Susan's Place Transgender Resources

An interesting question that was posed to me by a friend.

Everyone's journey has started differently. Some people, their earliest memories are of being in the wrong body. For others, their "awakening" did not occur until puberty started, and yet for others, they did not realise things until well into adulthood. Some people experimented with crossdressing or makeup at different ages, some only a couple of times, and some every chance they got.

My question though, is when did elements of your transition start to creep into your old life? What I mean by this, is for example, you may have crossdressed, but usually only for a small period of time, say 30 minutes to an hour for example. And you may not have actually walked out of the house with anything on. But once you made up your mind you would transition, you would sometimes wear a nice top underneath your male clothes, only revealing it when you had an appointment with your doctor. Or, you started wearing a bra and panties underneath your work uniform, so you could start getting used to wearing them every day. Or, you started painting your toenails, knowing full well that it would help you feel more feminine, without revealing to the general public.

Does shaving legs count?  That would be around July 2004 for me.

Shy of that, there was nothing beyond roleplay, daydreaming, and a growing sense of angst until December 2011, when I made my first attempt to assemble a female outfit.  It was frumpy and in the pics I have you can tell that I hadn't had the benefit of laser and HRT, but it just felt right.  That was about 8 months before I got formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria, about 13 months before I started HRT, and about 25 months before I went full-time.

I wish I'd tried it sooner.  I guess I was afraid that I'd buy a bunch of expensive clothes that wouldn't fit or something.  I made TONS of excuses for myself over the years.

Early on, I started growing my fingernails long. I didn't want them to chip, so I started putting glossy enamel on them. It felt kind of subversive (and freaked out my family), but it was euphoric to see just one part of my body look like it should.

24/7 mostly.

right after high school

June 2009 I figured out I needed to transition, and started doing small stuff like that. By June 2010 I was done with transition. :) What can I say, once I had the epiphany, I was READY.

I grew my hair out before I even knew what any of this crap was about. I distinctly remember ever since I could remember I absolutely loathed getting my hair cut for no other reason than it seemed weird having it so short. I distinctly remember once when I was a kid, my dad actually dragged me back to the hairdresser's the day after and had me apologize to the person who cut my hair, because I had been glaring into the mirror the entire time.

In high school my best friend decided he wanted to grow his hair out and refused hair cuts until it was past his shoulders... and naturally I wanted to as well. Of course my parents had other plans, and it wasn't until my first year of college that I completely threw a fit and adamantly refused hair cuts. After that I just grew it out over the entire course of time I was in college, and actually completely out classed my best friend's.

I've actually gotten it cut since I started HRT, about one month ago now... I had it cropped off just below the jaw. All of it was pre-HRT growth anyways, and was thin and breaking, so I wanted to start anew, now that it's coming in stronger and my hairline is starting to fill back in.

College was the start of a bunch of other habits though. I started painting my nails, shaving off all body hair, got my ears pierced~ but yeah, first ever sign of wanting to transition was the hair, even if I didn't recognize it.

That would have been about age 3 or 4 when I adopted my female name.

Just earlier this year, I started having a slowly growing desire to cross-dress.  Finally, a few months ago, I started putting women's accessories (like cute hats and sunglasses, etc.) on in a private section at the department store where I work.  I am rather large (which makes finding clothes difficult), and I live in a household that would condemn me for having and acting on these feelings, so I couldn't and still can't "go all out" (and I want to so bad! :( )

Once I started experimenting, it seems that my transgender feelings, like, very quickly accelerated.  It's as if my brain figured out what was wrong with me all my life. I now plan on seeing a gender therapist and transitioning rather soon.

May sound crazy, but despite the growing dysphoria, I am happier for finding the real me!

Shaving my legs, and wearing tights instead of long johns under my pants for riding my motorcycle in cold weather this past year.  It felt really good to wear tights every day.  I now have like 10 pairs in a bunch of cute colors! 

The summer of 06', I switched over to wearing women's underwear, jeans and sneakers. I was still wearing shirts of Death Metal, Hardcore and Noise bands. December of 07 I tossed out the band shirts and just wore women's tops. In the last year or so, I've been going back to wearing a couple of band shirts, along with my Get Along Gang shirts.

Dressing in female clothing on and off from age 10 to 20..At 20 is when I started transition. bottom dysphoria when I was a kid. Feeling extremely uncomfortable being gendered male, body not developing like other guys, the list goes on...

Before starting HRT I had telltale signs and I just posted it on this Forum. But before I started HRT i would cross dress more and wax my legs etc. but since starting HRT I felt I could now be true to myself and I am becomming more feminine naturally - so I actually dont cross dress as much and I don't shave my legs cos I'm still in the closet. My urges started around 10 but I knew I wasn't gay and I didn't know there was an alternative until much later.

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 11, 2014, 06:30:41 AM
Early on, I started growing my fingernails long. I didn't want them to chip, so I started putting glossy enamel on them. It felt kind of subversive (and freaked out my family), but it was euphoric to see just one part of my body look like it should.

Thank you for that fun trigger Suzi.  My hands were an essential part of my career and i loved shaping and buffing my nails.  It also seemed fascinating that a such a tiny, quarter inch, difference in size could feel so enormously feminine and good.  To be honest it seemed i had a lifetime of trans experiences but was still unable to bring the clues and pieces of my identity clearly together until two years ago.  Duh for decades i am not wasting time anymore.   

Age of 19

I started wearing pantyhose at the age of 14, but never out of the house. then at 19 I started embracing cross dressing and the fact I may be transgender.

starting at the age of 19..

I would often wear panties under my male clothes..i loved the feeling of woman's underwear.. I would also paint my toe nails with a clear nail polish.. if i was really brave.. i would paint my toe nails
red. I had one woman friend. that knew my secret.. she loved painting my toes..she today is the only friend i have that knows i was born a male.

if i wore really baggy clothes.. then maybe a sports bra..

i also shaved my legs too...i shaved my legs and pits for the first time at the age of 19..the reason to try on my first dress i owned... those days i only really dressed fully over weekends.. so i would shave my
legs and my pits on Friday evening.. shaving once a week meant by Friday my legs had a lot of stubble on them, which would itch.. lead me to start permanently keeping my legs shaved like woman about 4
months before i went full time..

funny thing when I was  still busy with my studies.. I have a blue cheer leader skirt i got when i 16 or 17.. i loved studying in. i always studied better and did better in tests when i studied in this skirt.

Those little things I did.. i think was to make me feel more feminine.. i wanted to feel the girl in me the whole time..

Around 19-20 I started wearing panties instead of boxer briefs occasionally to work and I started getting only bootcut jeans, since (to me) they were slightly more feminine, as they were fairly fitted at the top and had a flare in the leg, like a lot of girls jeans did then.  I also started shaving my pubes at the same time, because it was more feminine to me.  After I got married, I openly wore panties and women's pajamas some (but not all) of the time.  Fall of 2013, my daughter paints my toenails.  I love it!  Then I get some tights and start wearing panties more at work, as well as tights when it gets a little cooler (I worked outside then).  January 2014, I stopped wearing male underwear completely and started wearing a padded sportsbra in addition to panties and tights.  February, I buy my first pair of women's jeans, go out in public androgynous, and get my ears pierced.  Spring/Summer 2014, I start presenting en femme on my days off, and at a family reunion.

Age 5, asking my grandmother for a dress and seeing her horrified reaction.

Cross dressing starting about around age 9.

Multiple times in my teens considering self-mutilation and twice putting my head in a noose as I considered ending it all.

Then I repressed most of it for the next 30 years though it appeared in other ways. Unable to be intimate during my marriage many times, sometimes lasting weeks, a few times months, and once over a year. Occasionally still cross-dressed. Read numerous novels where a male became female by some means.

Then I finally broke down and faced it.

I hated my hair being cut.
School almost made me cut it one day, Mum told them that if I didn't want it cut (short boy hair style) she'll take me out of it