Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Okay, I am new here and this may be a little wordy, please bear with me. I am older in life for transition and there doesn't seem to be nearly the resources for us that begin late in life.

I have struggled with my choices for many, many years and am going to begin the process with HRT to transition MTF beginning in January (a sentimental date and anniversary). I have time, and time is what I need. I have been lurking sites and the web forever and am so excited to finally shed my former known self, but have a conundrum.

Very masculine, life leading male on the outside and big, 6', 220; not necessarily muscular, but not really fat, just thick.

Here are the questions and it deals with my future chemical changes and anatomy, and metabolism:

1. Should I begin to go on a massive weight loss regime as a man (where it is supposedly easier), prior to HRT, where I know I can get from 220 to 180 or less by mid-January with the ultimate goal to get below 160, and how will it effect my re-distribution over the next few years, and will I naturally gain weight on therapy?
2. I do not expect good breast development in my 50's, but am concerned for the re-distribution; should I be on a high carb and sugar, low calorie, high aerobic exercise regime to eliminate muscle mass as fast as possible?
3. THE BIG QUESTION... I have read where when you knock out testosterone in the therapy, the penis atrophies and a small vaginal canal results from not having enough supplies to build properly, should I have the SRS before even beginning HRT so I have the vagina I dream of without the risk of not knowing the results later, and for eliminating the production of testosterone before I begin?

Thanks for the support ladies, any thing you can do to help would be awesome!

Welcome to Susan's.

Over 50 isn't unusual. The likely hood of getting SRS before hormones is almost nil. HRT will shrink things but I've seenposts of people keeping in practice so to speak so that they have the donor material needed. They can also use grafts from areas like your thigh. There is a colon option.

I don't really have any experience with any of it since I'm going the other way. I'm sure you will get answers soon.

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Welcome M1anderson to the family,

It would maybe be a good thing for you to checkout the WPATH SOC site for a idea of how the Standards of care apply.

I would also work on fining a gender therapist to also help you walk the path you most will fit.

GD holds many spectrum's and it is something to know where you fit.

But age is a number. There are many of us here more mature ladies and men so do not feel you will be out of place.

Safe passage on your path, popcorn?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F33a6ouf.jpg&hash=70038a414397cf8547aa00ee9064953fc318e096)
Izzy

I am 52 and started in 2012.

My journey, age 50 and suicidal mid December 2012. Did an intake and got a gender therapist. The therapist was an absolute best fit. I originally went to intake requesting HRT. I was stable for HRT 3 months later and had a 1 month wait. 15 months later and I go to group, therapy and joining a gym Thursday in the heart of the gayborhood (returning after 29 years) to gain in community. My primary care (LGBT), therapist, gym ( all queer) and group and within a 5 block radius (walking distance).

I started HRT at 205 pounds and am 215 now. I am 6'3". I want to get to 180. HRT ( especially the longer you are on HRT) the more your diet and exercise must adjust. I am restarting walking 11 flights in the morning, walk 30 minutes at night and will join a Gym. Food on HRT is sooooo much different. I crave salt and chocolate. I can eat a house but had yogurt and a cup of soup for lunch, fruit and veggies for breakfast and stir fry for dinner (12 points). 

Lose weight now because it is so much easier.

GRS is something for later. First, therapy then HRT then RLE. You know after a while on HRT things change. Small things at first then more and more, like a shift Psychologically, mentally and physically. Add in a new community and who knows how you will feel in 3 years. I can tell you it is a real rollercoaster. I am finding out about myself and realize transition is a really big deal. Little by little then something happens  and you see things differently. You are the same person but different.

I have people comment all the time about how I m a different person. I am still stealth male (mostly). I am gaining confidence to start to express more and more.

Lastly, your transition is how you write it or live it and everyone's is different so just make you own path. 

Hi M1anderson.  Glad to meet you!

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 09, 2014, 07:26:17 PMGRS is something for later. First, therapy then HRT then RLE. You know after a while on HRT things change. Small things at first then more and more, like a shift Psychologically, mentally and physically. Add in a new community and who knows how you will feel in 3 years.

^ This ^

Start with the things that are reversible.  Get comfortable with those (or walk away scar-free if you're not) first.  They're often the cheapest things to begin with too.  GRS is crazy expensive and absolutely irreversible.

Also agree on the "follow the WPATH SOC" comment from mrs izzy - those standards are in place for a reason.

Weight loss?  Go for it.  I lost a ton before starting HRT and I credit that with having such good results so far.  Do the best you can - unless you've got huge, thick bones, you're pretty much made up of fat and muscle.  Both can be lost.  Lower the calories, run, run.  More running.  Just getting in decent shape before you put your body under the stress of HRT is a good idea.

Age?  Just a number.  50 is young.

Do you mind if I ask whether you've started therapy yet?

Soo I'm 52, shorter than you but 2 years ago I weighed 216, today I weigh 166.........yay! It's not easy but my blood pressure was up and my doc said I had to fix it. I hired a personal trainer who specialized in cross fit. I could barely do a push-up or sit-up but if you eat right and work hard it works! I lost lots of fat and muscle and I love my new body. I also take finastride which helps and hopefully I can lose a little more before starting hrt.........you can do it! It's hard work but it's worth it. I can give you more details if you want just let me know.

Good luck, Lexi

Thanks for allowing me to become part of the community, and your comments.

A little more about myself.... I have always struggled with my outer self, played and dressed however I could get away with it until late in youth while being the outwardly accepted athletic guy for the suburban conservative parents and society I was in. Through and after college always had a few reminders (clothing) to not get away from it, and would get busted by women in my life (I like women, love women, want to be one) now and again and chalked it up to other girlfriends leaving it behind (this was the early 80's and society was just beginning to progress; went to therapy early on (early 20's but there weren't good therapists regionally that could understand or get a grasp of the turmoil, just dealt with the depression I had "accept your difficulties and get on with your life kind of philosophy"). Moved on not necessarily accepting, but moderating the fact that I would have to live two lives, physical and metaphysical, and met a great woman, married, had kids, was role acceptable in my life with deeply suppressed needs.

The kids are grown. The last eight months have been insufferable, so want to change. I WILL be seeing a therapist (actually kind of shopping for a fit with appointments at the end of the month) given the options now available in the modern world to deal with my issues, familial issues, spouse, needs etc...

As i have said before though, I am a beautiful woman on the inside and I would like to ultimately match this on the outside. I so want to be comfortable in my own skin as much as within myself. I take great pride in my looks as a man and will not expect anything less as a woman. Yeah, I have some major issues.

Quote from: Lex286 on September 09, 2014, 10:05:36 PM
Soo I'm 52, shorter than you but 2 years ago I weighed 216, today I weigh 166.........yay! I can give you more details if you want just let me know.

Good luck, Lexi

I think it's awesome you lost all that weight to make your health so much better, and look better, it is awesome. I would like to talk more given the opportunity. I don't even know where to begin, there is no one I can turn to yet, personally, besides forums and the www. I have to begin my circle somewhere; it would mean the world.

Thanks.

Only one thing I have personal experience with (I did get good breast growth and fat redistribution, but I started at 32) : for me, the penis shrinkage was *reversible.* To my great annoyance, when I want off HRT for GRS, the damned thing bounced back to its original size within a week! I don't know if that's true for everyone, but it certainly was for me.

However, Brassard also told us at the time that anything over about 1" length would be sufficient to get adequate depth. I don't know what wizardry he uses to guarantee that, but it was true... and for the one woman who was smaller than that, she had minor skin graft. So I wouldn't worry too much about this aspect.

Quote from: m1anderson on September 10, 2014, 08:37:30 AM
I think it's awesome you lost all that weight to make your health so much better, and look better, it is awesome. I would like to talk more given the opportunity. I don't even know where to begin, there is no one I can turn to yet, personally, besides forums and the www. I have to begin my circle somewhere; it would mean the world.

Thanks.

Would love to chat, email me anytime :)

Lexi,

I am a newbie and cannot yet access your email etc.... Please reach out to my email so we can get in contact. I SO look forward to speaking with you.

Thanks.