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Something really weird and really frustrating, actually, is that testosterone has made it pretty impossible for me to cry. I've heard this complaint from a bunch of trans men before, too- it just gets really really difficult, even if you want to. It's really convenient sometimes when I'm in public or something, because crying makes it harder for me to pass as male, but when I'm alone or with trusted people and something really really moves me, I feel like I've got like, emotional constipation (sorry for that visual, but it's the only thing I can think of to describe it as, haha). I've got pretty bad clinical depression, and a lot of the time, crying was a really good and necessary release, and now that I can't seem to it's getting hard not to fall back into harmful behaviors and vices for that release- self harm, etc. Sometimes it makes me really anxious. Anyone else have that experience? Been able to fix it or deal with it at all?

its a man thing, it comes with the territory.... and there would be more changes....

same here. i don't know if i have become a happy person so i don't need to cry or i have become even too depressed to cry

as a guy I  couldnt cry at all even when depressed, n0w its the easiest thing...

s0rry thats  h0w h0rm0nes w0rk  :-\

SX0877, I feel that so much. I feel a lot happier overall, but it almost makes it worse when I do want to just be sad and I have a hard time letting it out. It gets seriously frustrating and makes me feel really depressed and messed up.

I have a hard time crying too.  There have been instances where I've been able to cry though they are few and far between, but I don't cry at as many things or as long as I did before starting testosterone.  Now when I cry it's a few tears and that's about it, but before I would just keep crying and crying.  I find the times I cry more than a few tears are usually due to some emotional scene on a TV show or in a movie, something that I didn't even want to be crying about but there I am crying about it, because it effected me in some oddly emotional way.  More often then not when something IRL is effecting me and makes me want to cry and I feel like I am going to cry, it just never comes.  Like when you feel like you have to sneeze but it never happens.  What I usually find myself doing during times like those is venting on the internet on one of my blogs.  It does help to just be able to get out what is bothering me.

Yeah for me it is not only the crying, but the whole thing--feeling unable to experience strong emotions any more. I'm not sure if it is an actually effect of T, and thinking it is more about getting older and life stage transition.

I get seriously dammed up in the same way. I didn't used to cry unless something catastrophic happened, but after I came out of the closet and started therapy and began to encounter huge amounts of transition-related stress in my life, I discovered crying as a way of relieving tension. Then I started T, and things began to change. I would be desperate to "get it all out," but I would not be able to.

Now I can still cry when something catastrophic happens, but who wants horrible things to happen just to instigate tears! The only other time I catch a break is in my therapist's office. I tend to let my guard down when I'm in there, and I talk about a lot of stuff that bothers me. So I sort of leak around the edges. But it's not the same as really letting go.

Rather than feeling less, though, I feel more than ever before. It's just that I have trouble expressing some emotions such as sadness or grief. Yet other emotions, such as anger and frustration, I have a hard time holding back. I'm not sure how much of this phenomenon is from the T and how much is from defrosting after years of being mostly dead inside.

One thing I've been able to do helps. I pretend that I'm talking to my therapist. Sometimes that doesn't get me much--it's like being IN his office and not emoting much--but sometimes, not often, I can use it to kickstart myself.

I've noticed this change as well.  I still feel the same "welling up" but it's not as intense. I feel like I am more in control of it before it gets the the point where you actually have the tears coming. I was not much of a crier before T besides death in the family and such. But now it's as if I am more steely with out trying to be so ( Meaning I am not ashamed of crying or anything) it just doesn't come. It's like a tiny little beaver built dams in my tear ducts.

I'm terrible with emotions. It's like I don't feel things anymore, and on the odd occasions that I do (which usually involves positive feelings, as they're better at getting me to loosen up and actually feel things), I don't know how to handle them and lose my ->-bleeped-<-. But I don't think it's just hormonal. Socialization has probably made a bigger impact.

I thought I couldn't cry either but turns out I had to just feel as low as I possibly could for it to come out.

Same here.  I thought it was a myth, but when it happened to me I was pretty convinced it has something to do with the hormones. 

I can still cry - but not at the drop of a hat or even during funerals.  It's with random things like certain songs or movie scenes.  But it's rare.

I'm sorry guys but balding and dry eyes come with the package  *comfy hug*

;)

I can only cry if I just had my heart ripped out and spit on, or if something horrible happens. Even then it's a hit or miss if I'll cry or not. Before I used to cry all the time, just how it happens I guess. I understand the wanting to and can't thing, it pisses me off sometimes too.

I've been waiting for the no crying thing.  I don't like crying, and I cry way too easily and it's embarrassing.  Like, at the drop of a hat.  Like if somebody mentions one of my favorite sports teams.

I'm only about 6 months in, so I'm still crossing my fingers.  But I don't know, all the men in my family cry really easily as well, so I'm not sure it's going to happen for me.

Interesting. It takes a lot to get me to cry yet I can feel the emotions. I wonder if when I start HRT crying will be easier.

Update: just found out my Dad's friend's cat died.  Mind you, I met this cat one time, and I'm allergic to cats.  But here come the waterworks anyway.  T, when will you make me stop crying??!!

Quote from: rawshark on July 28, 2014, 06:22:40 PM
Update: just found out my Dad's friend's cat died.  Mind you, I met this cat one time, and I'm allergic to cats.  But here come the waterworks anyway.  T, when will you make me stop crying??!!

Poor lil cat
*hands tissue*

Give it some time, it will probably improve ;)

Since going on hormones I've had a hard time crying about my own problems, but I cry more easily than I used to in response to specific cues. Dramatic stories (in books, music, video, anything) bring tears at peaks or particularly sad parts even when I feel skeptical or don't like the characters involved. If I feel like I'm getting too bottled up I can sometimes use those patterns and my responses as a release. It isn't always satisfying.

For me it's been a good trade-off overall. I used to cry when I got frustrated or angry, and that was a huge problem. I love having the reverse - working to keep in touch with complex or strong emotions rather than fighting to minimize their effects.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 29, 2014, 02:44:36 AM
Next step of You guyse probably will be the ability to watch extremely violence on TV/movies like bloodshed (Game of Thrones, anyone?) and not having to turn Your face away...

I've never had a problem with this sort of thing, with one exception (spoiler alert on a thirty-year-old movie): the prod scene in the remake of Cat People. I saw the film again a little while ago and was still disturbed.

One thing seems to have subtly changed: I seem to be more interested in violence in the movies and more apt to find it funny. This could be a "natural" evolution on my part, but I wonder whether the T has anything to do with it.

Quote from: Arch on July 29, 2014, 12:42:27 PM
One thing seems to have subtly changed: I seem to be more interested in violence in the movies and more apt to find it funny. This could be a "natural" evolution on my part, but I wonder whether the T has anything to do with it.

Oh my god, I feel this so much. I actually noticed this in full force with this horror movie reviewer whose online show I watch occasionally- he's one of the types to laugh at particularly silly bad horror movie violence, even in a serious setting. This always struck me as kind of tasteless pre-t, but now I totally get it, and I end up laughing myself. It's the weirdest thing. Same with poorly written horror stories with bad twists, stuff like that. I'll just end up laughing at it.

I've always loved bad movies, including bad horror movies, if they are bad enough to be good. But my reaction is a little more enthusiastic now. Odd.

Certain movies can get me in tears, actually. Father-son scenes do it to me. My therapist says that if I need to cry, I can watch one of those scenes. But he doesn't get it. The relevant scenes are nearly always at the very end of the movie (father and son reconcile after much conflict, that sort of thing), and I would have to watch the entire movie up to that point. If I'm not in the mood to see that movie again all the way through, his advice is pointless.

Still, it might be another way for someone to tap into the crying mechanism. That is, other types of scenes or movies might give you a way in.

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on July 28, 2014, 04:16:29 AM
I can still cry - but not at the drop of a hat or even during funerals.  It's with random things like certain songs or movie scenes.  But it's rare.

This, so damn much.

But otherwise I tend to wonder if I know how to cry anymore. Not that I complain, I didn't like it.

I'm jealous of you guys for still being able to cry at some things! My problem is I'm natural really emotional and sentimental when it comes to music and happy moments with friends and I just really like appreciating moments when life makes me feel really good, or really bad. The problem is I just get so blocked up emotionally, and things that make me emotional because they make me happy suddenly just make me upset and anxious- for example, I was seeing one of my most favorite bands play the other day, and I had a really nice moment where they were playing a really emotional and passionate song and I was with a bunch of really nice people and it was just one of those moments that really felt like "home" to me and I almost wanted to cry I was so happy. Instead, I couldn't cry, and started getting anxious and upset because I felt like the tears were there, but wouldn't come out.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 29, 2014, 02:44:36 AM
Next step of You guyse probably will be the ability to watch extremely violence on TV/movies like bloodshed (Game of Thrones, anyone?) and not having to turn Your face away... Those scenes never bother me pre-HRT, but now... can't watch those anymore and dont really want to.

Meh, that's a stereotype.  There are guys out there that get squeamish about that sort of stuff, and gals out there who love that type of stuff.  It's really just dependent on the person, and not their gender or sex. 

Quote from: solexander on July 29, 2014, 01:13:12 PM
I'm jealous of you guys for still being able to cry at some things! My problem is I'm natural really emotional and sentimental when it comes to music and happy moments with friends and I just really like appreciating moments when life makes me feel really good, or really bad. The problem is I just get so blocked up emotionally, and things that make me emotional because they make me happy suddenly just make me upset and anxious- for example, I was seeing one of my most favorite bands play the other day, and I had a really nice moment where they were playing a really emotional and passionate song and I was with a bunch of really nice people and it was just one of those moments that really felt like "home" to me and I almost wanted to cry I was so happy. Instead, I couldn't cry, and started getting anxious and upset because I felt like the tears were there, but wouldn't come out.

I think that will pass once you learn how your body is now going to physically handle emotions.  It's natural to get upset and anxious because something that used to happen easily doesn't happen so easily, or possibly at all anymore. 

I always feel so confused when this topic comes up and everyone says it's affected by hormones... I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm still running on T. I know others like that, too. I can't decide if it's just because hormones affect people differently, if it means I and the others I referred to don't have as high of testosterone levels or something (which doesn't seem likely, looking at all the very masculine effects of T on my body), or if the ability to cry is more a mental thing. Like, subconsciously, we feel, "I'm a guy now, so I'm not supposed to cry," or, "I'm a girl now, so it's okay to cry."

I dunno... It just baffles me why T hasn't hindered my ability to cry.

And I also sort of worry that if I'm this emotional without estrogen, will I be too emotional to even function anymore with it? :P

Quote from: Pikachu on July 29, 2014, 02:10:26 PM
I always feel so confused when this topic comes up and everyone says it's affected by hormones... I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm still running on T. I know others like that, too. I can't decide if it's just because hormones affect people differently, if it means I and the others I referred to don't have as high of testosterone levels or something (which doesn't seem likely, looking at all the very masculine effects of T on my body), or if the ability to cry is more a mental thing. Like, subconsciously, we feel, "I'm a guy now, so I'm not supposed to cry," or, "I'm a girl now, so it's okay to cry."

I dunno... It just baffles me why T hasn't hindered my ability to cry.

And I also sort of worry that if I'm this emotional without estrogen, will I be too emotional to even function anymore with it? :P

I don't see it as the emotions being affected by hormones, just the ways in which we express them, and even then different people are affected differently.  I'm still full of emotions, I just express some of them differently, like my lacking the ability to cry much.  I used to cry all the time, especially when being confronted by an authority figure, it made having discussions at work pretty much impossible.  Now I can have a discussion at work of a serious matter, and not be bawling my eyes out the whole time. 

Quote from: Pikachu on July 29, 2014, 02:10:26 PM
I always feel so confused when this topic comes up and everyone says it's affected by hormones... I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm still running on T.

People vary, obviously, and I'm sure that some of the effect is due to upbringing. But T actually tends to dampen the crying reflex.

One of my friends is older (65ish), and he says that he cries more easily than he used to. We can't figure out whether it's due to decreasing T levels, his not caring so much what other people think, or a combination. :laugh:

Quote from: Arch on July 29, 2014, 05:28:20 PM
People vary, obviously, and I'm sure that some of the effect is due to upbringing. But T actually tends to dampen the crying reflex.

One of my friends is older (65ish), and he says that he cries more easily than he used to. We can't figure out whether it's due to decreasing T levels, his not caring so much what other people think, or a combination. :laugh:

Well, I've definitely become way more outwardly emotional since coming out as trans. I no longer feel like I have to be this stoic, strong guy. Since letting go of that, I've noticed a slow but steady shift back to expressing my emotions freely like I was able to when I was a child. I also feel them stronger. I guess that's due to not immediately repressing anything that might be seen as weakness, like I used to.

I think there's something re: giving yourself "permission" so to speak. The first place I cried post T was at a trans camp, where other males on T cried. But still it isn't nearly as easy as pre-T. I also know that trans women talk about crying for every reason, like I used to cry at Telecom commercials and that sort of thing.

--Jay

Pre everything I choke up. I generally don't cry, but its been known to happen. I'm hoping HRT will change that if it can change. Choking up is extremely uncomfortable emotionally. It feels better to cry for real.

3 months on HRT, cried only once so far which was a great experience.

I might just not be the person for it, my 2 manly brothers cried easier than me before I started E -.-

So maybe its not entirely related to T/E

Quote from: solexander on July 27, 2014, 02:17:38 PM
Something really weird and really frustrating, actually, is that testosterone has made it pretty impossible for me to cry. I've heard this complaint from a bunch of trans men before, too- it just gets really really difficult, even if you want to. It's really convenient sometimes when I'm in public or something, because crying makes it harder for me to pass as male, but when I'm alone or with trusted people and something really really moves me, I feel like I've got like, emotional constipation (sorry for that visual, but it's the only thing I can think of to describe it as, haha). I've got pretty bad clinical depression, and a lot of the time, crying was a really good and necessary release, and now that I can't seem to it's getting hard not to fall back into harmful behaviors and vices for that release- self harm, etc. Sometimes it makes me really anxious. Anyone else have that experience? Been able to fix it or deal with it at all?

Thhhissss, I noticed it became near physically impossible to cry after about 2 to 3 weeks on T. I could be sad and whatever it's just nothing ever came out and it bugs me so much!

If eyes watering from physical irritants/allergies doesn't count, nope, not since starting T. I was looking forward to this effect. Never understood people referring to it as a release/relief since crying always made me feel worse.

I wonder how much of it is inherently T/E, and how much is "the wrong hormone" making people feel crummier.

I agree with Blink, I'm looking forward to not crying so easily. I always hate crying and I cry way too easily now, especially after going on birth control. It's one of the only side effects of my pills so I think it is a T/E thing.

Quote from: blink on July 30, 2014, 08:54:53 AMNever understood people referring to it as a release/relief since crying always made me feel worse.

I had the same experience for a long, long time. People didn't believe me. Jerks. Just because it's not YOUR experience...

Crying doesn't feel like a release to me, either, usually. I'm not going to say it never has, because I can't remember what each individual situation was like, but crying for me is more just... A physical representation of my sadness. The feeling remains the same. The act of crying doesn't make me feel better nor worse.

But I tend to experience all my emotions this way. Whatever I'm feeling, I can count on it lasting for quite a while, and there's really nothing I can do to "release" it, or make it subside faster.

This thread is interesting to me. I had never given much thought to something like crying making people feel better or worse.

i'm pre-everything and i don't cry very easily. i -do- cry over my own personal mental anguish and ->-bleeped-<- like that, but that's about it. i don't cry at sad movies or emotional news or anything else really, just my own problems. :p but crying does make me feel better and it's scientifically proven to do so for MOST people cuz it's supposed to remove toxins, lower manganese levels, etc. just in case anyone was curious. but obviously though thats true for most, it's not for everyone.

which does worry me a little about starting t and not being able to get that release. but then again i probably would be happier on t and not have as many mental issues to cry over in the first place, so. hmmm

Quote from: CursedFireDean on July 30, 2014, 11:37:47 AM
I agree with Blink, I'm looking forward to not crying so easily. I always hate crying and I cry way too easily now, especially after going on birth control. It's one of the only side effects of my pills so I think it is a T/E thing.

I agree with that. It didn't seem to suit me to be able to cry so easily, it wasn't I was "able" to-- it seemed like it was something that happened to me for which I had little control.

--Jay

wow. I couldn't tell if I was just maturing or if it was the T! Suppose now I know! I used to cry at everything, it was so embarrassing!! And now, even when I want to cry, I just get nothing! The only time I do cry is when me and my bf have a fight and I get really emotional.

And that's another thing, I have become really emotional the past few years (been on T for 4) where as anger and frustration have become somewhat uncontrollable and that flares up my anxiety. But I don't know if that's a stress thing?

As for the crying - I think there's something I have to put to the test. Black Beauty. I couldn't watch that before without bursting into tears at least 30mins into the film! if I go away and watch it all the way through without shedding a tear... I think that means i'm a man. Or possibly just really dead inside >_>

Is that the version of Black Beauty with the awesome score? I think David Thewlis is in it. I've always wanted to see that version, but I don't dare. From what you say, I've made a good decision to stay away from it. Horse movies are triggering for me.

The one with that guy in it from emmerdale. Think it was filmed in the 90's

Hi, could someone explain in a clear way how T or E affects crying? What does it actually have to do with emotions?

I wished going on T also made me stop crying but this definitely isn't the case with me. I cry as easily as I can laugh :embarrassed: 

Quote from: makipu on July 31, 2014, 05:07:11 PM
Hi, could someone explain in a clear way how T or E affects crying? What does it actually have to do with emotions?

I wished going on T also made me stop crying but this definitely isn't the case with me. I cry as easily as I can laugh :embarrassed:

From what I've seen just from observing the trans* community, hormones' effects are very individualized. Some people say taking them affected emotional impact and expression, some people say it didn't. Everyone's emotional wiring is different. I suspect both genetics and environment play a role in how easily you're able to laugh or cry, and experience all the other myriad of emotional responses. Your hormone levels are just one factor among many.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 29, 2014, 02:44:36 AM
Next step of You guyse probably will be the ability to watch extremely violence on TV/movies like bloodshed (Game of Thrones, anyone?) and not having to turn Your face away... Those scenes never bother me pre-HRT, but now... can't watch those anymore and dont really want to.

My ability to deal with conflict or violent imagery has been far more affected by experiences and time than by hormones. When I was in my early teens to early twenties, I was very much into horror literature and films, and I collected medical books and documents that had gory pictures or odd human configurations. I even sought out forensic scientists to see their work and if I wanted to do that. As I got older and eventually hit some breaking point in my personal exposure to violence and death, I got less able to be around it. Now I sometimes have to fast-forward the cartoon violence in Family Guy, and I can't stomach FPS games or really any visual entertainment that has much blood or yelling. Testosterone did make it easier for me to deal with violence irl, and I react with much less fear or short-circuiting than I used to. That may just be the secondary effect of the increase in confidence that transition gave me.

As far as how hormones affect crying, I do think they can play a real part, but like Pikachu says it is super relative and you have to keep context in mind.

Hmm, even when my testosterone levels where at a normal level for a guy I just couldnt bear watching horror and a lot violence. Some of it is hormones and some -like felix said- experiences and time

Not sure if it's a combination of T and time I've been on T or antidepressants but I seem to have a more difficult time crying sometimes, especially when I want to cry. When I don't want to cry it's the same. I guess I'll just have to live with the fact I may be one of those more easily wet guys sigh.

I'm on T and still able to cry like before.

Quote from: Ephemeral on August 02, 2014, 08:29:10 AM
Not sure if it's a combination of T and time I've been on T or antidepressants but I seem to have a more difficult time crying sometimes, especially when I want to cry. When I don't want to cry it's the same. I guess I'll just have to live with the fact I may be one of those more easily wet guys sigh.

Even before T I've had some problems with not being able to cry on antidepressants. Trying different drugs can help in choosing a livable set of side effects, but some of the time I've gone off of them completely was after getting fed up with feeling like I was straightjacketed into a kind of mediocre complacency.

Quote from: Felix on August 02, 2014, 05:28:40 PM
Even before T I've had some problems with not being able to cry on antidepressants. Trying different drugs can help in choosing a livable set of side effects, but some of the time I've gone off of them completely was after getting fed up with feeling like I was straightjacketed into a kind of mediocre complacency.

I guess I don't mind for most of the part. I've had that problem sometimes in the past too. The worse side effect atm is that I can't orgasm pretty much... At least my doctor returns tomorrow so we can discuss this because it's driving me insane. I wish I at least would also have had dropped libido so I wouldn't feel as bad about it.

I'm such a geek. This is from psychology today

QuoteBiologically, there may be a reason women cry more than men: Testosterone may inhibit crying, while the hormone prolactin (seen in higher levels in women) may promote it. But a desire to cry is not all nature. A study of people in 35 countries found that the difference between how often men and women cry may be more pronounced in countries that allow greater freedom of expression and social resources, such as Chile, Sweden and the United States. Ghana, Nigeria and Nepal, on the other hand, reported only slightly higher tear rates for women (Cross-Cultural Research, 2011). Lead study author Dianne Van Hemert, PhD, a senior researcher at the Netherlands Organization for Applied Scientific Research, says that people in wealthier countries may cry more because they live in a culture that permits it, while people in poorer countries — who presumably might have more to cry about — don't do so because of cultural norms that frown on emotional expression.

source - http://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/02/cry.aspx

I haven't cried since starting testosterone. I want to sometimes.

I read a journal article, a study whose conclusion was that T does inhibit crying, but I can't find the dang paper now. And I don't recall the methodology, either. (I know, I'm pretty useless.)

I had the same issues.
I hardly ever cry in publish but alone I felt it to be a good way to take off stress and not being able to cry was pretty irritating.
I could scream or kick something but living in an apartment with sensetive neibours it not a good idea.

I can cry if sometjomg veru sad happent, like I did cried when one of my friends died, so it not imposible just abit more difficult. I think for me it not all about crying but letting you become emotional and getting out with your feeling which is important somehow.
crying is not the only way to do that, Listen to sad music or writting your fellings down, talking to a friends are exemples of other ways to get out with your emotions and also make it more easy to cry.
I hope this helped