Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I live in a college town , suburb of Chicago. very accepting of diversity. I love it, as I progress in transition nothing more than curious looks every so often. How is your environment for transitioning.

The neighbors that I know and have interactions with have been very supportive otherwise the neighborhood pretty much keeps to themselves. It's fairly quiet neighborhood except for the school bell going off during the day.
Mariah

So far the neighbors haven't come to my door with torches and pitchforks and tried to run me out of town, so I'd say mine's probably OK.
But seriously, LA definitely isn't the most trans-unfriendly place to be.  There are places I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't go there either even if I was a cishetdudebro with a bulletproof vest.

Mine is good. Some people are not thrilled, but have the decency to let me be in peace. Kind of a mutual respect thingy. No one has been hostile or derogatory and that is saying a LOT for a town where it closes down for Friday Night High School Football. I have been treated with respect even by those who have opposing views.  :)

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on September 24, 2014, 08:42:31 PM
Mine is good. Some people are not thrilled, but have the decency to let me be in peace. Kind of a mutual respect thingy. No one has been hostile or derogatory and that is saying a LOT for a town where it closes down for Friday Night High School Football. I have been treated with respect even by those who have opposing views.  :)

good to hear

Not sure. I live in NJ but I live out in the countryside. Most people around here mind their own business. I do work in NYC and go there daily though.

We've lived in this house for 1 1/2 years, and don't even know the first names of our next door neighbors, nor them us..?

Im not trans binary, but I don't think anyone in me neighborhood would look twice, or pay any attention..??

Northern NJ (Southern Bergen County that's highly populated) and no one batted an eye when I transitioned. When I came out to my downstairs neighbor, she was like: "Transgender, ohh like Chaz Bono, yeah me and the kids think he's great." My neighbor next door is a school teacher and when I came out to her she told me her best friend has a transgender son. Plus everyone here in NJ pretty much minds there own business.

I'm not involved in my local community at all so I don't have a clear idea but from the reactions I had prehrt, not very trans friendly at least in the area, not sure about my neighborhood. I don't really know any of my neighbors and tons of people have moved in and out and now that I pass, I wouldn't know if they're trans friendly unless I come out to them in a conversation.

I live in a small college town, there is nothing here besides the college and a big named store, I even work in retail and no one has said anything mean to me. Which is strange because you wouldnt think Ohio would be that accepting. I have gotten looks from some of my co workers and some people have laughted at my voice, besides that and the fact that my work thought it would be a good idea to out me to everyone, and then go and tell all the new hires about me to... it hasnt been to bad.

Seattle area is great if you are close to Seattle.  I'm a bit farther out and the pharmacist had never seen a guy come in for estrogen before.  He was a bit wigged out but so far that's been the worst of it here. 

So far, I don't think I'm passing enough to even be noticed, so I don't know. I've gotten nothing weird. One of my neighbors is on my Facebook (where I'm out) and is cool beans.

Well not everybody is going to have good news but I guess I can make do until I move to San Francisco or Seattle lol. Well I have been living in Phoenix for the last twenty something years and it's not a great place to live unless the only thing you take into account is cost of living. My neighborhood has been heading downhill for years, and I can only imagine what your average citizen here thinks of transgendered people. I work about 20 miles away at the major airport and the people there seem about as friendly. They have no clue as to my gender identity but when "trannies" came up and I asked them if they would rather wake up next to one or with a Mike Tyson tattoo on their face, they all chose the tattoo. I'm kinda drunk because today sucked and will be completely honest here. I HATE being trans. I wish the world were both completely accepting and people could choose which gender is appropriate for them (here, there, or anywhere in between). I constantly think about how I hate myself  for being sterile as the gender that I identify as.

Tell me to get help if you want, but I can't even have children - ever. And it really just kills me to know that it will be held against me forever.

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on September 24, 2014, 11:34:00 PM
Northern NJ (Southern Bergen County that's highly populated) and no one batted an eye when I transitioned. When I came out to my downstairs neighbor, she was like: "Transgender, ohh like Chaz Bono, yeah me and the kids think he's great." My neighbor next door is a school teacher and when I came out to her she told me her best friend has a transgender son. Plus everyone here in NJ pretty much minds there own business.

NJ is a big place. Once you get west of 287 things get a little different. I'm not sure how things would go over in my town. I live in sussex county. Our neighbors called the town when we moved in because they thought that we were terrorists. No joke. It's beautiful up here and I love it but sometimes people can be a bit intolerant. However that's being diluted due to transplants (such as me) so there is hope. But I don't want to stay here long term.

I've lived in this building practically since infancy and the neighbors knew me since then. How they will take my transition remains to be seen but I'll be really careful when changes get noticeable.

I am blessed as it is pretty good!

I live in North Surrey in the UK (About 14 miles west south west of London).

I'm not in stealth as too many folks know me from "before" (I've lived in this town for 14 years) and I can't remember ever being harassed (Tho there is another trans girl in town who was one challenged for using the ladies room and the local supermarket ... got into the local news and all :( )
I work as an advisor at the town's Citizen Advice Centre (3 years now) and thus meet a lot of different folks from the area ... never had an issue ... sometimes not sure if they realise or not.

Sam x

So far everything has been okay, but I'm still not full time.  From what I experience it could be better and it could be worse.  We'll see as I go on.  I live somewhere in NY if that helps.

Much more than most people can imagine including me... Ive had ZERO problems so far in Rural Western South Dakota =)  For such an allegedly "conservative" place I think most would be surprised at what really goes on around here :o ;D

This is exactly what surprises me about my area is that it so conservative that they are probably going to send someone from the tea party to congress this time. Yet, they have been completely supportive.

Quote from: Eva on September 25, 2014, 09:35:56 AM
Much more than most people can imagine including me... Ive had ZERO problems so far in Rural Western South Dakota =)  For such an allegedly "conservative" place I think most would be surprised at what really goes on around here :o ;D

None of my neighbors have commented. Don't know if any of them have clocked me or not. Occasionally if I go out without my wig and use a hat to cover my thinning hair, I'll get scowls from strangers on the street who clock me. No one has ever harassed me.

I recently moved to Seattle for a few reasons.  But one was definitely the thought that there aren't many better places in the world to transition.

I love my neighbourhood, the representative for my neighbourhood is Cheri DiNovo which got Toby's Act through in Ontario providing protection for the trans community from discrimination, I can pretty much go to any bar and meet acceptance and I know 2 other trans girls that live in my vicinity.

By design, I just moved into a well know, very gay part of town. For some reason, I thought each and every one of my neighbors would be LGBT.  ;D  There are gay clubs all over the place, and it seems pretty friendly. This is the place I am finally going full time.

I live in a western suburb of Toronto in Mississauga since 1991 (I was born in Toronto living in various areas of the city). My burb is a big sprawling area, many housing communities, so homes for families. Because it is family oriented my sense is that there could be an uncomfortableness with trans people. I have been out and about in the south west end a lot with no problems or attitude, but I do get a questionable look sometimes. I walk in parks & mostly been friendly hello's in passing or smiles. One bar that I used to go to for a while, had a mixed attitude when I went enfemme one Halloween night & thought it was all wrong. some ladies had me join them in a group pic & thought it was brave of me & they were okay, I knew them a little bit. I talked to the manager about  the clientele & if I wanted to come enfemme again, he said I would be taking my chances & would have to find my way of dealing with a rude person with an attitude. I thanked him for his opinion & never went there again. A few doors away a classier restaurant/bar known for it's good food & service, my wife & I have been going there on weekends for 3 1/2 years. It really is community, we have made many friends & know management & most of the staff. My wife will not go with me if I want to go girly. About 4 times last year I have been there female only late on Friday afternoons before any of our friends arrive. Then I go home, change, pick my wife up from the commuter train station & go back in the evening. I explained my story briefly to some of the female service staff & they were unbelievably accepting. One of the gals said I understand your trans issue & I have your back. Wonderful to have that support. So far I feel that is my safe place if I occasionally want to drop in for a drink. I just blended in among the patrons, no one has bothered me. I haven't been to see my friends in the lgbt village of Church St. in Toronto in about 1 1/2 years. I had been going on weekends when I could since 2001 to last year, known my friends of rainbow that long. Miss them & should try to get there again some time.

@Antonia, I used to live on High Park Ave. just north of the Bloor subway stn., from 1970 to 1991. Loved the area. You have a Great Lady in Cheri DiNovo as a government rep. Good to know the area hopefully tolerant. Fortunately Toronto has a liberal media that is helpful in bring peoples stories forward to help educate & open peoples minds to gender diversity. A lot of people in my area work in Toronto & read the papers, so I hope that has transcended to change peoples attitudes in my area.
Sorry, I ran on.
Cheers
Jamie

Apparently, Nottingham is quite t-friendly.  I attend a Chameleons group there so it would be more convenient to live there (and I can still get to a another Chameleons group in the East Midlands with public transport and without a huge amount of trouble).  I can't wait, I just need to save up some emergency money first.

When I came out, privately - just being me, my neighbour did ask what was going on, I told her, she was very accepting and next day another neighbour came to my door with a bunch of flowers. Later on I had to change a car tyre, I realised I could no longer lift a wheel or use a jack, the next door neighbour men came around and changed the tyre for me.

For me, being accepted is accepting others, they may be cis but I accept and try to understand their point of view.

It may sound silly, but unless I can accept others why should they accept me?

Cindy

I'm sad to hear Mississauga is like that, I've been out dancing and dining in Oakville quite a few times and never had any issues.

High Park/Junction area is really nice and I love it here, I didn't know just how trans friendly is was when I moved here but I loved the vibe and atmosphere, in any case you are always welcome to join us for Girls Nigh out over in Oakville if you want to meet some more trans girls, we meet every two weeks at the Bouncing Bomb which is about as trans friendly as you can get :)

- Antonia

Quote from: Jamiep on September 25, 2014, 11:31:22 PM
@Antonia, I used to live on High Park Ave. just north of the Bloor subway stn., from 1970 to 1991. Loved the area. You have a Great Lady in Cheri DiNovo as a government rep. Good to know the area hopefully tolerant. Fortunately Toronto has a liberal media that is helpful in bring peoples stories forward to help educate & open peoples minds to gender diversity. A lot of people in my area work in Toronto & read the papers, so I hope that has transcended to change peoples attitudes in my area.
Sorry, I ran on.
Cheers
Jamie

all these nice stories

Quote from: suzanne on September 26, 2014, 04:02:08 AM
Last week three neighbours from further down the street had heard about my transitioning and out of the blue they stood in front of my door inviting me to come over for a drink, they want to know all about it and told me this is great and they will be supporting me.
One of them (the biggest "harley" dude in the street) even got a tear in his eye during our talk! That's one I will never forget.  :)
It was really very beautifull and it made me so happy I smiled about it all week.

What a fantastic story!  Thank you for sharing that.

I've always thought that Holland seems like a really great place to live.

Quote from: Cindy on September 26, 2014, 05:04:05 AM
For me, being accepted is accepting others, they may be cis but I accept and try to understand their point of view.

It may sound silly, but unless I can accept others why should they accept me?

I think that makes a lot of sense.  Because of the difficulties trans people used to have (and still do sometimes), we often have an almost combative attitude toward society.  And if not combative, we're definitely evasive.  But if we're normal, accepting people, then society will be much more likely to accept us.

About as intolerant, ignorant, bigoted and hateful as it's possible to get. People in my little corner of the world hate you if the grass in your garden is an inch too long. Anyone who is perceived as different has no chance. None.

I sometimes think that were Beelzebub himself to take a stroll through my neighbourhood, he would be packing pepper spray and/or a taser.

Well that sounds unpleasant.  :(

I moved away from a similar situation.  Have you considered that?

I live in a very small town in Ireland, and my particular neighbourhood is fine.  No children here, and for the most part people keep to themselves.  The few people I do see are fine.

The most interesting one was my next-door neighbour--a 60ish woman living on her own.  The first few times I ran into her after I came out, I couldn't read the look on her face: disapproval, hostility, what?  She never said a word to me, but she didn't look happy.  Eventually I decided she was simply thoroughly baffled.  Probably she'd never met a transperson face-to-face, and there's no telling what she'd heard about us.  As an older woman on her own, you could see why she might be worried.

But eventually she thawed.  One day as I was coming home, I ran into her outside her front gate and stopped and had a chat with her.  We introduced ourselves all over again, and then we were friends again.  I think perhaps she'd realized that I was never a threat to her before, so why would I be one now?  We're on very good terms these days.

Quote from: katiej on September 26, 2014, 01:29:07 PM
Well that sounds unpleasant.  :(

I moved away from a similar situation.  Have you considered that?

Not really an option at the moment, hon.

It's okay for the most part. I keep to myself and have very little to do with any of the curtain-twitchers in my immediate vicinity. A policy of avoidance which is, so far, not incredibly unworkable, lol.

Maybe at some point. :)

I don't know how trans friendly it is where I live but it is certainly very Rosie-friendly. I don't think most people care too much whether you are trans or not but are more concerned about whether you are an objectionable whatnot. This has been true for Reading, Bristol, Bath, Birmingham and all the other places I have been to in the UK for the last year and a half.

That said, I shall probably get an entire day's worth of grief tomorrow.

Rosie

The neighborhood I currently live in, is pretty conservative. I've lived here since August 2009. However, I'd already had my total male fail a year before so I was already full time when I moved here. My neighbors for the most part see and treat me as cis tho I'm not anywhere near stealth, and I've told those closest to me my history. All but one have been nothing less than fully supportive. The only other two peeople here I've had problems with were my former business partner and a friend of his, who I thought was my friend too but found out differently when I told him the full story. Neither of these two live in my neighborhood tho, and the one that does live here who has a problem with me just leaves me alone, and I do the same.

For an island in a swampy lake chain in rural Florida it's more supportive than I could ever ask for. :)

Ally :icon_flower:

My neighbors are farmers/ranchers/OTR truckers... They run a 1000 acre ranch/farm here in western SD...

They knew me as a "city boy from Chicago" when I moved in next door 2 years ago...  They never specifically mentioned my transition to full time female but they have been VERY accepting of the new woman next door :o ;D

They came and cut and baled my 37 acres of grass for me earlier this summer ;D  I talked to them again yesterday when a stray dog showed up... They came right by to get him and actually found his owner today... They are always VERY nice and they do know whats going on here  ;)

Im NOT a young easily "passable" woman either... Im 45 and while I do believe I look pretty good, Im newer to all this... Started going out as Female 10-11 months ago and Im only 5 1/2 months on HRT...

I had ZERO trouble when I just started out very much looking like a "man in a dress"... Thankfully things are MUCH better for me today and I do believe I "pass" 95% of the time and that includes cis straight bars and getting picked up by men who honestly didnt know ;D  Im still alive and well so far ;D

So yea I guess its OK, no real "trans" scene here... Just look and be a woman and you will get treated as one here I guess  8)

I honestly don't know if it's trans friendliness or just New England reserve, but nobody in my neighborhood batted an eye as I transitioned in place. :)

@ Antonia, after putting a bit out there about myself I thought about sending you a pm, possibly getting together in your area, or the village. I knew there were a couple of places in Mississauga, didn't quite remember what bar, I think once a month one on Brown's Line, but don't recall their names. It surprised me that you would go to a place in Oakville. I searched & know where it is, not far from me. It will be a pleasure to meet you. You can let me know here or pm me & i will give you my phone number & let me know when the next outing is. I appreciate the invite. I used to be in a support group when I went to a gender Doctor at a facility in Mississauga. I would be pleased to meet some trans people in a  social environment.
Thanks
Jamie

@ Sephirah,

I always love your amazing philosophical posts over the years, I am not on the same levels as you, but you pull me along. I am so sorry that where you live is not accepting. You are a Beautiful person & I hope attitudes will change in your area.

From many others here it is wonderful to read that there are a lot of positive reactions from the cis binary realm of people. Warms your heart.
Cheers
Jamie

My neighborhood is very trans friendly. My neighbor had seen me dressed several times, in passing, so I decided to tell him I'm trans and was transitioning. He told me, "That's great! Congratulations, what name do you want me to call you?"

This thread caught my attention because "How trans-friendly is your neighbourhood" strikes me as a very different question from "How trans-friendly is your town/city/country".  After all you can probably find trans-friendly or at least trans-neutral spots almost anywhere.  But here we're talking about the people we actually live among.

Thus I was very interested in seeing how people rate their neighborhoods, and I decided to take an actual count, now that this thread seems to have pretty well played out.  I rated the responses on this thread as "friendly", "unfriendly" or "middling".  Obviously, how you interpret somebody's reply can be a bit of a judgement call at times, so if somebody wants to go back and do their own count, they might come up with a somewhat different result from mine.

At any rate, according to my count, what we have on this thread is 22 trans-friendly neighborhoods, 7 middling ones and only 4 unfriendly ones.  It's for reasons like this that I personally am optimistic about whether we transpeople will ever gain full acceptance into society.  There are plenty of awful people out there, there's no doubt of that.  But we do find plenty of friends and neutrals as well.  We need to look on the bright side.  Because there definitely is a bright side there.

I live in the tx, ft hood area. Sadly most ppl here are "thugs" and are undereducated or brainwashed by their loads of redneck/hillbilly heritage. There are some decent ppl here.. But theyre mostly army douchebags that dont really care for facts. They believe what yhey want to believe. For instance.. Music was playing in a store the other day.. It was "Scar tissue" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And i heard this guy say "omg i hate country music"..
   That's a very very light example of the type of stupidity that makes up the majority of those around me. It gets worse but you get the idea.
   I want to move but college is really good here. I want to transition while im getting a degree in entrepreneurship/business. Transition/college will take roughly 4 years.. And when i'm finished with both I can go job hunting as ME.

My neighborhood has been grudgingly tolerant (not accepting). I live in small town that is a suburb to Houston, Texas. I already know there have been whispers and looks my way from people who knew me before. What's funny is for those that didn't, I apparently almost always pass and they don't know. It's all a very stark lesson in hypocrisy.

I look forward to moving eventually, something I can't quite do yet. But when I do, there are trans-friendly neighborhoods in Houston, proper, that I look forward to visiting to find a place to live.

Quote from: katiej on September 25, 2014, 03:11:14 PM
I recently moved to Seattle for a few reasons.  But one was definitely the thought that there aren't many better places in the world to transition.

Coming from a slightly different perspective as a guy, but this does remind me of something a slightly older trans man said to me the other day, re: living in Portland, OR --

"The gay guys went to San Francisco, the lesbians went up to Seattle, and all the trans kids came here. [beat] Actually, that's not true any more. Half of Seattle transitioned."  :D

Yay for Seattle!  That's why I moved here.  :)

I can personally attest that Seattle has been a great place to transition.

Seattle is definitely a great place, especially for us.

There are a lot of us from Seattle here.  We should start a real life Seattle chapter of Susans  :)

When I first went full time everyone knew who I was as I lived in  rural West Cumbria UK and had taken many of the locals on holiday through my job. Those who I hadn't knew me as I was the only one who lived local that drove about in a 40ft blue bus. Seriously behind the time attitude wise and it wasn't nice. I suffered abuse intimidation and threats of violence by my neighbours and when I went shopping. Being alone and without friends I had no support and it did effect me until after 4 years I managed to move to another area.

I've since emigrated to Australia and have absolutely no issues. I'm not sure anybody knows I'm trans. I've spoken to some of the neighbours and there hasn't been anything said and they always seem friendly when I see them so I'm happy enough with where I now live

Hugs

Sorcha  ;D

Quote from: SorchaC on October 05, 2014, 04:23:14 AM
When I first went full time everyone knew who I was as I lived in  rural West Cumbria UK and had taken many of the locals on holiday through my job. Those who I hadn't knew me as I was the only one who lived local that drove about in a 40ft blue bus. Seriously behind the time attitude wise and it wasn't nice. I suffered abuse intimidation and threats of violence by my neighbours and when I went shopping. Being alone and without friends I had no support and it did effect me until after 4 years I managed to move to another area.

I've since emigrated to Australia and have absolutely no issues. I'm not sure anybody knows I'm trans. I've spoken to some of the neighbours and there hasn't been anything said and they always seem friendly when I see them so I'm happy enough with where I now live

Hugs

Sorcha  ;D

I find that we are a very open people, its changed over the last 10 or so years, but the movement has been so great

Quote from: Nicole on October 05, 2014, 04:56:38 AM

I find that we are a very open people, its changed over the last 10 or so years, but the movement has been so great

Before coming here last November I'd very little experience of Australians apart from what I'd seen of them at sporting events and that wasn't always flattering to Australia's reputation. Being a serious soccer fan in my old life I spent allot of time attending matches but post transition there was no way I'd have gone to a game. Since coming here I've attended Cricket matches alone which is a measure of how confident I am in my ability to be safe so I believe that you are right about being open. If folks have worked me out and I'm sure that's happened as I'm not that good at passing they certainly haven't felt the need to say anything either to me or to others while I could see or hear them  :)

Sorcha  ;D

I live in a conservative suburb of the Twin Cities. Just as when I lived in a liberal hood of Minneapolis, me being trans is a non-issue by and large. Even when I go back home to Green Bay people seem to be generally supportive. Thinking that reminds me of how my heart warmed when I saw this:

http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/story/news/local/2014/09/11/green-bay-schools-embrace-transgender-students/15452009/

I'm quite lucky to be transitioning  in a suburb  of Chicago. Chicago has a quite large LGBT community  . the burb I live in is a college town, so far so good absolutely no problems.

Gosh I envy so many of you living in accepting places. I really can't wait to move and finally feel truly comfortable and safe.

Quote from: SorchaC on October 05, 2014, 07:01:54 AM
Before coming here last November I'd very little experience of Australians apart from what I'd seen of them at sporting events and that wasn't always flattering to Australia's reputation. Being a serious soccer fan in my old life I spent allot of time attending matches but post transition there was no way I'd have gone to a game. Since coming here I've attended Cricket matches alone which is a measure of how confident I am in my ability to be safe so I believe that you are right about being open. If folks have worked me out and I'm sure that's happened as I'm not that good at passing they certainly haven't felt the need to say anything either to me or to others while I could see or hear them  :)

Sorcha  ;D

I'm a member of the MCC (that was fun explaining to them about myself), and find that Australian sporting events the best to attend, I am away from the garbage (public) but you never see fighting (yet to see a fight at the AFL in a lot of years) and apart from the drunken gobos the crowds are pretty good.
I love cricket, always a great day soaking up the sun

Quote from: Nicole on October 05, 2014, 10:02:46 PM
I'm a member of the MCC (that was fun explaining to them about myself), and find that Australian sporting events the best to attend, I am away from the garbage (public) but you never see fighting (yet to see a fight at the AFL in a lot of years) and apart from the drunken gobos the crowds are pretty good.
I love cricket, always a great day soaking up the sun

I don't understand AFL but have wanted to attend some NRL but it just never fitted in with what was going on. I could and should have gone to last nights Grand Final but decided against it on cost grounds. Looking forward to Cricket World Cup as I have tickets to a couple of matches and after enjoying last years BBL even though my team lost both games I watched I'm looking forward to that starting again in a few weeks  :) I may even go to some Test Cricket this year :)

Sorcha :)