Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Rawb on July 21, 2014, 07:48:50 PM Return to Full Version
Title: There is Hope!
Post by: Rawb on July 21, 2014, 07:48:50 PM
Post by: Rawb on July 21, 2014, 07:48:50 PM
I met someone.
He's so very sweet. And he knows I'm trans, and knows I have two little kids. And he's cool with it. And he's a cis gay man. And he's amazing with my name and pronouns and he dosen't look at me as a girl AT ALL. He likes me just as much as I like him. HE THINKS IM GREAT. And he thinks that he's lucky to have me. LUCKY. TO HAve mE.
He thinks my clumsy dorkyness is endearing.
We have dorky in-jokes with each other.
It's just. It's so great.
I mean, I grew up under the influence of my grandmother who hated me and basically taught me that, I would have to change everything about myself to have any guy even consider liking me. And because of that, I ended up in a 6-year emotionally-abusive sometimes physically-abusive relationship, with a guy who manipulated my feelings, made me feel/look guilty all the time and so miserable. Because I felt that this was the best I could do. That I should just suck it up and be pleased that a guy was willing to be with me. Even if he was mean to me.
I'm still reeling.
Reeling because, this guy, this sweet fantastic wonderful guy,
and he likes me.
for me.
And sometimes, I could just cry (such as right now), just because this guy exists.
So, dear man friends, and woman friends,
Be pleased!
Because out there,
There are men and women, cis and trans and gay and whatever you like, and you will find them and they will love you, THEY WILL LOVE YOU, just for being you.
Now excuse me whilst I go and kiss my amazing boyfriend.
He's so very sweet. And he knows I'm trans, and knows I have two little kids. And he's cool with it. And he's a cis gay man. And he's amazing with my name and pronouns and he dosen't look at me as a girl AT ALL. He likes me just as much as I like him. HE THINKS IM GREAT. And he thinks that he's lucky to have me. LUCKY. TO HAve mE.
He thinks my clumsy dorkyness is endearing.
We have dorky in-jokes with each other.
It's just. It's so great.
I mean, I grew up under the influence of my grandmother who hated me and basically taught me that, I would have to change everything about myself to have any guy even consider liking me. And because of that, I ended up in a 6-year emotionally-abusive sometimes physically-abusive relationship, with a guy who manipulated my feelings, made me feel/look guilty all the time and so miserable. Because I felt that this was the best I could do. That I should just suck it up and be pleased that a guy was willing to be with me. Even if he was mean to me.
I'm still reeling.
Reeling because, this guy, this sweet fantastic wonderful guy,
and he likes me.
for me.
And sometimes, I could just cry (such as right now), just because this guy exists.
So, dear man friends, and woman friends,
Be pleased!
Because out there,
There are men and women, cis and trans and gay and whatever you like, and you will find them and they will love you, THEY WILL LOVE YOU, just for being you.
Now excuse me whilst I go and kiss my amazing boyfriend.
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Edge on July 21, 2014, 08:12:04 PM
Post by: Edge on July 21, 2014, 08:12:04 PM
:eusa_dance: Congrats. I'm in a similar boat.
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Skyler on July 21, 2014, 08:28:19 PM
Post by: Skyler on July 21, 2014, 08:28:19 PM
thats so awesome for you ^_^! 'm glad you found someone to love and cherish because that is truly special :)
now where is my sexy gay twink..
now where is my sexy gay twink..
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: pianoforte on July 21, 2014, 11:47:05 PM
Post by: pianoforte on July 21, 2014, 11:47:05 PM
I am so, so happy to hear this! (Both for you and for the "there is hope" message for me too!)
=)
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: devention on July 22, 2014, 06:09:48 AM
Post by: devention on July 22, 2014, 06:09:48 AM
I'm glad you're in a comfortable relationship, Rawb. It's great to hear stories like this when there's so much fear about acceptance in the community. It's really great you've got someone who sees You as You.
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Moimoinen on July 22, 2014, 06:43:28 AM
Post by: Moimoinen on July 22, 2014, 06:43:28 AM
Congratulations! :icon_rockon: I wish you luck for the future!
~Elliott
~Elliott
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: viktor_tokyo on July 22, 2014, 08:38:05 AM
Post by: viktor_tokyo on July 22, 2014, 08:38:05 AM
Awesome, congrats on finding such an awesome partner! ;D
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Bombadil on July 22, 2014, 09:00:49 AM
Post by: Bombadil on July 22, 2014, 09:00:49 AM
I'm so happy for you! That's great man! You deserve to have caring people in your life and you don't ever have to settle. Your grandmother told you lies.
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Moimoinen on July 22, 2014, 11:10:20 AM
Post by: Moimoinen on July 22, 2014, 11:10:20 AM
Oh, may I be nosey and ask how you both met? ;>
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Maleth on July 22, 2014, 11:27:38 AM
Post by: Maleth on July 22, 2014, 11:27:38 AM
Hooray!! I'm in the same kind of situation as you now. There really *is* hope out there. ^_^
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: conformer on July 22, 2014, 11:57:19 AM
Post by: conformer on July 22, 2014, 11:57:19 AM
That's beautiful :D . I hope to find someone like that one day. Good for you!!
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Ryan55 on July 22, 2014, 02:49:30 PM
Post by: Ryan55 on July 22, 2014, 02:49:30 PM
congrats man, good for you
Title: Re: There is Hope!
Post by: Rawb on July 22, 2014, 06:44:02 PM
Post by: Rawb on July 22, 2014, 06:44:02 PM
Quote from: Moimoinen on July 22, 2014, 11:10:20 AM
Oh, may I be nosey and ask how you both met? ;>
Online, actually.
I originally met him through a comic-art website that we both belong to, and thought he seemed neat, so I started talking to him. And we got along really well, and we became friends. I sort-of liked him then, thought it might be neat to date him. The ironic thing, was that at the time, I didn't know that I was trans, but I was still using a guy name and presenting as male. But then I sort went off-the-grid net-wise, because I had a brain tumor so surgery and stuff like that.
About 4 months after that, when I started to go back to doing net stuff, I created an animated series, and I'm not a professional animator, so I thought I ought to see about getting a storyboarder, so the series would look halfway professional (And also, it's a lot of work for one person). And I stuck an ad out on the comic art website, asking for volunteers, because I knew there were a bunch of pro animators on there. And lo and behold, he was the very first one who emailed me, and volunteered to work with me on it.
And we got to talking on Skype, which sort of rekindled my liking of him, and actually made me like him even more. And after a while, I came out to him as trans, and we talked about life stuff, and I found out that he lived really close to me (really close, in the sense that, he could have lived anywhere in the world, but he lives about a province away from me, which is close enough that we can visit each other without much hassle).
And I asked him out and he said yes.
I think that's the best way to do it- be their friend first, and then if you want to ask them out, come out as trans first. All the cards on the table, before jumping off the cliff :P