post.

Hugs. 

Quote from: janetcgtv on August 03, 2014, 11:10:49 PM
What will you do if it closes.
You may have to go to hospital as an emergency room patient because you will be unable to pee.
The pee in your body has to go someplace inside which will put toxin in your body.

A friend of mine preferred to bowl instead of dilating, now she has trouble with her urinary system.

errrm...you know we don't dilate the urethra, right?

Quote from: cruise4burgers on August 22, 2014, 10:52:41 AM
errrm...you know we don't dilate the urethra, right?

If you don't dilate it can change the position of the urethra and essentially make it where you would pee in the vaginal cavity, unfortunately this is something very real that can happen.

Quote from: calico on August 24, 2014, 06:19:02 PM
If you don't dilate it can change the position of the urethra and essentially make it where you would pee in the vaginal cavity, unfortunately this is something very real that can happen.

thats really crazy. i had no idea that could happen. i only dilate every 2-3 weeks. i will do it more often after that advice.

Good to know!

Yea it's seriously bad stuff,  before I decided to have srs/grs I wanted to know what I had decided to get myself into, mind you it didn't matter what the cost or possible consequences I had decided I was ready no matter what, and what I came across was well educational.  As most know typically urine is for the most part sterile,  that is until it leaves the bladder, at which has point it starts harboring bacteria, and we'll that can go very South very quickly.  You can pretty much imagine what could happen if said bacteria filled urine could possibly do if it so happened to make its way to the vagina and got trapped there.  In fact this problem does not just effect the trans community alone but also natal born as well. I believe it's called urethral prolapse,  another thing I want to mention is it is also important to urinate after Intercourse,  to avoid a possible bladder infection. (I had this happen to me, and I didn't know till a girl at work educated me)
Please everyone,  I know it's been mentioned but I stress you to follow your Dr's dilation regimen and for those waiting or deciding when or if srs will happen, take what I have said seriously, or the best outcome from the wrong choice could you being a eunuch and peeing in to a bag.