Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, recently my sis was telling me all sorts of things that before I was happy but then became unhappy and jealous of her after she told me. I couldn't be happy for her, don't get me wrong, I love my sis I do, and I do want her to be happy, but it's really hard to be when I'm going through depression and a tough time saving up and so on. So when she told me certain things, one of which was that she'd be able to save money because someone is letting her stay in their house for a while for free and then she'll later have to pay rent, well, >_> hello green eyed monster! I had JUST been thinking not long before she told me that about how I can save money, then it hit me, well, the BEST WAY for me to save money would be to not have to pay rent at all. Heck even if I had to pay just a water bill on top of the rest of my bills besides rent I knew I'd save big time. So it really hit a nerve when she said that to me. Sure it's not free rent forever and sure she'd have to take care of the place/land (2 things I'd not want to have to do) but it still got to me. This isn't the first time this has happened with her, that includes to those I see/don't even know.

I'm a horrible person I know, and I wish I COULD be happy for them, but I just can't, heck, I can't even be happy for my sis getting married! And odds are I won't be able to go to the wedding...

It is natural to want things you see and the closer things are the harder.

I would not be so hard on yourself.

Buying her a house warming gift may help ease the pain.

Did she tell you those things knowing that you were struggling to save up? Do you think she was aware of how the news would hit you? Sometimes, I feel envious of a friend who is doing better than I am or of a cis-girl I am close to who is beautiful and popular in ways I feel I can't be--but I often find that this person is not trying to hurt me; rather, my envy is the result of my own feelings of inadequacy.

I don't know how it is for you, but, if possible, talking to your sister directly about how you feel might help you two resolve this. If she's open to it, just be honest with her and try to come to a mutual understanding.

Hope you have some better luck with saving up and that things work out between your sister and you.  :)

Gabby