Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: FTMKyle on August 19, 2014, 01:15:53 AM Return to Full Version
Title: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: FTMKyle on August 19, 2014, 01:15:53 AM
Post by: FTMKyle on August 19, 2014, 01:15:53 AM
My grandmother finally accepted me as male. YYYYEEEESSSSSSSS!
9 years and my mom would not let me tell my grandmother I'm trans. 9 freaking years. And now I suspect that all of my mother's reasons are BS. I think she flat out lied to me by saying that my grandmother didn't want to know. I think she was just trying to cover her own a** because she was afraid of the consequences it would have on her. I had to endure being called by a name I can't stand and being refereed to with female pronouns every Christmas until one year I couldn't stand it anymore, and I stopped going. And it was so so so obvious I was on T. But my mother is no longer in the position to make that sort decision. And I don't know how the topic came up, but my dad told my grandmother and my uncle earlier this year (this is his side of the family I am talking about btw).
A couple of months ago my grandmother ended up in the hospital, and for a while, we didn't know if she would make it. I tried to arrange a way to get my dad up there to visit her because he is having such a hard time with my mom, his car broke down, and then my grandmother got sick. He needed something to go his way. And on Saturday schedules finally lined up perfectly, and we got to see my grandmother. She's doing much better, and she's even talking about next Christmas. When we first walked in she called me Kyle, and she introduced me to her nurse as her grandson. She told me I was getting buff and that I looked good. This is so weird. I never thought she would accept me as male because she has very strong ideas on what a man should be and what a woman should be.
Now I wonder if I should have just taken it upon myself when I first started transitioning to tell my dad's side of the family. My relationship with my grandmother, even though never really that great because I refused to conform to her ideals of femininity, fell apart because I was not allowed to tell her. And because I decided it was not worth the depression sit through a day's worth of female pronouns and a name I hate.
9 years and my mom would not let me tell my grandmother I'm trans. 9 freaking years. And now I suspect that all of my mother's reasons are BS. I think she flat out lied to me by saying that my grandmother didn't want to know. I think she was just trying to cover her own a** because she was afraid of the consequences it would have on her. I had to endure being called by a name I can't stand and being refereed to with female pronouns every Christmas until one year I couldn't stand it anymore, and I stopped going. And it was so so so obvious I was on T. But my mother is no longer in the position to make that sort decision. And I don't know how the topic came up, but my dad told my grandmother and my uncle earlier this year (this is his side of the family I am talking about btw).
A couple of months ago my grandmother ended up in the hospital, and for a while, we didn't know if she would make it. I tried to arrange a way to get my dad up there to visit her because he is having such a hard time with my mom, his car broke down, and then my grandmother got sick. He needed something to go his way. And on Saturday schedules finally lined up perfectly, and we got to see my grandmother. She's doing much better, and she's even talking about next Christmas. When we first walked in she called me Kyle, and she introduced me to her nurse as her grandson. She told me I was getting buff and that I looked good. This is so weird. I never thought she would accept me as male because she has very strong ideas on what a man should be and what a woman should be.
Now I wonder if I should have just taken it upon myself when I first started transitioning to tell my dad's side of the family. My relationship with my grandmother, even though never really that great because I refused to conform to her ideals of femininity, fell apart because I was not allowed to tell her. And because I decided it was not worth the depression sit through a day's worth of female pronouns and a name I hate.
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: aleon515 on August 19, 2014, 12:48:05 PM
Post by: aleon515 on August 19, 2014, 12:48:05 PM
I've heard some people come around eventually! Wow! Well great story.
--Jay
--Jay
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: FriendsCallMeChris on August 19, 2014, 03:52:01 PM
Post by: FriendsCallMeChris on August 19, 2014, 03:52:01 PM
Great for you, Kyle! That must be a huge relief.
Chris
Chris
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: Taka on August 20, 2014, 06:17:10 AM
Post by: Taka on August 20, 2014, 06:17:10 AM
congrats!
your grandmother seems to be a much better person than what your mother thinks.
your grandmother seems to be a much better person than what your mother thinks.
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: Valleyrie on August 20, 2014, 06:57:59 AM
Post by: Valleyrie on August 20, 2014, 06:57:59 AM
Such a beautiful story! I'm glad she's okay and that she accepts you for the man you are. :)
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: Bombadil on August 21, 2014, 12:27:03 AM
Post by: Bombadil on August 21, 2014, 12:27:03 AM
I'm happy for you. Grandparents are often very adaptable when it comes to their grandkids.
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: Felix on August 27, 2014, 01:24:36 AM
Post by: Felix on August 27, 2014, 01:24:36 AM
Congratulations on that. I've found that older people and very young people are often more accepting than anyone else, and not being able to tell them is often due to others misguidedly "protecting" them. She loves you so it's great that she knows you as who you actually are. :)
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: lilthumper on August 27, 2014, 04:29:38 PM
Post by: lilthumper on August 27, 2014, 04:29:38 PM
Congratulations on her being so accepting. Its always a wonderful thing when one of our family members are accepting of us. That is really wonderful how your grandmother treated you. I'm sure it was probably awkward having your grandmother call you "getting buff." I think that's wonderful she introduced you as her grandson. To say something like that honestly signifies a huge level of acceptance.
Title: Re: My grandmother accepted me as male.
Post by: LJ3 on August 27, 2014, 08:17:30 PM
Post by: LJ3 on August 27, 2014, 08:17:30 PM
That's really great! How awesome for you that you get to spend Christmases with your family being yourself. That must be such a great feeling.