Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, I have my first ever Gender Therapist appointment and I'm not nervous or scared about it. However, I have no idea what to expect. What was your first appointment like?

I was terrified to walk in and reveal the biggest secret and burden I had ever had. I was lucky though and got a really good team to work with. They calmed me down and gave off a vibe that I was still going to be a good valuable person after talking with them. I would not be looked down at or joked about. My first session was basically collecting medical information and being given a test to see baseline emotional and social feelings. It was the first time I ever told anyone on the planet I was a female. It went far better than I could have possibly imagined.  :)

When I scheduled the appointment, the on call therapist asked me a lot of questions to evaluate my mental health. My therapist reviewed these question with me again, and asked a lot more in details, past experience, current concerns etc and did evaluations for depression and anxiety. In the end he said he saw me as a strong and determined young man and he would help me.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on July 31, 2014, 08:25:13 PM
I was terrified to walk in and reveal the biggest secret and burden I had ever had. I was lucky though and got a really good team to work with. They calmed me down and gave off a vibe that I was still going to be a good valuable person after talking with them. I would not be looked down at or joked about. My first session was basically collecting medical information and being given a test to see baseline emotional and social feelings. It was the first time I ever told anyone on the planet I was a female. It went far better than I could have possibly imagined.  :)

I know how you feel. Only difference with my therapist office is that she basically has a specialty in TransRelated Topics so she already knew why I was there to see her. That's kinda why I'm not nervous or scared. But yea, she is basically the first person I will talk to about being trans. Thank you for sharing! :)

I have to admit that I never met with a gender therapist, I was in therapy for PTSD at VA and discussed it with my therapist briefly convincing her about what I needed to do, she signed on and the rest is history. When I told her I wanted her to sign off on a letter for an orchiectomy, she being a lesbian thought it was a fine idea.  :icon_peace:

Quote from: SWNID on July 31, 2014, 08:31:01 PM
When I scheduled the appointment, the on call therapist asked me a lot of questions to evaluate my mental health. My therapist reviewed these question with me again, and asked a lot more in details, past experience, current concerns etc and did evaluations for depression and anxiety. In the end he said he saw me as a strong and determined young man and he would help me.

That's great! I hope that my therapist can also help me. She was very nice over the phone when she talked about setting the appointment.

My first therapy appointment was basically like a "get to know you" appointment.  She wanted to know things like my age, goals, the support system I have, the type of surgeries I want, my childhood, my family, etc.

My appointment wasn't with a Gender Therapist, but with a general psychiatrist who didn't specialise in trans* issues.  She was, however, familiar with Gender Dysphoria - so it wasn't like I had to educate her about it.

Basically, just chatted - she knew why I was there and asked me a few things about my background, social life and family life.  She didn't need convincing because I was already on T, and she basically just said to ring her up whenever I wanted my surgery letter.  Pretty awesome woman.

Most first sessions with therapists (I've had four, and this has been my experience with all of them) go a little something like "here is a questionnaire I want you to fill out. It's sort of a gauge of your current mental health and what you want out of our time together". They usually ask you to come early that first appointment so the questions don't cut too much into your therapy time. They'll go over the sheet with you and make sure they understand your answers, ask you to elaborate on some, and make sure what you want is something they feel they can help you attain.
With gender therapy specifically, your therapist will probably ask you how long you've had the dysphoria for, what kind of dysphoria you've experienced, what made you question your gender, and any major events in your life related to your gender feelings. They will also ask questions about what kind off support system you have, if and where you are out, whether your family is aware, and what your transition goals are. They may also ask about your sexual history. I'm not quite sure what the purpose of that one is other than perhaps antiquated notions of "trans people are actually just homosexuals" or perhaps to gauge whether past abuse may factor into the matter.
It will be emotionally draining, and it is scary, but making the appointment and showing up is usually the hard part. Once you're there, you'll probably start talking. I'm fairly reticent IRL, and I babbled for about a half hour straight about my life when I went to my first gender therapy appointment.
It's mostly about whether you want to be there or not and how comfortable you are with the therapist. If you don't click, find someone else. The first try isn't always the right person for you.

My therapist sent me an extensive questionnaire that I filled out prior to ever stepping foot in her office so she already knew a lot about me on the first appointment. She referred to me by my female name, and her first question to me was why I was there.

I gulped, picked a spot on the wall to stare at, and began to dump my guts.......

"So, about 10 years ago I started having feelings like I wanted to have boobs...."

And off we went  :P

I was already seeing a therapist who had a lot of experience with the gay and lesbian community, and I just asked her if we could switch our focus from trauma issues to gender issues so I could pursue hormone therapy. She was enthusiastic and supportive at first, but it wasn't easy to talk openly about my gender stuff so that was hard for me at first. Eventually it wasn't hard for me to talk about, but she became increasingly uncomfortable with my transition. If you have access to an actual gender therapist, I imagine it shouldn't be so complicated. You just have that initial hurdle of being okay with talking about your problems.

Mine was a first and only since I opted out of therapy, but it was still fairly in-depth. The therapist was just a really kind guy, and he put me at ease right away. Still, all my carefully rehearsed answers fell apart and I stumbled over my words in an attempt to explain the complicated relationship between my brain and body. It was probably for the best, because even though I thought I had totally screwed up the interview, he concluded with "Well, I'll make my recommendation and you'll probably get to start by Monday." He asked the basics, like when I first realized there was a discrepancy between my sex and gender, how I identify, how I experience dyphoria, what pronouns I prefer, etc.. Then a lot of questions about my support system, romantic relationship, my work situation and a bit about my mental health issues. I got the impression that the main thing is to first establish that gender dysphoria is present and then assess the logistics of transitioning in your current situation.

Good luck!

My first one was a disaster with a well respected therapist.  I simply had no rapport with him, and felt so poorly after that it took me another 5 years before I went to another one.

The second one was great - we really got along and I was able to get to a stage where I had sorted myself out...

Quote from: Felix on August 01, 2014, 12:45:16 AM
I was already seeing a therapist who had a lot of experience with the gay and lesbian community, and I just asked her if we could switch our focus from trauma issues to gender issues so I could pursue hormone therapy. She was enthusiastic and supportive at first, but it wasn't easy to talk openly about my gender stuff so that was hard for me at first. Eventually it wasn't hard for me to talk about, but she became increasingly uncomfortable with my transition. If you have access to an actual gender therapist, I imagine it shouldn't be so complicated. You just have that initial hurdle of being okay with talking about your problems.

I was lucky that the gender therapist that I found has a focus on Trans related issues. I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Very nice actually. Did the whole do I want to commit suicide ,self harming behaviors, etc. What name do I go by, my preferred gender pronouns, etc. etc. After that we talked. Was not any huge deal where I told someone for the first time, as I had already been talking about it for months.

--Jay

I have scheduled many appointments with therapist that specialize in trans sexual issues but ended up canceling or not showing due to being nervous or not having transportation
However I am going to go next Friday to see a therapist who is trans gender and I am not going to cancel as I have in the past as I have tried to commit suicide and it's time for me to get my life started no matter what other people say think want 

I was lucky to know my therapist (well I knew who he was anyway) as he's a trans man and in the community. That did decrease my anxiety a bit, since he wasn't a total stranger.

--Jay

Kassie, I'm really glad you're committed to going to get help. Showing up is a decent chunk of the battle already won. Good luck!

I didn't give my real name which helped a lot, and they were ok with it. I found a lot of freedom in doing that.

Quote from: Kassie on August 01, 2014, 05:02:19 PM
I have scheduled many appointments with therapist that specialize in trans sexual issues but ended up canceling or not showing due to being nervous or not having transportation
However I am going to go next Friday to see a therapist who is trans gender and I am not going to cancel as I have in the past as I have tried to commit suicide and it's time for me to get my life started no matter what other people say think want

I'm glad you found someone you can feel comfortable with enough to show up. Nobody else really knows what you want or need, and anyone who doubts your motives or course of action should be in favor of your seeing a professional about it.

I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I've often wished I had a transgender therapist. That sounds awesome. I feel like it would drastically cut down on the time it takes to get to a useful rapport. I'm still at an agency that primarily serves lgbt youth, but the therapist I had for a couple years moved on to another job, and I get assigned to interns until they finish their programs. Sessions spent on explaining trans concepts and jargon aren't particularly useful to me.

I agree Felix, having a therapist who is trans saved a lot of potential problems including having to worry about what the therapist may think of being trans and so on. Still there are awesome cis therapists out there who are allies to our community and take a very positive stand.

--Jay

It was weird, in a good way. I had been away from therapists who shamed me for a while so it was odd going into this and the person was so chill and laid back.

It was mostly getting to know one another and get some of the basics out of the way. I did ask a few questions about info up here she may know about but that was it really. I'm going back in a few days, hoping that I can dig into some information on informed consent among other issues.

Hmm let me shake my memory banks way back.

Walked in the office he introduced his self and ask me to sit on the chair.

Then asked why i was here and spent the next 50 minutes running my mouth.

So yes was nice to have someone that would listen lol.

I've never seen a gender therapist, just regular general therapists, social workers, a psychologist (for a short time, dropped him because I didn't like him) and a psych nurse. My psych nurse is the one who wrote my letter. Never saw an endocrinologist, either. My HRT is handled by a general physician.

I was very nervous, but since the therapist was so warm, open, and friendly, I was able to let my guard down and tell her that I was a woman trapped in a man's body, and she asked me to tell her about my life, and share my feelings of why I felt the way that I did.

My first appointment was really nerve-wracking for me. But when it came down to it, it was mostly a bunch of background information being collected. My therapist wanted to know what my childhood was like, what my job is, my health history, etc.

We didn't really get deep down into "my feelings," if that makes sense.

Good luck!