Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: KamTheMan on September 13, 2014, 01:12:39 PM Return to Full Version

Title: I don't feel badass..
Post by: KamTheMan on September 13, 2014, 01:12:39 PM
And I feel like I have no right to complain. Passing comes so easily for me, but that's not the point. I don't feel good about myself. I feel like I'm constantly trying to overcompensate with people. Sometimes I feel like it's hard to find any support unless things are going really badly. The only thing going on with me is that life and supporting myself is way to expensive. Unless I get a second job, I won't be able to afford top surgery for years. I'm not a social butterfly so I wouldn't be able to do any fundraising successfully. And I'm not working out like I should. I don't work out because I hate my body and I hate my body because I don't work out! And I never feel energized enough to do anything. I'm going crazy. I'm just ranting. Sorry. Just ignore me.
Title: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: Brandon on September 13, 2014, 01:22:34 PM
Nah man your not the only one a lot of times I feel like I have no right to complain or even vent because to most I am really lucky but that doesn't mean that I don't still deal with stuff, That's why I rarely say much on here anymore me personally I feel excluded because I have advantages that some guys here don't have. If it helps you should find a 2nd Job my sisters works 2 Jobs and she's a female you can do it to man, I know I really can't talk because till this day there are time were I just wanna say f it and give up. As far as working out goes I also feel you on that but I'd rather be fit so when I get my chest reconstructed it will look nice.
Title: Re: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: AdamMLP on September 13, 2014, 04:49:38 PM
You're not alone, I pass pretty easily, but it doesn't make life feel any easier for me. Once you start being proactive you might find it easier to continue, in regards to both financing your transition and working out. Set small goals so it seems more obtainable, whether that be looking for second jobs, the possibility of loans/insurance, or seeing where you can cut back and put a few pennies away. You'll get there.

Quote from: Brandon on September 13, 2014, 01:22:34 PMIf it helps you should find a 2nd Job my sisters works 2 Jobs and she's a female you can do it to man, I know I really can't talk because till this day there are time were I just wanna say f it and give up.

Please, please, stop putting women down! There's no reason that a man should be more likely to be able to deal with working two jobs over a woman, or a woman is less likely to. My mother has 4 jobs, my father has only ever had 2 plus volunteering.
Title: Re: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: Brandon on September 13, 2014, 04:52:21 PM
Quote from: lxndr on September 13, 2014, 04:49:38 PM
You're not alone, I pass pretty easily, but it doesn't make life feel any easier for me. Once you start being proactive you might find it easier to continue, in regards to both financing your transition and working out. Set small goals so it seems more obtainable, whether that be looking for second jobs, the possibility of loans/insurance, or seeing where you can cut back and put a few pennies away. You'll get there.

Please, please, stop putting women down! There's no reason that a man should be more likely to be able to deal with working two jobs over a woman, or a woman is less likely to. My mother has 4 jobs, my father has only ever had 2 plus volunteering.


Whose putting women down all I said was if my sister can do it he can do it to. Chill out dude
Title: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: Silverade on September 13, 2014, 05:43:10 PM
Hey man, we're here for you. Okay?

Whenever you're feeling down, you don't need to feel guilty. Everyone here has their problems to face. Don't put yours down, honestly I doubt that anyone could complain that you have different problems. There's no reason to compare them anyway, if they bother you, then they're important too, alright?

Personally I'd be more than happy to talk to you when you're feeling down, if I could be of any help whatsoever.

We have to stick up for eachother.
Title: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 13, 2014, 05:56:14 PM
No fights in this topic or I will nuke it!

Be nice boys!! >:(
Title: Re: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: GnomeKid on September 13, 2014, 06:43:42 PM
To the OP

Thats rough.  It does suck sometimes to have "no real reason to complain" when like Brandon said just being lucky about some things in life doesn't mean we don't still have to deal with stuff.  Being trans isn't easy even after passing stops being an issue. 

On getting a second job... I agree you totally can do it.  I don't know your schedule/life, but i bet surgery would be worth the time spent. 

On the workout thing.  Just get out there and do it.  I was worried about judgement from room mates and people who may see me out running or lifting next to nothing at the school gym.  I'd rebelled against intentional physical exercise for years, so getting myself to get out running and to the gym was kind of a social hurdle too.  I do not regret it.  Nowadays I love it.  Try some weight lifting.  You'll feel a lot better about yourself.  Start slow/light and you'll work your way up until you're surprising yourself with what you can do. 

Quote from: Brandon on September 13, 2014, 04:52:21 PM

Whose putting women down all I said was if my sister can do it he can do it to. Chill out dude

It wasn't what you said it was the way you said it.   If you had said "my sisters works 2 Jobs you can do it to man" it wouldn't have been sexist.  Adding "and she's a woman" to it implies that her woman status would somehow interfere with her ability to work two jobs.  The thought that being a woman would make it harder for a person to maintain two jobs is sexist against women.  Sexism against women is "putting women down."  Thus in turn you were putting women down. 

Not trying to start or contribute to a fight.  I do, however, think it is important that you realize what it was that made your statement sexist, as by your own word that was not your intention. 
Title: Re: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: Brandon on September 13, 2014, 11:22:12 PM
Quote from: GnomeKid on September 13, 2014, 06:43:42 PM
To the OP

Thats rough.  It does suck sometimes to have "no real reason to complain" when like Brandon said just being lucky about some things in life doesn't mean we don't still have to deal with stuff.  Being trans isn't easy even after passing stops being an issue. 

On getting a second job... I agree you totally can do it.  I don't know your schedule/life, but i bet surgery would be worth the time spent. 

On the workout thing.  Just get out there and do it.  I was worried about judgement from room mates and people who may see me out running or lifting next to nothing at the school gym.  I'd rebelled against intentional physical exercise for years, so getting myself to get out running and to the gym was kind of a social hurdle too.  I do not regret it.  Nowadays I love it.  Try some weight lifting.  You'll feel a lot better about yourself.  Start slow/light and you'll work your way up until you're surprising yourself with what you can do. 

It wasn't what you said it was the way you said it.   If you had said "my sisters works 2 Jobs you can do it to man" it wouldn't have been sexist.  Adding "and she's a woman" to it implies that her woman status would somehow interfere with her ability to work two jobs.  The thought that being a woman would make it harder for a person to maintain two jobs is sexist against women.  Sexism against women is "putting women down."  Thus in turn you were putting women down. 

Not trying to start or contribute to a fight.  I do, however, think it is important that you realize what it was that made your statement sexist, as by your own word that was not your intention.


I did say my sister works 2 Jobs nothing sexist th only reason I added women in it was because he made it seem like he couldn't do it, No ones being sexist if a woman can do it a man can to and vice versa, Apparently some people just like to start stuff.
Title: Re: I don't feel badass..
Post by: mrs izzy on September 13, 2014, 11:31:34 PM
Topic locked before it gets out of hand.