Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Although I am not started transitioning, I must say since I felt sure where I would be going, I have been putting much more emphasis on my looks. Partially because I am not on HRT and also because I think it's expression of all internalized ideas about feminine beauty.

I didn't use to be like this, but now I find myself putting on acne cream everyday, lotions all over my body, shaving arm pits, legs, whereever I can, even if the hair is not substantial at all. I really feel reall upset for hair over my body, even if it is tiny. I have been tweezing the hairs  that grow on my face too, because I have got no beard. I notice details on faces more than I did. I even feel more shallow to a degree, and I find myself wishing to be beautiful and pretty. Mind you, I have a sort of 'cute' and femme looking face or so do my friends tell me, but I am not sure my face will be feminine enough to pass and I find myself constantly worrying about this.

So... How much do you emphasis do you put on your looks? How did transition influence you? Do you ever feel rewarded for the effort you give and time you spend improving yourself?

weight is my main concern at the moment

I'd have to say, if I didn't pass I probably would be a wreck. I need more hair removal and if I had the money to throw away, I'd get a little FFS as well.

But I do feel rewarded. I feel rewarded because I'm not stereotyped as a guy. I live to womens standards. Even though they're at times more difficult to live up to, they're easier on my emotional well-being to do.

Too much emphasis-although, I must say that the willowy gay boy I used to be spent about as much time as I do now.  For me, it's not even about gender as much as it is with what I personally prefer.  Makeup is really, really great-if it were up to me, everyone would wear it, male female, straight, gay-everyone.  Even still, not passing sort of nullifies the gender bit.  I can spend an hour on my makeup and people still stare at me.  I'm starting to lose hope, honestly-but then I put on some purple lipstick, and everything seems just a little bit brighter.

Before transition I paid no attention to how I looked because I did not care.

Now I pay attention because I am happy and living. I want to look good, but for me alone. As long as I look in the mirror and feel good about myself the job is done. It feels good to care for your body after neglecting it for so long. I now mirror on the outside how I have always felt on the inside. It is total freedom and a gift I am very thankful for.  :)

Before: shirt with coffee stain = clean enough. Hair... I had very poor justifications involving Rod Stewart.

Now: I've embraced the femme, coming at it from an angle of self care. I enjoy putting myself together cause it's different from what I do the rest of the day and it's nice to have that time set aside to focus on myself and my needs and my body. Like all the women on What Not to Wear who originally called out the need to be "comfortable" in the 360 mirror room before they learned the boost that style should be, spending the time to make myself look good is about me and my confidence and just feeling good about myself for the day I'm about to meet.

I definitely put more effort into how I present now. I don't wear much make up and once electro is finished it'll hopefully be even less. Even so, making sure my face is shaved,  my clothes are nice and my hair isn't crazy wild and that I smell yummy takes up to about twenty minutes more than it did for guy mode.

About three years ago, presenting as a guy I just didn't care...I wore the same pair of jeans every day for a week (sometimes two) between washes. Wouldn't shave for a week, shaved my head with lowest buzz cut so I wouldn't have to think about my hair, had a minimal wardrobe and three pairs of footwear. After four months of being female I now have three times the amount of clothes and shoes...and I want more! So for me wardrobe is probably the largest part of my presentation, I like simple but stylish and eye catching.

Quote from: Ms Grace on July 19, 2014, 06:18:12 PM
Wouldn't shave for a week...

So many of my old photos have so much stubble. Gagh! I so don't miss that hair!

I never worried about how I looked, just doing the minimum to get by.   I avoided mirrors all my life.

Since discovering that I am supposed to see a woman in the mirror, I find myself looking more often.   While I am still pretty incompetent at looking better, I do care now how I look and am spending more time and effort on appearance.  I am also pre- everything, and so mostly I am talking about when I am in guy mode.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on July 19, 2014, 01:20:15 PM
I'd have to say, if I didn't pass I probably would be a wreck. I need more hair removal and if I had the money to throw away, I'd get a little FFS as well.

But I do feel rewarded. I feel rewarded because I'm not stereotyped as a guy. I live to womens standards. Even though they're at times more difficult to live up to, they're easier on my emotional well-being to do.

I think everyone aims at passing, we all want to get there. I still find myself struggling with these worries, and sometimes I wish to be at least remotely pretty, but it is so not very easy and it's unrealistic to wish for something you can't predict.

My God, I really must be a premadonna. I have always cared as guy or girl what I looked like. Eyebrows unruly, no freaking way,(always shaped) hair just right which is usually a sort of good looking curly/wavy mess and skin care. In guy mode it is jeans and t shirts, in girly mode is where I worry more about the fashion side of things. But even in guy mode the hair has to look good, skin needs to be soft and legs underarms shave. Arm hair trimmed short to female averages, not like there it's thick anyway. Body hair just sux and I can't stand it at all.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 20, 2014, 11:50:08 AM
My God, I really must be a premadonna. I have always cared as guy or girl what I looked like. Eyebrows unruly, no freaking way,(always shaped) hair just right which is usually a sort of good looking curly/wavy mess and skin care. In guy mode it is jeans and t shirts, in girly mode is where I worry more about the fashion side of things. But even in guy mode the hair has to look good, skin needs to be soft and legs underarms shave. Arm hair trimmed short to female averages, not like there it's thick anyway. Body hair just sux and I can't stand it at all.

IKR! This is exactly the way I feel too. Like, ew, the body hair is just so gross. I get rid of it everywhere I can.

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 20, 2014, 11:55:33 AM
IKR! This is exactly the way I feel too. Like, ew, the body hair is just so gross. I get rid of it everywhere I can.

Not to mention the body hair makes you all stinky and greasy feeling. I hate it. But yeah I have always put emphasis on looks guy or girl. I can look like a slobby guy but still have to be clean, hair smelling good, and moisturized skin. Being a slobby guy even doesn't mean you have to stink and be all greasy and stuff. On more than one occasion I have been called a premadonna, guy or girl. But OK, I am a premadonna, I can live with it. ;)

Quote from: Jess42 on July 20, 2014, 12:03:21 PM
Not to mention the body hair makes you all stinky and greasy feeling. I hate it. But yeah I have always put emphasis on looks guy or girl. I can look like a slobby guy but still have to be clean, hair smelling good, and moisturized skin. Being a slobby guy even doesn't mean you have to stink and be all greasy and stuff. On more than one occasion I have been called a premadonna, guy or girl. But OK, I am a premadonna, I can live with it. ;)

Lol. I don't think you are, you have the right to look the best possible. :)

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 20, 2014, 12:07:48 PM
Lol. I don't think you are, you have the right to look the best possible. :)

Well, maybe just a little. ;) My God, I take more time getting ready than a ciswoman. Or that's what everyone says anyway and the ones that have called me premadonna have been ciswomen. ;D And that was a step mother that knew but never said anything. So.... I guess the shoe fits. ;) Too bad they ain't glass slippers though.

I think I was "metrosexual" even before the term was coined. I was a lot more grungy when I was younger though. I just try to be well maintained nowadays. After I go full time, I do plan to be 100% more glam though.  :-*

I like caring for myself a lot more now, I'm slowly becoming whole with my body so I cherish every day of it: bodyshaves, creams, nail/toe painting, scrubs

Clothing and assessoirizing is so much more enjoyable and while I do only minimal make-up haveing my facial ritual in the morning with scrubbing, shaving and getting moisturizer/concealer done makes me happy :)

As my wardrobe expands this will only get better I think ..and emptier on the wallet *sigh*

Quote from: Jess42 on July 20, 2014, 12:33:37 PM
Well, maybe just a little. ;) My God, I take more time getting ready than a ciswoman. Or that's what everyone says anyway and the ones that have called me premadonna have been ciswomen. ;D And that was a step mother that knew but never said anything. So.... I guess the shoe fits. ;) Too bad they ain't glass slippers though.

Lool, I see what you did there!

And Yin, that is awesome! It's amazing seeing people blooming by taking steps to be their genuine self :)

:-*