Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: 2fish on September 21, 2014, 05:28:58 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Is my letter too long?
Post by: 2fish on September 21, 2014, 05:28:58 PM
Post by: 2fish on September 21, 2014, 05:28:58 PM
Okay, so I managed to write up my coming out letter and it's 2 pages long and the font is 11. My mother has poor vision and refuses to wear glasses. This means it's probably gonna be like 5 pages long. lol Would this be too long?
* Just increased the font and its actually 3 pages long.
* Just increased the font and its actually 3 pages long.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 21, 2014, 06:30:38 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 21, 2014, 06:30:38 PM
Hard to tell without reading it. If it is concise and to the point I think it would work. :)
Beside, she will probably go blank after the "I am transgendered" part anyway. ;)
Beside, she will probably go blank after the "I am transgendered" part anyway. ;)
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: HumanBeing on September 21, 2014, 06:33:34 PM
Post by: HumanBeing on September 21, 2014, 06:33:34 PM
I personally wouldn't say so, no. I thought mine was 'too long' at 2 pages but then realised that taking words out would be useless. There is no point in having a short letter if it makes the reader none the wiser and doesn't get all your points across, right? So if you are happy with the content I say go for it!
Most importantly, good luck :)
Most importantly, good luck :)
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: BunnyBee on September 21, 2014, 06:53:13 PM
Post by: BunnyBee on September 21, 2014, 06:53:13 PM
My experience was the shorter I kept things, the better it went. It's natural to want to cover all bases up front, but I find it just goes smoother to let the nitty gritty details come out in the questions they ask afterward. That way you aren't explaining things they already know or don't care about, for one thing. Letting them shape the tone and tenor of the conversation allows for things to go in unexpected directions, sometimes pleasantly so, and kind of lets the conversation be more tailored to whomever you're coming out to.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: immortal gypsy on September 21, 2014, 08:55:29 PM
Post by: immortal gypsy on September 21, 2014, 08:55:29 PM
If you are talking about style and font, then no. There is no point trying to conserve paper if the person you are going to give the letter to will not be able to read it.
For the letter itself. Well it depends, some people can handle masive info dumps others need thespoon feed treatment. Or they could just go blank when the hear/read I am transgendered. You know your mother so you would be best to judge how little or how much to put in the letter.
For the letter itself. Well it depends, some people can handle masive info dumps others need thespoon feed treatment. Or they could just go blank when the hear/read I am transgendered. You know your mother so you would be best to judge how little or how much to put in the letter.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: Emily1996 on September 21, 2014, 11:21:08 PM
Post by: Emily1996 on September 21, 2014, 11:21:08 PM
I wrote a letter but they don't work with ignorant people. No matter how long.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: 2fish on September 22, 2014, 12:18:04 AM
Post by: 2fish on September 22, 2014, 12:18:04 AM
Thank you everyone. I'll post up my letter in another thread. Maybe. I'm still working on it.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: Missy~rmdlm on September 22, 2014, 02:28:23 AM
Post by: Missy~rmdlm on September 22, 2014, 02:28:23 AM
It's longer than mine was back in the day. My goal in writing goal is to be concise, without being terse. You'll note my typical post is quite short. My letters (37 of them) consisted on a intro/bonding paragraph, a description of what was going to happen ahead, a brief reference to my medical care, and a closing paragraph.
They were all mailed at once. No one in the family had "special" info.
They were all mailed at once. No one in the family had "special" info.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: Lostkitten on September 23, 2014, 09:15:12 AM
Post by: Lostkitten on September 23, 2014, 09:15:12 AM
Short is better in my opinion. People want to know what they are reading it for and often read it a fastened pace. Then they gotten to the point where you mention you are transgender and the rest won't be read so much either. Unless you keep it very short and interesting to read.
Yup! It is pretty sad you need to make something interesting to read even when it is about your emotions because just as how Emily says. Doesn't matter how long (or what kind of letter) it won't work on ignorant people. And you never know how someone will respond beforehand.
Yup! It is pretty sad you need to make something interesting to read even when it is about your emotions because just as how Emily says. Doesn't matter how long (or what kind of letter) it won't work on ignorant people. And you never know how someone will respond beforehand.
Title: Re: Is my letter too long?
Post by: OlderTG on September 25, 2014, 10:25:56 AM
Post by: OlderTG on September 25, 2014, 10:25:56 AM
On the one hand, shorter the better is the best advice. Especially if this is the introductory information. The comments about people not ready, not wanting to read or emotionally unable to read all that you've written are going to be true of many.
On the other hand, I had to chuckle when I saw the heading of this thread :D I just finished what is the equivalent of Gone With the Wind or War and Peace. The letter that I've written is for my three adult children and will be given to them AFTER I've spoken with them. It encompasses a long background of my childhood, what made me how I've been, why my two marriages have been difficult at best - with the huge exception of my children, and hence why it is only a month ago that I actually realized I'm transgender.
At a full 5 pages (12 pt), it will hopefully serve to fill in for all that's lost, not heard, misheard, not explained clearly or not at all when I talk with them either in person or perhaps by FaceTime (to compensate for communicating between Northeast US and the deep south). Even at that, I probably ought at least divide it into chapters with headings so they can ignore what they want - any or all.
I'm NOT recommending this for anyone - certainly not the length! But I feel I need to explain some of the stuff that has hidden my identity from me all my life. If I weren't so darned old, it wouldn't have taken that many pages!! ;)
Still, I'll edit...and hopefully not add more!
And back to the original message... short is best.
On the other hand, I had to chuckle when I saw the heading of this thread :D I just finished what is the equivalent of Gone With the Wind or War and Peace. The letter that I've written is for my three adult children and will be given to them AFTER I've spoken with them. It encompasses a long background of my childhood, what made me how I've been, why my two marriages have been difficult at best - with the huge exception of my children, and hence why it is only a month ago that I actually realized I'm transgender.
At a full 5 pages (12 pt), it will hopefully serve to fill in for all that's lost, not heard, misheard, not explained clearly or not at all when I talk with them either in person or perhaps by FaceTime (to compensate for communicating between Northeast US and the deep south). Even at that, I probably ought at least divide it into chapters with headings so they can ignore what they want - any or all.
I'm NOT recommending this for anyone - certainly not the length! But I feel I need to explain some of the stuff that has hidden my identity from me all my life. If I weren't so darned old, it wouldn't have taken that many pages!! ;)
Still, I'll edit...and hopefully not add more!
And back to the original message... short is best.