Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So in a fit of hysterical facebooking, I basically set the stage for people to approach me.  I essentially said, "Leaving this Facebook behind, How would you describe me?"

The responses from friends and family were absolutely amazing and heartbreaking all at once.  Statements like:

"Awesome, smart, and fun"

"Amazing 100%"

"Dramatic"

"Kind"

"i'd say BRO"

"A true friend!"

"on a grading scale i'd say you get an A+"

"better than a friend ? (wait, that sounds awkward)"

"Kind, funny, gentle, smart, friendly. All my favorite stuff: D"

"I can only describe you as "**Last**Name** , you are you and screw it if someone can't accept that! Deactivate all you want, I know you can still text!"

"Amazing and one of the nicest people I have ever met"

"One of my bestest friends in the whole world. You're so selfless, kind hearted & hilarious! There's not one memory of my childhood where you don't come to my mind. Love you
to the moon & back!"




These responses left me both stunned, and feeling truly blessed in their own right.  To see that people loved a broken me..  I didn't think that was possible.  This is when I "set the stage" and prompted the one on one's.

My description of myself? Emotionless, Fake, Uncomfortable, a Shell, Phony, Lost....

My mom, who I was NOT prepared for quite yet, called me up and said now John M***** R******...  You better f***** tell me what is happening right now.  Right now, I'm shocked and lose all motor function in panic as my wonderful mother does not swear, nor use my middle name.

So I told her...  I just blurted it out without a plan, without structure, and without control.  She sit's on the phone for another 30-40 seconds in silence.  Awkward, deafening, and dramatic silence.  Then she just says, " IS that all???  Seriously????  I thought you were saying goodbye!!??"  Then the moment came where she asked me why I didn't think I could tell her for 32 years.  I'm sitting here absolutely stunned and have lost ALL control of the conversation at this point.  She had managed to rip it right out of me, then flip turned and basically said the only thing she can't understand is why I couldn't tell her.

Turns out, it made all the sense in the world to her.  The sudden shift from happy child at 3, to distraught confusing gender bending 4 year old.  I could see the lightbulb in her eyes through the phone over the span of 1,500 miles.  She said she loves me and that if I even keep anything from her for 32 years, I'll have hell to pay.

So after some conversation and honest to goodness smiles, she asked for a picture and the name of her daughter.  I sent these to her.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1910642_354217804747252_740684075643881326_n.jpg?oh=eec145f43a56b6ea7edbd874881c0079&oe=548BE19C&__gda__=1422545309_b4efd8a9bd793412f89bbb17d7b290d8)

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10394466_353834474785585_4074882209963637810_n.jpg?oh=b72d30725594c134d5a55f78c698cbf6&oe=54858FAC&__gda__=1417958181_eaeb966e2889186811726615c6a5a837)


And this was her response.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10616426_354217791413920_280099323447330038_n.jpg?oh=0ad4bc0b5f1ccd43067a61485942ea1a&oe=549EB88F&__gda__=1418306289_3e2524d36f0cae17d2ec7a2b220d9f03)




Other than a few key comments, the following conversations with my sister, cousins, and best friends from back home, the storyline is almost identical.  I have had such overwhelming support in the last 48 hours that I can't hardly contain myself.  I've spent 32 years knowing what to expect, and 48 hours having all of my expectations blown away.  I don't think I could be any more blessed right now.  I don't know what else to say but



Thank you Susans.  Thank you to all you wonderful guys and girls who make this such a wonderful support system.  I don't think I would have made it 32 years without you.

Yes you kicked fear right in the butt.

Take life in your arms and squeeze it as hard as you can.

Hugs

Sweetie you have to warn us to get a box of tissue's before stuff like this! :'( :'( :'(

I can barely see to respond because of the tears of happiness right now.  :'( :) :'( :) :)

I am so, so happy for you and know your life just got kicked into "live like there is no tomorrow" mode. ^-^

congratulatiions

That was a great turn of events in several ways. 
I'd definitely hook my mom up with some flowers if I were you.  She's a sweetheart.

Congratulations, Heather!  I know what it's like.  That's the kind of support I got when I came out.  Totally unexpected, unbelievable, but it certainly makes you feel good when it happens.  (Almost makes you want to transition back so you can enjoy it again.  ;D)  Best of luck to you!

Glad everything went well  :D

You got the friends saying your awesome, and your mom accepting you at the same time!  Awesome!

When I first started coming out, I worked at a car parts store - had been there seven years.  I expected rejection.  Because I was hiding myself, I didn't have very many friends outside of my work.  I ended up telling one person, who took me by the hand (figuratively) and helped me tell everyone else within a few weeks... not one rejection.  Lots of hugs.  So much support.  All the not work friends I told after that just kind of went, "Oh... well, that makes sense."  (that is a direct quote for one of them)

I was totally floored.  I spent that long imagining the consequences of rejection, only to find out I was full of poo and I should have given them all more credit.  So I have some idea of that feeling... all those preconceptions falling away like wind clearing smoke out of a meadow.

I'm so happy for you!   :D

It is such an amazing landmark in my life.  All this time, I thought I would lose everyone and everything I ever loved.  I was prepared for it and ready for it, and then the unthinkable happened and they became even closer because of it.  My best friend just gained a sister, her husband, the same. They have always been my "other family" and they sure showed it... Damnit I'm crying again.  I just never in the world thought that someone could really care about me knowing ME

Now I am crying again!!! :'( I am so glad you are in a happy place full of acceptance.

PS-My Mom gets onto me for wearing things she thinks is too sexy. Never in my life did I think I would ever hear that!  :laugh: :laugh:

How wonderfully amazing!

Sam x

Amazing and wonderful, Heather! Congratulations! So many do lose so much when we transition. You tell your friends and family how special, how remarkable, how caring they truly are. Make sure they know it and that they know you appreciate it! :)

I'm happy and pleased for you honey, these are the moments that makes it all worth it for all of us, because each of your sisters and brothers here can vicariously enter into and enjoy your victory along with you, so thanks for sharing it so beautifully with us all!

Now that was a very cool read, you just charged the dickins into my batteries.  Thank you very very much !!! :icon_joy:  Dani

Cool, way cool. Love the email from your mom. Maybe both of you can visit a beauty salon together sometime.

I am so happy for you, congratulations.

People often love and care about us more than we're willing to believe or concede because often, sadly, the person who likes us the least is ourselves. I'm so glad things went well for you. Hugs!

Quote from: Ms Grace on September 15, 2014, 09:34:59 PM
People often love and care about us more than we're willing to believe or concede because often, sadly, the person who likes us the least is ourselves.

Oh my how that resonates as wisdom!  Unfortunately I often find that I am unable to truly accept the perspective of others because it clashes with my own negative one :(

sam x

Congratulations Heather it is so good to hear the happy stories once in a while thank you for sharing your story my coming out story is very much the same I was very much surprised at how much support I had from my family, I don't really have many friends but the ones that I do have are supportive and have defended me at times I feel so blessed to have these ppl in my life and also the support that I have  on here I wouldn't be the same person without you girls xx

HeatherR,
I am a regular reader of this forum and I am so happy for you.
Your photos show a beautiful lady and an inner beauty that shines through as well.

I wish you well and it is wonderful to see how you are managing your own personal journey and giving inspiration to all.

Louise

This is Lisa,

I've visited a lot, but never commented. As a young woman, after SRS and hormones, etc...I adore being female, but I am kinda stealth. Good for you, your Mom, family and everyone you will enlighten, but just being YOU.

Lisa

Congratulations, Heather! I'm so proud of you! I'm glad your mom was so understanding and accepting about it - you're lucky to have such a great mom! Myself, having a mother who is 100% dismissive of everything (I'm always wrong, all that jazz), and I can honestly say that I'm in awe, and jealous! No worries though, hah  :D
Even so, I'm very happy for you! It's wonderful to have such a good outcome to such a thing; it's refreshing, that's for sure! Thanks for sharing this with us, Heather! It's heart-warming to see happy news like this. ♥