Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello,
My boyfriend wanted to stop our relationship cause he feels very anxious with my vagina. He does not like the way it feels and admitted that it can't be compared with natural vagina. He avoided having vagina sex and mostly we did anal sex.
Im two years post op penile inversion....We were together before srs

A guy that wants to split because of your vagina does not love you for who you are (your inside) and that should be the cornerstone of any relationship.

He's not worth it, and don't let a man tell you your new vagina is not one.

Lol totally sounding like a feminist.

Im sorry to tell you that, but it seems like you are dating a ->-bleeped-<- :-\ Even when it's only a ''penile inversion made'' vagina, it should feel the same as a natal one. Maybe a tad tighter, but don't they (guys) like that? ???
That's the reason why i don't want to tell anyone once im post op. Most guys will find excuses to make you down. >:(

You know, sometimes during the first part of a relationship sex seems like such a big thing, but as time goes by (for all of us and all genders) the real beauty is the heart and mind of the person we're with... If you're with someone who can't realize that, they really aren't worth wasting time on, life is just too short, and you deserve so much better..!!

There is so much more to you than a vagina, find someone who will love you for being you, just the way you are...

Sad part happens more then not.

I would give him credit he did not leave you at the OR table.

I am sorry he is making such *ssanine reference to your vagina. 

Move on and find that man who will love you for the female you are.

The dude is doing you a favor. You don't want to be with someone that shallow.

Hugs. It's always tough when someone leaves.

Yeah, I agree, if he's that hung up on your vagina he apparently values genitalia over you as a person. I'm sure it hurts now, and I sympathize, but I think you might be better off in the long run.

(Mrs. Izzy, that word is spelled "asinine," if you'd like to be able to stop censoring it. :) )

It is probably in your best interest to just let him go. I mean doing anal when you have a vagina and him not liking the vagina? It may not be the V that disinterests him. Sorry but you are probably better off without him. :P

Could it be he's suffering from castatration anxiety?

Quote from: Jenna Marie on August 29, 2014, 08:04:09 AM

(Mrs. Izzy, that word is spelled "asinine," if you'd like to be able to stop censoring it. :) )

Thanks for the update. Spell check was having a hard time with the word. LOL>

To many
Sometimes its better to love and learn then never to love at all. We never know what will end or continue till we reach our happiness.

I wish it did not hurt so much. Hugs

Bleh enough about him. How are you holding up, are you ok.

Personally I think he is attracted to men not women. I saw this before by 2 friends of mine. One had SRS when she got operated on the other said he dropped her telling her that her vagina smelled. Then he got involved with another male . He was also a Cross dresser. Once you get rid of it , he is no longer interested in you.

Quote from: divineintervention on August 29, 2014, 03:52:12 AM
A guy that wants to split because of your vagina does not love you for who you are (your inside) and that should be the cornerstone of any relationship.

That's very true, I told my boyfriend my history when we got engaged, he accepted my situation because he loved me for the woman I am, we're now married as husband & wife.
You'll eventually meet a guy who accepts you as the woman you are, not what vagina you have, you deserve better.

That is sad & dissappointing. Not sure what to say however I guess just let him go & if he realizes later that he loves you as you are & misses you he will be back begging. We all feel for you GF. I've never been married to a man however I've been in several relationships. Men are just mean sometimes after they get all they want & need from you/sex.

It's not your vagina it's him. He's got personal issues and needs to realize that and deal with them.

My friends & I have a word for people like him

"F***tard".

You're better off without him

As someone who has been in relationships where my worth to my partner depended on how much I turned them on and got them off, I sympathize with you quite a lot. Listen, sweetie, he doesn't deserve you. He can't appreciate you as a human being. Relationships should always be about love, first and foremost, not lust. You'll find someone way, way better and then you'll wonder why you ever stayed with him to begin with. In the meantime, here's a warm hug to help get you through the pain of the breakup. Things will get better, okay? I promise.

*hugs*

Thanks everyone, you are very helpful. He also called me two days later wanted to stay friends and I answered that this will take time and might never happen. Although its been a week and I missed him but I won't call him there is no meaning

Quote from: many on September 01, 2014, 01:53:29 AM
Thanks everyone, you are very helpful. He also called me two days later wanted to stay friends and I answered that this will take time and might never happen. Although its been a week and I missed him but I won't call him there is no meaning

Oh many. I still am so sorry. I personally think you are doing the right thing by not calling him and cutting off all communication. Like the Raven, "Nevermore." Usually with my experience when a guy says that just want to be friends it is total BS. All they want is to try to let you down easy so they don't feel so guilty. I wouldn't give him that option. If he has anything at your place, throw it in the front yard or sidewalk and tell him he needs to come and get it and not to even knock on the door. It is hard to believe, but there is always someone better out there and way more perfect for you than this guy. Heartaches hurt hon, cry and get it out of your system and then wipe the tears and see this guy as an idiot and messed up probably the best thing he ever had in his life and then go back to being a strong woman and available for a man that is so much better. I know it sounds like a lot of cheerleading BS, but every time someone left me or I left someone, the next one whether it lasts forever or not has always turned out to be so much better than the last.

Thanks again I hope will be more lucky next time. I also thought to work more my dilations to make my vagina 'better'  huh huh

Many, my heart goes out to you GF. After you gave him so much & he's now just a jerk. FYI. I have placed some nice ad's on tsdating as a pre op MtF. There are so many men that I know would love to meet you. Even in my pre op condition some 20 men responed asap & were so anxious to date me, offers to be kept, marriage, I love you, mushy type stuff. Men are a dime a dozen & if you let nice men know you maybe be ready to date again I'm sure you can have your pic of men. I know your heart hurts but when you are ready I real man will love you. Take care. Francis

I'm so sorry to hear this :(

Be strong and stay true to yourself.  Girl, I understand how difficult this can be and how tempting it can get to contact your ex.  Been there, done that and I can't say I was as strong as you. Time will heal.

Fyi, your ex is a dick.

What a douche!  Guys are known for making lame excuses when breaking up with girls.  But he didn't even have the decency to go with "it's not you, it's me."

BTW, I noticed that you're new.  Stick around...this is a cool place.  :)

Oh he called me again yesterday. My heart was ready to break. I could not make it and almost screamed to him telling how bad i was. I broke to tears, I could not stop crying and screaming he told me to calm and he.would.call me again. I have not felt so worst.

You poor girl. Maybe try to find a local GF & go visit, maybe go shopping, a facial, bubblebath. Something to help your pain. Men are just jerks sometimes, kick him to the curb GF & try to be strong.

Quote from: janetcgtv on August 29, 2014, 05:35:18 PM
Personally I think he is attracted to men not women. I saw this before by 2 friends of mine. One had SRS when she got operated on the other said he dropped her telling her that her vagina smelled. Then he got involved with another male . He was also a Cross dresser. Once you get rid of it , he is no longer interested in you.

Most 'tlovers' fiercely pretend to be 'straight' but are (secretly) cd's or tv's themselves.

And into MTF because they represent what they (secretly) long to be; a full time girl. Until the involved MTF has SRS; then all hell breaks loose inside the 'tlovers' head.

Castration anxiety, since most cd's/tv's don't harbour any TS feelings themselves.

I totally agree with the comments that say "let him go". If that's all it takes for him to split, he's not a keeper. And yes, he's prolly a ->-bleeped-<-

Quote from: beren on August 29, 2014, 05:33:00 AMEven when it's only a ''penile inversion made'' vagina, it should feel the same as a natal one. Maybe a tad tighter, but don't they (guys) like that? ???
That's the reason why i don't want to tell anyone once im post op. Most guys will find excuses to make you down. >:(

Not so. My boyfriend has explained the sensation to me. In a GG the tightest part is at the entry point and it gets a bit looser further in (makes sense, as there's a uterus which takes up space at the end of the tunnel). For a trans woman (or at least as far as he experiences me), it's very tight at the entry and even tighter further in.

He likes it, but he can certainly tell the difference.

Quote from: Michelle-G on September 20, 2014, 10:14:13 AM
I totally agree with the comments that say "let him go". If that's all it takes for him to split, he's not a keeper. And yes, he's prolly a ->-bleeped-<-

Not so. My boyfriend has explained the sensation to me. In a GG the tightest part is at the entry point and it gets a bit looser further in (makes sense, as there's a uterus which takes up space at the end of the tunnel). For a trans woman (or at least as far as he experiences me), it's very tight at the entry and even tighter further in.

He likes it, but he can certainly tell the difference.

I've *heard* that the vagina of Eastern Asians tend to be like that (very tight in the opening and even tighter further in), but I'm not sure if this is just a misconception or if it is actually true  :P Might ask Suporn when I have the surgery...

Michelle : I have a close friend who had a hysterectomy, and she says that that's what she's like now. (OK, so we were a little drunk when she shared. ;) ) Apparently the surgeon also warned her that there might be a little additional tightness, and she did have the type of surgery where she lost her cervix as well as uterus.

Quote from: daahrling on September 20, 2014, 01:42:20 PM
I've *heard* that the vagina of Eastern Asians tend to be like that (very tight in the opening and even tighter further in), but I'm not sure if this is just a misconception or if it is actually true  :P Might ask Suporn when I have the surgery...

Misconception from my experience.

Post-op girl-friends,

Brad met me post-op at 19 in college. My parents (Med pros Dr's etc.) accepted me early AFTER lots of therapy, meds and etc., a partial girlhood before birth defect surgery correction at 18; After a 4-5 wonderful relationship, HIS talk of marriage, even my parent approval, Brad my first love as a woman has left me. I cried months, but more therapy, I WILL find another REALLY good man! (My life, really I've only known vaginal sex, and love it more and more 1 year after surgery.

I will find a good man way before I allow someone to touch me intimately again. My sex desires are all about feelings. emotions, projecting/maybe assessing character of men. (As much as possible!) I always knew I was a girl, so my best to all. A broken heart (Mom says) Can be a chance to learn. Maybe I'll - No, I Will get there. There ARE good men out there for me, a young, professional (pretty, even my doctor says) Female!

P.S. I love my vagina, breasts, and female body for a while now.

All my best,

Lisa

I feel like roller coaster but mostly depression and wanted be alone and not talk to everyone. I fight with my mother cause as days go by i get more depressed and wanted to be alone. I can feel like the vagina canal is more like conical at the end but still do not know if that might be a good reason to break up. The missing o f a natal  vagina . Its been a month that  we

Its been a month since we broke up

Quote from: Michelle-G on September 20, 2014, 10:14:13 AM


Not so. My boyfriend has explained the sensation to me. In a GG the tightest part is at the entry point and it gets a bit looser further in (makes sense, as there's a uterus which takes up space at the end of the tunnel). For a trans woman (or at least as far as he experiences me), it's very tight at the entry and even tighter further in.

He likes it, but he can certainly tell the difference.

He's honest and you're honest.

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 29, 2014, 07:33:55 AM
The dude is doing you a favor. You don't want to be with someone that shallow.

Hugs. It's always tough when someone leaves.

I completely agree, this guy is not worth it. But I know it's really hard breaking up with someone.

You deserve someone who likes you for you

Don't you think that its unfair to hide your post when you want to make a serius relation?
I keep thinking how am I going to handle it next time i meet someone...

Many, I hope life is going OK since your break up. I know it hurt. I guess no one can tell you if you should let a man know that you are post op or if you should let go of the past & enjoy being a woman. It's a tough question but maybe just wait until you like a new man & then decide. For me since pre op however looking very feminine, dating & being courted by men it always made me nervous not to tell the man I was a mtF person with some extra wrong stuff between my legs. Some men went away however most did not care. I doubt this helps but maybe??? If you find a man you really care about & if he really cares about you I doubt he will care at all about your private surgery. Take care & good luck GF.