Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 07:37:16 PM Return to Full Version
Title: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 07:37:16 PM
Post by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 07:37:16 PM
So the other day I was reminded of the transgender housing network. If you don't know its a website designed to help give homeless/potentially homeless transgender people a place to crash for awhile. I was really excited when I saw this because the place I now live has a guest room that hardly gets used. I was hoping to get all my roommates approval so I could post that we have a room on this site. unfortunately one of my 8 roommates didn't feel comfortable at all with it. I really respect my roommates because they accepted me with the knowledge that I was going to start a transition before I even moved in.
this is important to me because I actually was looking at this site before I decide that I should move before told my family that I was trans, and I didn't see any post for having a room or couch in Michigan. i feel like i could have been homeless if i came out to my parents before i moved. though i might not have been( i still haven't told them :() but it would have deffinately been possible.
I haven't given up on the idea. i am going to bring it up at the next meeting. what would be the best way to go about it
this is important to me because I actually was looking at this site before I decide that I should move before told my family that I was trans, and I didn't see any post for having a room or couch in Michigan. i feel like i could have been homeless if i came out to my parents before i moved. though i might not have been( i still haven't told them :() but it would have deffinately been possible.
I haven't given up on the idea. i am going to bring it up at the next meeting. what would be the best way to go about it
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: Blue Rabbit on July 25, 2014, 08:02:42 PM
Post by: Blue Rabbit on July 25, 2014, 08:02:42 PM
Be real, you live in a diplomatic country right? If 1 guy out of 8 doesn't feel comfortable with it then unlucky for that guy the way the world works is that the 7 other people get what they want.
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 08:06:45 PM
Post by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 08:06:45 PM
yea but like for anything that relates to the house every one has to agree on it in my house. i live in a coop it is like one of the house rules. so I am gonna bring it up in a meeting then maybe all of us can convince her to change her mind
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: alabamagirl on July 25, 2014, 08:16:10 PM
Post by: alabamagirl on July 25, 2014, 08:16:10 PM
Quote from: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 08:06:45 PM
yea but like for anything that relates to the house every one has to agree on it in my house. i live in a coop it is like one of the house rules. so I am gonna bring it up in a meeting then maybe all of us can convince her to change her mind
I definitely agree with this approach. It's only going to cause problems for everyone involved if one person doesn't like something and the rest just force them to go along with it anyway. You all have to live together, so best not to piss anyone off.
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: Ms Grace on July 25, 2014, 08:39:42 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on July 25, 2014, 08:39:42 PM
Presumably she doesn't have a problem with trans people, since you're living there. Is it that she would rather the room stay vacant (8 people is a lot to share a house with, maybe she can't stand the thought of another) or does she have a problem with "scary" homeless people?
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: Blue Rabbit on July 25, 2014, 09:09:38 PM
Post by: Blue Rabbit on July 25, 2014, 09:09:38 PM
Quote from: Pikachu on July 25, 2014, 08:16:10 PM
I definitely agree with this approach. It's only going to cause problems for everyone involved if one person doesn't like something and the rest just force them to go along with it anyway. You all have to live together, so best not to piss anyone off.
I guess ya right just seems like a nobby thing for that girl to disagree to in that current situation.
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: alabamagirl on July 25, 2014, 09:23:01 PM
Post by: alabamagirl on July 25, 2014, 09:23:01 PM
Quote from: Blue Rabbit on July 25, 2014, 09:09:38 PM
I guess ya right just seems like a nobby thing for that girl to disagree to in that current situation.
Yeah, but hopefully she'll come around with a little gentle prodding.
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: Lonicera on July 25, 2014, 09:30:13 PM
Post by: Lonicera on July 25, 2014, 09:30:13 PM
If you discuss this collectively then I hope it goes smoothly and you can reach an outcome where you're all happy to offer such a potentially vital lifeline to the most vulnerable.
Having said that, I can appreciate hypothetical legitimate concerns about offering the room to unknown people. For instance, if the woman opposed relies on the house being a predictable safe-space due to something like anxiety issues then I'd understand that having variability or strangers could greatly compromise her well-being. As important as it is to prioritise the best outcome, such gripping emotions are hard to ignore. If something like that is the case then I hope her fears can be assuaged. If she's simply opposed to stereotypes of the homeless then I also hope that's easier to counteract.
Having said that, I can appreciate hypothetical legitimate concerns about offering the room to unknown people. For instance, if the woman opposed relies on the house being a predictable safe-space due to something like anxiety issues then I'd understand that having variability or strangers could greatly compromise her well-being. As important as it is to prioritise the best outcome, such gripping emotions are hard to ignore. If something like that is the case then I hope her fears can be assuaged. If she's simply opposed to stereotypes of the homeless then I also hope that's easier to counteract.
Title: Re: roomate saying no to putting a post on transgender housing network.
Post by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 10:09:33 PM
Post by: amber roskamp on July 25, 2014, 10:09:33 PM
well I can see were she is coming from. I think she doesn't want any random stranger coming to our house. I was talking to one of my other roommates and he said that we could do an interview. I almost like this idea but I'm not sure for a couple reasons. one Im pretty sure it would be really hard to say "no you cant stay with us" so I don't see the point. two from the person in needs perspective it would just not be easy I guess. but if she wont budge with out that maybe that is a compromise she is willing to accept.