Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Natalia on September 21, 2014, 06:01:40 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Natalia on September 21, 2014, 06:01:40 PM
Post by: Natalia on September 21, 2014, 06:01:40 PM
Last Friday I went to my therapist, as I do twice a month.
I told her I was already quite recovered of my FFS (14 days post-op), but I was still too fearful of going full time. I was afraid of people clocking me at the streets and about my grandfather, who was still not talking openly about my transition.
I was still dressing with unisex clothes and people were calling me "lady" sometimes, but that was not happening as often as I wished. Being called "sir" while I was trying to present as a girl was making me feel bad...
Then she told me that I could not want people to call me "lady" all the time if I was wearing unisex clothes. Girls wear girl's clothes!
And I decided to take this major step right away.
On my way home I stepped at a store and asked the vendor for "feminine t-shirts". She showed me the ladies section and I asked if I could try some. She answered me "sure, ma'am. This way" =D
I bought some and went home wearing one. I was quite happy, but still, I was driving and so I was not really presenting as female in public as I was inside my car =P
When I got home I asked if my grandmother could help me to buy some clothes...and we went shopping! I told her to not forget to call me with the right pronouns (she is always calling me by my male name, but she is really trying hard to call me with the right pronouns).
I wore my new shirt and put on a padded bra to help giving me more breasts (mine are too small). It was the first time I was presenting as a female in a public place (a local shopping center full of people) and with my grandmother at my side!
It was wonderful. I bought some clothes, t-shirts, pants and I was being called "lady" all the time (although one vendor called me "sir"...I wanted to kill her with my eyes! =().
Then I decided to have my ears pierced and bought a pretty pair of earrings!
Everyone was treating me as the girl I am! I was radiant!
But I still had to face my grandfather....when I got home my grandfather didn't make any comment about my feminine clothes and about the fact I had breasts. I told him I had my ears pierced and he wanted to see my earrings and he liked them! I was quite impressed! That was unexpected! =O
So, since Friday I have been full time! And I don't want to go back to "male mode" ever again! It's been so wonderful I was even crying of joy! I am being accepted by my family, I am being myself all the time and wearing the clothes I always wanted!
Since that day I already left my house a few times and people were calling me "lady" all the time. I didn't notice too many strange looks, so perhaps I am really passing -) Bought some make-up, went to the bakery, drugstore, no incidents until now!
So I am really happy! I am approaching one year since I started my transition and taking hormones, but this step was the hardest I had to take until now!
=D
Well, it was not the final step, as I still need to change my documents and I want to have SRS soon...but it was the biggest step of all my transition!
And I want to thank each one of you for helping me all this time, when I came here to cry about my life! Thank you all, if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't be here right now!
I told her I was already quite recovered of my FFS (14 days post-op), but I was still too fearful of going full time. I was afraid of people clocking me at the streets and about my grandfather, who was still not talking openly about my transition.
I was still dressing with unisex clothes and people were calling me "lady" sometimes, but that was not happening as often as I wished. Being called "sir" while I was trying to present as a girl was making me feel bad...
Then she told me that I could not want people to call me "lady" all the time if I was wearing unisex clothes. Girls wear girl's clothes!
And I decided to take this major step right away.
On my way home I stepped at a store and asked the vendor for "feminine t-shirts". She showed me the ladies section and I asked if I could try some. She answered me "sure, ma'am. This way" =D
I bought some and went home wearing one. I was quite happy, but still, I was driving and so I was not really presenting as female in public as I was inside my car =P
When I got home I asked if my grandmother could help me to buy some clothes...and we went shopping! I told her to not forget to call me with the right pronouns (she is always calling me by my male name, but she is really trying hard to call me with the right pronouns).
I wore my new shirt and put on a padded bra to help giving me more breasts (mine are too small). It was the first time I was presenting as a female in a public place (a local shopping center full of people) and with my grandmother at my side!
It was wonderful. I bought some clothes, t-shirts, pants and I was being called "lady" all the time (although one vendor called me "sir"...I wanted to kill her with my eyes! =().
Then I decided to have my ears pierced and bought a pretty pair of earrings!
Everyone was treating me as the girl I am! I was radiant!
But I still had to face my grandfather....when I got home my grandfather didn't make any comment about my feminine clothes and about the fact I had breasts. I told him I had my ears pierced and he wanted to see my earrings and he liked them! I was quite impressed! That was unexpected! =O
So, since Friday I have been full time! And I don't want to go back to "male mode" ever again! It's been so wonderful I was even crying of joy! I am being accepted by my family, I am being myself all the time and wearing the clothes I always wanted!
Since that day I already left my house a few times and people were calling me "lady" all the time. I didn't notice too many strange looks, so perhaps I am really passing -) Bought some make-up, went to the bakery, drugstore, no incidents until now!
So I am really happy! I am approaching one year since I started my transition and taking hormones, but this step was the hardest I had to take until now!
=D
Well, it was not the final step, as I still need to change my documents and I want to have SRS soon...but it was the biggest step of all my transition!
And I want to thank each one of you for helping me all this time, when I came here to cry about my life! Thank you all, if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't be here right now!
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: missymay on September 21, 2014, 07:09:23 PM
Post by: missymay on September 21, 2014, 07:09:23 PM
You took a leap of faith, and now, there's no stopping you! I'm very excited and happy for you, Natalia. :)
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Monica Jean on September 21, 2014, 08:15:06 PM
Post by: Monica Jean on September 21, 2014, 08:15:06 PM
Great to hear you passed by this milestone of your grandfather in your life. Go and live your life as the woman you are. Don't look back. Be yourself.
There, you will be happiest.
You know this, now continue to do it :)
There, you will be happiest.
You know this, now continue to do it :)
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Jill F on September 21, 2014, 08:19:01 PM
Post by: Jill F on September 21, 2014, 08:19:01 PM
Congrats!!! I think it may be time for a wardrobe purge. ;D
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: stephaniec on September 21, 2014, 08:32:03 PM
Post by: stephaniec on September 21, 2014, 08:32:03 PM
congrats
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Jamiep on September 21, 2014, 09:59:40 PM
Post by: Jamiep on September 21, 2014, 09:59:40 PM
Congratulations on everything. Gramps may be showing signs of changing his attitude. You should start buying some dresses, blouses and skirts. Take notice of what the ladies are wearing in fashions for your age group. I got my ears pierced about 8 years ago, doesn't hurt & pleased you did that. Earrings are so colorful & designs can really bring your femme look together. Brave of you to get the ffs done, hope the pain goes away quickly & you heal soon. Courage got you out the door as the real you. No going back now, you are full time. Have a Beautiful life! Stay safe.
Hugs
Jamie
Hugs
Jamie
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: EllieM on September 21, 2014, 10:06:32 PM
Post by: EllieM on September 21, 2014, 10:06:32 PM
wow Natalia!
that is SO exciting! I am really happy for you :)
-ellie
that is SO exciting! I am really happy for you :)
-ellie
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: FalseHybridPrincess on September 21, 2014, 11:11:20 PM
Post by: FalseHybridPrincess on September 21, 2014, 11:11:20 PM
Awesome :)
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Damara on September 22, 2014, 12:49:11 AM
Post by: Damara on September 22, 2014, 12:49:11 AM
Yay!!!! That's so fabulous! Hugs!
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: CindyCD on September 22, 2014, 01:04:01 AM
Post by: CindyCD on September 22, 2014, 01:04:01 AM
That's freakin' AWESOME !! ;D
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: LizMarie on September 22, 2014, 02:12:30 AM
Post by: LizMarie on September 22, 2014, 02:12:30 AM
That's great and the affirmations do help, don't they? :)
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Delsorou on September 22, 2014, 02:56:46 AM
Post by: Delsorou on September 22, 2014, 02:56:46 AM
Quote from: Natalia on September 21, 2014, 06:01:40 PMSo, since Friday I have been full time! And I don't want to go back to "male mode" ever again! It's been so wonderful I was even crying of joy! I am being accepted by my family, I am being myself all the time and wearing the clothes I always wanted!
This is what happened with me... I thought I did not have a snowball's chance in hell of passing. Those who knew at the time said otherwise, and I eventually had the courage to go out... I was met with 95% awesome, and the dominoes started to fall. I reached a point where I just... could not even conceive of going back.
Of course, for me it took about two months. But I didn't look as good as you do. (Still don't! I would kill for FFS) :)
You look great, girl! Work it!
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: tuuliu on September 22, 2014, 03:56:05 AM
Post by: tuuliu on September 22, 2014, 03:56:05 AM
Your story made me smile :) brave!
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: JourneyingSam on September 22, 2014, 04:42:07 AM
Post by: JourneyingSam on September 22, 2014, 04:42:07 AM
Natalia,
Your news is so wonderful! To grab the courage to take that step and to feel how "right" it can be ... such power and freedom!
I'm so pleased for you!!!
Sam x
Your news is so wonderful! To grab the courage to take that step and to feel how "right" it can be ... such power and freedom!
I'm so pleased for you!!!
Sam x
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Ms Grace on September 22, 2014, 04:58:44 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on September 22, 2014, 04:58:44 AM
Quote from: Natalia on September 21, 2014, 06:01:40 PM
Then she told me that I could not want people to call me "lady" all the time if I was wearing unisex clothes. Girls wear girl's clothes!
This is pretty true, if people have any doubt about a person's gender they will often use clothing as a guide. Yes, women wear gender neutral clothing but often the fit, style, colour, patterns, etc send a gender signal. I wish I'd realised this when I tried to transition the first time - I was always misgendered wearing jeans but of course I was, because I wearing men's jeans!
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Allyda on September 22, 2014, 10:58:56 PM
Post by: Allyda on September 22, 2014, 10:58:56 PM
Congratulations Natalia! :icon_bunch: I have always had confidence in you. But you've exceeded all of your difficulties overcoming them in spades! I wish you my best in all your future endeavors as the woman you've always been. It's so so awesome too that your family has come around! Enjoy being you girl, you deserve it! ;) :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance:
Ally :icon_flower:
Ally :icon_flower:
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Natalia on September 25, 2014, 02:03:23 PM
Post by: Natalia on September 25, 2014, 02:03:23 PM
Thanks everyone =D
Now I am approaching one week full time and it's been wonderful!
I threw away all my male clothes (almost, I still need to act male sometimes) and I went shopping! I spent a whole afternoon trying shoes and clothes and now I have a basic set of clothes that's enough for now...If I had more money I would have bought a lot more clothes!
I was worried because I wanted to try the clothes, and I didn't know if I would be treated as a woman or as a man...but I was conducted to the feminine...err what's the word...I don't know the right english name for it...the place where you try the clothes before buying them... =)
I went to the subway and no one cared about me! I was just another girl doing her stuff!
Here's some pics that shows how happy I am: =D
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/10608558_1552819811604144_1412273813134247772_o.jpg)(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t31.0-8/1412244_1552819908270801_8452915001778353498_o.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/t31.0-8/10703821_1552750784944380_6084831037678766173_o.jpg)(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1527134_1552743348278457_2031952704795232471_n.jpg?oh=dab9294cb706f328594264ef9bac7263&oe=54BB59D9&__gda__=1418782305_72d635d2a32c0732cc9aa78fb4286f6f)
Sometimes I still feel too masculine...I look and see my old face...but lucky me that doenst' happens all the time.
Now I am approaching one week full time and it's been wonderful!
I threw away all my male clothes (almost, I still need to act male sometimes) and I went shopping! I spent a whole afternoon trying shoes and clothes and now I have a basic set of clothes that's enough for now...If I had more money I would have bought a lot more clothes!
I was worried because I wanted to try the clothes, and I didn't know if I would be treated as a woman or as a man...but I was conducted to the feminine...err what's the word...I don't know the right english name for it...the place where you try the clothes before buying them... =)
I went to the subway and no one cared about me! I was just another girl doing her stuff!
Here's some pics that shows how happy I am: =D
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/10608558_1552819811604144_1412273813134247772_o.jpg)(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t31.0-8/1412244_1552819908270801_8452915001778353498_o.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/t31.0-8/10703821_1552750784944380_6084831037678766173_o.jpg)(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1527134_1552743348278457_2031952704795232471_n.jpg?oh=dab9294cb706f328594264ef9bac7263&oe=54BB59D9&__gda__=1418782305_72d635d2a32c0732cc9aa78fb4286f6f)
Sometimes I still feel too masculine...I look and see my old face...but lucky me that doenst' happens all the time.
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Emily.T on September 25, 2014, 04:14:12 PM
Post by: Emily.T on September 25, 2014, 04:14:12 PM
Congrats on your bold steps into the world you will do fine
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Allyda on September 25, 2014, 05:13:44 PM
Post by: Allyda on September 25, 2014, 05:13:44 PM
Quote from: Natalia on September 25, 2014, 02:03:23 PMVery very good to hear Natalia!. The term your looking for is "Fitting Rooms." You look great by the way and will look very much better once you've completely healed. I see all girl with no trace of masculinity. Cute kitty too! :D
Thanks everyone =D
Now I am approaching one week full time and it's been wonderful!
I threw away all my male clothes (almost, I still need to act male sometimes) and I went shopping! I spent a whole afternoon trying shoes and clothes and now I have a basic set of clothes that's enough for now...If I had more money I would have bought a lot more clothes!
I was worried because I wanted to try the clothes, and I didn't know if I would be treated as a woman or as a man...but I was conducted to the feminine...err what's the word...I don't know the right english name for it...the place where you try the clothes before buying them... =)
I went to the subway and no one cared about me! I was just another girl doing her stuff!
Here's some pics that shows how happy I am: =D
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/10608558_1552819811604144_1412273813134247772_o.jpg)(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t31.0-8/1412244_1552819908270801_8452915001778353498_o.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/t31.0-8/10703821_1552750784944380_6084831037678766173_o.jpg)(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1527134_1552743348278457_2031952704795232471_n.jpg?oh=dab9294cb706f328594264ef9bac7263&oe=54BB59D9&__gda__=1418782305_72d635d2a32c0732cc9aa78fb4286f6f)
Sometimes I still feel too masculine...I look and see my old face...but lucky me that doenst' happens all the time.
Ally ;)
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Emily1996 on September 25, 2014, 06:49:14 PM
Post by: Emily1996 on September 25, 2014, 06:49:14 PM
I had a hard time recognizing you, you look wonderful girl, and I think that you can't pass as a man anymore. Good luck on the rest of your transition, I wish I could go full time too.
Title: Re: I took the biggest step of my transition!
Post by: Kimberley Beauregard on September 26, 2014, 02:55:22 AM
Post by: Kimberley Beauregard on September 26, 2014, 02:55:22 AM
Natalia, I'm every so happy for you. You look wonderful and very feminine.