Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm a 18 yr old boy in college. I have struggled with my sexuality all my life. Idk if i am gay/bi or trans. I know many Transgender people say they knew at like age 6 or younger but I only started at 13/14ish. I started to find my attraction to guys and my more feminine side was discovered. I started to dress up in my moms clothes and still do. I've used her makeup. I'm in the closet but idk what for! I do not think i am a CD or its fetish to dress up. I feel beautiful and confident. I have a internal confidence issue as a guy. I see girls and i want to be one and hang with girls and do the things women do. I like sports, football, basketball and all but i do have a fem side and idk what to do. I'd be scared to transition due to the hate crime against transwomen its ridiculous and so sad. I just really am looking for some voices to hear and give help. Thanks ladies!

At the age of 8 and a half I saw a mtf on tv. Been fighting since then. Yup 38.5 years to fully transition (with upcoming srs), 17 year hrt/rle.

Since I was 5 years old, always wanted to be, dress and play with the girls but since I was in catholic school they always made sure that boys would play with boys things and girls would play with girl things.

It took me 30 years after that to start HRT.

But do any of you ladies think i am trans?

A qualified therapist would be better suited to help you answer that question.

Quote from: sjones111 on September 03, 2014, 09:04:44 PM
But do any of you ladies think i am trans?

Only you can answer that.

To the topic question:

I've known I wanted to be a girl since about 7 years old (when I had my own brain, and not some kids brain), but I didn't know what a trans was until later. So, in reality, August 15th, 2014.

iiMTF

Since I was 4. I found out about trans stuff when I was 10. I started HRT at 29.

Welcome to the club, I'm also 18 and in college. For a lot of us saying we "knew" at a really young age is a massive oversimplification. I for example have three brothers, and spent the majority of my high school at an All Boys school. In both these environments It was easy for me to be the most feminine and so even though my body dysphoria was enormous, the social dysphoria- the one I have felt in myself from a really young age- almost disappeared, it didn't but almost...

I probably knew at 5- when one of my dad's business friends came for dinner and kept using female pronouns and everything, it just felt so good :D

As soon as  got into University though the social bit hit me REALLY hard, I shut down and was absolutely miserable, one of the things I remember is just realising how much I was thinking about transitioning and coming to the realisation that if I wanted it to stop I had to give into it.

Just because you can't remember coming to the realisation at a young age, doesn't make you any less trans*

Also, Gay and Bi are different to trans. Trans people can be gay, bi, lesbian, pan, a or whatever else. trans* is an identity thing and although it is linked with sexuality, they are completely different things.

I knew about trans when I was 12, before that I did not have an explanation for the way I felt.

Only each person with a therapist help will be able to define if they are really trans.

@ Jo is amazing, its nice you has ppl already guess or tell you were trans, me im not big 5'7 125 but ppl look at me as a boys boy, except quitley i have a super girly fem side that is hidden. and yes i know the difference, i didnt mean to sound ignorant or anything sorry. more about me just being confused lol. Where do you go to school?

@ Jo is amazing: UGH YES! She will look so beautiful and natural if she starts hrt soon. SO JEALOUS. For me i am not athletic AT ALL lol. Im not good at sports except ping pong and badmiton lol. I'm a big football and basketball fan. As well no one i know, at least i think believe i am gay or a fem guy. I do find guys attractive physically... not sure emtionally. I only kissed a girl once in 4th grade! LOL. I go to college in colorado. We should talk more! Do you have an email?

I knew definitely around age 7, but in the generation I grew up in transition was not spoken at all. One of our hospitals did an SRS in 1972. They received such a public outcry they never did another one ever. :)

I started feeling that I want to be a female around puberty (13 years old) and I repressed it for a long time, because I thought it will never be possible for me and I was afraid that it is a kind of fetish. I never had any gender identity problems before. But I don't remember anything before 6 years age so I can't be sure. I have a very bad long-term memory. However I know that I didn't have any triggers because I was only child and had a very gender neutral childhood.

I didn't identify as trans until February of this year (age 23) but when I hit puberty around 15 or 16 (It was a late puberty) I began to feel that my life would be better if I could restart it and be born a girl. (It was just a fantasy in the back of my mind for those 8 years).
I started hormones the last week of May, and I cannot imagine going back!

Age 4-5-6 - I was confused, I didn't know if I'd grow up to be a girl or a oy

Age 8 - I was extremely jealous of girls around

Age 10 - I thought I was just a feminine boy who didn't really like male gender roles

Age 12-15 - I thought I was just a crossdresser, and I could just 'fix' myself by dressing in girls clothing, but it wasn't the case.

Age 16-20 - I realized I was more than just a crossdresser, or a feminine guy. I also started to feel weird about my body, this was also around the time I started to feel uncomfortable with mirrors.

Age 21 - I started searching the internet to find a name for what I was feeling, and if there were other people who felt like I did, to my surprise, I found so many websites and resources that helped me understand myself little by little.

Age 22 - I learnt I could be trans*, and there were means of methods used to treat trans people.

Now - I still haven't figured everything out and probably never will.

I feel like we all feel forced to conform to a narrative in which we knew from a very young age, or else we aren't really "trans enough".  I'm not saying that everyone here is just saying this because they feel forced too, but I know I tried to convince myself that I had known for a very long time.  I hadn't.  I didn't really know I was transgender until I was seventeen, and transexual until almost a year later.  I was a very fem kid, and I used to cross-dress a LOT when I was very young, but I never actually wanted to be female until I was much older.  So if it makes you feel better, I had no idea until a few years ago, when puberty really started to ravage my body...but things moved quickly from there, and I'm here!

Best of luck to you!

Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on September 04, 2014, 09:24:20 AM
I feel like we all feel forced to conform to a narrative in which we knew from a very young age, or else we aren't really "trans enough".  I'm not saying that everyone here is just saying this because they feel forced too, but I know I tried to convince myself that I had known for a very long time.  I hadn't.  I didn't really know I was transgender until I was seventeen, and transexual until almost a year later.  I was a very fem kid, and I used to cross-dress a LOT when I was very young, but I never actually wanted to be female until I was much older.  So if it makes you feel better, I had no idea until a few years ago, when puberty really started to ravage my body...but things moved quickly from there, and I'm here!

Best of luck to you!

I didn't really know I was trans until I was 20 at least, and I agree with you, it's very hard to know if you're trans or not when you're young, because life is a lot simpler then, and I didn't really feel 'male' in my body. Even today, one moment I'm convinced I'm trans, the next, I'm not sure. I've been told I may not be trans, because I realized later than some or most, but it doesn't offend me, because I never wanted to be trans.

I'm ftm though, but I guess it doesn't matter in this situation :P
I remember situations from back when I was 9-10-11 years old, that I didn't feel female at all. When I was 15 or 16 I watched a video about being transgender, and ever since then I've just known. I'm 19 now.

I knew I was "different" from an early age but I didn't know what the difference was until my dysphoria majorly ramped up in my early 40s. I was one of the first people to have high speed internet so I used it to search to figure out what was going on with me. Eventually I put 2 and 2 together, but I thought I was an androgyne, and then bigender. When I hit 50 my dysphoria had gotten so severe that it forced me into seeking therapy and I figured out from that that I am actually TS. I go full time in about two weeks.

Looking back at my childhood now I can clearly see the signs of being trans. I just wish I had figured it out sooner.

When I was about 7 I put on my mom's perfume
about 7-9 I put on a neighbor girls babushka under the front porch
I also played hop skotch with the girls.
Whenever I was with my mom I wanted to wear her clothes. I also envied the Catholic girls wearing their jumpers. I loved going shopping with my Mom and I would peek in the Three Sisters Store to wish I was wearing the blouses, skirts , and dresses that were on display. Also I wanted to have my hair permed in Goldblatts in Logan Square Chicago.
If it wasn't for how Christine Jorgensen in the 50's being treated very badly I would of have a SRS a that time too.
I lost the number of times on how I would lose what I have between my legs and replaced with a vagina
My best friends are GG and we talk girl talk all the time we are together.

I'm 72 now.

Like Eva I always knew I was different.  But it wasn't until last year at age 56 that I figured out I was trans.   Looking back I wonder how I could not have know earlier.   But I guess I was in such denial that I was not able to even consider the possibility.  Then I could and I had no doubt.

I can't say whether or not you're trans (I second the recommendation of a therapist), but I figured it out when I was 32. No joke. Because of the insistence that "everyone knows" as a kid, I thought for a while that I was faking - but I was fully transitioned within 11 months and had bottom surgery 2 years ago,  and am thrilled with all of it, so I think I'm really trans. ;)

From my first memories. :( Until someone told me that girls had a V and boys had a P, I though t I was just another girl. About the age of 4 when my cousin and I were in the bathtub together I realized something was really wrong with me. Back then it was normal for kids to take baths together. It really worried me at the time.

Well I remember sitting on a blanket in my backyard with a kindergarten friend.  We were 5.  She was a tomboy and was going on about how she wanted to be a boy.  I remember thinking that I wanted to be a girl but never said it to her.  I already knew that I wasn't suppose to say things like that.  Interesting this is one of my earliest memories and at 52 I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

Quote from: Paige on September 04, 2014, 10:09:00 PM
Well I remember sitting on a blanket in my backyard with a kindergarten friend.  We were 5.  She was a tomboy and was going on about how she wanted to be a boy.  I remember thinking that I wanted to be a girl but never said it to her.  I already knew that I wasn't suppose to say things like that.  Interesting this is one of my earliest memories and at 52 I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

Kind of sux don't it? Girls get to be tomboys and cute and boys can't be sissy girls without negative crap being said about them even at that age. Well I was a sissy and still am and really proud of it for the most part. I hate double standards.

Quote from: Jess42 on September 04, 2014, 09:37:38 PM
From my first memories. :( Until someone told me that girls had a V and boys had a P, I though t I was just another girl. About the age of 4 when my cousin and I were in the bathtub together I realized something was really wrong with me. Back then it was normal for kids to take baths together. It really worried me at the time.

A little reversal and you pretty much have my story there.

Quote from: LordKAT on September 05, 2014, 12:04:09 AM
A little reversal and you pretty much have my story there.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. Only thing I really knew was pee pee came out of it at that age. My god, my cousin didn't have that funny looking thing between her legs. I may have even thought I was deformed or something. Anyway that is when I realized something wasn't quite right.

Quote from: Jess42 on September 05, 2014, 12:11:56 AM
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Only thing I really knew was pee pee came out of it at that age. My god, my cousin didn't have that funny looking thing between her legs. I may have even thought I was deformed or something. Anyway that is when I realized something wasn't quite right.

When my brother was born, he was circumcised. I thought that must be what happened to me, only somehow I was super circumcised. I thought it would grow back.  Silly me.  I went through so many thoughts back then.

Quote from: LordKAT on September 05, 2014, 12:35:52 AM
When my brother was born, he was circumcised. I thought that must be what happened to me, only somehow I was super circumcised. I thought it would grow back.  Silly me.  I went through so many thoughts back then.

God I wish they would have circumcised me like that. :-\ Yeah some of the things you think when you are kid.

I knew I was different somehow fairly early on, but it wasn't until puberty set in that I started having dysphoria. I was a fairly gender-neutral child: not masculine, but not terribly feminine either. People said I was a boy, I didn't know anything else, so I just kinda went along with it. I had some gender-incongruent thoughts as a child, but not like what hit me once adolescence set in. The thing is, I was so preoccupied with bullying and depression at the time, that I didn't see it for what it was. That, and it never really occurred to me how unusual questioning one's gender really is. I guess what gets me now is that I had an inkling that I was trans ten years ago, but didn't put the pieces together until about two years ago.

When I was 9 I used to make a wish on the North Star that I'd just wake up the next day and be a girl.

When I was in my teens I used to sneak clothes and dress in my bedroom to feel normal.

In my early twenties I almost went for it and started transitioning, but I knew working at a fast food place and on my own I couldn't afford it.  A year after I started agonizing about it I decided to squash it again when I fell in love with the woman I married.  I am bisexual so I've been attracted to both genders but my wife just got me in ways most others didn't.

I hid this from her for years, with my urge to be who I was popping up every so often.  I'm 37 now and just trying to work it all out once and for all before I bring it up to her, but at this point I definitely know I'm not who I need to be.

Really though, if it hadn't been hammered into me by so many that I was a boy and that acting girly was wrong I probably would have gone ahead in my early twentied or even had the courage to talk to my mother about it in my teens. 

Age 11: Wish I was a girl I don't want to grow up to be a man.
Age 13: hearing about TS/TV/CD from some crappy American talk show No no not like *THAT*
Age 15: Okay I would like to be a girl, But I could live with begin a very androgynous guy. I can compromise with this (Long hair + Epilates Facial hair)
Age 17: So I present as a girl online, and have Put girls clothes on to pose as one, I'm not wearing any makeup/Dress trashy It's not sexual.
Age 19: My body is too male to present as a woman :( *Depression* Please make me female.
Age 21: Tell GP and he's not friendly *suicidally depressed* Fine. I accept it. I'm a Transsexual. I'm independent from my family now, what do I want to live for?

So either 11 or 21.

OK, I'll bite.

Age 4- wanted to wear girls' things.  Wasn't aware of physical difference.  Thought it must have been a sort of preference of your parents or something.
Age 4-7 - most of my friends were girls.  I mean, the vast majority.  Boys were mean to me.  Started trying to shove my genitalia back inside of me.
Age 5 - My brother had an undescended testicle removed due to cryptorchidism (DES, anyone?).  I asked my mom what those were for.  Her reply- "Those are so you can grow up to be a man, grow a beard and have kids." My thoughts at the time - "So I don't really need them."
Age 8 - Wore my friends sister's clothes because mine were covered in mud and in the wash.  Fantasized about trading places with her.
Age 10 or so - asked my mom what my name would have been if I was FAAB.
Age 12 - Felt the first negative mental effects of T.  Felt sick to my stomach for months off and on, maybe a year.
Age 13 - Sister born.  I lost sleep because I was insanely jealous.
Age 17 - Lost virginity to a girl.  Wanted to BE her worse than I wanted to do her.
Age 18 - Numbed myself with all the booze and drugs I could get, distracted myself with music.  Resigned myself to being a guy and stuffed those feelings of being a girl down deep. *le sigh* 
Age 20 - Grew out hair and pierced ears.  Dreamed I was female on the outside all the time.  Became fascinated with transsexual stories on TV.  Still in denial.  Didn't think it was so bad that I'd have to transition or anything.
Age 21 - Pierced nose when like the only other dude who did that was Slash.
Age 23 - Met my wife.  She told me her last boyfriend was a crossdresser.  I buried it SO deep because I loved her and didn't want to f*** it up.
Age 25 - Started growing moobs.  Hey, a girl can always dream, right?  Weight yo-yo'ed for years.  Dysphoria always worse when skinny.
Age 28-42.  The dark ages.  Fat, drunk and high all the time.  Still in ignore, suppress, deny cycle.
Age 42 - Got severe diverticulitis and other health problems.  Got super skinny.  Urge to present female at all time high.  When I had sigmoid colon removed, I was aware I could not have that kind of SRS, still in denial! (Damn, I'm thick!)
Age 42-43 - Put on 25 pounds of muscle.  Testosterone spiked frequently, making me miserable.  Hair loss - UGH!  Then my meltdown...
Age 43 - Admitted to myself and wife that I was gender variant, FINALLY started presenting female, took HRT, then realized I was truly a transsexual.  Went full time 3/13.

Um, this one is tricky. It takes time to realize who you actually are. But at 4, I really thought I should be a girl and would grow up to be one. I "dated" one sweetheart when I was 5, and I didn't really understand why she liked me. I was like her!! But I realized the physical difference by that age. When I was 6, I had a girlfriend and we actually kissed each other. But I still thought I should be a girl. I actually broke up with her and then we remained friends and basically all my friends were girls, and I'd play a lot. I never got called any names, so I never thought I was "different", maybe I led my life like I was a girl like them? Obviously I knew I wasn't completely like them, but I had a hope I'd grow up to become so. My dreams were shattered when my parents decided to make me and my brother switch schools. Then I started being called a ->-bleeped-<-, gay, sissy, in the 5th grade. I became overwhelmed by feelings of dysphoria when puberty started for me, though I've stayed fairly undermasculinized, and my parents were always fighting. My pain became too much to bear and I just couldn't handle it. Looking like a boy and not belonging to the girls' club really hurt me beyond explainable.

For as long as I knew myself, which I would say is around 3-4 years of age, I have wanted to be a girl. I can't remember how I first heard of the words "sex change" but when I did I knew that I wished I could get one. I might have been around 8-10 years old. 

I had a "girlfriend" who I would go and play with when I was little, but we'd play with her toys. I had more fun playing with her toys - dolls, doll houses, etc. We stopped going there. I have no idea why. (I can guess why now.) I played house with my female cousin who lived next door. Played hopscotch, asked to play with jacks and other stuff. My parents were really hesitant and I think they knew but did their best to keep me on the straight and cis path. Speaking of which, I never really had any gay thoughts. Never was into boys or men.

When I was growing up we weren't flooded with media and information. We had no Internet. We didn't even have cable TV. Oh, we also had the library but it was in the city and I lived in a rural area. I didn't go often.

You know what one of the biggest triggers for me were? School uniforms. School uniforms were bland of course but they signified girlhood. I wanted that badly, so much so that I would sneak out at night and go borrow my cousin's school uniform next door from the clothes line, dress with it and return it before the sun came up. Nobody ever found out. I would even borrow our housekeeper's clothes when she wasn't looking. Why not my mom's? Mom and dad split early on. When I did go to mom's for the weekend/week, I did dress up in her clothes. I was in heaven. I was ME and it felt GREAT even though her fashion sense wasn't all that great. I didn't care, as long as I could be female, at least superficially.

When one of my cousins was in secondary school, she developed quickly, big boobs, hips and all. I was going crazy because she did and I didn't. My cousins wear a new outfit? I would get extremely jealous.

One of my dad's cousins enabled me and actually allowed me to dress up in girl sized dresses which were my size while I stayed there. I was overjoyed. We were careful to change back before my dad came to pick me up though. They even said repeatedly that I looked better as a girl. Again, I was in heaven. They "got" me. I really wanted to tell my dad so bad but I knew it would end really badly.

My teenage years were absolutely horrible. When the T kicked in, I don't know what the heck happened. I was a straight A student then I became a straight B and C one. I also developed a serious BO problem despite proper hygiene I could never really get rid of it. I was completely mortified to the point of crying over it a lot. I hated my body hair and would shave it and cut it  a lot. In fact I even wanted to cut "it" off a couple of times. Oh by the way for my boy school uniform I would always choose the pants a bit tighter than it should be, because it felt closer to my skin and thus more feminine. That is until I went to secondary school and started wearing trousers instead of shorts.

Anyway, I did my best to suppress my dysphoria, burying myself in school, work, hobbies, politics (I worked in my MP's office) and finding a girlfriend. I succeeded at most, except one of the above, because I made so many "girlfriends" who were girls who were with my friends... sooo my clubbing days between 18-22 were basically girls nights out, me included.

Oh one more thing, I think it was even worse for me because I lived with my dad, I had absolutely no female clothes to dress with, except from my cousin, and I had to borrow it when I was home alone and my aunt was working outside.

Sorry for rambling on... but to sum it up, yes I knew early. Yes, it was and is persistent and no, it's not going away until it's fixed.

Quote from: ImagineKate on September 10, 2014, 02:42:19 PM

My teenage years were absolutely horrible. When the T kicked in, I don't know what the heck happened. I was a straight A student then I became a straight B and C one. I also developed a serious BO problem despite proper hygiene I could never really get rid of it. I was completely mortified to the point of crying over it a lot. I hated my body hair and would shave it and cut it  a lot. In fact I even wanted to cut "it" off a couple of times. Oh by the way for my boy school uniform I would always choose the pants a bit tighter than it should be, because it felt closer to my skin and thus more feminine. That is until I went to secondary school and started wearing trousers instead of shorts.

This happened to me as well.  I was one of the brightest kids in school, and then in 7th/8th grade, the idiot bomb went off.  ADD issues, brainfog, depression, anxiety, then getting my ass kicked all the time on top of it.  I was suddenly a C student.  I think I must have acclimated to T by 9th grade, because I was almost a straight "A" student, even in advanced classes.  I never got much body hair until I was in my early-mid 20s, but I hated it.  I had to shower all the time to get rid of the funk on me, and my wife even commented that I smelled pretty rancid, even for a dude.  It's like my body was trying to tell me that I was reacting badly to testosterone.  As soon as I got on full strenght HRT, my natural smell actually became pleasant, as if it was the way things should always have been.

  I felt I was different from everyone else from a very young age but I had no solid idea why.  I won't get into my whole story except to say that my life went downhill all the way to age 35 when I stumbled upon the right information to sort out my identity.  Things really started getting better quickly once I began HRT the next year because it cured some chronic physical ills I'd suffered for twenty years.  I am completely changed in peace of mind and physical comfort - better than at any point in my entire life.

Knew when I was five years old; desperately wanted to be included among the girls, desperately wanted to grow my hair and fit in, etc. etc.

Discovered ->-bleeped-<-/transexualism in 4th grade when googling "Help I'm a boy who wants to be a girl!!!", discovered that to my great personal horror there was no cure for what I was, and thus made it my personal mission to transition the moment I could.

Now in mid 20s, few years into transition, and never regretted going forward with this for even a moment!!!!

Sjones111, stop. Just stop.

Some trans people put things together very early. Some do not.

Before you do anything else, please read this.

"That was dysphoria?" 8 signs and symptoms of indirect gender dysphoria (http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/)

Some people realize they are different when younger. I did. But to call myself transgender? I didn't even have the vocabulary until I was well into adulthood and then I had to shake years and years of negative social conditioning to face myself. But I knew I was different as soon as I realized that boys and girls were somehow different. I just didn't understand the full implications of that until much later.

Zinnia Jones, in this linked blog entry, discusses how gender dysphoria reared its head for her in non-obvious ways. Read it. Then stop and look back at your own life. You may be surprised.

I have had signs since I was about 9 but I only accepted and truly realized that I was trans just over a year ago, I am 46.

This is a hard question to answer and I think it depends on what you mean and how you think about it and that changes. I knew I wanted to transition including having surgery by the time I was 28. I self medicated which felt great although it didn't work out well for me (got a kidney stone). Still I knew it was what I needed to do. This is not something I could have said when I was 4. Back then I wanted to have long hair and was attracted to stereotypically girly things. Between these times I dressed occasionally in private hated my male bits and experienced a lot of complicated and mixed feelings. Add to that social pressure and a family that did not accept my feminine traits and it took a while to work it all out. What I would say is that if you want to explore a feminine side then do it. Whether that's to have more female friends to wear some makeup or dress then do it. What you want and feels right for you will hopefully become clear.

Me, I was about 6 when I knew something was wrong, back in those days you didn't talk about these things let alone bring it out in the open. I thought I had this under control until a breakdown about 25 years ago. Looking back in hindsight it seemed like a pit stop to regroup to reach this time in my life, a few months ago it hit me like a runaway freight train! All of a sudden I was losing control and losing the battle I've been fighting all these years. I only recently learned that I was trans (M2F), I have had sexual orientation questions for years but have managed to bury, repress and control them until recently. I just started getting professional help only in the last few weeks and have been officialy diagnosed with G.I.D. plus the smaller storms that accompany this tornado that has been tearing up my life for decades. Don't wait as long as I did to talk to someone and maybe get professional help, I was too ashamed and felt too much guilt to be able to seek help, as a result I suffered one complete break down 25 years ago and was headed to another one recently when I decided to swallow my pride and get help. I wish you the best on your journey.

For me I think I was about 9 or 10 years old, it's hard to determine really as I didn't really think about it at the time; it was just normal, just me.  Apparently when I was very young I told my mum I wanted to be a girl, but I can't remember that.  I went through quite a dysphoric stage in my teens, but managed to keep it all to myself and decided I couldn't do anything about it.  I'm 37 now so that's a long time to keep things like that to myself!

For me as a 47 yr old it was hard to be who you wanted, growing up. I was always playing the Girly games (House, Dolls, Roleplaying) while young. As I grew older I tended to start dressing in Moms and Sisters clothes.
My Bio-Dad left us when I was about 7 and until age 10 or 11 had no father figure. I went thru school as a loner pretty much with not too many friends. Very shy and drawn back and away from others.

At 18 after graduating HS in 1985 I joined the Navy and did a 20 yr career. That time kinda built up my masculine aspects but during those times I dressed secretly and was much more afraid to go out and be seen so I only did it at night and even rented hotels to have a place to change.
I remember one weekend when I was about 19, stationed in Charleston SC, driving a 69 Mustang late at night coming across a bridge dressed up, I saw police lights on the bridge. I thought it was a checkpoint for drunks, but I havn't been drinking.
I stopped at the foot of the bridge (Big mistake), no other cars around and decided what I wanted to do. I was nervous. I decided to continue on and as soon as I passed the cop he pulled me over. My Heart was in my nostrils. lol
He asked me to step out and asked me why I stopped at the foot of the bridge? It was suspicious to him is why he pulled me over. I had no wig on, just a skirt, blouse and heels. He kinda lifted the back of my skirt up (Curiosity back in 1986) and was met with a Garter belt and Stockings and a full cover panty. He made me wait while he looked thru my car, found nothing.
"If I were you, I'd be careful out there." he told me and let me go. I was shaking so bad I will never forget that night in '86. lol

Here I am at 47, Love my Wife and very attracted to her and woman, BUT...it seems I am starting to have a thing for Men(Past 6 months or so..No hormones, nothing..YET). Is that wrong? Is that ok?

Jess

I think i knew it my whole life, allways played with dolls and stole make-up from my sisters when i was 10.
I started accepting it when i tought why i would be thinking to change into a girl even though i have been born a guy.

That pretty much sums up my experience with coming out of the closet..
Just take it one step at the time, in the past 6 months i try to tell 1 extra person every month my secret, now pretty much everyone knows it.

Love,
Emy