Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'd say the best thing so far about transitioning is when I'm in public with my boyfriend. I can be close to him, touch him, hold his hand, give him a peck on the cheek, and there are no double takes from anyone. Just a straight guy with his straight girlfriend.

It's such a weird feeling. Normally, when I'm in guy mode with him in public, we just act like two quiet guys; and nobody would suspect a relationship since there's no affection shown between us. But if I'm a girl, there's no reason to hide it anymore.

and it feels good :)

I bet you feel great about being "straight normal". I'm the same way when I was dating. It felt great just being my man's girl friend. A normal woman enjoying being with a man.........

Great for you girl friend. Have fun.

meh it feels great to be seen as a lesbian  too   :P

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on July 26, 2014, 06:40:13 AM
meh it feels great to be seen as a lesbian  too   :P

yes but in this society people (including myself since I've been conditioned to) will do a double take to make sure if that's what they really saw (two girls/guys being affectionate)

While they might not think it's a bad thing for a homosexual couple to be near them, it's still uncommon enough to draw attention, no matter how brief that attention is. And drawing attention is the last thing I want to do while in public :P

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on July 26, 2014, 06:40:13 AM
meh it feels great to be seen as a lesbian  too   :P

Me too!

Lol even though I wouldn't mind being straight or bi. I do like. Being affectionate in public, and I know in the times I was out looking feminine with my ex wife and we cuddled on the bus stop bench or whatever we did get a lot of weird looks...but who I knows what those looks were about, I mean maybe they were looking at me trying to figure out what I am, maybe they didn't think white and black people should mix like that, maybe they were looking down on our gothic/punk clothes, etc.

Quote from: Hideyoshi on July 26, 2014, 06:59:50 AM
yes but in this society people (including myself since I've been conditioned to) will do a double take to make sure if that's what they really saw (two girls/guys being affectionate)

While they might not think it's a bad thing for a homosexual couple to be near them, it's still uncommon enough to draw attention, no matter how brief that attention is. And drawing attention is the last thing I want to do while in public :P

Good luck, just have fun with life. I agree, what purpose does it accomplish to cause undue attention from the "public". Thanks for posting & sharing.

To me that all sounds like what I call the sheer joy of being out in the real world as the real me. The joy of feeling Genuine.

This is something I think about all of the time, I hope I can be in that position one day.

Quote from: Hideyoshi on July 26, 2014, 06:59:50 AM
yes but in this society people (including myself since I've been conditioned to) will do a double take to make sure if that's what they really saw (two girls/guys being affectionate)

Meh...who the hell cares about what society thinks?

Screw'em.

I saw a lesbian couple when I was out grocery shopping last week and no one said a thing. Even when they were smooching a little while waiting their turn in the checkout line.

I don't live in some "enlightened" big city either. I live in small town redneckville.

Speaking for myself, I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend (some days). Other days I am comfortable with living alone.

I don't know that this is a straight or gay issue as public displays of affection are rare even among the heterosexual crowd. The phrase, "Get a room!" has been around for a loooooooong time after all.

Quote from: Misato on July 26, 2014, 11:47:29 AM
I don't know that this is a straight or gay issue as public displays of affection are rare even among the heterosexual crowd. The phrase, "Get a room!" has been around for a loooooooong time after all.

Meh...as long as people aren't physically harming others or being a verbally abusive dick. I don't care what they do.

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 26, 2014, 11:46:01 AM
Meh...who the hell cares about what society thinks?

Screw'em.

I saw a lesbian couple when I was out grocery shopping last week and no one said a thing. Even when they were smooching a little while waiting their turn in the checkout line.

I don't live in some "enlightened" big city either. I live in small town redneckville.

Speaking for myself, I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend (some days). Other days I am comfortable with living alone.

Yeah girl, my sentiments exactly. If there are still people in the world that hasn't seen gay or lesbian couples I wonder what freaking universe they are living in. Definately not the same as mine. Hell I think now everyone has someone that is gay or lesbian in their family, even mine and my family is about as redneck as redneck can get. And I think everyone knows someone that is gay or lesbian. I'm still apprehensive about telling anyone in my family that I am trans yet but I kind of have a sneaky feeling it wouldn't surprise them too much. They do slip up sometimes and call me she and her and all kinds of other things liek they are trying to give me crap. They give me a hard time about my hair length and how much more manly it would be if I had a beard to go with it, poking fun. ??? If they can't figure it out, I ain't gonna tell. :-X I have a second cousin that is lesbian of the butch type and I get some really strange looks, winks, smiles and just an understanding in her facial expressions. Eventually there will be a slip up I'm sure on my part.

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on July 26, 2014, 06:40:13 AM
meh it feels great to be seen as a lesbian  too   :P

LOL. I don't know why but that was so random. ;D

Lesbians FTW!

Quote from: riversong on July 26, 2014, 05:40:36 PM
This is something I'm looking forward to. I'm attracted to guys but I've never really been open about it. It will be nice to date a guy one day without having to feel so self conscious :)

It's so great, I'm sure you'll get to that point.

I feel a bit conflicted. I'm really happy for you and that you feel so comfortable now being able to express your love in public, it's just unfortunate that same sex couples still don't have that opportunity. If I ever do end up dating it will probably be with a woman so I'm now in the social pariah corner.

Quote from: riversong on July 26, 2014, 05:58:40 PM
That's why I have so much respect for transwomen who transition and still date women. The only thing braver than becoming a transgender woman is becoming a transgender woman and a lesbian :)

  In Toronto, at least, I find it's the gays/lesbians that don't get paid any attention any more.  Unless you're a very passable straight transwoman you're much more likely to get negative attention from being openly partnered and affectionate with a cis male.  All the homophobia is shifting towards this as sort of the 'last taboo'.

I loathe being bisexual...just irritates me.

Quote from: Natalie on July 26, 2014, 07:34:27 PM
I loathe being bisexual...just irritates me.

^^ wHy?

Quote from: Evelyn K on July 26, 2014, 08:26:13 PM
^^ wHy?

If I could turn it off I would.

Quote from: Natalie on July 26, 2014, 08:55:53 PM
If I could turn it off I would.

Why??  ???

^^ W0t riversong sed.

???

Quote from: riversong on July 26, 2014, 05:58:40 PM
That's why I have so much respect for transwomen who transition and still date women. The only thing braver than becoming a transgender woman is becoming a transgender woman and a lesbian :)

???

I don't understand the respect and bravery. I love my partner who is a woman so, we're in a lesbian relationship. Nothing feels brave or respectable about it. We just love each other, same as any other loving couple.

I still don't see the heterosexual privilege here either. They kiss in public and they could get eye rolls at them.  Hold hands without rings on fingers and they could get a lecture about how they're going to burn in Hell, from someone who is so inclined.

Public displays of affection seem to me to be fraught with risk, no matter who is involved.

Quote from: Misato on July 26, 2014, 09:14:38 PM
???

I don't understand the respect and bravery. I love my partner who is a woman so, we're in a lesbian relationship. Nothing feels brave or respectable about it. We just love each other, same as any other loving couple.

I still don't see the heterosexual privilege here either. They kiss in public and they could get eye rolls at them.  Hold hands without rings on fingers and they could get a lecture about how they're going to burn in Hell, from someone who is so inclined.

Public displays of affection seem to me to be fraught with risk, no matter who is involved.

Whoops. I didn't realize that would be such a controversial statement :/

Personally I think it has a lot to do with where you live. When I was in West Palm Beach where my ex and I lived, we could hold hands, hug, kiss whatever and almost no one cared, come to Cleveland to visit family and suddenly just us holding hands got responses ranging from "OMG they are gay, that's so hot" to "ok that's just gross and they shouldn't be holding hands" obviously we didn't care. I can only imagine though how odd it's going to be getting seen in public in a straight relationship, or even a lesbian relationship since I'm bi and really don't have a preference.

Quote from: Misato on July 26, 2014, 09:14:38 PM
???

I still don't see the heterosexual privilege here either. They kiss in public and they could get eye rolls at them.  Hold hands without rings on fingers and they could get a lecture about how they're going to burn in Hell, from someone who is so inclined.

Honestly I don't think there is one anymore and in some cases it's actually looked down on. I have personally witnessed a couple getting called homophobic because they are straight, I have seen people get harassed and called homophobic simply because they they are straight and have zero interest in the same gender. So as to an advantage...really the only advantage I see is the ability to reproduce unless you are like me and hate kids with a passion.

And before anyone points it out, yes I know there are and will be radicals in every group and what I quoted was a more radical and extremist group of people and their actions.

I love being Bi. So many options. Men not working out. Go back to women. Is dating someone as emotional as you causing havoc, go back to men. Or men who are not emotional. I tend to like, apparently, the alpha male metrosexual socially liberal but a little bit conservative type when it comes to men. Wait, that limits my options. JK LOL

I was in a lesbian relationship, I've always been gender non-conforming and femme looking and acting, and with my ex, her friends would always refer to us as dykes and she'd tell people I was her girlfriend or sometimes "woman with a birth defect" and it wasn't me who grewout of it, or card what anyone thought, it was her. Eventually, it wore her down and that as they say was that. There's no way she isn't at the very least Bi, if not straight up gay. Possibly, FTM.She used to tell me she wanted a penis.IDK.

But either way, I've had no problems dating a man, in fact I'm starting to question my queerness. I consider myself a queer woman.

Quote from: Natalie on July 26, 2014, 07:34:27 PM
I loathe being bisexual...just irritates me.

Yeah I gotta ask why too. Especially why limit yourself to the possible love of your life and possible soulmate. But each to their own though and in no way am I judging or criticising or anything else and just curious. I just figure the more chances regardless of sexual orientation and gender the greater chances of finding that one true love of my life.

I'm bisexual too so... Just a little curious.

While I haven't socially transitioned yet so can't fully appreciate the change, I have been in relationships with men and women so I'd hope I can at least somewhat appreciate the different social attitudes experienced when out together. I agree it can be quite a relief to benefit from heteronormativity if you're used to fearing consequences since there's the underlying knowledge that you're less likely to be subject to harassment, assault, or other negatives. I'm happy for those that can use it as a safe haven.

Having said that, I personally like anything I can safely do to chip away at the dominance of heterosexuality and really do not like the presumptions, of gay/lesbian and straight people, that consistently erase the existence of bisexuality irrespective of the type of relationship I'm in. The fact there are differences in treatment at all and sexuality is so readily presumed by observers is repugnant to me.

Quote from: Misato on July 26, 2014, 09:14:38 PMPublic displays of affection seem to me to be fraught with risk, no matter who is involved.

I can agree that there are risks but I think the important factors are the quantity of them, the likelihood of them occurring, and the nature of the harm when they do occur. How often are partners seen as straight subjected to negative consequences simply for being perceived as that? Are the consequences for displays of affection large, like getting attacked or screamed at by groups, or are they quite small, like getting a 'tut'? If they hold hands as they walk then how many of the people around them will alter their behaviour in subtle ways that emotionally drain or discriminate against the partners?

I think it's actually quite harmful to deny the general existence of heterosexual privileges in this area since we can't breakdown harmful heteronormativity if our understanding of it doesn't face facts.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 26, 2014, 10:41:25 PM
I was in a lesbian relationship, I've always been gender non-conforming and femme looking and acting, and with my ex, her friends would always refer to us as dykes and she'd tell people I was her girlfriend or sometimes "woman with a birth defect" and it wasn't me who grewout of it, or card what anyone thought, it was her. Eventually, it wore her down and that as they say was that. There's no way she isn't at the very least Bi, if not straight up gay. Possibly, FTM.She used to tell me she wanted a penis.IDK.

That's an awesome line to use. I love it. :D

Quote from: Hideyoshi on July 26, 2014, 06:27:23 AM
I'd say the best thing so far about transitioning is when I'm in public with my boyfriend. I can be close to him, touch him, hold his hand, give him a peck on the cheek, and there are no double takes from anyone. Just a straight guy with his straight girlfriend.

It's such a weird feeling. Normally, when I'm in guy mode with him in public, we just act like two quiet guys; and nobody would suspect a relationship since there's no affection shown between us. But if I'm a girl, there's no reason to hide it anymore.

and it feels good :)

Very much true for me too.  My fiance and I were always so "stealth" about our relationship but recently, he put his arm around me in a local dive known for its rock shows, and nobody batted an eye!  It felt wonderful to be the keyboardist's girl just doing the local music scene.

Quote from: Lonicera on July 26, 2014, 11:03:28 PMIf they hold hands as they walk then how many of the people around them will alter their behaviour in subtle ways that emotionally drain or discriminate against the partners?

I think it's actually quite harmful to deny the general existence of heterosexual privileges in this area since we can't breakdown harmful heteronormativity if our understanding of it doesn't face facts.

this

Quote from: Rose City Rose on July 27, 2014, 07:18:00 AM
Very much true for me too.  My fiance and I were always so "stealth" about our relationship but recently, he put his arm around me in a local dive known for its rock shows, and nobody batted an eye!  It felt wonderful to be the keyboardist's girl just doing the local music scene.

(: happy for you

Quote from: Lonicera on July 26, 2014, 11:03:28 PMI can agree that there are risks but I think the important factors are the quantity of them, the likelihood of them occurring, and the nature of the harm when they do occur. How often are partners seen as straight subjected to negative consequences simply for being perceived as that? Are the consequences for displays of affection large, like getting attacked or screamed at by groups, or are they quite small, like getting a 'tut'? If they hold hands as they walk then how many of the people around them will alter their behaviour in subtle ways that emotionally drain or discriminate against the partners?

When I joined this thread it was about advantages of being in a straight relationship. My take was, heterosexual couples have their own consequences of public displays of affection and public displays of affection are frowned upon in general. We can have no idea if someone is altering their behavior when confronted with two people in love. Straight people suffering negative consequences for their love? That happens as demonstrated by events like friends and family gossiping over a marriage or about how "well" a couple will raise or are raising a baby.

As for groups... Well there is Russia. But the problem there and elsewhere is the state effectively sanctioning violence against a minority. The state saying being gay is not ok or denying gender marker changes without surgery or allowing faith based discrimination, missing those are real perks for being straight.

We can't control what other people think. Can't know either. What's been discussed here is largely just a few people's experience with how comfortable they are with being seen as gay or straight by others. Their fears and their comfort.

Why? Because I find both men and women attractive and like different personality traits, physical characteristics and mentalities on each, but not when they are mixed together so I am forever stuck in a void created by my own sexuality.For example, I find it attractive for men to have big muscles but find it repugnant on women. A mans foot is disgusting and I absolute love pretty girl toes. If I am in a relationship with a man I cannot have or do any of the things I love about being with girls. What further complicates this is that I am a strict adherent to monogamy. Trust me, I've tried everything from doing threesomes, sharing, ect, but my moral code prohibits such activities and I find it down right gross! My solution, NO MORE DATING. Been single for many, many years now.

Quote from: Natalie on July 27, 2014, 07:59:19 PM
Why? Because I find both men and women attractive and like different personality traits, physical characteristics and mentalities on each, but not when they are mixed together so I am forever stuck in a void created by my own sexuality.For example, I find it attractive for men to have big muscles but find it repugnant on women. A mans foot is disgusting and I absolute love pretty girl toes. If I am in a relationship with a man I cannot have or do any of the things I love about being with girls. What further complicates this is that I am a strict adherent to monogamy. Trust me, I've tried everything from doing threesomes, sharing, ect, but my moral code prohibits such activities and I find it down right gross! My solution, NO MORE DATING. Been single for many, many years now.

I'm the same. There are certain things about women and certain things about men. If I am comitted though I am with that person only though so I am monogamous too. I love dating though. I relly don't even care for a menage' trois.

I don't really care for feet male or female. No telling what they stepped in before and I definately ain't putting my lips or mouth anywhere near a foot.

I was just curious 'cause I know how I feel and I am bi and trans cis or gay or other bi male or female, compatable personalities is what my main concern it. Thanx for replying though.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 27, 2014, 09:23:45 PM
I'm the same. There are certain things about women and certain things about men. If I am comitted though I am with that person only though so I am monogamous too. I love dating though. I relly don't even care for a menage' trois.

I don't really care for feet male or female. No telling what they stepped in before and I definately ain't putting my lips or mouth anywhere near a foot.

I was just curious 'cause I know how I feel and I am bi and trans cis or gay or other bi male or female, compatable personalities is what my main concern it. Thanx for replying though.

ditto

Yeah Stephanie I have dated some pople that others wouldn't even call reasonably good looking but thier personalities made them more desireable than any other characteristic. I would rather settle down with a 400 pound guy that treats me like a queen instead of someone that looks like Brad Pitt and treats me like crap. Or worst yet violent toward me.

On this topic, had a D&M with a really close friend over the weekend who said "she hates being gay, but lives with it, and she doesn't know one single person who would choose gay over straight".
I find that so sad

Quote from: Natalie on July 27, 2014, 07:59:19 PM
Why? Because I find both men and women attractive and like different personality traits, physical characteristics and mentalities on each, but not when they are mixed together so I am forever stuck in a void created by my own sexuality.For example, I find it attractive for men to have big muscles but find it repugnant on women. A mans foot is disgusting and I absolute love pretty girl toes. If I am in a relationship with a man I cannot have or do any of the things I love about being with girls. What further complicates this is that I am a strict adherent to monogamy. Trust me, I've tried everything from doing threesomes, sharing, ect, but my moral code prohibits such activities and I find it down right gross! My solution, NO MORE DATING. Been single for many, many years now.

Whoah. That's pretty hard core ;D

But I'm single for many years now, not by choice. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2F5yrzf9.jpg&hash=aa723fb4585dc0cc05b6bb5292159d6a0c7cdfa7)

I wouldnt dare to show affection in public, more so with a woman than a man (That would look more straight, I admit)

It sad but I dont want to risk being beaten up as I live in a multicultural city. Heard/read about too many accidents already

Quote from: Hideyoshi on July 26, 2014, 06:27:23 AM
I'd say the best thing so far about transitioning is when I'm in public with my boyfriend. I can be close to him, touch him, hold his hand, give him a peck on the cheek, and there are no double takes from anyone. Just a straight guy with his straight girlfriend.

It's such a weird feeling. Normally, when I'm in guy mode with him in public, we just act like two quiet guys; and nobody would suspect a relationship since there's no affection shown between us. But if I'm a girl, there's no reason to hide it anymore.

and it feels good :)

I'm looking forward to experiencing that! I know when I'm out with my boyfriend (when I had one) before I transitioned there would be all type of strange looks from others seeing us together in public. Now I get it from people trying to clock my gender. I just don't blend in yet. Hopefully I will get there.

Quote from: Evelyn K on July 28, 2014, 03:46:09 AM
Whoah. That's pretty hard core ;D

But I'm single for many years now, not by choice. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2F5yrzf9.jpg&hash=aa723fb4585dc0cc05b6bb5292159d6a0c7cdfa7)

I am by personal choice with no intention of ever changing that.

Who knows Evelyn, you never can be 100% sure ;)

Eh. It's okay.

I would like to love and feel loved  ::)

Sometimes people just over-think what their preferences are, turn on and turn off, but the truth is when love knocks the door, you will open an exception to some of the requirements you had established before.  :angel:

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 28, 2014, 02:39:24 PM
Eh. It's okay.

I would like to love and feel loved  ::)

Sometimes people just over-think what their preferences are, turn on and turn off, but the truth is when love knocks the door, you will open an exception to some of the requirements you had established before.  :angel:

That's pretty credulous to speculate that. I don't and never did make exceptions irrespective of who they were or how great they seemed. I never deviate from my standards and that in itself sort of refutes this erroneous claim. Don't apply your own anecdotal experiences on everyone else. Just because you would make exceptions does not mean other people would.

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 28, 2014, 02:39:24 PM
Eh. It's okay.

I would like to love and feel loved  ::)

Sometimes people just over-think what their preferences are, turn on and turn off, but the truth is when love knocks the door, you will open an exception to some of the requirements you had established before.  :angel:

That my dear is why I never limit myself to gender, orientation, race or anything else. Loving someone and feeling loved is one of the best feelings that you can have. Whether it is a couple of months or a lifetime. Letting your guard down, letting youself be vulnerable to that special person, which leads to mutual intamacy and secrets between one another that you have without judgemnt from or of that person. It most definately is one of the sweetest emotions that we will ever feel. :)

Love can come from any direction and usually the direction in which you are not looking toward. I think Cindy said "Blindsided by love" and more often than not that is true. Love may have been under you nose the whole time and all you gotta do is take a leap of faith if you are attracted to someone. The results may be surprising. ;)

Quote from: Jess42 on July 28, 2014, 03:35:59 PM
That my dear is why I never limit myself to gender, orientation, race or anything else. Loving someone and feeling loved is one of the best feelings that you can have. Whether it is a couple of months or a lifetime. Letting your guard down, letting youself be vulnerable to that special person, which leads to mutual intamacy and secrets between one another that you have without judgemnt from or of that person. It most definately is one of the sweetest emotions that we will ever feel. :)

Love can come from any direction and usually the direction in which you are not looking toward. I think Cindy said "Blindsided by love" and more often than not that is true. Love may have been under you nose the whole time and all you gotta do is take a leap of faith if you are attracted to someone. The results may be surprising. ;)

Uhh so totally this. ^

And Natalie, I wasn't trying to be rude or implying my beliefs are superior to yours. It's okay to have standards. But again, love is a feeling and therefore it is irrational in most ways. For example I may picture myself with a blondie blue-eyed surfist who has a really hot body, but who says I can't hit it off with a geek, nerdy, muscly and short guy and fall in love with him subsequently. If you're too strict with the people you meet, you'll possibly desmiss someone that could be the absolute love of your life. Just sayin'

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 28, 2014, 03:53:33 PM
Uhh so totally this. ^

And Natalie, I wasn't trying to be rude or implying my beliefs are superior to yours. It's okay to have standards. But again, love is a feeling and therefore it is irrational in most ways. For example I may picture myself with a blondie blue-eyed surfist who has a really hot body, but who says I can't hit it off with a geek, nerdy, muscly and short guy and fall in love with him subsequently. If you're too strict with the people you meet, you'll possibly desmiss someone that could be the absolute love of your life. Just sayin'

Yeah standards are really good to have. Mine aren't really that high though. Long hair, tats and an attitude bigger than life and extreme self confidnce. I can live without the first two but the latter two pretty much describes every man out there that hits on ya' :D

It does not matter, YOU make a "choice" on whether or not you want to date said person or make an exception to your standards. People like me "never" waiver on our standards not now not ever. Furthermore, I am not sure how you missed that I have no desire to date anymore and haven't dated in many, many years (since 2006). I don't want to nor do I ever anticipate ever doing it again and if I did "like" someone I will remove them from my life just like I've done before. You faltering on your position is your decision. That's great that you feel romantic love is all wonderful, however, others (me included) simply do not feel the same way. To me its a big joke and I want nothing to do with that.

Quote from: Natalie on July 28, 2014, 06:43:24 PM
It does not matter, YOU make a "choice" on whether or not you want to date said person or make an exception to your standards. People like me "never" waiver on our standards not now not ever. Furthermore, I am not sure how you missed that I have no desire to date anymore and haven't dated in many, many years (since 2006). I don't want to nor do I ever anticipate ever doing it again and if I did "like" someone I will remove them from my life just like I've done before. You faltering on your position is your decision. That's great that you feel romantic love is all wonderful, however, others (me included) simply do not feel the same way. To me its a big joke and I want nothing to do with that.

My comment was never directed at you specifically. And I never said romantic love has only positive aspects, it does bring sorrow as well. Also, I don't even understand why you say you have standards and then not even being open to dating, you're actually contradicting yourself.

But anyways, I never said it is not okay to have standards. Just that if you stick to them very strictly, you'll likely dismiss people (based on a first impression, not necessarily their character) and possible meaningful connections. That's all I meant, and it wasn't in any way directed at you specifically.

best wishes.

Quote from: Natalie on July 28, 2014, 06:43:24 PM
if I did "like" someone I will remove them from my life just like I've done before.

Well I sincerely hope you can be happy in life.

I would be miserable without a partner.

Quote from: Hideyoshi on July 26, 2014, 06:27:23 AM
I'd say the best thing so far about transitioning is when I'm in public with my boyfriend. I can be close to him, touch him, hold his hand, give him a peck on the cheek, and there are no double takes from anyone. Just a straight guy with his straight girlfriend.

It's such a weird feeling. Normally, when I'm in guy mode with him in public, we just act like two quiet guys; and nobody would suspect a relationship since there's no affection shown between us. But if I'm a girl, there's no reason to hide it anymore.

and it feels good :)

Honey I could hug you so tight! I feel exactly the same way, before I started my transition we got funny looks if we so much as walked too close together, since I started presenting full time female noone gives us a second glance, I can hold his hand, hug him, pecks on the cheek, even little pecks on the lips, its a brave new world we live in!

I know it was not directed at me entirely.

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 28, 2014, 03:53:33 PM
If you're too strict with the people you meet, you'll possibly desmiss someone that could be the absolute love of your life. Just sayin'

That's your subjective opinion on the matter, but I don't think about that because I know the exact type of person I want and would date. Anything less is not worth my time or effort so I am not missing anything that I'd care about. Based on your statements in this thread it appears that you are worried more about probabilities, I'm not.

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 29, 2014, 03:53:14 AM
...Also, I don't even understand why you say you have standards and then not even being open to dating, you're actually contradicting yourself.

I have standards and "did" date so I am unsure why you are not making a correlation here. Also, how is having standards and not dating contradictory? Since I don't date I can't have standards about dating? That doesn't make any sense. So, using that rationale, apparently I am contradictory because I have standards against drug use even though I don't use drugs or I am contradictory because I had standards about dating before I started dating as a teenager. I guess I am also contradictory because I have standards on what type of car I want before I buy it. Can you see the absurdity here? I mean, it's down right funny stuff!

Furthermore, you do think love is some wonderful thing and you never stated anything about how you feel it can induce sorrow as well until after the fact:

Quote from: Auroramarianna on July 29, 2014, 03:53:14 AM...And I never said romantic love has only positive aspects, it does bring sorrow as well.

Like every other human being, I cannot magically read minds. I see love as a meaningless emotion that is nothing more than increased levels of Oxytocin due to often and prolonged physical interactions with someone romantically. It's something I avoid at all cost.

Anywayyy...I'd love to be straight, give me that potion please ^^ :D

Quote from: Natalie on July 29, 2014, 01:16:06 PM
I know it was not directed at me entirely.

That's your subjective opinion on the matter, but I don't think about that because I know the exact type of person I want and would date. Anything less is not worth my time or effort so I am not missing anything that I'd care about. Based on your statements in this thread it appears that you are worried more about probabilities, I'm not.

I have standards and "did" date so I am unsure why you are not making a correlation here. Also, how is having standards and not dating contradictory? Since I don't date I can't have standards about dating? That doesn't make any sense. So, using that rationale, apparently I am contradictory because I have standards against drug use even though I don't use drugs or I am contradictory because I had standards about dating before I started dating as a teenager. I guess I am also contradictory because I have standards on what type of car I want before I buy it. Can you see the absurdity here? I mean, it's down right funny stuff!

Furthermore, you do think love is some wonderful thing and you never stated anything about how you feel it can induce sorrow as well until after the fact:
Like every other human being, I cannot magically read minds. I see love as a meaningless emotion that is nothing more than increased levels of Oxytocin due to often and prolonged physical interactions with someone romantically. It's something I avoid at all cost.

But you saying I consider love to be wonderful and to have no negative aspects is also your subjective opinion, since I never said so.

Also how can you claim to know exactly what you want? It is also pretty credulous to speculate that, even if you had an exact image on your mind and someone happens to match it, doesn't mean you will have any chemistry with them. Again I am not saying standards aren't okay but again if you are too strict that means you will desmiss people that you could connect.

I am not the type to write a list of what I want in a partner (blue eyes, college degree, nice, charming, that kind of thing, you get the idea). I wouldn't want to date a drug addict either but limiting yourself too much will do no good in any kind of relationship, but that is my opinion, I never said it had to be yours.

Quote from: Natalie on July 28, 2014, 02:30:46 PM
I am by personal choice with no intention of ever changing that.

Natalie I've read a few of your posts and you have an interesting take on relationships. I have two completely innocent questions, please don't take it personally. 1. Would you consider yourself asexual? 2. Would you consider yourself a misanthropist?

There's nothing wrong with being asexual or even frigid for that matter.