Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: specialK103080 on August 13, 2014, 07:48:06 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: specialK103080 on August 13, 2014, 07:48:06 PM
So my SO transion seems to be at a stand still and it's really getting my partner down.
We are currently waiting on the doctors appointment to start the HRT.
And sadly I think it maybe a year till it happens, hopefully it won't!!
But till then I want to make sure her spirits keep up.

Anyone have any suggestions on how she can feel like things are still moving ahead.
(She is working on hair removal, but I think we will need more then that).
Things we can do together and/or just for herself.

Thanks everyone.
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: Sayra on August 13, 2014, 09:07:14 PM
Shopping. Although I use shopping as therapy for anything, looking forward is the best way. Go to the New Directions meetings, go out with the others in the group and do things with them. Sometimes just going dressed up seems to help despite the wait.
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: mrs izzy on August 13, 2014, 09:11:54 PM
Has she started any hair removal?
Practice voice?
Started dressing part time?
Thought about name change and started the process?
Been working on personal normal female grooming?
Going out in fem to areas other then support groups?

Sorry if you said before but i read so many posts and its hard to remember, also i am old so memory is shot lol.

I know all about being stalled and having to deal with the health system and waiting.
I just would use all this time to work on as many of the things she needs to get done that can be done in waiting for her GCS.
Alberta just changed there rules for name and gender change on Birth Certificate so that could be something to keep her busy.

Hugs.
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: specialK103080 on August 13, 2014, 10:10:44 PM
Hair removal has been started, we have tried out new names but nothing so far.

Maybe we should to work on the perfect cats eyeliner. I do it almost evey day and it gets practice!
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: blueconstancy on August 14, 2014, 06:37:50 AM
One thing we used to do was home manicures; it sucked when she had to take it off Monday morning, but for the whole weekend she had gorgeous painted nails. And she kept the toenails. ;) (Of course, now she doesn't bother with nail polish...) You might want to simply ask her what sorts of temporary but highly feminine things she might enjoy - hairstyling? pretty underwear? - because I bet she does have a wish list.

Oh, and she can start growing her hair out, even if she has to present as a guy. Heck, I work with a cis man who has platinum blond hair to his waist.
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: specialK103080 on August 14, 2014, 08:17:31 AM
Manicures at home is great also! Plus excuse to buy new nail polish for us.

She has been growing her hair out, it's super curly so it takes that much longer to seem like its has any extra length.

My girl is very private and so reserved, so things that we can do just at home will be the best for sure.
Thanks too all for the suggestions!
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: immortal gypsy on August 14, 2014, 08:24:37 AM
Start using moisturizer, hand creams before going out for the day. It is good for the skin as she is reserved these can be done at home and nobody will notice easily. Also it will eventually become (and should) become habit forming, it can take three weeks to form a habit but only three days to break it again
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: mrs izzy on August 14, 2014, 08:28:24 AM
I know you said she is private but she really needs to start chipping away at the outside world fear.

I did it by going en fem to a few towns over area shopping mall or store just to get used to being en fem.

Huge fear that needs to be overcome.

Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: AmyL on August 14, 2014, 09:38:06 AM
Something that worked for me to feel like I'm progressing is my SO suggested that I start wearing light makeup everyday. Concealer, a little eye shadow and some mascara and eye liner go a long way in helping feel and look a little more feminine/androgenous in your everyday life without being obvious at all. I find that some of the "do it for the weekend and go back for Monday" things to be actually more depressing even though it is fun at the time. The added benefit of slowly introducing things to your everyday life is people generally don't notice and it gives a base to build on.
Title: Re: Things to do to feel like her transition is moving ahead.
Post by: laure_natasha on August 14, 2014, 02:59:18 PM
I found the following help me feel like I am progressing a little:
- pierced ears, I was scared to death of comments. I think I got two ... even at work where I was the boss.
- feminine clothing, shaped jeans, tops, socks etc.
- clear nail polish at work, coloured any other time. Again the only comments I've had are from girls who seem to love the idea of a guy with blue or red nails
- accessories, cute bag, necklace, bangles etc.

Forcing myself to do this also helps make me braver. The negative reactions I think I'll get just don't seem to materialize. I rarely get a second glance and if I get a comment it's often a complement.

Recently I realized that I only need to add make up and styled hair to present fully as a woman, which makes the whole preparation process faster for when I do want to present fully as me.

Next step, light makeup on a daily basis.