Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM Return to Full Version
Title: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
Post by: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
Did it destroy your mind?
Did it make you hide yourself?
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
Did it make you angry?
Did it change the core of who you are??
My thoughts will come later.
For the good of trans.
SJ Satinjoy, this came from core.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
Did it destroy your mind?
Did it make you hide yourself?
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
Did it make you angry?
Did it change the core of who you are??
My thoughts will come later.
For the good of trans.
SJ Satinjoy, this came from core.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: EchelonHunt on September 12, 2014, 06:52:39 AM
Post by: EchelonHunt on September 12, 2014, 06:52:39 AM
Being trans hasn't changed me, it has merely pulled the wool away from my eyes to my true identity. :)
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: suzifrommd on September 12, 2014, 07:53:23 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on September 12, 2014, 07:53:23 AM
* It made me more outgoing. I always knew there was a part of me I was holding back.
* Gave me more excitement for life.
* I'm now fascinated by gender and what shapes it.
* I want to use some of my time to help make it easier for trans people to get what they need.
* I'm more natural in social situations.
* It appears to have destroyed all romantic possibilities. I'm frustrated about that.
* Now everyone knows I'm "different". Before, everyone assumed I was very conventional.
* Gave me more excitement for life.
* I'm now fascinated by gender and what shapes it.
* I want to use some of my time to help make it easier for trans people to get what they need.
* I'm more natural in social situations.
* It appears to have destroyed all romantic possibilities. I'm frustrated about that.
* Now everyone knows I'm "different". Before, everyone assumed I was very conventional.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: EchelonHunt on September 12, 2014, 08:18:19 AM
Post by: EchelonHunt on September 12, 2014, 08:18:19 AM
Yikes, I took the question the wrong way. The subtle changes in my personality via transitioning...
I changed from quiet, withdrawn to more social and assertive.
I changed from self-harming, binge-drinking, risky sexual behaviors to a place of emotional stability - I am forever grateful for my psychiatrist helping me with this step.
I learned that my sexual orientation has changed little to none - was asexual before, still asexual now and I don't mind this!
It has made me want to spread awareness of non-binary, transgender and asexuality - highly thinking of doing YouTube videos!
I can be loved as who I am - had a few instances where people were interested in me romantically despite knowing I was trans. Unfortunately, I'm indifferent in the romance and sex department!
I suppressed the female self along with the feminine traits - that has changed and thank goodness because a weight lifted off my shoulders. If I had kept powering on ahead towards a binary male transition, I fear there would be whiplash once Jay swam her way to the surface.
I used to be bitter in the beginning but not anymore.
I was never a huge believer in religion but reading up on Hindu deities, there are a few that touch on androgyny or being "half male, half female" and I think it is absolutely beautiful.
I changed from quiet, withdrawn to more social and assertive.
I changed from self-harming, binge-drinking, risky sexual behaviors to a place of emotional stability - I am forever grateful for my psychiatrist helping me with this step.
I learned that my sexual orientation has changed little to none - was asexual before, still asexual now and I don't mind this!
It has made me want to spread awareness of non-binary, transgender and asexuality - highly thinking of doing YouTube videos!
I can be loved as who I am - had a few instances where people were interested in me romantically despite knowing I was trans. Unfortunately, I'm indifferent in the romance and sex department!
I suppressed the female self along with the feminine traits - that has changed and thank goodness because a weight lifted off my shoulders. If I had kept powering on ahead towards a binary male transition, I fear there would be whiplash once Jay swam her way to the surface.
I used to be bitter in the beginning but not anymore.
I was never a huge believer in religion but reading up on Hindu deities, there are a few that touch on androgyny or being "half male, half female" and I think it is absolutely beautiful.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 12, 2014, 08:44:40 AM
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 12, 2014, 08:44:40 AM
Well I enjoy the physical experience of being me... Unfortunately transitioning didn't cure all my mental health issues, the BPD and major depressive disorder are here for life. However I did come to an understanding that they are an extra burden I have to carry and now I know them I can cope with them a bit better.
It made me more open to other people's experiences and their differences which in turn has radically influenced my politics.
It's hard to say what else has changed, people are constantly transitioning from one state to another without even going into being trans, you're obviously the same person that you always were, but at the same time that person is in a constant state of flux and change, being tempered by their experiences. All I know is that I don't regret anything.
It made me more open to other people's experiences and their differences which in turn has radically influenced my politics.
It's hard to say what else has changed, people are constantly transitioning from one state to another without even going into being trans, you're obviously the same person that you always were, but at the same time that person is in a constant state of flux and change, being tempered by their experiences. All I know is that I don't regret anything.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: alabamagirl on September 12, 2014, 08:56:02 AM
Post by: alabamagirl on September 12, 2014, 08:56:02 AM
I hope y'all don't mind me infiltrating the non-binary section, but you seem to have far more interesting discussions over here, and I've wanted to post in one of SJ's threads for forever. :)
It's probably impossible for me to answer this question in a broad sense, as I have no way of knowing what my life would have otherwise been like. Maybe it would have been better had I been born a cis person, maybe worse. At this point, I'm inclined to believe the insight, experiences and people I've met because of being trans have given me an overall better life than I would have otherwise led, however.
I spent many years feeling bitter, suppressing who I was inside. I was... very not fun to be around. I had no friends and my relationships with family members suffered greatly.
It didn't make me an addict, but it probably did make me stronger.
It didn't affect my (lack of) religion. I never had that to begin with, and it didn't make me more inclined to believe in one.
Suppressing it went quite a long ways towards "destroying my mind," yes. I grew into an extremely maladjusted person. :-\
Yep. Not only did it make me hide who I really was, I tried to "overcompensate" for it, too. I intentionally did things and acted in a way that was contrary to how I felt, just so I could fit in and no one would find out my secret.
It does feel like I wasted so many years living a life that wasn't mine, but I'm just thankful I'm happy now. For once. It's a pretty amazing feeling, and I know it's only going to get better as I progress in my transition.
Definitely. Being transgender, as well as some of the people I've met in the trans community, have been directly responsible for making me a much, much, much more compassionate, understanding, nurturing person. I love helping people when I can.
Politics isn't for me. I'm more of a "change the world by helping one person at a time" kind of person than an activist.
Besides the aforementioned anger caused by having to hide myself, I suppose there was also some degree of anger when I finally accepted it. Anger that other girls were just born with what I had to work so hard to achieve. But, thankfully, that stage quickly passed.
Being trans probably affected most, if not all of my life, from a very early age. In the end, I do believe it changed me for the better.
I decided to answer the questions instead of just writing my own thoughts down, free form, as it's such a broad topic, I needed something to help structure me.
Thank you, SJ, for another great, thought-provoking thread. :)
QuoteHow has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
It's probably impossible for me to answer this question in a broad sense, as I have no way of knowing what my life would have otherwise been like. Maybe it would have been better had I been born a cis person, maybe worse. At this point, I'm inclined to believe the insight, experiences and people I've met because of being trans have given me an overall better life than I would have otherwise led, however.
QuoteDid it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
I spent many years feeling bitter, suppressing who I was inside. I was... very not fun to be around. I had no friends and my relationships with family members suffered greatly.
It didn't make me an addict, but it probably did make me stronger.
QuoteDid it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
It didn't affect my (lack of) religion. I never had that to begin with, and it didn't make me more inclined to believe in one.
QuoteDid it destroy your mind?
Suppressing it went quite a long ways towards "destroying my mind," yes. I grew into an extremely maladjusted person. :-\
QuoteDid it make you hide yourself?
Yep. Not only did it make me hide who I really was, I tried to "overcompensate" for it, too. I intentionally did things and acted in a way that was contrary to how I felt, just so I could fit in and no one would find out my secret.
QuoteDid it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
It does feel like I wasted so many years living a life that wasn't mine, but I'm just thankful I'm happy now. For once. It's a pretty amazing feeling, and I know it's only going to get better as I progress in my transition.
QuoteDid it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
Definitely. Being transgender, as well as some of the people I've met in the trans community, have been directly responsible for making me a much, much, much more compassionate, understanding, nurturing person. I love helping people when I can.
QuoteDid it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
Politics isn't for me. I'm more of a "change the world by helping one person at a time" kind of person than an activist.
QuoteDid it make you angry?
Besides the aforementioned anger caused by having to hide myself, I suppose there was also some degree of anger when I finally accepted it. Anger that other girls were just born with what I had to work so hard to achieve. But, thankfully, that stage quickly passed.
QuoteDid it change the core of who you are??
Being trans probably affected most, if not all of my life, from a very early age. In the end, I do believe it changed me for the better.
I decided to answer the questions instead of just writing my own thoughts down, free form, as it's such a broad topic, I needed something to help structure me.
Thank you, SJ, for another great, thought-provoking thread. :)
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: LordKAT on September 13, 2014, 04:34:56 AM
Post by: LordKAT on September 13, 2014, 04:34:56 AM
I don't think it changed me at all. I am the person I have ever been.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Cindy on September 13, 2014, 04:51:20 AM
Post by: Cindy on September 13, 2014, 04:51:20 AM
I'm stronger, happier and very political.
I really enjoy my sexuality, I enjoy being me.
I'm happy.
Tonight I'm tired and angry, but in a good way.
There is no going back, there is only the future and I'm ready to embrace it.
Goddess I wish I had done this 40 years ago.
I really enjoy my sexuality, I enjoy being me.
I'm happy.
Tonight I'm tired and angry, but in a good way.
There is no going back, there is only the future and I'm ready to embrace it.
Goddess I wish I had done this 40 years ago.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Mark3 on September 13, 2014, 06:20:44 AM
Post by: Mark3 on September 13, 2014, 06:20:44 AM
Its made me "more me" in a lot of ways, since I've begun to accept the part of me that's always been repressed by fear, peer pressure, risk of loosing people around me.. I'm not bitter, just wishful I could have been inspired sooner to face these feelings, and feel assured I'd be accepted as I am.. Without this forum and wonderful family here I never could have ever even considered these things, and would still be in hiding...
I was an alcoholic for many years, and now I see it was from being so out of place, and unhappy with the person I was.. Now I don't drink, not for 2 years, triggered from finding out I have liver disease, but also I feel no urge to drink anymore, since I've been figuring out who I really am, and honestly am quite pleased with myself, even though still hesitant and unsure about talking about the core being I've discovered within me..
Yes, my religious beliefs have been jaded, but strengthened also.. I can no longer be in a church that oppresses or condems gay or trans people, I just have no stomach to listen to that rubbish and lies any longer.. There are many churches now affirming and accepting of lgbt members, and those churches strengthen me and give me hope..
The CIS part of me, or true male, seems to be my other parts protector, like a big brother inside myself, there to defend my gentler self inside.. Yes I also hide too, but not as much as before...
Yes its made me tons more understanding and compassionate to others.. I mean I'm amazed, I understand you now, and understand me better.. No longer do I have to rely on opinions, statistics or what anyone else says, I know you now, I know the truth, and I love with all my heart my trans family, and myself as I find more and more in common each day.. I'm so happy, now I don't have to refer to the trans community as "they" or "them", now I can really say " us" and "we"... For some reason that just makes me smile ear to ear..
I don't really feel like I want to change the world, because I can't..? But changing how people think, just one person at a time, can and will change the world, that's what I try and do.. Not very well though I must admit..
So that's some of my thoughts..
Will more here share too..?
Looking forward to reading your comments SJ...
Happiness and care to all..
:)
I was an alcoholic for many years, and now I see it was from being so out of place, and unhappy with the person I was.. Now I don't drink, not for 2 years, triggered from finding out I have liver disease, but also I feel no urge to drink anymore, since I've been figuring out who I really am, and honestly am quite pleased with myself, even though still hesitant and unsure about talking about the core being I've discovered within me..
Yes, my religious beliefs have been jaded, but strengthened also.. I can no longer be in a church that oppresses or condems gay or trans people, I just have no stomach to listen to that rubbish and lies any longer.. There are many churches now affirming and accepting of lgbt members, and those churches strengthen me and give me hope..
The CIS part of me, or true male, seems to be my other parts protector, like a big brother inside myself, there to defend my gentler self inside.. Yes I also hide too, but not as much as before...
Yes its made me tons more understanding and compassionate to others.. I mean I'm amazed, I understand you now, and understand me better.. No longer do I have to rely on opinions, statistics or what anyone else says, I know you now, I know the truth, and I love with all my heart my trans family, and myself as I find more and more in common each day.. I'm so happy, now I don't have to refer to the trans community as "they" or "them", now I can really say " us" and "we"... For some reason that just makes me smile ear to ear..
I don't really feel like I want to change the world, because I can't..? But changing how people think, just one person at a time, can and will change the world, that's what I try and do.. Not very well though I must admit..
So that's some of my thoughts..
Will more here share too..?
Looking forward to reading your comments SJ...
Happiness and care to all..
:)
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Auroramarianna on September 13, 2014, 06:35:33 AM
Post by: Auroramarianna on September 13, 2014, 06:35:33 AM
It makes me me feel in very different ways. But mostly, I think I am a better person. More in tune with other people's suffering, more empathetic, more sensitive to people's pain. My mom thinks I'm completely delusional and doesn't want to lose her "sweet boy", but what she doesn't understand is that being trans has shaped that way I am since I exist.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Misato on September 13, 2014, 07:38:49 AM
Post by: Misato on September 13, 2014, 07:38:49 AM
Being trans and accepting it, allowed my life to begin.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Kimberley Beauregard on September 13, 2014, 11:55:20 AM
Post by: Kimberley Beauregard on September 13, 2014, 11:55:20 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
It definitely made me more accepting of myself when I realised I had a female side. Despite the initial stress that arose from any confusion I felt, the realisation helped alleviate a lot of my anxiety. Over time, my sexuality changed too. I immediately embraced all changes to my gender identity and sexuality.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
Only a fighter, but I pick my battles wisely.
Did it jade your religion? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
This doesn't apply to me as I'm not religious. I don't think I can answer this even hypothetically.
Did it destroy your mind?
Definitely not. My mental state has improved dramatically over the past several months but there are many compounding factors to that.
Did it make you hide yourself?
I only learned what "it" was recently and just went with it.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
When I discovered what "it" was, I was hit by a wave of feelings. They became so strong at one point that I actually resented not being female, but I didn't hate being male. Those feelings suddenly went away one day. I haven't felt that strongly since and I don't think I ever will, though trans feelings arise intermittently. It's a blessing that I get to present as either male or female.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
No, learning to empathise with others was an entirely separate process for me, as was gaining mental stability (though realising I'm transgender did help improve my mental state).
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
No, and I've always been in an ongoing process evaluating my views and opinions and forming new ones.
Did it make you angry?
No. The initial gender confusion was mildly stressful at first, but I never had a problem with being transgender.
Did it change the core of who you are??
Definitely not. I have the same basic personality whether I'm James or Kimberley.
It definitely made me more accepting of myself when I realised I had a female side. Despite the initial stress that arose from any confusion I felt, the realisation helped alleviate a lot of my anxiety. Over time, my sexuality changed too. I immediately embraced all changes to my gender identity and sexuality.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
Only a fighter, but I pick my battles wisely.
Did it jade your religion? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
This doesn't apply to me as I'm not religious. I don't think I can answer this even hypothetically.
Did it destroy your mind?
Definitely not. My mental state has improved dramatically over the past several months but there are many compounding factors to that.
Did it make you hide yourself?
I only learned what "it" was recently and just went with it.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
When I discovered what "it" was, I was hit by a wave of feelings. They became so strong at one point that I actually resented not being female, but I didn't hate being male. Those feelings suddenly went away one day. I haven't felt that strongly since and I don't think I ever will, though trans feelings arise intermittently. It's a blessing that I get to present as either male or female.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
No, learning to empathise with others was an entirely separate process for me, as was gaining mental stability (though realising I'm transgender did help improve my mental state).
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
No, and I've always been in an ongoing process evaluating my views and opinions and forming new ones.
Did it make you angry?
No. The initial gender confusion was mildly stressful at first, but I never had a problem with being transgender.
Did it change the core of who you are??
Definitely not. I have the same basic personality whether I'm James or Kimberley.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 13, 2014, 12:09:27 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 13, 2014, 12:09:27 PM
Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
It changed me 180 degrees from the terrible person I was.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
It freed my heart and soul and gave me a freedom I never had. The freedom to just be me with no expectations of the public or status to live up to. I am simply me now.
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
It gave me a clarity to see the hypocrisy involved in religion and how you are only accepted if you assimilate and be "normal". I still believe in G-D, maybe so more now than before because I now see his love versus man's view of it. I could not transition without G-D.
Did it destroy your mind?
It cleared and freed my mind and gave me peace and serenity.
Did it make you hide yourself?
I am more visual and out in the public than before. I love to get out and about now. I hid way more of myself pre transition.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
Quite honestly it made me love the other part of me for protecting me all those dark years. After all "he" took for me I hope his rest is peaceful and relaxing. I found I really love him for what he did for me and remember him fondly. I do not hate the cis component to him, I want to date him!!
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
You tell me! *giggles*
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
The terrible denial of basic medical services, YES. I don't want to change the world, just let it know we are here and deserve to exist like they do.
Did it make you angry?
Quite the opposite. I have genuine true love for others now. I no longer want to see them turned to ash with a nuke.
Did it change the core of who you are??
I don't think it changed it as much as just let it out. It just allows me to be a true and accurate person with what is reflected in my heart. I no longer feel the constant need to protect myself all the time now.
Title: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: ImagineKate on September 13, 2014, 12:49:55 PM
Post by: ImagineKate on September 13, 2014, 12:49:55 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on September 13, 2014, 04:34:56 AM
I don't think it changed me at all. I am the person I have ever been.
Agree with Kat here. I'm always who I was except that the world is a brighter place for me now that I see my way out of the woods.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Kyra553 on September 13, 2014, 01:23:49 PM
Post by: Kyra553 on September 13, 2014, 01:23:49 PM
I have to say mentally I haven't changed. (far as I can tell..) But having lost lots of weight and seeing myself turn from fat man into thinner more fem woman I can say I like myself more than ever! The only real changes have been those around me family, friends, and coworkers. To say the least, their still changing...
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: peky on September 13, 2014, 01:37:23 PM
Post by: peky on September 13, 2014, 01:37:23 PM
Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
SJ Satinjoy, this came from core.
At the core (morals, ethics, integrity), I am who I always have been. My philosophical beliefs have evolved hand in hand with my education and life experiences
Perhaps in my case, I can ask how have I change since I dropped the assumed/forced male role? (e.g. transitioned)
Well, at the core very little... I am more happy but more fearful and unsure about my future.... in all honesty
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Jill F on September 13, 2014, 02:04:40 PM
Post by: Jill F on September 13, 2014, 02:04:40 PM
I have this really cute bubble butt now. LOL
I'm the same person with the same interests, but I'm just glad I don't have to act like someone I'm really not anymore. I am at peace with myself and have a renewed outlook on life. I take time to smell the flowers now. I smile a lot, where I almost never did before.
And what up with baby animals? I mean, turbo squee!!!
I'm the same person with the same interests, but I'm just glad I don't have to act like someone I'm really not anymore. I am at peace with myself and have a renewed outlook on life. I take time to smell the flowers now. I smile a lot, where I almost never did before.
And what up with baby animals? I mean, turbo squee!!!
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Auroramarianna on September 13, 2014, 02:22:36 PM
Post by: Auroramarianna on September 13, 2014, 02:22:36 PM
I just wanted to ask this question to clarify. Do you define trans as the people who have already started transition or are you emcompassing everyone who identifies as trans, whether they are pre-HRT or on HRT? Cuz if it's the latter, then it's something I have been my whole life and wouldn't kno what it's like not to be it. After all, I see life through my eyes and unique perspective. I have been feminine both in manneirisms and voice since very young, and I have to go through a lot due to it, and definitely has made me a better person. But if you're talking about HRT and SRS, I guess I don't know. I guess I'll change in ways I can't predict right now.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Shantel on September 13, 2014, 07:19:57 PM
Post by: Shantel on September 13, 2014, 07:19:57 PM
Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
Ok I'll play. No it has not changed me in the least internally, my physiology has changed somewhat.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer? No not at all bitter, I was a fighter and an overcomer all along as well as a maintenance level alcoholic like so many others.
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this? No, if anything a stronger believer, I'm in no way religious.
Did it destroy your mind? More like expanded my mind and changed some of my preconceived notions.
Did it make you hide yourself? Not this kid!
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one? No and I don't understand that sort of thing.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good? I think so.
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world? Nope, waste of time and my life's energy, it isn't going to happen until human nature changes when Christ returns.
Did it make you angry? Only at the whiners and the poor me snivelers. I have zero tolerance for drama and BS.
Did it change the core of who you are?? Not wanting to be irreligious, but I am who I am and am a forever unchanging persona.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: King Malachite on September 13, 2014, 08:04:27 PM
Post by: King Malachite on September 13, 2014, 08:04:27 PM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
* Yes, being trans aided in me being bitter. It makes me feel like a fighter, but in reality, I doubt that I am. I'm sure being trans aided in making me addicted to food and maybe even video games. An overcomer? It sounds nice on paper, but in reality, I doubt that it has made me be an overcomer.
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
* It did in the beginning, but now I find my that faith is stronger than ever.
Did it destroy your mind?
* Yes, it did.
Did it make you hide yourself?
* Yes, and I'm still hiding to most.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
* I'm not quite sure what you mean by my other component, but as far as cis people are concerned, I will say that I do have my personal issues I need to work out concerning that. I don't want to elaborate about it in public as not to offend anyone.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
*Sort of.....I think my faith had something to do with that too, especially considering romantic relationships. In general, I don't consider myself a powerful weapon for good....I'm more like a burden and a liability.
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
* No. I take Shantel's position on that. This world is only going to get worse in my opinion.
Did it make you angry?
* Yes
Did it change the core of who you are??
That's hard to say. I think my faith did that more, but I do think being trans had a huge part to play it in.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
* Yes, being trans aided in me being bitter. It makes me feel like a fighter, but in reality, I doubt that I am. I'm sure being trans aided in making me addicted to food and maybe even video games. An overcomer? It sounds nice on paper, but in reality, I doubt that it has made me be an overcomer.
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
* It did in the beginning, but now I find my that faith is stronger than ever.
Did it destroy your mind?
* Yes, it did.
Did it make you hide yourself?
* Yes, and I'm still hiding to most.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
* I'm not quite sure what you mean by my other component, but as far as cis people are concerned, I will say that I do have my personal issues I need to work out concerning that. I don't want to elaborate about it in public as not to offend anyone.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
*Sort of.....I think my faith had something to do with that too, especially considering romantic relationships. In general, I don't consider myself a powerful weapon for good....I'm more like a burden and a liability.
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
* No. I take Shantel's position on that. This world is only going to get worse in my opinion.
Did it make you angry?
* Yes
Did it change the core of who you are??
That's hard to say. I think my faith did that more, but I do think being trans had a huge part to play it in.
Title: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: ImagineKate on September 13, 2014, 10:39:00 PM
Post by: ImagineKate on September 13, 2014, 10:39:00 PM
Quote from: Auroramarianna on September 13, 2014, 02:22:36 PM
I just wanted to ask this question to clarify. Do you define trans as the people who have already started transition or are you emcompassing everyone who identifies as trans, whether they are pre-HRT or on HRT? Cuz if it's the latter, then it's something I have been my whole life and wouldn't kno what it's like not to be it. After all, I see life through my eyes and unique perspective. I have been feminine both in manneirisms and voice since very young, and I have to go through a lot due to it, and definitely has made me a better person. But if you're talking about HRT and SRS, I guess I don't know. I guess I'll change in ways I can't predict right now.
I am pre everything too but I have been on HRT before (low dose, trying to quell the dysphoria). I did notice that I am a bit calmer with less T in my system and I really noticed my health improving. I had a much more optimistic look on life and I felt happier and more confident. Some of that has stayed with me. Now since deciding to pursue full transition I regained that happiness because I will finally be able to freely express who I really am on the inside. So there may be a biochemical component from the HRT but I think a lot of it is mental, and even if you were unknowingly given placebos you would feel similar.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: kelly_aus on September 14, 2014, 12:59:17 AM
Post by: kelly_aus on September 14, 2014, 12:59:17 AM
No idea.. I've never not been trans.
Title: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Club8698 on September 14, 2014, 10:17:02 AM
Post by: Club8698 on September 14, 2014, 10:17:02 AM
I thing it's best of both worlds.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: helen2010 on September 15, 2014, 03:13:07 AM
Post by: helen2010 on September 15, 2014, 03:13:07 AM
SJ
Another good thread - first, while I have always been trans*, I didn't always know that I was trans* - so for a large part of my life I felt out of place, an actor, an observer and was very worried that I was abnormal, damaged etc and struggled to build deep and authentic relationships.
- second, once I knew that I was trans*, I was able to understand, accept, express and celebrate myself. I found that I could be authentic, that I could connect more easily with folk, that I could be more present and focused on others without my ego and the incessant dysphoria clouding or overlaying every thought or experience.
- third, the process of discovery, acceptance and celebration has helped me live this life to the full.
- fourth, living life fully, consciously and authentically has caused me to accept and to celebrate the gift that being trans* has been to me.
Safe travels
Aisla
Another good thread - first, while I have always been trans*, I didn't always know that I was trans* - so for a large part of my life I felt out of place, an actor, an observer and was very worried that I was abnormal, damaged etc and struggled to build deep and authentic relationships.
- second, once I knew that I was trans*, I was able to understand, accept, express and celebrate myself. I found that I could be authentic, that I could connect more easily with folk, that I could be more present and focused on others without my ego and the incessant dysphoria clouding or overlaying every thought or experience.
- third, the process of discovery, acceptance and celebration has helped me live this life to the full.
- fourth, living life fully, consciously and authentically has caused me to accept and to celebrate the gift that being trans* has been to me.
Safe travels
Aisla
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Taka on September 15, 2014, 05:14:36 AM
Post by: Taka on September 15, 2014, 05:14:36 AM
hmm... let's try this.
- How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
being trans hasn't changed anything. realizing i am, and accepting it, has changed how i am, though not who i am.
- Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
i'm a fiction addict, but i have much more reality than just the trans side of it to escape from. can't blame trans for everything.
- Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
it made me question man's interpretations of the word, not really the word itself.
this makes religion stronger, as it make a person read more closely and pay more attention.
a certain man once told his followers to think for themselves, read the texts properly, and not blindly trust any preachers.
- Did it destroy your mind?
no. but people have tried to.
- Did it make you hide yourself?
i've hidden so much of myself, i'm not even sure how much of it was trans and how much was other.
i do hide transness from most people, but that's mostly for convenience.
- Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
hate was directed at a system and society that are willing to accept only one and never both. i have no reason to hate myself.
- Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
or did my deep understanding of others make me trans? who knows?
some tell me i'm a powerful... tool, for good. not a gun, but more like an immovable mountain when i just decide to be one.
- Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
i exist. this should change the world more than enough in itself.
i'm not political regarding trans issues, though i'll tell people what i think if they ask.
right now, with the job that i have, i'll avoid getting politically involved. politicians can do that, and the public.
- Did it make you angry?
people make me angry, when they refuse to accept that life doesn't have only one answer.
- Did it change the core of who you are??
isn't the core supposed to be unchangeable? the wrapping has changed a little, the insides never will. i am me forever.
might change with transition, but this is what i know now.
- How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
being trans hasn't changed anything. realizing i am, and accepting it, has changed how i am, though not who i am.
- Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
i'm a fiction addict, but i have much more reality than just the trans side of it to escape from. can't blame trans for everything.
- Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
it made me question man's interpretations of the word, not really the word itself.
this makes religion stronger, as it make a person read more closely and pay more attention.
a certain man once told his followers to think for themselves, read the texts properly, and not blindly trust any preachers.
- Did it destroy your mind?
no. but people have tried to.
- Did it make you hide yourself?
i've hidden so much of myself, i'm not even sure how much of it was trans and how much was other.
i do hide transness from most people, but that's mostly for convenience.
- Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
hate was directed at a system and society that are willing to accept only one and never both. i have no reason to hate myself.
- Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
or did my deep understanding of others make me trans? who knows?
some tell me i'm a powerful... tool, for good. not a gun, but more like an immovable mountain when i just decide to be one.
- Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
i exist. this should change the world more than enough in itself.
i'm not political regarding trans issues, though i'll tell people what i think if they ask.
right now, with the job that i have, i'll avoid getting politically involved. politicians can do that, and the public.
- Did it make you angry?
people make me angry, when they refuse to accept that life doesn't have only one answer.
- Did it change the core of who you are??
isn't the core supposed to be unchangeable? the wrapping has changed a little, the insides never will. i am me forever.
might change with transition, but this is what i know now.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Satinjoy on September 15, 2014, 03:14:43 PM
Post by: Satinjoy on September 15, 2014, 03:14:43 PM
Quote from: Auroramarianna on September 13, 2014, 02:22:36 PM
I just wanted to ask this question to clarify. Do you define trans as the people who have already started transition or are you emcompassing everyone who identifies as trans, whether they are pre-HRT or on HRT? Cuz if it's the latter, then it's something I have been my whole life and wouldn't kno what it's like not to be it. After all, I see life through my eyes and unique perspective. I have been feminine both in manneirisms and voice since very young, and I have to go through a lot due to it, and definitely has made me a better person. But if you're talking about HRT and SRS, I guess I don't know. I guess I'll change in ways I can't predict right now.
All trans, whether we show it outside, or whether we just know it is us. An open question for the good of all trans, a non exclusive thread.
I am still thinking through my answers....
Love to all here
--Satinjoy
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Allyda on September 15, 2014, 04:10:45 PM
Post by: Allyda on September 15, 2014, 04:10:45 PM
Wow! this one is a toughie cause I've always been trans/IS and knew I was all girl since very early childhood. Therefore I'll answer these based on "Since beginning my transition":
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are? Generally it has made me a much happier and better more tolerant person sympathetic to the needs of others.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer? I'd say an overcomer. I'll admit I was a very unhappy bitter person before transition, but I've had to overcome a lot much of which I wouldn't wish on anybody, to get to the happy place I am now.
Did it jade your religion? Bring you to a stronger place in this? It has actually strengthened my religion/spirituality. I've more embraced my Native religion and have come to realize God is love and loves everybody despite how some people twist this to fit their point of view to what God is and the Bible says. And for my Native side I've more embraced my connection with nature with an openness I never had before. I'm actually looking forward to moving back west to further be in touch with this by visiting my Reservation more often, perhaps even moving there.
Did it destroy your mind? No, on the contrary, it opened my mind to a new life and new possibilities.
Did it make you hide yourself? Definitely not! I did too much hiding before my transition. Now I love and enjoy going out and meeting people as me, who I've always been.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one? I don't understand this question. But if it's about my nether regions I've always hated what's there. And if it's about a male component; I've never had one.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good? Well,{giggles} I dunno about a powerful weapon for good,{more giggles} but as I answered in question one I answer this one with a resounding YES!
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world? I've always been a realist. Sure, I'd love to change the world. Especially with regard to how our community is viewed. But I also realize there's nothing I as one woman can do, except be the best woman I can and hope it's enough.
Did it make you angry? I'm only angry at circumstances that came along to interrupt my transitioning much sooner, and at the best years of my life being lost to misery and despair.
Did it change the core of who you are?? Definitely not. I've always been who I am. My core Identity has always been the girl/woman you now see on the outside. It just took me a while to fight my way out.
An interesting question and y'all have given some very interesting answers.
Best wishes Everyone. :icon_bunch:
Ally :icon_flower:
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are? Generally it has made me a much happier and better more tolerant person sympathetic to the needs of others.
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer? I'd say an overcomer. I'll admit I was a very unhappy bitter person before transition, but I've had to overcome a lot much of which I wouldn't wish on anybody, to get to the happy place I am now.
Did it jade your religion? Bring you to a stronger place in this? It has actually strengthened my religion/spirituality. I've more embraced my Native religion and have come to realize God is love and loves everybody despite how some people twist this to fit their point of view to what God is and the Bible says. And for my Native side I've more embraced my connection with nature with an openness I never had before. I'm actually looking forward to moving back west to further be in touch with this by visiting my Reservation more often, perhaps even moving there.
Did it destroy your mind? No, on the contrary, it opened my mind to a new life and new possibilities.
Did it make you hide yourself? Definitely not! I did too much hiding before my transition. Now I love and enjoy going out and meeting people as me, who I've always been.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one? I don't understand this question. But if it's about my nether regions I've always hated what's there. And if it's about a male component; I've never had one.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good? Well,{giggles} I dunno about a powerful weapon for good,{more giggles} but as I answered in question one I answer this one with a resounding YES!
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world? I've always been a realist. Sure, I'd love to change the world. Especially with regard to how our community is viewed. But I also realize there's nothing I as one woman can do, except be the best woman I can and hope it's enough.
Did it make you angry? I'm only angry at circumstances that came along to interrupt my transitioning much sooner, and at the best years of my life being lost to misery and despair.
Did it change the core of who you are?? Definitely not. I've always been who I am. My core Identity has always been the girl/woman you now see on the outside. It just took me a while to fight my way out.
An interesting question and y'all have given some very interesting answers.
Best wishes Everyone. :icon_bunch:
Ally :icon_flower:
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Satinjoy on September 16, 2014, 06:21:10 AM
Post by: Satinjoy on September 16, 2014, 06:21:10 AM
Quote from: Satinjoy on September 12, 2014, 06:23:21 AM
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
Did it make you bitter? A fighter? An alcoholic or addict? An overcomer?
I am deeply bitter. Right to the core, but I overcome this, mostly by allowing Satinjoy to have control, using positive to overcome the darkness inside. I am a fighter to the core, for me, not so much, for others, to the death in this place, fueled by anger and rage and a knowledge that what is right has been corrupted by fools. I am an alcoholic and an addict, brought to deaths door by alcohol, and addictied to pot and to amyl nitrate. Trans was a triggering factor, there are many times when I was quietly kicked out of low level bars, for sitting on the floor drinking, or woke up in a broom closet. Am I an overcomer? Am I alive? Then yes.
Did it jade your religioun? Bring you to a stronger place in this?
It ruined it for me completely, it destroyed my deep love and passion for church, it made me a freak and not part of a body of believers, it caused unspeakable pain, it killed my calling in that place. But it did not breach my relationship with the God of my understanding, who is the triune Jesus, and as a direct intercession by Him in a vision to my wife, I remain married, she was told to accept me, and for me, He also visited, telling me flat out to trust Him. Not evangelizing, speaking only my truth here, I cannot do anything else.
Did it destroy your mind?
A lot of it. But we are putting that back together and it has made me so much stronger, my emotions however we watch carefully here on the forum, I can destabilize in a heartbeat into fear, depression, and mental freeze.
Did it make you hide yourself?
I became so good at hiding that when I came out under the direction of the shrink, nobody had the slightest idea what was coming. Now, I am out period, in my chosen presentations, when I want to be whatever I am in the moment. Right this second, full transition, later, muted genderqueer as I deal with the idiot I work with.
Did it cause you to hate and suppress your other component, then whiplash and make you hate the cis one?
Absolutely. I got over it.
Did it bring you into a place of compassion and deep understanding of others needs, make you a powerful weapon for good?
Wouldn't that be nice. It is what i strive to be here, out there, that is enough for me.
Did it make you political? Wanting to change the world?
Yes but I want to change the world of trans in here, more acceptance, more bridges, put to death invalidations of gender perceptions by trans against trans.
Did it make you angry?
Extremely.
Did it change the core of who you are??
Absolutely. I was a sweet quieit boy once. The boy, however, was an almost boy, and the core was overlaid. I found my core in here.
How has being trans changed you, changed who you are?
It made me the artist that I am, and I am still under construction, it made me a warrior of words, it made me bitter, it made me joyful, it made me real, it made me the passionate loving soul that I now give myself permission to be, and nobody, ever, is going to stop Satinjoy from feeling again.My thoughts For the good of trans, if possible.
Nails out head up heart on fire, eyes wide open, living free, a very passionate non binary, unclassifiable transsexual.
Satinjoy.
Title: Re: How has being trans changed you?
Post by: Cin on September 19, 2014, 12:10:06 PM
Post by: Cin on September 19, 2014, 12:10:06 PM
I don't really know, but I've learnt so much about myself and other trans people, and I don't think I'd know so much if I weren't trans myself. Since I'm hiding, I know hard it is to hide.
Has it destroyed my mind? I don't know, honestly. For one thing, my dysphoria doesn't let me imagine my future, I just don't even see a future to be honest, as I can't see myself living like this forever. I don't think it would change much when it comes to helping other people, I know that the only person holding me back is myself.
At times I wish I weren't trans because being trans so far, involves a lot of hiding and holding back for me, as I'm not really living the life I wanted, I'm not saying I have it bad, I have wonderful friends and family, and I'm known for my soft-natured kind demeanor, it means a lot to me, but when dysphoria is at it's extremes, I look back and I see no childhood, and I feel so disconnected to my teen years, when most look back it fondly.
Has it destroyed my mind? I don't know, honestly. For one thing, my dysphoria doesn't let me imagine my future, I just don't even see a future to be honest, as I can't see myself living like this forever. I don't think it would change much when it comes to helping other people, I know that the only person holding me back is myself.
At times I wish I weren't trans because being trans so far, involves a lot of hiding and holding back for me, as I'm not really living the life I wanted, I'm not saying I have it bad, I have wonderful friends and family, and I'm known for my soft-natured kind demeanor, it means a lot to me, but when dysphoria is at it's extremes, I look back and I see no childhood, and I feel so disconnected to my teen years, when most look back it fondly.