Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Deinewelt on September 10, 2014, 12:57:40 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Our world
Post by: Deinewelt on September 10, 2014, 12:57:40 AM
Post by: Deinewelt on September 10, 2014, 12:57:40 AM
Hello to everybody. First, I want to say thank you to all who help create such a wonderful community for transgender people. I am a 35 yo transgender female. My story, like many others, started when I was much younger. By the way, I am married and fully committed to an amazing woman who has known about this since we first began dating. Although I've been reading the site off and on, I've just never registered or posted.
There is a lot of evidence that I did not get much testosterone while I was in the womb as my index finger is noticeably longer than my ring finger. This would point to the development of male genitals and female brain structure. As a result, I am an extremely feminine person. My body structure never really developed into that of a man despite going through puberty. I've always been small, short, and lightweight. It has always been funny because this is nowhere near the case for others who share my lineage. Lately this is becoming even more so as I get closer to wanting to transition, I've been dipping my weight down into low 120's.
Some of the main issues I'll have to deal with are lots of thick dark facial hair and voice training. However, I love to sing, so I've been training my voice for a long time just singing along in the car while driving.
I've known that I am transgender for a very long time, but I've never taken the steps to go through transition before for various reasons. I've known I wanted to be female since I was about 13. I remember looking at other girls when I was that age and began to envision myself as a girl in various ways. One of the major hurdles for me in the past was that I didn't believe that transition would sufficiently approximate becoming a woman. Over time this one has become less of a problem for me as I learned more about transition.
There are other things that would also stop me such as having to come out to people and face that aspect of it. This part is still a very difficult thing for me, and currently, only my wife knows. I think the toughest thing is going to be telling my dad. If I could work up the courage to do that, I think the rest of it would be easier.
Well I have a gender therapist now that I just started seeing. Hope to hear from you all!
There is a lot of evidence that I did not get much testosterone while I was in the womb as my index finger is noticeably longer than my ring finger. This would point to the development of male genitals and female brain structure. As a result, I am an extremely feminine person. My body structure never really developed into that of a man despite going through puberty. I've always been small, short, and lightweight. It has always been funny because this is nowhere near the case for others who share my lineage. Lately this is becoming even more so as I get closer to wanting to transition, I've been dipping my weight down into low 120's.
Some of the main issues I'll have to deal with are lots of thick dark facial hair and voice training. However, I love to sing, so I've been training my voice for a long time just singing along in the car while driving.
I've known that I am transgender for a very long time, but I've never taken the steps to go through transition before for various reasons. I've known I wanted to be female since I was about 13. I remember looking at other girls when I was that age and began to envision myself as a girl in various ways. One of the major hurdles for me in the past was that I didn't believe that transition would sufficiently approximate becoming a woman. Over time this one has become less of a problem for me as I learned more about transition.
There are other things that would also stop me such as having to come out to people and face that aspect of it. This part is still a very difficult thing for me, and currently, only my wife knows. I think the toughest thing is going to be telling my dad. If I could work up the courage to do that, I think the rest of it would be easier.
Well I have a gender therapist now that I just started seeing. Hope to hear from you all!
Title: Re: Our world
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 10, 2014, 01:10:37 AM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 10, 2014, 01:10:37 AM
A big warm welcome to the family!! I am so glad you are here and hope in some way we can help you get where you want to be. One great thing about this family is all the information you get here is from real people under going transition at every different stage. You will get to find out what actually works and what to stay away from. You will see what actual results are and when something is wrong. We want to hear from you on both good AND bad days and if you need to let off steam just do it. Relax, dig right on in and get to know us as we will you. :)
Please read these very important topics
Please read these very important topics
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Title: Re: Our world
Post by: Deinewelt on September 10, 2014, 07:16:21 PM
Post by: Deinewelt on September 10, 2014, 07:16:21 PM
Thanks Jessica,
I've seen a lot of your posts so it is great to finally say hi!
So far I've had some good days and bad days. Fortunately, today is one of the better days. The other day I sort of a meltdown just over the difficulty that I perceive coming out will be. There is no question in my mind that I want to transition. I just ended up crying most of that day. Even though I know it is what I really want to do, I've never intended on doing anything about it due to all the difficulties.
I recall once trying to communicate to my dad that I was bisexual, but I just could not open my mouth and say it. That time ended up with crying and sadness as well. I was just crying so much the other day because we had spent some time over at my dads and I recalled how hard it is to talk to him. Anyways, I didn't feel like I was going to feel better, but the next day I did actually feel better :)
I've seen a lot of your posts so it is great to finally say hi!
So far I've had some good days and bad days. Fortunately, today is one of the better days. The other day I sort of a meltdown just over the difficulty that I perceive coming out will be. There is no question in my mind that I want to transition. I just ended up crying most of that day. Even though I know it is what I really want to do, I've never intended on doing anything about it due to all the difficulties.
I recall once trying to communicate to my dad that I was bisexual, but I just could not open my mouth and say it. That time ended up with crying and sadness as well. I was just crying so much the other day because we had spent some time over at my dads and I recalled how hard it is to talk to him. Anyways, I didn't feel like I was going to feel better, but the next day I did actually feel better :)