Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Strange that the only thing going right is being a transsexual and having a family survive the transition.

I just need prayer and support now.  My job situation is terrible but I am still employed, at the moment, albeit threatened and being threatened by a coworker exascerbating my anxiety and depression issues, I am broke after being ripped off for thousands in a real estate rental scam, killing a year's savings for tax, and I am utterly exhausted and emotionally raped.

Then I read the rural post from the newbie and I feel selfish for feeling like this.

Bottom line, I just need to be supported.   The good news- no mental breakdown, just crippling depression, would be suicidal if it was not for the love of a wife and this forum and it just not being an option.

I have poured my life out for others, and I am spent.   it is the dark before the dawn, but in this state, I want to get in my car and run and run and run.  Disappear.  But for the love of that woman, I will not do it.

They say you don't get more than you can handle.  Im sorry, I don't buy it.  I have had two kids crack before from a sex predator stalking them and wind up in the wards, and had to run and hide them a thousand miles away because of that guy.

This is ridiculous.  I don't want to get into the poor me's, but how much can someone take, really.  And I can't tell the family I am in trouble at work either....

Trapped. 

I am trans, I am survivor, and I just need a break, and the ->-bleeped-<-s to shut the f up instead of adding to the problem.

- nails out... one finger ready to be raised in a specific direction to a specific person...

I am so sorry to post this mess.  I am so screwed without you folks

My God I hate this pain.  If I wasn't trans, it would be more than I could bear.

Now there's a twist for you.

Hang in there don't trigger its just my turn to hurt.  And don't anyone dare say man up or I'll eat you for breakfast.

I need a day off and to be a Bond chick and watch diamonds are forever and get jealous of Jill St John for having the body I want.

Everyone hang in there.

I'm so sorry to hear about your hard times. I'm glad that you have a strong love with your wife though. Cherish that, and give it up for nothing. And we all need support. It's what helps us survive. I really hope you are in fact finding the support here you need. If you ever wanna chat, you are welcome to send me a message at any time :)

Bad times at work can drive one pretty much off the deep end.  I have been there, done that, lost the T shirt...  You have said this is the dark before the dawn.  Hang in there, the sun will rise again!

All I can really offer is HUGS!!!

Keep on keeping on!  And feel free to vent what you need to - it is infinitely better here than if it were to seep out in the work environment (especially in front of the one you might have a special gesture for).


Erin

Your own determination will see you through, just as it has seen us through so many times.
Our determination will be with you, as it always is.
It's your core, the one that you let us we know that we have too...
Read my PM, know that this is true, always has, always will.
Ativan

sorry

Satin,

Sorry to hear about all the troubles, but please feel free to vent here. Went through work troubles last year. Lost the job due to depression from GD and work stress. Found a new job, less money, a block away from an LGBT health center offering transition services and support group.

You've got a loving supportive wife, be thankful for that.

Sometimes weird $hit happens in life, but I've always found if you keep the faith that things will turn out, they will.

It is strange though too when being Trans is the best thing going for you, The thing that keeps me going is knowing somehow, someday, I will transition, that hope kept me from being suicidal - ending it would end the hope - not an option.

Offering a GREAT BIG HUG! Feel free to PM too.

Hugs,

First i would do something with the family to just enjoy life even if it for a day.

We all need a break now and then.

Second check with the HRC or Lambda Legal  to see if either can help put the jerks in there place.

No one in the states should put up with harassment in ones work. If the HR department will not fix the issue then go to others for help.

See a movie, take a walk, do a picnic.

We all know how it gets. glad you vented.

Izzy

Lots of support coming here and I am getting embarrassed now.  Sorry for the rant, and for dumping my frustrations on all of you.

But it did help a lot.

Blessings.

One day at a time...
Even if it feels like Groundhog Day.

Change one thing that you can for the better...

And this will pass,  it always does.

Lean on Him and his peace,
Luna

Quote from: Satinjoy on July 29, 2014, 03:50:24 PM
Lots of support coming here and I am getting embarrassed now.  Sorry for the rant, and for dumping my frustrations on all of you.

But it did help a lot.

Blessings.

No need to be embarrassed or sorry.

We all have been there and that is why we are here.

Someday you will be the one giving the open hand of support.

It is all good.

Izzy

There is so much help here

I have to confess, I get into this thing about being supertrans, great costume ;)  able to leap tall heels, hair whipping in the wind, wait a sec that's Ativan..

Really, as soon as the ego gets into the posts and we forget that we all need to just reach out and be the hurt children we are at heart trying to cope with something really, really, really BIG, the better off we are going to be in general.  The better off I am to just remember that hey, I am just this transwoman with little boobs and a big heart and big mouth, and its ok to cry.  Being supergirl works to force through sometimes, but big girls do cry, and it can be helpful indeed.

Meanwhile if one single person can see into the window of my life and get hope, I have done what my mission in this world is to do.   To reach you and encourage you to live trans and make it wonderful.

It has been a hard day, life on lifes terms, and e cyp side effects have not helped that, the meds raise tranquilized me big time and will until I get used to the new serum levels again.  But its ok, and I am here, and I know you are too and that's all that matters right now.

And you wonder why I posted that "What does Susans mean to you" thread.  Its because of days like this, and theres newbies in here that need our help and I know you can reach out to them, they need you.  I am not good at that part... too unstable at times, protecting my self...

Anyway, blessings and love to all, go after the newbies and love them up

Nails out, Hair waiting, heels ready and not giving up. 

Thanks for your support.

All I can say, dear Satinjoy, is that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.
<3 Verne

As are you.  You're journey down the yellow brick road is just beginning, ditch the witch, the land of OZ is beautiful indeed and all you have to do is accept the gift.  I have not read your post yet but I know the subject...

Be well now. 

My stuff is nothing, these are luxery problems, just a little bump in the road, nothing serious. 

SJ
I'm not going to tell you to man-up as that would be so inappropriate especially here and under these circumstances, but let me encourage you to set your mind on the concept that just because you are transgendered and a Christian on top of that, you won't be a doormat for everyone to wipe their feet on. I've noted so many times people who have remarked that you have to turn the other cheek, be continually forgiving of the evil stuff that they foist off on you, and not to judge others. They like to turn scriptures and societal norms and binary constraints to use against you, well that's just a load of crap and you don't have to take it! The shepherd who became a king was loved by God because he stood in the gap and slaughtered tens of thousands who were trying to kill his people. That person sexually harassing your kids deserves to be face down in a ditch! Don't ever lie down and take any BS from anyone, it's not a Christian requirement!

You wonderful, loving, incredible people just won't let me disappear and hide, will you

I try not to introduce toxicity into threads

The pm's came through.  Ativian was spot on with h'er post on my behalf

Bottom line is I am still in a very serious crisis, came within an inch from another mental breakdown this afternoon, and am basically fighting for my life.  Not physically, but everything I love is in trouble right now, and I am trying to hold it together, and just barely am doing so.

The spiritual attacks have been hideous, not from the forum, but from outside circumstances. 

Shantel the stalker is in the hands of the Living God.  No one here on earth could be more frightening to be in the grip of, and my prayer is that he be forgiven as I was, and we have forgiven this guy.  And the second one that did actually get to one of my kids was struck with a stroke and is in a nursing home, probably in diapers.  He is also in the hands of the living God, but I have not yet forgiven.  She has recovered well though and when I came out trans, she revealed her dark secret, a child of 7 groped by a man of 60.  I need to forgive but I spit on this man. 

The forum and my obsession with it has been interfering with my ability to work and also with family time.  I am trying to control this, and alcoholics addict fast and I am addicted to you all and this forum.  It reached a disasterous point with my wife now and I am working through it.

My job due to the increases in E cyp and subsequent memory issues is also in grave jeopardy, but the serums are near journeys end and this may pass now.  It usually does once they stabilize.  But the damage is bad, and I came an inch from firing on Saturday, when by divine intervention I had lunch with our owner and have a second chance.  But I may have lost core competency, and with a 250.00 per month meds and shrink budget, if I lose the job, I am beyond screwed.

So, the marriage is threatened, I have been cleaned out by a real estate scam, the house is wrecked by that as----le, my job is threatened, and my support here on the forum is threatened too.  I am down to me and God, and the spiritual attacks are not helping either.  It is uncanny, unreal and very scary.

I think I pissed off the one with the horns by reaching out to you and trying to restore anyone that would listen to Christ - the guy at the campfire that ate fish, loved screw ups and cast outs, and turned the world upside down, and who forgived me from all kinds of things.  I keep that on the Christianity forum, but it is my core to the max, and it shows in everything I do here.

So I am hunkered down, I have an escape plan, and I am hoping not to lose everything including my mind. 

Toxic thread now, exactly why I wanted to disappear and not bother all of you dear people.  But you deserve to know the truth.

So I guess I am still here, but access is limited.  I am scared to death, I sacrificed everything and I mean everything for my wife and kids, and my very core is threatened and under grave attack.

I have never failed, with my God, to survive the unsurvivable.  To accept the unacceptable, to overcome against all the odds.  I need to do it again, but it looks hopeless for the job, and that will cascade into total disaster.

I am so tired.  You have to carry me now. 

And I need Lady Jessica to stay on my threads.  She is part of my critical support in here.  The maternal love she has is limitless and I need it.

Now you know why I don't look at the marrage threads, the heavy stuff, the newbie stuff.  I am far too fragile to handle them.

Stay with me please, I can't do this anymore, I need all of you now.

I could just throw up.  How can anyone go through all this, and yet, are we not all survivors and courageous people of trans?

Blessings.  Don't let my triggers or toxicity take out a newbie I'd just die.

Love to all, disappearing now until ... ?  but I may be a silent cell phone watcher anyway.

The PM's still show up in my email.

Ativan you are so on the money....don't you trigger either on me and get worried, don't anyone trigger.