Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My name's Kade and I'm an addict.

I've been clean for almost four months now. I have a sponsor, attend meetings regularly, and am working a program.

All of that being said, I'm a little worried because I'm starting T soon. I was using IV so I'm a little worried that the whole having to inject T thing will freak me out. Does anyone else have experience with this? I do plan on getting my partner to help me with injections but I hate the idea of being completely dependent on someone else for this...if she's not around or if we happen to break up, I do want to be able to do my own shots. Any suggestions?

Kade, welcome to Susan's, and congratulations on getting clean and staying that way. That's such a tough thing to do, and I really admire folks who can do it. And it's great that you're thinking ahead about whether injecting T will be a problem for you.

Do you have insurance, or will you be paying for the T yourself? If you have insurance, the obvious way around this would be to use another form of T -- a gel or cream, or the long-term implant, which is now available in the US. Insurance companies sometimes won't cover these unless they're deemed medically necessary, but in your case I'd think this would be an easy sell, if your doctor writes to the company and explains the problem.

If you're paying yourself, those might not be an option for you, because they're expensive compared to injectable T. In that case, you might want to work with your therapist, if you have one, on ways of dealing with the injections. I totally get wanting to do your own shots, without being dependent on someone else.

Thanks for the response, Ty.

I will be paying out of pocket for all costs, so unfortunately I will probably be stuck with the injectable T :/

I do have a therapist I plan on talking about these issues with, and I've been talking to my sponsor as well. My sponsor seems to think I should NEVER inject myself at all, but like I said...I don't really like that option.

I also feel like the point in recovery isn't that we should cower from all of our triggers forever, but rather learn to deal with them in effective ways, without having to use.

QuoteI also feel like the point in recovery isn't that we should cower from all of our triggers forever, but rather learn to deal with them in effective ways, without having to use.

That's a gutsy stance, and as far as I'm concerned, it's a damn sensible one.

Would it be better if you had someone supportive (your gf?) with you when you inject? It seems to me that if you were mostly solitary when you were using, that might be a way of setting it up as a different situation. And there are probably other things you could do to make the environment different, so there are as few triggers as possible.

That's a good idea  :)
It helps that I never used where I currently live, so there aren't any using memories there.
I will definitely make sure my girlfriend or someone else is around when I inject.

Hope it helps!

Seems to me you're going about this the right way. Starting T, starting the process of transition, should be a really happy-making thing, and I hope you get to experience that without too much anxiety and other stuff getting in the way.